A Sudden Adoption
Nile was heading out to buy some milk. Normally, this would not be his job, however, he seemed to have pissed off logistics. Then again, Major Yu also had a habit of fucking with him. Nile wasn't very popular with the man, since he wasn't British. He let out a sigh and continued down the road that led to the nearest grocery store. Almost there.
HONK!
Nile jumped as a car honked at him and felt a small hand in his pocket he grabbed the arm and turned. The kid's eyes went comically wide and he let out a squeak. Nile felt something in his chest squeeze. "Where are your parents?"
Ah, fuck. There went his fake accent. Hopefully, the kid wouldn't know the difference. "They're dead!"
The blonde kid was now scowling at him. Whoops. Right. "Then, uh, who's in charge of you?"
The kid drooped slightly. Nile almost felt bad for him. He couldn't be more than eight or ten. "Well, it was Ian, my uncle. Then he hired a babysitter. Ian was supposed to be back like three weeks ago and the babysitter had to go because her dad died. I'm sure he'll be back any day, though."
Nile resisted the urge to bite his lip. Yermalov had spent ages beating the habit out of him. It was still hard to keep from doing it sometimes. He wasn't sure how to break it to the kid that Ian was probably never coming back. "Why don't you just come to the store and pick out what you want? I'm sure you're hungry."
Nile knew he was a sucker. Then again, his younger brother would have been about the same age if he was alive. And everyone in Nile's family had brown eyes. "Are you sure? I did just kind of-"
Nile waved him off. Kid was lucky he was so damn cute. And had big shiny brown eyes. The kid followed him to the store like a lost puppy. Nile bought him a sandwich, chips, and a drink. He sat on the bench and sighed.
Could he file a child as a personal pet? It was basically the same thing, right? You fed them, played with them, and cleaned up after them. Nile pulled out a budget sheet. He was eighty percent sure that he could afford a kid. "Is that a budget sheet?"
Nile was weirded out. How did a kid know what a budget sheet looked like? The letters swam for a bit. "Uh, yeah."
Nile stared at it for a while. The letters swirled a bit more as if to taunt him. Fuck. He knew how to read. "Do you need help?"
Nile turned to look at the kid. The kid had finished his juice box and food. "You can do budget sheets?"
The kid beamed at him and took the pencil out of his hand. He patted Nile gently on the shoulder. "Don't worry. Ian taught me how to do these when I was really young. I think I was like five or six."
Nile sent a silent prayer of thanks to whatever deity had seen fit to send him the magic spreadsheet child as he began listing off the budget items. The blonde kid began dutifully writing them all down. "Um, how do you spell education?"
Nile glanced over the kid's shoulder. It didn't look quite right. Then again, English was like his fourth language. That was what the education budget was for. "Close enough for now."
His supervising officer could fix the spelling on that report. Nile grinned as the kid added up the numbers and wrote down the answer. "Thanks, kid."
The blonde kid folded his arms. His legs swung under the bench, not even close to the ground. "I'm ten and my name is Alex."
Nile felt his lips twitch. It was almost funny. "Well, Alex, do you want to stay with me for a bit? Just until Ian gets back? We could swing by the apartment and check if he's back every day I'm here."
Alex looked at him suspiciously. Nile supposed it was warranted. "Do you live alone?"
Nile carefully shuffled the spreadsheet into his bag. It was probably good enough to be submitted. "Uh, no. I share the house with my manager and sometimes a couple of coworkers. You can meet, Valerie, my manager when we get there."
Alex shrugged. Nile mentally breathed a sigh of relief. "Alright, you're probably not a serial killer, then."
Nile barked out a laugh. The irony. "No. Not a serial killer."
Nile was an assassin, thank you very much. He only murdered people for profit. "I should be submitting that sheet and some other paperwork pretty soon."
Valerie was going to be pissed. Nile didn't care, though. Alex got off the bench. Nile offered him his hand. The kid's tiny hand slid into his.
Nile banged the door open as he returned to his house. Rumor had it that Valerie had also been Malagasto-trained at one point. It would be best not to surprise her either way. "VALERIE! I BROUGHT A GUEST!"
His exasperated supervisor came out of her office. She took one look at Alex and glared at him. "You brought home a child."
Nile folded his arms. Alex hid behind him. Good Alex. "He was abandoned! And an orphan!"
Valerie scowled at him. Nile let out a huff. "This isn't South Africa, Nile. You can't just grab a child off the streets and go 'mine now.' There is a legal pro-"
Nile rolled his eyes and cut her off with a wave. Valerie scowled at him. "Relax, let me get him to his room. I'll file him under the pet paperwork and everything should be fi-"
"NILE, YOU MAY NOT FILE HUMAN CHILDREN UNDER PETS!"
Alex gently patted his arm as he steered him towards the nearest spare bedroom. The kid lowered his voice. "Don't worry. I can do your paperwork for you and forge your signature with a bit of practice."
"I HEARD THAT! NILE, YOU ARE NOT USING CHILD LABOR FOR LOGISTICS PAPERWORK!"
Nile ignored her and squeezed Alex's hand. He grinned at the kid. "Wicked. I'll see you in a bit after I calm her down."
With that, Nile slunk back out to the living room. He arranged his face into a suitably contrite expression. This was going to be a long talk.
Based on a prompt by Zyzyax (see story summary). This is the 247th work in the Winds of Change 2022 Alex Rider Prompt event, where a new prompt (plus a short 1-3K work) is posted every day. For more details, see the AO3 collection. We have an index of all the prompts used in this event so far and going forwards - join the discord to get access to the online index (and to take part in our events, chat about everything and anything, and meet a load of awesome people!