XI
When I pull up to the house I'm in no mood. Certainly not for the beer bottles, the shattered glass on my rug and the cushion stuffing of my couch scattered across the lounge room floor.
It looks like wolves tore through my home.
"Jacob," I call out.
Carefully I try not to step on anything that could disease me.
Taking the steps up to the bedroom, I brace. If the living area and stairs were this trashed, I can only imagine what his stupid friends did up here.
I wish I could say I'm shocked by the display. But I'm not.
Two women lay naked, draped across my husband in my bed. Jacob snores softly, an arm thrown across his face, the other hand gentle on his stomach. I remember watching him sleep when we first started dating. I thought it was magic. Now I think it's tragic.
I'd wondered what this moment would do to me for a really long time. A part of me knew he'd cheat. That part is probably amazed to know that I had the balls to do it first. Consistently too.
Not to the extreme where he'd come home and found me, naked beside Edward, in our marital bed.
I just feel nothing.
My heart is broken. But it's not this that's left it so splintered.
I'm still thinking about Edward. About how he loves me. About how I left him without saying it back. Because I thought about the vow I took to another man. The vow that man was breaking simultaneously in the four walls of the home I'd built while he freeloaded off my success.
Laughter seeps from me. Haphazardly and chaotically I begin to laugh. The irony is hilarious. Jake jerks awake, the two women beside him also stiffening from shock.
"Bella," he covers his lap, as if it's not something anyone in this room hasn't seen before.
"I can't," I try to catch my breath, "you have to be kidding me."
"I can explain," he looks around for what I assume to be shorts, maybe Jesus.
Who knows?
My laughter dies.
I feel the weight lift, inch by inch as I say it. After all this time I let the words fly.
"I want a divorce," rolling my eyes as I move back away from my room.
"Bella," he shouts after me, "stop! No!"
As I reach the bottom of the stairs he catches up, grabbing me, pulling me back into him.
"This isn't it. You're going to throw away our marriage for this?" He shouts.
"Yep," Not even a second of hesitation.
He shakes me, his grip strengthening.
"I won't let you leave me," he threatens.
"Let me go," I try to shrug out of his hold, "this is over. It's done."
"They meant nothing," he motions upstairs, "I was drunk and I didn't mean to."
"Jacob," pulling my arm free, I glare at him, "I don't care. We don't work anymore. We haven't for a very long time and I can't keep doing this."
"Can't keep doing this? This is your marriage," he pulls me back, roughly pushes me against the wall, boxing me in with his arms, "I'm your husband."
"Let me walk out of this house," I demand, voice firm.
"I can't let you go," he shakes his head, tears appearing in his eyes, "you're my whole world. Just give me one last chance."
He's going to put up a fight. Getting out of this house against him isn't going to be easy physically. He's strong and towers over me.
"Let me go," I try to move away, but he pulls me back, "Jacob!"
"Don't leave me," he cups my face, attempts to lean down and kiss me.
But I retract into myself, pulling away from the desperate affection.
"I have to go," I say.
"No," he shouts.
He's turning to anger. A fist comes up behind me, as I brace for a hit I never thought he'd throw, he punches beside me. A fist flying into the dry way beside my head, with a frustrated growl.
"Get the fuck off her," a voice makes us pull apart.
I'd left the front door open to make escape easy. I was only ever planning to walk in and demand a divorce. Then I was going to walk back out and jump into the car with Rosalie. Drive away and hide out at my Dad's house for a few days.
Rosalie stands at the door, arms crossed in anger directed at my husband. Ex-husband now I guess. But before her stands the man my mind has been with this entire time. He looks positively furious.
"Get your hands off her right fucking now," Edward stalks in, pulls Jacob off me and shoves him back.
I'm unsure as to why he is here. But I'm glad he is.
"Who the fuck are you?" Jacob growls.
"Doesn't matter. You don't ever touch her like that again," Edward's hands are tight fists, prepared to strike, "Bella go!"
"Edward. He isn't worth it," I say.
"You know him?" Jacob's head turns to me.
Rolling my eyes I move toward Rosalie. When he attempts to stop me and make a grab from me again, Edward's hand moves. He grabs for Jacob's arm and pushes it aside.
