Big Bob was hesitant to let Tina go out with Zeke but ultimately decided that Zeke seemed like a good guy and Tina did really need to get away. He handed Tina the emergency phone and made her promise to be back by six thirty. He also warned Zeke that he would make his life a living hell if he hurt Tina any further. Tina and Zeke slowly made their way through town. They stopped at a small park. Tina vaguely remembered coming their a few times when she was very young. The park was ancient back then and when the state gave a grant to build a better, larger park in a vacant lot nearby. The smaller park closed but they never took out the equipment. Zeke led Tina to a dilapidated gazebo. Tina distinctly remembered pretending was a princess castle. She caught her breath when she remembered declaring herself being Princess of Big Sister Land. When Linda told her she was pregnant with Louise. She remembered imagining bringing Louise here and playing princess together in the castle. The park closed before Louise was big enough to play and Louise never liked princesses anyway. Now Louise was dead. Tina fell to her knees crying.
"Tina!" Zeke cried.
"My mom and dad brought me here when I was little. We came here the day we found out Louise was a girl." Tina sobbed.
"Oh, I am sorry. We can go." Zeke offered.
"No, it's kind of nice to be here." Tina admitted.
"Do you want to talk, or do you just want to…" Zeke asked his voice trailing off. His eyes landing on a small black shoe that was slowly rotting away in the corner. He raced towards the shoe scooping it up. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw there was no foot inside.
"Zeke? Are you OK?" Tina questioned.
"Tina. There is something you need to know. I…I was the one who found out it was Jimmy Pesto who killed Louise. I started working for my uncle yesterday. I wanted to help you guys out with ya know Louise's medical bills. So, I started working for my uncle. Yesterday I was waiting for him to give me something else to do. I went out to look at the cars in the junk yard. He has a body shop and a junk yard. I was looking at the junked cars. I saw Mr. Pesto's car. I knew about his accident but didn't know it was Louise's accident too. The same accident I mean. I was really curious. Obviously, you know that Louise's right leg was severed in two places. How the foot was already gone when her leg came off. It's because. Because it was in the grill of Jimmy's car. Tina, I found it! I found her foot!" Zeke rambled as he trembled and sobbed.
"Oh My God, Zeke" Tina gasped.
"I know it's nothing compared to what you went through. Seeing it happen. It almost being you, but it still hurts." Zeke sobbed.
"I guess it's kind of nice to know I am not alone. I feel so alone. Gene is just sitting in his room playing sad songs. My mom is just sitting there drinking wine. She's drank a bottle and a half. Big bottles. She and my dad had a bad fight. She won't even let him in the room. He was on the floor in the hallway. My Aunt Gayle and Uncle Teddy are just sitting there acting like nothing happened. My grandparents are basically at war. My mom's parents never liked my dad and now they are blaming him for what happened. My dad's dad isn't taking to well to the way they talk about my dad. I just hate myself because if I had been more careful, she would still be here, and we would still be happy." Tina explained.
"Tina what happened was Mr. Pesto's fault. He was speeding and driving drunk. He left the scene of the accident. Even if you had been being more careful. Jimmy was going so fast he could have hit you guys anyway." Zeke assured.
"God, Zeke why did Mr. Pesto have to drive drunk? Why did we have to be in the street at that moment? Why did it have to be Louise?" Tina sobbed.
"I don't know, T." Zeke whispered.
Tina and Zeke slowly made there way back to the apartment. Zeke used the last of his money to buy Tina and slushie at a convenience store. The cashier was friends with Cheryl and usually would give him, her employee discount. Tina took a sip of the drink and for a second she forgot the past few days. For a brief second, she was just hanging out with one of her friends. Reality returned soon enough. The hearse was parked in front of Mort's. Tina watched in horror as the tiny coffin was removed from the vehicle and placed on the lift. Tina prayed she was wrong, but no other children had died that day and that coffin was too small for even Hugo. The drink fell from Tina's hands, her body felt hot all over, and she began to violently tremble. She collapsed to the floor heaving and weeping.
"Tina!" Zeke cried.
"Louise. Louise. That's Louise. That's her… her…" Tina stammered vomiting all over herself.
"Oh Tina. Come here." Zeke whispered
Jessica lay on her bed. The lights were off, the curtains were drawn, and the door was locked. She did not want to talk to anybody, she did not want to see anybody. She could not believe that Louise was really gone. Louise and Megan were her best friends. Now Louise was dead. Dead and never coming back. Everybody had tried to talk to her, but she had shut them out. She had even ignored Megan's call. She just wanted Louise back.
Linda raised the bottle to her mouth. Her head was spinning, and it took all her energy just to roll to the other side of the bed, but at least she was beginning to forget. Forget that her youngest child was dead. Forget that her husband basically wanted everybody in the family dead. The bottle was getting low. She pulled herself upright and managed to get in a standing position. She leaned heavily on the bed and then the nightstand. From there she hung onto the wall, stumbling toward the kitchen. She saw Bob curled up in the hall crying out Louise's name as if he cared about her. She kicked him hard in the back but lost her balance in the process. The bottle fell from her hand and shattered on the floor.
