AUTHOR NOTES:

So uh, I'm new to posting on , only ever bothering to read fics on here and never share my own. But uh, yeah so this site is very annoying when it comes to posting chapters. Note that I start with typing the chapter down on ao3, and then when I'm satisfied I copy/paste it to Wattpad and now I do the same on . BUT, the thing is, this site doesn't paste the "- - - -" thing or keep the spaces that mean that it's like a time skip or whatever. This is why it may be confusing for the people who've read since I first started uploading and didn't notice those mistakes. I fixed it right now, so yeah. Feel free to reread this story to understand what's going on better. Comment any mistakes I've made, thanks :')

Vi to me is a mystery.

At first, I was rightfully wary of him. Whether you can blame that on everything that went down this past week, or the fact that I and everyone else included knew next to nothing about the masked man- no boy.

So yeah, maybe I was being a bit too harsh on the kid with how untrusting I was of him. Or I was the only one who was actually taking the whole stranger-danger thing seriously. Either way, Vi is still a mystery. But then again, it's only been 2 days since we arrived at his place. I think back to the relief and satisfaction of being able to eat a full hot meal, then waking up the next day and there already being breakfast on the table. It was the closest thing to normal since everything went down. I was even able to have a shower once again in the morning, Vi giving everyone permission to use the bathroom as they like.

I was curious as to how he was able to have warm running water in the state of the world, but didn't bother to ask.

For once in my life, since everything started, I had a full stomach and my skin wasn't riddled with dirt and blood. The clothes I wore didn't stick to my skin because of my sweat or hold any rips in them thanks to the new clothes that were presented to us by our host.

Last but not least was the amount of space and privacy we were given. I was given my own room, it was of average size but compared to the RV or tents we were sleeping in before, it was perfect. It was also very spacious outside, there being a field where practice targets were set up, another spot where Vi said he started making a garden, and then there was a decent-sized pond filled with small fish off to the side.

When going outside and looking at everything, noting the large walls that block off the rest of the world, and then looking back at the faces of everyone I've come to care about looking much more relaxed. One word comes to mind.

Safe.

I feel safe here. Everyone else does too if you look closely. Heck, even though Daryl looks less on guard, T. Dog may still be mourning the loss of Jacqui but I can tell that with Dale and Glenn trying to cheer him up, he's also becoming more relaxed.

I think back to the night with Vi, mainly just me letting out the words that I've been dying to say to someone that would just listen. I compare that moment to the argument with Lori back at the camp and the way she continued to brush any of what I was saying away. I guess that how Vi was actually bothering to listen to me is what made me reevaluate how I thought of the boy. Maybe it was immature of me to only change my mind about the guy after venting to him, but I can't help the way I actually felt better after that one-sided conversation.

Maybe that change in heart was also why I was so adamant to drive, denying Rick's offers instead.

Glancing at the boy seated next to me for a split second, I look back to the road and clear my throat to get the other's attention. I'm confident in being able to talk with him without being interrupted because of the wall that blocks us from the others seated in the back. The door that connects us to their side is closed thankfully.

"That night... sorry for springing all that on ya, was tired and weren't thinkin' right" it's silent for a while.

"It's okay, I don't really mind... 'though you should really stop all this drama between you and Lori"

"How am I supposed to do that? She ignores me, says that I should stay away from her and Carl..." I'm frustrated at how he makes it sound so easy to just let go. I can't just pretend that what I and Lori had was just- nothing. The bond that started between me and Carl as well, how can I just let that go?

I hear the other sigh before saying "Then do just that. She's her own person and carl is her kid, I don't really care about your personal lives but if you're planning on staying with me then this whole thing is gonna create problems. And I'm pretty sure Rick has already caught on to the tension between you two" this makes me blink in horror.

"What?"

"No offense but you two aren't really... subtle, with the looks you give each other nor the way you two have been avoiding each other since Rick arrived"

I curse, clenching my hands around the steering wheel.

"So what, I just avoid the two and pretend that everything we had was just- nothing" I narrow my eyes angrily at the road, clenching my teeth. 'How could he talk as if... it's so simple'

"Yes. You do exactly that"

The immediate answer surprises me. He continues to speak with an even tone, emphasizing some of the words "unless you've forgotten, we're talking about your best friend's wife. Your best friend's kid. You've spent about two months with those two meanwhile Rick has spent years with the two. You don't get to be selfish here, your feelings don't matter right now because that is your best friend's family, not yours. Listen, what you had with them in my opinion was probably just your way of coping with how shit the world is now"

I'm speechless, not bothering to interrupt the boy as he continued to talk some sense into me.

"-everybody copes in their own way. You thought you saw your best friend die, limp at your side, not knowing what to do, then you find his family who is defenseless and still in mourning. You, who only had yourself, then attach yourself to them whether it was to keep some sense of stability or in some last favor to your friend who you thought died, really- only you can know for sure" He sighs "what I'm getting at is, you need to let go. Heal or whatever. You aren't alone now, they don't need you anymore, you may think you're just trying to protect them but you're only making this worse for both of you."

It's quiet between us for a few seconds.

"Listen to me or don't, just know that whatever you choose will be what affects your future. I'm just offering my opinion is all"

I try and not to roll my eyes at the end, he really just dropped some therapy-type shit then says that's just his opinion. He honestly seems like he doesn't really care about what I do unless it causes him problems.

