A/N: My longest chapter so far. I don't have a pre written plan for this story. I write and come up with stuff as I go so bear with me in working through Hermione's trauma. Putting myself in her mind and shoes is hard. I can't imagine the pain she went though.

I hope you enjoy!!

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It's been two weeks since Hermione's first panic attack. Within that week, so much healing has begun. They knew it was going to be a long journey and many hard sessions, but it didn't make it any easier. Hermione was having a hard time opening up to Ron about Malfoy Manor, let alone a mental healer. She didn't like to appear vulnerable or in need of help. She just wanted to push it down and move on, but she knew that was 1) unhealthy and 2) just not possible. Not when she was with Ron who insisted she seek help. She was insanely grateful for him and knew that he just wanted her to be okay, but she couldn't handle this. It all was too much. She wasn't ready to deal with all of this. She wasn't ready to talk about what went through her mind as Bellatrix tortured her. She wasn't ready to talk about how scared she was that someone else would want revenge on her and do it again or worse, kill the people she loved.

Healer Strikes was Hermione's therapist she saw twice a week. They spent last week, the first week of sessions, talking through how Hermione was feeling now, in this present moment. She talked about how she felt okay during the day and at night she found herself feeling the pain all over again and sometimes it resulted in her not being able to breathe, but she never had a panic episode like that one night. She was able to reign it in more quickly.

She had a physical evaluation to make sure internally she was okay. She was cleared on that end, aside from the physical damage of the scar, but it didn't cause any permanent damage. She would just have to wait out the sharps of pain that come and go which is the result of the pain she is feeling every night. It would pass though and that bit of news warmed both Ron and Hermione. The results of the crucio did cause some scarring of her insides, but with some healing potions and remedies, they should heal and cause no future trauma. They can't know for sure though. It's hard to do tests and evaluations on the effects of crucio since most people die from it. Neville's parents and Hermione were the only ones known of that survived.

Hermione was sitting in Healer Strikes office. She was a bit zoned out due to not getting much sleep because of the nightmares from the night before. She was staring out the window when she heard a cough come from the Healer's chair.

"Hermione?"

"I'm so sorry.. Yes.. what did you ask?"

Healer Strikes gave a gentle smile. "I asked you how you were.. how you slept last night" She noticed how Hermione was pulling at the lose strings of her shirt. Hermione shifted in her seat and just stared at the healer.

"I.. um.. I had the nightmares again." She looked back out the window and watched the magically moving images they put there as a way to soothe the anxiety in patients. Or whatever the pamphlet said. It did help just a bit. Just a bit.

"Are they the same ones?"

"This was worse"

FLASHBACK TO LAST NIGHT

Ron was asleep in his bed when Hermione joined him after her shower. De-gnoming and playing quidditch all day with Ginny and Harry wore him out. He hadn't had much of a chance to talk to or spend time with Hermione so he really tried to stay awake. She was okay with it really. She loved watching him ease back into his life and it didn't make her feel so watched all the time. She just gave a soft smile as she climbed into bed beside him, putting the blanket over his legs.

She really did want to talk with him about his day and anything else that came up, but she was also happy to just ease into bed and maybe, hopefully, get a good nights sleep.

But the nightmares...

She had been asleep for maybe six minutes when the pain started back in her arm. She started seeing images of Bellatrix shouting and Ron running across the room. It went black and then she started to hear her mom and dad shouting for her. She could hear Bellatrix's screeching, horrid laughter as she shouted curse after curse at her body.

"Mom! Dad! Run please!!"

Bellatrix gave her a cold stare and turned around to look at her parents who were standing across the sitting room of Malfoy Manor tied together. Hermione felt her stomach in knots and a lump in her throat as she tried to get up and run to them.

"Filthy mudbloods!!"

Her parents piercing screams echoed through her mind. She felt every nerve in her body explode with fear. She tried screaming and nothing would come out. She was watching the dream from her spot on the floor at Malfoy Manor. She could see her dad trying untie them, but with each time he attempted, Bellatrix shot a curse at him. She kept trying to crawl across the floor to them, but she was stuck in one spot and for what felt like hours, probably only 10 minutes, Hermione watched as her parents were being tortured until she finally woke up.

She shot up, covered in sweat and for a second, she didn't know where she was at. She looked around to see Ron snoring lightly, Harry back in the camp bed which meant it was close to morning and he had returned from Ginny's room. She looked at the clock beneath the window and it read "6:45 am". She laid down with a quiet sigh and began silently sobbing so not to wake anyone.

FLASHBACK ENDED

"Let's talk about your parents.. the dreams used to just be recalling the memories of the incident, but lately, your parents are involved. You've explained to me briefly about their situation. Are you getting ready to go get them? Go find them?"

Hermione wasn't sure why asking about her parents seemed to be a trigger just now, but she felt overwhelmed and she wanted to brush away the question and move onto something else, but she could hear Ron's voice in her head telling her "it's okay.. just speak what's going on, Hermione.. don't keep it in" With a loud sigh that was supposed to help her gain her focus and breathe, she answered...