"Aw look what you made me do." Linda slurred.
"Linda? Are you OK?" Bob asked.
"Our daughter is dead your dumbass!" Linda snapped.
"I know she is dead! I know it!" Bob cried.
"And it's all your fault. Cops should have arrested you." Linda slurred.
"Linda you really need to lie down." Big Bob pleaded.
"Oh, look at you trying to be father of the year all of the sudden." Linda groaned.
"Linda how much have you had to drink?" Big Bob questioned.
"Considering I still remember that my daughter is dead. Not enough." Linda moaned.
"Linda trusts me I have tried to drink somebody's memory away you can't. You just lose the only good things left." Big Bob pleaded.
"Fuck you" Linda hissed.
Linda stumbled into the kitchen. She retrieved the third and final bottle from the cabinet. This may be enough to get through the night and maybe to last her part of the morning, but she was going to need a lot more to get through the coming days. She unscrewed the cap and stumbled towards the living room. Gayle and Teddy gasped at her state. She stumbled towards the couch and collapsed between her parents.
"Need more wine." Linda slurred.
"Linda, I think you've had enough." Teddy observed.
"Don't you start." Linda warned.
"Of course, baby. Anything you need." Gloria assured.
"Yeah Linda. We'll get you wine." Al replied.
"I think Teddy's right." Gayle commented.
"Excuse me?" Linda demanded.
"Nothing" Gayle sighed.
"Mommy" Gene whispered.
"Come here Geneie Weanie. Come here before daddy kills you too. Come here and go away with me." Linda pleaded.
"Mommy? Are you OK?" Gene asked.
"I just need to forget Louise." Linda assured.
"Why would you want to forget Louise?" Gene questioned.
"Because I miss her so much." Linda slurred.
Gene returned to his room. His arm was killing him, but he had to eat with his pain killers, and he had not eaten since the previous day. He had not eaten. That was so strange to him. Even stranger he was hungry. Really hungry. He felt sick even, but he couldn't eat. He didn't have the strength. His mind went to his mom. Why did Linda want to forget Louise? Why was she so drunk? He knew Linda liked wine, but she never got like this. She never got sweaty, sick, fall down drunk. God, he wished Louise was here. Why did it have to be her? What had she done to deserve such a horrific end. He wanted to work more on his song, but he still couldn't get past the first few notes. He tried to work on the lyrics, but his tears kept staining the paper. Eventually he gave up, turned off the light and fell onto his bed. Fresh tears were stinging his eyes. He wondered if he would ever be able to stop crying.
"They say to never meet your heroes. What do you do when yours dies for you?" Gene began to sing.
He pulled himself upright and again retrieved the note pad. He went to his closet and found the swim goggles he had used a few years ago for a Halloween costume. He carefully slipped them onto his head. The tears no longer stained the paper but the googles were fogging up fast. They were actually filling with water. Part of him wished the water would get into his nose and he would drown. He clicked his pen and began to write out the lyrics. "they say to never meet your heroes. What do you do when yours dies for you?" He read the lyrics repeatedly. They almost sounded like one of the songs they used to sing at Vacation Bible School. Gloria and Al used to take them every year before they moved to Florida. Was he comparing Louise to Jesus? Maybe that was a little too far, but he still really liked the lyrics. Heck he only had the first sixteen words of the song. That was barely anything. Maybe it would be better when the song was finished. He removed the goggles and again curled up on the bed repeating the lyrics over and over. They were true. Louise was his hero and she had died for him. Now what was he supposed to do?
It was nearly midnight before Teddy returned home. He spent a good twenty minutes looking for his truck. He barely remembered Big Bob driving him to Bog Harbor that evening to pick it up. After it had been parked near the hospital for two days. He hated to leave the Belchers. It killed him to see the once strong family now crumbling. He hated that little Louise was gone. He was going to miss that sweet child. She had taken the longest to win over of any of the Belcher children. Especially after Linda had let him sleep in her room, but once he won her over. She had adored him. Now she was gone. He didn't understand how or why children died. He thought about his cousin Rusty who had been accidentally shot by his best friend. The other boy's dad was a cop. He set his service revolver on the coffee table one night. The boys found it and his son shot Rusty in the head. He actually lived for five months after before succumbing to an infection. Teddy was only four, but he knew that's when his father started drinking. Rusty had been in their custody since he was two and he had always been the family favorite. His dad took the loss especially hard, and his casual drinking quickly morphed into full blown alcoholism. Teddy's mind flashed to Linda. Seeing her fall down drunk. He knew it was the first day without Louise, but Teddy still feared the road Linda was heading down. He turned into his driveway and exited his truck. His eyes fell on the spot where Francis was buried. Losing that guinea pig had shattered his heart and that was just a stupid rat. He could not imagine the pain Bob and Linda were feeling. He walked through the front door and back to his room. He collapsed onto his bed and for the first time since Friday allowed tears to fall.
