I yawned, exhausted, as usual. My wound wasn't done healing yet, it was just beginning to scab. I sat up in the crow's nest, staring out at the vast ocean in front of me. I'd had to argue a bit with Sanji and Nami to even have them let me get up here on my own. It took way too long to climb up, but… the view was worth it.
It was my first time seeing the ocean—an ocean—the other day, and I barely registered how beautiful it was due to everything else on my mind. It spanned so far that I couldn't see anything in the distance, and while I'd previously known that to be fact, the magnitude of it was lost on me. We'd sailed so many miles in multiple days. No island in sight.
The sun hadn't quite risen yet. It was still sort of dark. The sky was filled with twinkling stars, the galaxy was visible and not too dissimilar from the milky way. A full moon and crescent were visible tonight, and I couldn't stop staring up at them. Morning light painted itself across the bottom of the horizon, reds and pinks bled into the dark blue-purple of the night.
A smile snuck its way on my face. Moments like these, the ones where I'm alone and not in some dark, depressing room were the best. Soft wind blew through my hair. It was peaceful. The loneliness I felt wasn't unwelcome, it was more comforting than anything, different than the feeling normally was.
Being around the crew was awkward and uncomfortable, aside from Nami and sort of Usopp. Sanji was still weird at times but mostly respected my boundaries. Luffy was… Luffy. He's a great character, but as a person to be around? Loud. It wasn't a bad thing, just not something I was used to. Slowly but surely, I would warm up to it. Hopefully.
Zoro was another story. He was nice at times, quiet at others, or just seemingly uncomfortable around me in the moments we crossed paths when no one else was around. He never approached to talk about Kuina.
'I should definitely bring her up to him…'
Of course, I'd been telling myself that every day. No avail. There were a few times that I'd almost said something, but other things would come up or I'd just get anxious and say 'hello' and walk away. Awkward.
The sun rose into visibility, nearly murdering my eyes. I sipped on some hot chocolate that Sanji made for me, which was nearly cold now.
"You ready to come down yet?" Zoro yelled up from the deck. He occasionally slept outside and woke up with the sun.
"I guess!" I shouted back. "Can you catch this?" I peeked over the side to see where he was before I tossed the thermos of hot chocolate down. It thudded and bounced on the planks beside Zoro. I winced and felt like I was about to get sick.
"No," he shouted back. There were a few seconds of silence before he started laughing, lifting the icky feeling I had.
I started to climb out of the crow's nest, which was hard without being in pain. It took far too long to get down. I was trying to be careful, not hurt myself further. I picked up the rolling thermos, which was surprisingly sturdy, and walked over to Zoro, sitting down about two to three feet from him.
"We need to talk," I said.
"About what?"
"Kuina. Me knowing."
"What more is there to say?" he asked.
"You seem uncomfortable around me. There's clearly more to say, and there's stuff I need to tell you."
"Talk."
I fumbled with the hem of my sweater, focusing on the soft fabric to keep me calm. "So, she died. That's a fact, and you have her sword. I know she means a lot to you. Um, so there's this girl in Loguetown. Tashigi." I turned, looking him in the eyes.
"What about her?" He looked a bit confused.
"She looks exactly like Kuina. Except with glasses. She's a sword nerd, carries a little book around with all the notable and famous swords listed. Oh and uh, she's a marine."
Zoro's expression was hard to read. Surprise and disbelief were big possibilities, however.
"What?" he asked. His voice was breathy, disbelieving or coming to terms.
"Yeah. It's a lot. I wanted to give you a heads up."
A glint of annoyance appeared in his eyes. "The day we arrive at the island she's on?"
"I'm really bad at bringing things up, okay! It's a thing. And I'm sorry about that. Truly."
"It's not that hard," Zoro scoffed.
"Says the guy who literally never talks about his past! By the time you guys are fighting some of the biggest bads in this world, the crew literally knows nothing about your past. Outside of Johnny, Yasaku, and your pirate hunting, you're just the swordsman. To them, you're the Zoro they live within the moment. They don't know the part of you that lost a dear friend."
The silence seemed to stretch as far as the horizon. Zoro looked contemplative, maybe, and I let him think. Standing, I could see a blip in the distance. I pulled out my spyglass, leant to me by Usopp, and saw what looked to be an island. Probably. Most likely Loguetown. It wasn't visible enough to bring up to the crew yet, or at least that's what I told myself. I wanted to give Zoro time to speak to me, considering I'd already regretted what I said. It was harsh, and he didn't completely deserve it.
