A tight, but not too tight, hug later, Mamoru rushed to call the nurses, who came in the room and told the boy to stay outside. He took the chance to call up the team, tell them that Kazemaru had finally woken up. They all said they'd come as soon as they could, but he couldn't help but, maybe selfishly, wish they wouldn't.

He wanted to spend time alone with his best friend after so long, wanted to tell him everything he had missed, wanted to ask him the neverending amount of questions that had filled his mind all those days he'd been gone, and most of all wanted to make sure he was okay. And he just wanted to be alone, together.

He couldn't deny the team their right to see him, though, and he figured he could do that later, so he sucked it up, sitting on the chair in front of the door leading to Kazemaru's hospital room, waiting for the team to come by. And, slowly, they all did, mostly sitting down on the floor as there weren't enough chairs for all of them.

A nurse walked out of the room, followed by a few others who simply left. She, however, approached Mamoru with a soft smile. "Your friend appears to be in stable conditions. You may come in and talk to him, but make sure to be gentle."

They all collectively nodded, only to rush inside of the room, almost getting stuck within the doorframe several times. It drew a quiet chuckle out of Kazemaru's lips, who offered them all a comforting grin as they came closer. It didn't look genuine, though. There was something off, a hint of… fear?

Maybe they should have planned what to do when the boy finally woke up, because the team started loudly talking over one another, all too eager to ask their questions or fill him in on the latest whatevers. For as much as Kazemaru wanted to appreciate how much they seemed to have missed him, he couldn't help but lift his hands up to his ears, blocking them as a pained expression formed on his face, his eyes squeezing shut as if that would help the pounding headache that had only worsened with the noise.

"Guys!" Mamoru exclaimed, having to yell in order to be heard. It worked, as the chatter seemed to suddenly come to a halt. "The nurse told us to be gentle, remember?"

Quiet, agreeing murmurs filled the room, along with mumbled apologies. Mamoru looked back at the blue haired boy, his hands holding his and slowly dragging them off his ears. Kazemaru seemed to be shaking, and he couldn't exactly blame him. The situation must've been surreal to say the least, and definitely overwhelming. After all, he was unconscious all that time, this must've been sudden.

"How are you?" Gouenji was the first to speak up, not having taken part in the messy loud banter that had happened earlier. Everyone seemed to nod and agree with the question, though. It was a valid thing to start off with.

Kazemaru seemed to hesitate, lips parted as he tried to choose his words. "Well, I'm alive." He started, deciding that would be something he could say to buy himself time as he thought of what to say. Should he lie, say he's doing just fine? He imagined that would be an easy fabrication to call out, he couldn't imagine he looked okay. Then again, he'd never been used to asking for help, especially not regarding his health. He wasn't used to be heard anyway. "I'm doing as fine as someone who's in a hospital room can be."

It was a vague reply, it didn't actually say much and it didn't seem like a lie. He mentally gave himself a pair of thumbs up, deciding it was a believable fable. Truth is, he had been in a hospital room a few times before, and he had definitely felt better than he had now.

The team seemed to nod all at once, some frantically and some in a rather slow, understanding manner, but it was still a shared motion nonetheless. Kazemaru's hands were still being held by Mamoru, who had sat on the bed next to him.

The blue haired boy hesitated to speak up again, but the way his mouth opened shut everyone up from possibly asking anything else. He appreciated that. He had so much to say, and he wouldn't be able to handle being interrupted too soon.

"I'm sorry."

Almost everyone's jaws dropped, and even those whose mouth stayed in place looked confused. Out of all the things they expected their friend fresh out of a comatose state say, an apology wasn't even close to being on the list. Why would it be?

Kazemaru figured he should keep going, elaborate, so his teammates would stop looking at him like he'd just said the most outlandish thing in the world. "The last thing I would ever want is to worry you guys. I don't want to sound pretentious, I don't think you guys were desperate over me being gone for a few days or… I don't know how long I've been unconscious, but you all still came to visit me now and–"

"You were gone for more than three weeks." Mamoru explained, and the expression that formed on Kazemaru's face was something in-between horrified and mortified. "And we all were worried sick, yes, but that's not… you shouldn't apologize. That's just– Please don't. You didn't choose this."

At his last words, Kazemaru fell silent. Did he choose this? He didn't mean to fall into a coma, didn't mean for it to get this bad, didn't want to be hospitalized. He assumed he chose what led to it. He wasn't being forced by anyone not to eat, and yet. He would love to be able to blame the little voice in his head telling him he's never enough, that he must keep in shape or else he won't be as good as his teammates, that he's not working hard enough if he eats something, that he should be ashamed of himself. Then again, that sounds delusional.

He should be able to control his brain, to control his thoughts. The little voice in his head belongs to him, logically, and yet it doesn't. It almost feels like a different entity, some sort of parasite. He knows he should eat, he knows this is what could happen when he doesn't and that this is far from the worst case scenario, that he could die, but somehow hearing that annoying little voice is more terrifying than the thought of death, somehow.

But that little voice belongs to him, it's in his brain, and he can't blame it without sounding insane. They all probably already think he's insane, anyway, because he understands not eating is stupid, and they all likely agree. A quiet sigh left his lips as he spoke again.

"I'm not sure I didn't."