Sweet letters for Hedric fans. Outside of the letters it is pretty angsty.
Likely 3-4 chapters to help clear my mind from other fics for a few hours so I can write better on them.
Thanks for reading.
Characters owned by that one init!
Pain. Guilt. Anguish. Longing. Regret. Dejected………………………..
Will this ever pass? Can I move on from this? Will the pain ever stop? I wish he had killed me!
After the worst year of his life, the year where he thought those around him could sink no lower. The year he made such a meaningful connection and now it was lost, gone, he was no more! Could he get over this? Did he want to get over this anymore? Should he just let the darkness consume him, in its unrelenting pursuit?
Did heartbreak always hurt like this? Surely a kiss from a Dementor would be merciful bliss at this point?
The boy got to his feet and took the two steps from his bed to the wardrobe, opening the door. It was the only place he had a mirror in his room. Looking back at him was bloodshot eyes, looking swollen from the hours spent crying. Thick black circles framing his lower lids, with dried sweat making his unruly hair stick to his forehead. The stupid lightning bolt scar was, burning, aching and a flaming red, after the monster sent nauseatingly disgusting images his way.
Why did no one since his mother and father, after paying the ultimate price, try to protect him from this lunatic? Why time after time was he offered up, like the lamb to the slaughter? If only he was stronger. If only he was less fucking noble. If only he left him in the maze. If only… if only he…… if only he thought………
*Thud* Harry was on the floor crying. Head pounding after the relentless pain, physical, emotional and psychological, he started to bang his head on the floor.
BANG, BANG. "Stop that banging boy or no food for a week" the fat whale of a man shouted through the wall. He got up and flopped onto his tiny bed in the fetal position. He wasn't producing tears anymore, probably too dehydrated. He sat on his knees looking out of the tiny window overlooking the garden below. Opening the window to let some cool night air on his face he saw Hedwig hunting around. At least she would always be by his side. He might not always be by hers though.
He hopped off the bed and padded over to his trunk. He pulled out two bundles of parchments, which had been loving secured, one with a yellow and black ribbon and the other we a red and gold ribbon. One of the bundles had been kindly handed to him by Mrs Diggory, whilst he was in the hospital wing. He wanted to die in that moment as she had kissed his cheek and squeezed his hand, before walking away.
He pulled the ribbon off and opened the first letter. If he was done he would go with the words of the boy he loved on his mind.
2nd November 1994
Dear Harry Potter,
It has been impossible to catch you on your own, so I am writing you this letter. I hope it finds you well and that you don't mind the impertinence?
Firstly I wanted to say I believe you, unequivocally, when you said you didn't put your name in the Goblet. Only a fool would look at you and think you like the attention that is relentlessly thrust upon you.
Second, I have of course heard about some of your, let's say "adventures", over your first 3 years at Hogwarts. If half of it is true you are a truly remarkable and also concerning the professors didn't do anything to safeguard you. Has anyone ever told you that?
I have often thought about asking you for a seekers game. I know you have your 2 friends but I hope you don't mind me saying you sometimes look so lonely? Are you lonely Harry? Don't feel you need to answer that as you have no reason to trust me I know.
If you want to study with me this year you only need ask. I am happy to help either with the task, or help with this year's classes or both!?!, as you will have less time because of the tournament.
I will finish on that note and I hope to hear back from you.
Yours sincerely
Cedric Diggor
The boy let the letter fall to his side. Would it have played out differently if he didn't reply? Was it starting this friendship that caused Cedric to die? Was he cursed for those he truly loved to be taken away from him? Resigned to a fate of solitude he picked up the red and gold tied bundle pulling out his first letter.
3rd November 1994
Dear Cedric
The letter found me well. I do not mind that you wrote to me. In fact it was very kind and I thank you for being so generous.
I am pleased you believe me. Sadly most of the school do not but I am used to this. I am glad you noticed I don't want the attention. It seems most people think I want it or crave it. Pfff.
Well I cannot say I have been called remarkable but I am just Harry. For the "adventures" you have heard about I always had help. Thank you for the kind words nevertheless, it did make me smile. I did break rules so it was my own fault, so I can't say the Professors are to blame…..
I would love to play a seekers game with you. Let me know when and where and I will be there. I don't mind you being direct or honest and yes I can feel lonely sometimes but I am sure most people do?
I would gratefully accept your help with studying or your help and advice on preparing for the tasks. That is very noble of you as we are meant to be competitors but if I manage to stay alive through this year, I doubt I will win.
Your new friend
Harry
He scoffed at his reply. The professors are cunts and useless. Cedric is fucking dead after they let yet another madman teach in that stupid post.
Thinking back he didn't deserve to be friends with Cedric. He should have ignored it. It may have saved him or maybe he wouldn't feel like his heart was dead in his chest. As clearly he was a masochist as he picked up the next letter from the yellow and black pile.
5th November 1994
To my friend Harry,
I am pleased we ran into each other a few days ago. I want to say again thank you for replying and as agreed I would enjoy writing to you from time to time, as I too really enjoyed your letter as you did mine.
I have double checked with Madam Hooch and we can use the pitch tomorrow as Sunday there is no friendly matches.
As we couldn't talk freely in the hall I wanted to answer your question. Yes it is normal to feel lonely at times but as long as it isn't frequent and it is not due to underlying depression or anxiety. We will talk more about it after we have done a few seekers' games.
I really hope you enjoy the rest of your Saturday and I will see tomorrow at 10am. Dress warmly and I do hope I get to ride your Firebolt? You lucky devil.
Your good friend
Cedric
P.S I am sorry about the badges and I hope you don't take it to heart. I personally think you smell nice.
His eyes were burning and he felt so tired. He recalled the seekers game. What a wonderful day he had. Cedric was a good flyer and had such an infectious laugh.
WAS. HAD. It hadn't been a week and Cedric was already in the past tense. Why did he fight so hard to survive? He already let Cedric die, so what would have been the problem with breaking his promise, to take his body back? If he had also died would they be together now?
Okay one more letter and try again for some sleep.
8th November 1994
To my good friend Cedric
You fly very well and I had so much fun. 4 games apiece? I think that is a good outcome. I know I promised to stop saying thank you after we got changed but I don't care. Thank you Cedric! You said thank you just as often for the use of my Firebolt! It is yours to use whenever you want.
I release as we did mostly flying we did really talk a great deal. So I thought I would ask you more about yourself.
What is your favourite subject? As you have now started N.E.W.T.s do you know what you want to do once you graduate? What was your motivation for entering the Triwizard tournament? Lastly did you grow up in the Magical World?
I hope you are enjoying your week so far? If you ever want to meet in the library or maybe have lunch let me know?
Lastly, again I promise I am not depressed but I thank you, for the advice you gave me Sunday.
With warm wishes
Harry
Flopping back on the bed the boy closed his eye and hoped sleep would find him. Or better still, that Death would find him.