"My past isn't important. No one's past is important on this ship," Zoro spoke slowly, breaking the long silence.
"That's what you have to say after taking five minutes to speak?"
"What do you want from me?"
"To give an actual answer. Not some blanket response."
The silence wasn't quite as long this time. "I don't like talking about her. I haven't… I haven't spoken about her in years. Maybe ever." His voice broke a bit and his eyes turned glossy.
I sat down again, a bit closer this time. Six to twelve inches away. "I know how you feel. I've lost a lot of people recently and bringing it up always hurts. Makes me cry, y'know?" My voice cracked with my last word and I started to tear up. I ran my fingers along the charms of my necklace. Along their names. "It's okay to cry. Let it out."
"Everyone'll be up soon," he whispered. "There's no need to cry about it. I did enough of that after it happened."
"This ship is a safe space. No one will say anything negative," I said. "And It may have been a long time ago, but that doesn't mean you're not allowed to cry about it. It can help you process, or reprocess things. I think"
"That shitty cook would say something. I don't need to 'reprocess' it."
"If he does, I'll yell at him. And really? 'Cause when you seen Tashigi, you broke her glasses. Oh and uh, do that again. Break her glasses."
"Doesn't reassure me," he said. "And why do you want me to break her glasses?"
"So she'll drag us to the marines, give us a job."
Zoro looked at me like I was crazy, or stupid, maybe both. "Just why would we do that?"
"Trust me?"
"No. Tell me what you're planning."
"Gotta get money for stuff somehow."
"By working for the marines?"
"Somethin' like that."
"Uh-huh. And why am I supposed to break her glasses?"
"When you broke her glasses before, she dragged you to the marine base and made you a janitor. I'm thinking the same thing'll happen again."
He stared at me with the same expression, which was definitely anxiety-inducing. Almost like I was being interrogated. I fumbled with the hem of my sweater some more, rubbing against the fabric and trying to focus on the texture.
"If you're set on going to the marine base, why don't you just ask for a job?"
"That's… wow. Okay. Yeah, um, I honestly didn't think of that."
"You're not very bright, are you?"
"At least I know my left from my right."
"Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna go get a drink," Zoro said, and walked away.
The clunking of bootsteps and sounds of childish banter seemed to echo across the ship deck. Usopp and Luffy had awoken, the latter was sitting on the railing outside of the kitchen, while the former was walking up some steps to join Luffy.
"Goodmorning, Captain! Morning, Usopp!" I called out.
"Morning Eira!" they both said in near unison.
"Come join us for breakfast," Luffy shouted.
I grinned, "Alright!"
Sanji climbed up on deck, appearing from behind the mast. "Goodmorning, Darling!" He greeted, flashing a smile. "Did you get down safely?"
I nodded. "Morning. It took a bit, but I didn't hurt myself."
"Good," he said. "What do you want for breakfast?"
"Hmm." I thought for a moment. "Crepes. Sweet and savoury?"
"I think we have the ingredients for that, I'll get right on it," he said.
"Loguetown is on the horizon, so we can restock our supplies, get more stuff. I have a list."
"Good to know, what's on your list?"
I stood up and started walking towards the kitchen with him. "Snails, clothes, money."
"Money?"
"Yeah, I have a plan I think." We walked into the kitchen, Usopp and Luffy were bantering while Zoro was downing some sort of spirit. "I just need Zoro to guide me."
My words seemed to be loud enough to evoke silence from everyone in the room.
Luffy's laughter was the first to break the silence, followed by a giggle-filled sentence, "Zoro can't even find his way to the bathroom! How is he supposed to guide you?"
"Luffy's right! I'm surprised he even knows how to get to the booze all the time," Usopp chimed in.
"He's like a dog, he can sniff it out," Sanji said.
"Hey! I know my way around the ship!" Zoro shouted.
"Sure Zoro, keep telling yourself that," said Usopp.
"Hey! Be nice, Usopp, you still have something to ask him and you have to be on his good side," I said.
One of Zoro's eyebrows went up, curious. "What do you need to ask?"
Usopp had comically large drops of sweat rolling down his forehead, he stood as still as a board, seemingly terrified. Silent. Luffy was looking between the two, bouncing a bit in his seat.
"Come on, what're you gonna ask him?" Luffy asked Usopp, extending the words 'on' and 'him' as he spoke.
"Uh! I-I think I suddenly came down with uh, staying-in-the-kitchen-is-gonna-kill-me-itis!" Usopp shouted, and tried to run out of the kitchen until his shirt collar was grabbed by Zoro.