"Fuck man. She's my wife in my home. Who do you think you are?" Jacob shouts.
"She wants to leave," Edward says.
Jacob moves close to Edward. One shove is all it takes. Edward strikes hard and fast, landing a centered hard punch into Jacob's face. Jake retracts hands covering his bleeding nose in shock. Groaning loudly from the pain.
"So do we. Get the fuck away from her," Edward shoves him back so he tumbles to the floor.
Moving toward me, Edward puts an arm around me, guiding my shocked form outside.
"Come on," he guides me away from Rosalie's waiting car.
"Wait where are you going?" Rosalie shouts.
"With me," Edward glares at her, a don't fuck with him expression on his face, "I'll drop her off to the sheriff when I'm done. I came here to talk to you Bella and found that bullshit."
"Wait a minute. When you're done with what?" She glances at me concerned.
"Talking. I came here to talk with her," he pulls open the door to his Volvo, "get in."
My mind is saying not to go with him. But I can't help it. The pull is too strong. My heart wants him too bad.
"I'll be fine," I say to Rose, "I promise I'll be back soon."
Her expression is one of disbelief as we drive away from her.
We don't speak. Not until I notice he's pulling into the driveway of a house.
"Where are we?" I ask.
"She's with a friend for a few nights. Kids are at sleepovers," he steps out of the car, slamming shut his door.
His house?
Well shit.
He opens my car door for me, offering me his hand. My heart skips when we touch, the spark coursing through me. I was so confused. My body and entire being wanted him. Wanted him to be my life.
"Come on," he encourages.
The home is beautiful. Light, airy. Little evidence of untidy children with the living room straightened to perfection. His kitchen is clean with all the appliances you could ever need. Throwing his keys down on the kitchen counter I awkwardly watch him pour us both a glass of red wine.
"Sit down," he points at a stool by the kitchen bench, "we need to talk."
When I do he places my wine before me and stands opposite from me. Leaning against the kitchen counter, eyes hard on me.
"What?" I ask.
"I can't do it," he shakes his head, "the minute you left I knew I couldn't do it."
"Do what?" I sip my wine, mesmerised by him.
"Give you up," he says, "I need you in my life. I'm not willing to give you up. Tonight I want you to stay. Until we have a plan in place where we end with you and me together."
"Edward," I look down sadly, "I would love that but is it really viable? Would you really break up your family for me?"
"It's already broken. It was broken long before I met you. My kids deserve better," he says, "so do I."
"So you propose we continue doing this until the ink goes on your divorce papers?" I ask.
"I propose we stop giving a fuck about the feelings of people who don't care about our feelings. If I weren't there would Jacob have gotten violent today?" He rounds the counter, staring me down.
"No," I shake my head.
But I'm unsure.
"I would bet my car on it that he would," he stands beside me, placing a hand on my back, "you are concerned about protecting the pride of a man who behaved that way because you caught him cheating. What would he do if he found out about us?"
"Probably murder you," I twist on my chair slightly, his hand moving to my lower back.
"Let him," he presses a kiss onto my forehead, "he's just jealous I can make you come with little to no effort."
"Edward." I roll my eyes, struggling to hold back a smile.
"Stay tonight," he pleads, "then we can take on tomorrow together. Support one another through this until we reach the happy ending we want."
His hand moves up my body, as he leans down to kiss me. I moan into him as he places a hand on my breast. Feeling me up as we kiss. Knowing true and well no matter how far away I try and run from this, I'm his.
"I love you," I whisper against his mouth, "I wanted to say it too. But I needed to end it with Jake first. There's so many kinks I need to iron out. Divorce papers, I have so many assets he'll try fight for, I have a job I'm going to fight to keep. It might not look great with me dating you."
"It doesn't matter what it looks like. I love you so much," he looks down at me with a bright smile.
Guiding me up, he lifts me into his arms until I'm seated on the kitchen island. My heart pumping hard as he leans in to kiss my neck. His hands working on the hem of my skirt.
"Shit," I moan, "you're so impossible to resist."
"I do my best to make it hard for you to say no," he trails a hand up to my core and grins wickedly, "it works every time. You're already wet for me."