"I... I don't want to, okay? I-I''m scared to find them. What if I can't make them remember? What if they hate me? What if their life is better off without me in it? Ha... I already know it is. No wizarding world darkness or evil wizard wanting to kill them. What if... what if they are dead? What if the death eaters found them anyway?"

Hermione let out a shaky breathe and looked to the Healer. She was staring at Hermione with loving, patient eyes and she couldn't help, but be reminded of her own mother. She knew she was letting the anxiety get to her. She knew her mother, while yes being understandably upset, wouldn't hate her. She'd forgive her. She'd just be glad they are all safe, but what if she was wrong?

"Hermione.. I think it's time you go get your parents. I think you need to see them, see that they are okay. You need your parents in order to heal from all of this. I can't promise it'll be easy or that the anxiety won't come and go... It will. We'll have to figure out ways, healthy ways, for you to cope with the pain you are feeling, but you deserve to have your parents back. I know you are scared. There's so much weighing on you right now, but you aren't alone, you know that, right?

Hermione gave a small smile. Ron. Ron kept trying to get her to open up to him, but Hermione was scared about telling him she didn't want to get her family because of all the fears she just told Healer Strikes. She wasn't sure why she was scared to tell him, she just was. She felt so weak and broken. She didn't want Ron to see her that way. That's not who he feel in love with. He fell in love with "strong, confident, know it all Hermione." Not this fearful version.

Hermione has been pushing the date to go get her parents because she feared the unknown. Hermione was always prideful on her ability to know ahead of time, being able to plan everything and with this... finding her partners... it was all unknowing. She didn't know if she could restore their memories. She didn't know if they would forgive her. She just didn't know. And that scared her more than anything.

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It was around late noon that she arrive back at the Burrow. She had apparated onto the grounds right in the wards and she saw Ron poke his head out the window.

"Hermione!!" Ron came running at full speed and picked her up, swinging her in his arms. She was rather surprised by this greeting. She'd only been gone a few hours.

"Well hello to you too" She let out a laugh against his chest as he sat her down on the ground, not letting her go, giving her a slight kiss on the forehead.

"I just missed you.. I know... I'm a tit. You were gone for maybe 3 hours. I just... It felt weird not having you at breakfast. I've seen you every morning since right before the run.. I just missed you" He let out an embarrassed laugh, letting her go gently, scratching the back of his neck.

Her heart fluttered. She knew Ron really wanted to talk about therapy. She hadn't been fully open with him and he knew her saying she was "fine", was false. She was struggling and he wanted her to open up.

"Come on. Let's go get some food." Ron grabbed her hand gently, walking back towards the kitchen. "Harry and Ginny are out flying, mom and dad are visiting Bill and Fluer"

Hermione gave him a soft smile. This was the first time in a few weeks they had any time alone. Hermione wouldn't mind going up to his room and just snogging until everyone got home, but she knew Ron. He'd love that to, but he wanted to talk. He wanted her to open up. She would. He deserved honesty. It was just hard. Reliving Malfoy Manor will never be easy.

They entered the kitchen and Ron fixed them some sandwiches and grabbed some pumpkin juice from the fridge and set the table up while Hermione moved around to sit.

"So, how was therapy?" There it is. That question. Just be honest Hermione. Just let him take care of you.

"It was... brutal" Ron was walking back to the table and immediately dropped down beside her as she spoke the words. He gave a concerned face, but didn't say anything to give her time and space to speak. He placed his hand on her thigh to let him know he was listening.

"I'm scared, Ron. I'm terrified. I'm scared to leave the Burrow. Even going to therapy is hard sometimes. I know... Voldemort... is dead..." They both winced at the name. It'll never get easy to say that name. "But there are still death eaters out there, isn't there?" Hermione grabbed a hold of the cup of pumpkin juice so she could have something to do with her hands. She was starting to fidget. Ron noticed this and pulled her into his chest. She continued on.

"I'm scared that they'll want revenge on... her. I'm scared that they'll attack me again, that if I bring my parents back, they'll torture them... or worse, kill them. I kept trying to just be okay and smile through it all... I...I didn't want you to see me like this.. I just.."

Ron immediately sat his cup down and turned more towards her. "Hermione, you do not have to hide anything from me. I... I know you've been having nightmares. Sometimes when your thrashing around the bed, I just pull you closer to me and rub your back, hoping it's enough to bring you back. I know you're not okay and that's okay. Blimey Hermione, trying to tie yourself together with a smile isn't going to fixed that you were bloody tortured to almost the end of your life. You're traumatized. You don't have to endure this alone. I want to help you, but I want you to want me to help you..."

He stared lovingly into her eyes and she felt every wall and barrier she worked so hard to build up, fall down. She wasn't sure why she felt she needed to hide and run from her emotions, run from Ron, but she felt a weight lift off her shoulders at his words and she laid her head down on his shoulders. They sat in blissful silence, eating their sandwiches and just relished in their peaceful moment. It was Ron who broke the silence first by summoning their dirty dishes to the sink, cleaned up the table and extended his hand to Hermione to go up to his room.

"Come on.. let's go snog for a bit, huh?"

Hermione laughed at his abruptness and stood up, eagerly taking his hand and running upstairs like the young and in love couple they were. Everything would be okay. As long as they have each other.