On second look, Usopp was still trying to run, even while he was slightly suspended in the air by Zoro's grip.
"Ask."
"I- I uh, Iwaswonderingifyoucouldhelpmegetstrongerthanks!" Usopp blurted out, stringing most of his words into one.
"Say that again," Zoro said.
"You should help him out! But why didn't you ask me?" Luffy pouted.
"You understood that?" Sanji asked, just as Nami walked in.
"What's going on?" she asked.
"Just Usopp struggling to speak, nothing special," I replied. "Morning, by the way."
Nami greeted me as well as everyone else good morning. Usopp tried and failed to explain to Luffy why he didn't ask his captain to train him, ending in Luffy's continued pouting. Zoro sat quietly sipping his drink, trying to ignore the near-argument happening beside him. Sanji began cooking breakfast, and I sat on the floor under a window beside the door.
"Guys! Quiet down," Nami raised her voice at Usopp and Luffy. "We should be arriving at Loguetown in the next hour or two. It means we're almost at the Grand Line!"
"Why don't we just head straight to the Grand Line?" Luffy asked, still a bit pouty.
"We have to restock our food supply," Sanji said.
"I have to pick up some supplies," Usopp mentioned.
Zoro chimed in too, "I need swords."
"I have a shopping list I have to give you, Usopp, do you have a pen and paper?" I asked.
"Yeah," he said, grabbing a pad of paper, quill, and ink out of his bag.
I started writing down the list, as well as some helpful tips about scammers and Daddy the Father.
"I think you'll really like it there, Luffy," Nami said.
"Why's that?"
"It's known as the town of the beginning and the end. It's where the King of the Pirates was born, and where he was executed."
"Really! That's so cool!" Luffy shouted.
As I was writing, I said, "You gonna look for the scaffolding, captain?"
"Is that where he died?"
"Yup."
"Then definitely!" Luffy shouted. He started gushing in excitement.
Writing with a quill was… kind of unique. Pens, pencils, and markers were what I was used to. Having to frequently dip the quill was kind of annoying, on top of my fear of dropping the ink bottle. I held it in my left hand, which I also used to keep the pad of paper sort of stable against my legs.
"Breakfast is ready!" Sanji announced, just as I finished writing. "We're having two types of crepes today, sweet and savoury." He started setting plates of food on the table, holding onto one more, "Eira, sit at the table to eat, please."
I nodded and sat beside Nami, who was now squished between Zoro and me. Sanji gave us four crepes each, two of each kind, aside from Zoro who seemed to only have one sweet crepe, three savoury. Luffy also had way more than everyone else; his plate was absolutely piled.
The sweet crepes had some sort of sweet cream inside, along with strawberries and some kind of tart berry that I couldn't identify. The outside had a coat of confectioner's sugar and a generous drizzle of chocolate. The Savory crepes had ham, mushrooms, and cheese inside, along with maybe parsley or thyme sprinkled on top, but it could've easily been something else.
"Hey Nami," I said after taking a few bites, "Do you have a tank top that'll fit me?"
"Probably, why?"
"Sweaters are getting a bit hot."
Sanji had a look in his eyes that made me a bit uncomfortable, but outside of that, there was no other change in his demeanour. 'He probably won't say anything, hopefully.'
"I'll grab it after I eat," she said.
"Thank you." I gave her a smile and kept eating.
"More!" Luffy shouted, licking his lips and rhythmically slammed his fork and knife on the table.
"We'll be on the island soon, Luffy. You just ate a bunch. You can wait," Sanji said, sighing.
"Captain," I said, "Be careful in Loguetown, okay?"
"I'll be fine," he said, laughing a bit.
"I think there's some stuff I should tell you guys about it—if that's okay," I said.
"But I wanna be surprised!" Luffy whined.
"I don't want you to die or anything, though!"
"I didn't die in your story, did I?"
I was silent. He had a point. "Fine."
"Can you tell me what to look out for?" Usopp asked.
"Oh!" I handed him the piece of paper with the notes and shopping list. "Here, this isn't super detailed, but it's what you need to look out for."
"Darling, do you have anything for me?" Sanji asked, speaking over Usopp.
"Nah, just go shopping. Nami, I think you're good too, and Zoro will be my navigator, so I don't have to inform him of anything," I said with a straight face. Mini talent: slight acting, or being able to hide my emotions well. Both work.
Nami started giggling, held her hand against her mouth. Everyone else had gotten their laughs out earlier. "You want him to navigate for you?"
