She isn't sure how long she stares at the wall. She contemplates it's coloring; water is beginning to leak from one corner. It darkens the coloring on the wall, turning it into a sickly shade she cant identify. Her heart skips, the droplets holding what look to be strands of hair.
She shifts her gaze back to the window; if she doesn't look it isn't real. If she doesn't look it won't see her. Like the monsters of childhood, it won't do anything if she refuses to look.
Outside, it is raining again. Raining harder. She hears it flooding down in thick droplets. Hears it beating down onto the house with a terrible sound. It floods the pipes, and it's sliding down the sliding, sounding like nails on a chalkboard that only she can hear.
Miku remembers the rain, and remembers that bad things come from it.
Remembers the rain when Yuu had died.
Remembers the rain when her mother went crazy.
Remembers the rain when she thinks of her brother, lost to her.
She remembers rain, and thinks of death, because only bad things happen.
More water trickles in at the other corner, and Miku wonders why only she can notice. Wonders why Rei doesn't listen. Rain is death, drowning, and suffocation and sadness and why can't she see its raining again today? It's raining yesterday and today, tomorrow and thereafter. It's raining into puddles underneath her feet and soaking her shoes. It's raining again but she can't say anything because it's taken hold of her voice. Her throat is constricted with it, muffled.
When she sleeps there's a coldness in her bones, her body, and it freezes the rain that has collected into every ounce of her being.
It won't stop.
She has tried to claw it out, that thing on her wrist. That horrible itch that makes it rain again. It's causing it, but she can't hate it completely, because sometimes she can manage to see her brother and it makes everything more tolerable.
Above her the floors creak. Miku is never sure anymore; whether it is Rei or someone else. The floors are alive. Her cat hides in plain sight, but keeps her obvious distance. Her bright yellow eyes occasionally stare at Miku. Her furr expands and eyes lock onto the wrist that itches. It itches, itches, itches, hurts, itches, pain, feels like peeled flesh and Miku is afraid to look at it. She knows it's there and it takes all effort not to look. Afraid to see her skin peeling away in discoloration and the ink piled skin needling deeper down until it touches her bones. It's been climbing faster. One day she won't want to look, but just like everyone, she'll be forced to keep her eyes wide. In the meantime, the disease is there.
And it's not real if she doesn't look.
She floats to the sliding door and gazes out into the rain. Again. The trances consume her for so long she isn't sure she's real. Has she ever been real? Has she been lost since the mansion, dreaming in a half life of existence? She thinks she sees that little girl in the distance. She is trying to find her brother and help him, too. She understands that. She hopes the girl has a happier ending, even while knowing history has passed them both. She has been dead, but Miku truthfully doesn't feel too far off from that herself.
She hears more steps. Hears the floor beside her creak. She knows it's Rei, because the air isn't completely sour on her tongue. Rei is light, air, and despite the disease on her own body she can smell that she hasn't been taken.
"You've been tired lately, Rei. You should sleep."
She wants Rei to sleep so she doesn't drown. There's also nothing else to do, and being awake is worse than being in those dreams, sometimes. Because at least there they can pretend they're dreams.
Miku wanted to sleep herself, even though she walks in her sleep. She was always tired. Her eyes darted around the yard and she tried to ignore the black mass in the yard beginning to form. Water and hair are swirling along the grass like a mini whirlpool.
"Its raining again, Rei." Miku tries to sound urgent, but it comes off hollow. The hair grows. Inside it she can see letters, but she isn't sure what they mean.
She looks over. Down, at Rei's shoes and Shivers as water soaks the carpet beneath her feet. It's raining again. Her friend will drown.
Rei says something but she is frightened and numb all at once and it's too much. She looks up again, her mouth falling open, then clamping shut as she sees the water flowing in faster. The high ceiling is leaking, their home is suffocating. Miku can't react anymore. No one understands. No one can see the water spilling in like blood.
She catches Rei's eyes and whispers "Its raining again." Then looks outside but Rei still does not understand.
Her friend leaves to the red room, and Miku sluggishly climbs the stairs, the water pouring in. It's humid and it chokes her. She is panting when she reaches the top of the stairs and tries to ignore the feeling of water sloshing around her ankles. It's wet and feels awful, and she curls onto her bed. She always wakes lying down, but she falls to sleep hunched with her knees curled against her chest. If she tries to sleep with the rain she'll drown. She wants to cry, but the rain is pouring down, crying enough for her. She watches it slide in through the cracks of her ceiling.
Her room becomes different. The rain beginsto freeze. She's frozen, cold, but the ice stops the rain and even if it still chokes her at least she is temporarily saved from drowning. Miku can bear the heaviness of feeling like a statue, because it stifles the suffocation.
She feels a press against her side and whimpers.
"Its raining again." She whispers.
She knows it's that young handmaiden. The gentle one, saved from being touched by the sleep.
Yet she lingers, and Miku understands she is still here because of her own suffering. The little girl has been with her for awhile, now. Miki helps her, because she understands the pain of losing her brother. The young girl also helps her, reassures her and, Miku thinks, that she can temporarily hold the ink spreading under her skin at bay. She can't stop it, but she allows it to settle for a moment, and the pain to be just a bit more tolerable.
Rain is still seeping into her skin. It bleeds the tattoo and settles it. It's drowning her and everyone from the inside during the warmer weather. In the winter's, it freezes and becomes a new pain.
"It's raining again." She croaks.
Miku wants to cry, but she's so tired, and these words and their brothers are becoming all she can remember. Everything else is falling slowly away, crumbling like the snow slipping into the broken corners of this mansion.
She feels the weight press harder against her in reassurance, before shifting and sees the young shrine maiden drift down a corridor.
"Big brother is this way," She says, stopping to point.
They'll find their brothers.
They both will.
There's nothing else she can remember anymore. Miku gets to her feet, watching the snow blow in, and shivering when she catches some melting.
The young girl walks beside her. She won't stay long, and Miku cherishes this time of peace. She skirts the cracked wood, not wanting to collect anymore water inside her. She knows Rei is here, somewhere. Knows she is sleepwalking, and is slightly relieved because the house can't drown them in their dreams. The letters and sloshing feet are gone. They aren't safe, but they aren't drowning.
"Its raining again." Miku says idly.
The little girl hums in respond. She disappears. The tattoo flares, but Miku is too worried about the snow and water, and ignores the pressure to look at her wrist. The sounds of a Lullaby slip from beneath the floorboards. She sings along as she seeks out her next destination. Between the blurs of the place shifting she thinks she sees Rei. Miki sings louder, hoping it will reassure her friend.
The mansion takes her, and Miku tries to think again, but can't.
Her head is heavy and she doesn't feel real.
Between the wall spaces scrawled with words, she can only think of the rain.
She wonders if she should be alive.
She wonders if she is alive
Miki continues, trying to remember if she has ever even existed at all