AN: Here it is. The story you have all been yearning for with your entire heart! xoxo jest on you
CHAPTER 1
When Jane discovered that Elizabeth had rejected a most deserving man and proposal, she could not help herself. She wrote him a letter. She wanted her sympathies to reach him, to make him feel better.
It was not entirely improper. She was his cousin. If only Mr. Collins were not away at Lucas Lodge, then she would only have to slide her letter beneath the door to his chambers. She might have even been able to give him her letter herself. Alas, he did not return at dinner, and she gave her letter to a servant boy to deliver. She hoped that what she had written would be a balm to him:
"Dear Sir,
I confess I am not in the habit of writing to unattached men. Yet when I heard of my sister Elizabeth's fierce refusal of you, I was compelled to seek my pen. Oh, Mr. Collins, you must not think ill of Lizzy! Though she carries herself with a wisdom and maturity beyond her years, she is, in truth, young and innocent, and must not truly comprehend what she has given up by rejecting a most honourable, deserving man such as yourself.
Indeed, in all of my years, I have never known a more appealing creature. Not even Mr. Bingley, whom my mother and many others believe me to like, has inspired such great admiration from me. I have begged you not to think ill of Lizzy, but most importantly, I beg you not to think ill of yourself . . . "
Jane blushed, willing herself to not remember more. She did not regret writing Mr. Collins a letter, but to an extent it did embarrass her.
She did not expect a response from him. After Lizzy had refused him, she would have understood if he wanted nothing to do with any of his female cousins. Yet a part of her hoped that he would recognise her. She truly thought that he was a man to be esteemed, and if he would esteem her in return, as she had always secretly wanted, she would no longer be affected by how quickly Mr. Bingley had left the neighbourhood—a fact which had hurt her vanity more so than her feelings.
Except for perhaps Mary, her sisters had never understood Mr. Collins the way she had. He was not a silly, stupid man. She was able to see devotion, kindness, and intellect in him. Through Lady Catherine and the church, he was dedicated, and through his books he was brighter than she could ever be. He had a large heart, and had sought to extend an olive branch to her family. He really was a good man, and she believed that her Lizzy had made a great mistake in refusing him.