Tina was sleeping in Louise's room. So, Bob took the opportunity to sleep in Tina's room. He lay on her bed and rolled the large shard of glass around his hand. Big Bob had picked up most of the glass from Linda's shattered bottle, but Bob had managed to sneak the largest piece away. He uncapped his hand and held the glass to his eye. He raised his arms to his eyes. He studied the scars that covered his skin. The scars he had made up various lies to cover his tracks. Everything from old kitchen accidents to a nasty fall in gym class years ago. The scars he had given himself for years. The scars that had begun to appear the day he returned to school after his mom's death.
FLASHBACK
Nine-year-old Bob sat alone at the bus stop; his head hung low. He was now one of those kids. The kids everybody whispered about. The kids the teachers almost never punished and went out of their way to make sure they stayed afloat. The kids the other kids didn't want to play with. The kids who only got invited to birthday parties, because of "the thing that happened to them." Now he was a dead parent kid. He had begged his dad to let him stay home but Big Bob had refused. Claiming they needed to get back to normal. Easy for Big Bob. He had never even closed the diner. He closed for few hours the day she died and the day of the funeral but other than that it was business as usual. Bob did not want to go back to normal. To him nothing would ever be normal again.
"Your Bob Belcher, right?" An older girl asked. Bob recognized her as Shelia Tuck. She was a high schooler. One of the girls who smoked in the bathroom and drank. One of the girls who did things with boys in exchange for homework and test answers.
"Yeah" Bob replied.
"And your mom died two weeks ago? Right?" Sheila asked.
"Yeah" Bob sighed.
"Too bad. My mom died when I was your age." Shelia commented taking a puff off of a cigarette.
"Oh, I am sorry." Bob apologized.
"Yeah, it still hurts but everybody else has moved on. Me I can't move on. I need to hurt. So, I learned a little trick. A trick to make sure I feel every day." Shelia explained.
"Really?" Bob asked.
"Yeah. Want to see?" Shelia offered.
"Sure" Bob replied.
"You just go like this." Shelia explained withdrawing a switch blade from her pocket and digging it deep into her arm skin.
"You're hurting yourself!" Bob gasped.
"No kid the universe already hurt me. I'm just reminding myself." Shelia laughed taking another puff.
Later that afternoon Bob was alone in his room. He had found one if his mom's old pocketknives. His dad had said to take what he wanted. Well, he wanted the knife. He popped it open gazed at it and then held it over his wrist. For the longest time he just held it over his arm. Then he saw her picture. Shelia was right. The universe had already hurt him. He dug the knife into his arm. Not as deep as Sheila's but deep enough. Blood began to trickle down. It felt so good, the pain felt so good. He stuck the knife in again, deeper this time.
END FLASHBACK
Bob held the glass over his arm. He started to dig in, but the guilt quickly followed. He could not allow himself to bleed all over the room of his surviving daughter. He pulled himself off the bed and made his way to the bathroom. He climbed into the tub and then removed the glass from his pocket. He raised his arm and dug in deep. The blood began to fall and deep down he knew it was the pain he deserved. He dug the knife into his other arm. He rolled up his pants and began to gash his ankles. He was bloody and dizzy, but it was the pain he deserved.
"Is this good enough Louise. Good enough punishment?" Bob cried into the darkness.
Zeke tossed and turned in his bed. It was hot as hell with all the vents closed but he could not look at anything vented. He was sweating and dizzy, but it was better than his heart racing and being unable to breathe. There was a pounding on the door. Confused Zeke pulled himself upright and looked out the window. It was the cops. What were police doing at his house? He saw his dad open the door. The cops were now buzzing all over the trailer. Zeke heard things breaking and doors being opened. He heard his baby sister cry and Cheryl beg them not to take her baby. Officers were now in his room. They were going through his things.
"Come with me son." The cop ordered.
"What? Why?" Zeke demanded.
"For your own good." The cop replied.
"There aren't any drugs in here! I've been clean for two years. Please don't take my children." His dad pleaded.
"Drugs? What is going on?" Zeke demanded.
"We received a report from a young man named Jimmy Poplopovich Junior. Says his best friend's dad was cooking meth and abusing his kids." Another cop explained.
"My parents aren't using! I got abused in foster care. Everyway you can be but never here and my sister has never been hurt in her life." Zeke argued.
"No need to lie son. You are safe now." The cop assured Zeke, as his parents were led away in hand cuffs.
"No! This is lie! A lie!" Zeke cried as the officer drug him out of the house and to cruiser. His sister was put in another police car. Her shoe felt ono the sidewalk as she kicked trying to get away from the cops. Another shoe. Another reminder of car. Jimmy Junior had turned his dad in. Was Jimmy Junior really that cruel? Zeke leaned over and vomited all over the seat.