"Yup," I answered. "He's not too bad at it if you already know where he'll go."
"You know, that makes sense," Sanji said.
Luffy nodded sagely.
"I didn't even think about that earlier," Usopp said.
"Mmm, yeah, I haven't talked much about that stuff these past few days. Sorry about that. Laying all of this on you guys before we get there."
"It's fine, don't worry about it," Nami said. Everyone else agreed or responded with something similar.
"How are you ladies liking your breakfast?"
"Super good," I said.
"It's delicious!" Nami exclaimed.
I noticed that Zoro hadn't complained about me wanting to go with him on the island, which was nice. If he did, I'd still go with him but it might've been more complicated if he wasn't happy with it.
Nami and I both finished our breakfast and went to our room. She'd been kind enough to let me sleep on the couch while she took the hammock, which I imagined wasn't as cozy or warm.
"Grey or Blue?" she asked.
"Grey," I answered. "And thank you for everything, Nami. You've been super sweet to me ever since I got here."
"Don't worry about it," she said. "It's nice having another girl on board."
"Really? I've been quiet most of the time, processing stuff. Thinking."
"Which is completely understandable! Your situation is crazy and I can't imagine being in your position. I understand, mostly. Take all the time you need to process things. You gave me time."
There were moments here and there where Nami was still closed off, but for the most part, she was more comfortable around me. I was thankful for that.
"Thank you," I said, slipping on the tanktop she handed me. It was a light grey with white stripes across the left side with little anchors between every third line. The fabric was soft and comfortable, like all of the clothes she'd given to me.
"Anytime." She paused for a moment. "Hey, is that a tattoo?"
"Huh? Oh yeah, I haven't brought it up, have I? I haven't been thinking about it." On my right forearm was a tattered and burnt-looking ace of spades card, with Ace's hat resting on the spade. It was all in black and white, aside from a few embers on and around the card.
"It looks cool, what is it?"
"Kind of hard to explain without you already knowing. Um. Luffy has a brother, Ace. He's like, someone I sorta look up to. It's why I got this."
"That's sweet, and I didn't know Luffy had a brother. He's never mentioned it before," Nami said.
"Typical Luffy. He doesn't tell anyone anything," I said. "Just like someone else on this crew," I mumbled.
Nami let out a laugh, most likely having heard my not-so-subtle whisper. I smiled.
"You ready for a day in Crazytown?" I asked.
"Should I be worried?"
"Not too much."
She looked at me with a not-so-believing expression.
"Hey, what do you think about being able to control the weather?" I asked.
Her expression morphed into curiosity. "I wish."
"I'll keep that in mind. Anyway, I'm gonna go ask Usopp for a bag," I said.
"Why not get one from me?"
"I have a feeling you'll charge me for it," I said.
"Very good intuition."
I walked away with a smile on my face, off to ask Usopp for a bag, which he gave me with no issue. Even said I could keep it. The bag was practically identical to the one on his side, except it was a darker leather. Super pretty, super soft.
We were nearly at Loguetown, maybe fifteen minutes away. It was massive. The buildings felt impossibly tall, looking up at them. Back home, I'd only been out of my hometown a few times, and my memories of the trips were all fuzzy. The city—it really shouldn't be called a town—was beautiful. I stared until we were docked, and someone called for me to come off the ship. There was some idle chatter up until we got to the archway.
Sanji whistled. "This is where the great pirate era began, huh?"
"Yeah," I breathed out.
"I'm gonna go see where they kill people!" Luffy shouted, running off.
I went and stood by Zoro, who was looking around a bit. "Hey, uh, can I ask a favour?"
"What is it?"
"Can I hold onto your haramaki so I don't lose you?" I asked. "And don't touch me, please," I quickly added.
"Sure, and I haven't met anyone else who knows what it's called," Zoro mused. "I need to buy some swords."
"I can lend you some—" I cut Nami off.
"No! No no no," I shouted. "He doesn't need your money. He's fine. Zoro, walk away, now." He obliged, and we walked for a bit, and his legs were longer than mine so I practically had to jog to keep up with him. I kept almost tripping, so I looked down at the ground most of the time. The streets were made of a carved, swirled stone. They were elegant, mesmerizing.
"Looks like that monster isn't with you today!" some man shouted.
"Our boss is in jail thanks to you!" another yelled.
We stood in a crowd, looking on at Tashigi in front of two men. On the right was an obese man in need of a toupée, with the rest of his hair in braided pigtails. He had a sabre at his side, not yet drawn. The man on the left was tall, hunched over, and lanky. His face made me think someone decided to crossbreed an alligator with a baboon or something. It was weird.