"Only ever for you," I lean in to take his lips against mine, as his fingers get to work, pushing aside the fabric of my panties so he can pleasure me.
We're so distracted we don't notice her at first. His fingers are working me like magic, lips are on mine as I moan into his mouth. Enjoying each flick and curl of his fingers.
Something hits me hard on the arm. A sting immediately after the blow. I pull back from Edward in pain, to place my hand on my arm in pain, glancing down at the wound. Blood comes away from it when I pull my hand back. Glass is shattered everywhere around me on the kitchen bench.
Edward isn't looking at me. He's looking at the edge of the kitchen where his wife stands. A terrifying fury across her face.
She had thrown a bottle of wine at me. It had hit the counter before ricocheting toward me.
"You fucking dick," she shouts, "what the fuck is this?"
"Tanya stop," Edward pulls away from me, hands held up in warning, "just stop."
"You fucking home wrecking whore," Tanya spits at me, "how long have you been fucking my husband?"
"Tanya," Edward shouts, "we'll talk about this later. I need to get Bella to the hospital."
"I'll send her with far fucking worse," she makes a step toward me, but Edward blocks her.
"Touch her and I'll make you very sorry," he growls at her, "I'll be back in a few hours and we can talk about this."
"Talk about nothing you unfaithful fuck. Did our vows mean anything to you?" She snaps.
Shockingly enough she seems hurt. Her eyes are watering and she looks completely blindsided by this.
I feel a sharp stab of guilt.
"Both of you get the fuck out of my home," she shouts.
"It's my home," Edward tries.
"Not any fucking more," she screams at him, "you destroyed it with your dick. Fucking that absolute tramp. Why would you do this to our family?"
"The family you're never here for?" He fires back.
"The family you're never here for because your to busy fucking her," she points at me disgusted.
"I'm going to go," I stand, trying to not cry from the insults and the sting of my arm.
"Don't fuck anyone else's husband on the way to the hospital, whore," Tanya sneers at me.
"Fucking watch your mouth," Edward moves to wrap an arm around me protectively.
Grabbing for his keys he guides me to the door, shielding me from Tanya's abuse. It grows louder in volume as we exit. She calls me every name under the sun. Him too.
When we get to the hospital a doctor who works with Edward stitches me up. Thankfully just minor damage.
When Edward is getting coffee, I text Rosalie. Tell her I'm at the hospital. Within twenty minutes she arrived helping me collect my things. Helping me pick up the pieces. Judgement free, furious at Tanya and Edward. Protective and ready to fight anyone I ask her too.
I'm signing discharge papers when he returns. Holding a coffee for us each. He knows my order now.
"Give us a second?" I say to Rose.
She nods, glaring at Edward as she leaves.
"You are just like your fucking brother," she says to him, "do any of you Cullen men have honour? Your father would be fucking ashamed."
Edward says nothing to her. Clearly ashamed too. He just stares at me, careful to not show the impact her words have.
"We have to end this," I say, eyes cast downward, "Rosalie is taking me home. I think your wife won't…"
"Ew wife," he corrects.
"She won't shut up about this and I need to try to save my job," I look up at him.
"You don't want to try?" he shakes his head.
"Whenever we do there's a trail of destruction behind us," tears pool in my eyes, "my heart can take Jake. I haven't even shed a tear over it. But you… I can't take it."
"You're giving up? After I swore I'd do whatever it takes to be with you? You're just leaving me." He looks devastated.
"I think we have a lot we need to sort through. We don't have a fighting chance as we currently are," I pick my bag up, and move toward him, "I'm sorry. I meant what I said. I do love you. Which is why we need to be apart. We can't let ourselves be bigger targets for everything that is about to try and destroy us. You need to be strong for your children. I need to be strong for myself."
"You're right," he moves past me, toward the window.
He's not looking out of it. He just can't be within reach of me. I've hurt him.
"I wish it could be different," I mutter.
"I'll come for you," he turns to look at me, "and when I do you won't refuse me again. I'll love you no matter what. If we're together or not."
I want to say I'll be waiting.
But who knows what tomorrow will hold.
Thanks for reading.
X