"What? You wanna fight us?!" Pigtails yelled.
"All right, then!" Lanky shouted, pronouncing 'alright' as if it were two different words.
They shouted two more meaningless lines and Zoro began to draw his sword.
"Don't," I said.
Tashigi had hers drawn in a moment, her movements were fast enough that I barely realized it happened. Both men collapsed on the stone streets, bloody gashes across their chests.
"Crush her glasses," I whispered in Zoro's ear.
"No," he whisper-shouted at me.
Just then, Tashigi stumbled and fell in front of us. She frantically began searching for her glasses, mumbling something about them when Zoro crouched and picked up her pair.
"Are these yours?" he asked.
She glanced up at him, and Zoro's expression morphed into shock. Like he completely forgot everything I'd warned him about. He squeezed his hand, nearly breaking her glasses. When he loosened his grip, I could see a visible crack spiderwebbed across the left lens.
"Hey!" she shouted. "What'd you—I'm gonna have to replace that lens, now…"
"S-sorry!" Zoro stammered.
I leaned down slightly, "Want us to pay for it?"
"But we're broke," Zoro said.
"Miss, you're a marine right? Any job openings?"
"Yeah! I am. Our janitor actually quit this morning, so I could take you two in as replacements," She pulled her glasses from Zoro's hand and pulled them on.
I could imagine how uncomfortable that was, barely being able to see out of one eye. 'So glad I've never had to deal with that.'
"You'd hire both of us?" I asked.
"We can always use more hands!" Tashigi said with a smile.
"How soon can we start?" I asked. In my peripheral vision, I could see how Zoro looked a tad upset or uncomfortable. It was hard to tell with him.
"Today. I can lead the way!" She stood up, started walking away.
Zoro and I followed. "I'm Eira, that's my brother, Zane," I told her.
She turned back, still walking, to look at us. "I'm Tashigi. Brother and sister, huh? You two don't look alike."
Which was true. Our hair colours were practically opposites, he was kinda tan and I was basically Casper the Friendly Ghost. There were a bunch of other small differences, too. "Blood doesn't define family," I said.
"How long have you known each other?" she asked.
"I think I was nine or ten when I first saw him. So nearly half my life."
She nodded, seemingly content with the answer. She looked like she was about to ask something else, but nearly walked straight into someone. Tashigi walked a bit ahead of us, eyes forward, silent.
Loguetown was crowded. Loud. It took a lot of my attention to not walk into anyone.
"What's with my fake name?" Zoro whispered to me.
"She knows your real one. Can't risk getting caught."
"And using your own is fine?"
"You wanna think about that question a bit, bud?"
The rest of the walk was silent, outside of the sound of the crowd. Zoro was grumbling a slight bit, probably because of the situation I was leading him into, but hey, he agreed to it beforehand. Sort of. He never explicitly agreed to it, but he didn't object, either.
Tashigi led us into the marine base, pointing out a few of the rooms. Nothing too important. Break areas, office, stuff I tuned out. We got to the janitor's closet and she pulled out a matching set of buckets and mops.
Lovely.
"The job is pretty straightforward if you know how to clean. If you need anything or have any questions, your supervisor will be in later. Or you can just find me," she explained.
"Got it." I took a mop and bucket from her. "Thank you for this. I never thought we'd get jobs this easily. You're super nice, Tashigi!"
She smiled. It faltered a little, however, when she started to speak, "I wanted to ask—"
"Sergeant major! It's time for training!" someone shouted, cutting her off.
"Sorry, we'll talk later? I gotta go."
She ran off, leaving Zoro and me alone in the empty hall.
"You knew this would happen?" he asked.
"You already know," I said. "Now come on, we gotta find Smoker's office."
I tugged on his haramaki and we ran through the base, which was weirdly empty. Now that I thought about it, we hadn't really seen anyone other than the lonely chore boy walking between rooms.
"Who's Smoker?" Zoro asked as we ran.
"Marine captain. He's out right now so I think we're safe."
He left it at that, just a short grunt for a response. We ran through the base and up a few flights of stairs. It didn't take as long as I expected to find a door that looked like it could lead to the captain's office. Most of the other doors in this place were metal, plain. This one was wooden, with brass handles, and some sort of filigree carved around the trim. I pushed the doors open, and the sight made butterflies gather in my throat.
I let go of Zoro's haramaki and I ran forward, nearly crying.