Hearing all that being said to me, I can't help but maybe think he's right. He didn't say it harshly, he just said it like it was just the plain truth. He didn't try sugar-coating it, didn't bother to reassure me or tell me sweet lies. He just laid out my options and told me indirectly that I'm responsible for my own decisions.

"I... I'll think about it," I say after a few minutes of silence. My voice must have surprised him out of whatever he was thinking about so deeply because he jolts a bit in his seat.

He doesn't say anything in response, but I think that he may have just nodded. He does that a lot.

The rest of the ride is spent in silence until it gets dark and we have to park at the side of the road. It's not a good idea to travel in the dark. Looking back at Vi, I notice him getting read to get up.

"You going to get somethin' to eat?" I ask. He shakes his head.

"I'm gonna go on the first watch today, I already packed some food in my bag so I'll eat some while up there," He says while reaching for his bag beside him. I nod and stop him before he reaches the door, hand on his shoulder which I immediately take off when I notice the way he tenses under the touch.

"Uh, I'll take the second watch. Wake me up 'kay" he nods and I slump down in my seat and let out a deep breath that I didn't realize I was holding until the masked man leaves.

'Talking with him gives me grey hair, I swear...'

Talking with Shane was an experience. The kind that I would prefer to never have again. Giving a grown-ass man a therapy session isn't exactly what I signed up for when I decided on this lil road trip, but if Shane ends up doing well after this and his little obsessive behavior with the Grime family blows over, then I can check him off my list. Emphasizing the if.

Making my way up the roof, I then spot a figure already up there. 'I swear if this person starts venting to me-'

"Oh! Hey Vi! What are you doing up here?" Andrea says with a welcoming smile. My face grimaces at the way she beams at me, knowing that we're definitely going to be talking for a while.

"I thought that I'd go on watch first..."

"Oh, that's not needed, I can take first watch" she smiles reassuringly at me, but I don't budge from my position. I would actually rather take the first watch.

"No, you can go and get something to eat, I would actually prefer to be on the first watch"

"No no no, like I said I can take first watch! You can take second if you want?"

"Shane said he'd do second"

"Then third?"

"No thank you, I would like to go first"

I was dead set on getting the first watch, and sure I could just take my own advice that I gave Shane not long ago and let it go and just take the third watch, but a somewhat childish urge in me said I got dibs on the first watch.

She seemed to frown before smiling as if an idea popped up in her head.

She gets up and says "okay" before making her way down. I just blink before shrugging. 'Not my problem'.

Only 5 minutes later does she return, holding snacks and some canned drinks. I give her a deadpan stare. She motions for me to help myself with the items before taking a seat next to me. I resist the urge to sigh and just tell her to get lost.

"Hey, do you mind if I ask you something?"

I take a sip of my drink, looking away from her so she doesn't see my face "depends on what it is"

"Nothing bad or personal... just wondering why you included me in the list to y'know, come with you all" I raise a brow, but start to think over how I should reply. 'Telling her it was because she was one of the people I didn't trust would probably be a bad idea...'

But then I remembered that I don't have to tell her shit.

"I don't know, just did," I tell her plainly, not paying her face full of incredulity any mind.

"Wow, okay." she seems to huff at the lack of answer, before opening a can for herself and taking a long chug out of it. I watch her in amusement, in my mind I'm chanting ' chug chug chug' which reminds me of the days I worked in the bar. Although I grew up in a shitty neighborhood, there were those moments that I cherished. Moments that I was filled with joy, a smile stretched upon my face.

"I just... you know, you chose me among all the other guys who are useful in their own way. They all are experienced in this type of stuff, always out there fighting walkers..."

the mention of what they call the zombies makes me rethink the title I gave them myself. Walker is a simple name, but it also sounds cooler compared to saying zombies which weren't very popular among people and so it makes sense that they wouldn't call them that. I don't think I would be willing to explain why I call them zombies, because that would make me out as some geek that reads way too many fantasy books.

So walkers it is.

"-I mean... although I don't know the actual reason you picked me, the point still stands that you chose me. I, who still can't aim really well, still get scared of walkers popping up in front of me... I'm just glad that I was included in whatever we're doing out here because I'm honestly tired of the laundry, cooking, and dishes... I want to do something more like the other guys" she says with determination burning in her eyes.

I just blink at her throughout her whole speech, nibbling on the jerky that I slipped under my mask.

"I just want to be useful and prevent anyone else from dying... I know I said this before but thank you for saving my sister. I don't think I would have known what to do if I lost her" she seems to choke out her words at the end. I suddenly feel deja vu, with me being silent while an adult is on the verge of breaking down next to me.

"It's no problem... and you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Nobody really expected there to suddenly be walking corpses out to eat people. Not your fault or anybody else's for not knowing how to use a gun or defend themselves in this kind of situation." I take a bite out of my jerky again "the only reason I'm capable of surviving on my own is cause' where I was brought up, I had to learn how to use a gun. To defend myself."

She looks back at me in surprise and with slight curiosity.

"Oh... did you ever uh, lose anybody close to you?" I stop to think. She must notice the sudden lack of movement because she immediately continues.

"You don't have to answer that- sorry"

"I've lost people I guess. We weren't as close as you and Amy or Rick and his family though. We were just friends."

"...What about your parents? Or any siblings?..."

"Imma orphan, as far as I know, I don't get no siblings" her eyes widen before they sadden.

"Oh... I'm sorry"

I just hum, not really caring about how somber the mood is now. I turn away and take a sip of my beverage. I then look up at the darkening sky, almost pitch black by now.

I don't bother to clear the mood, just looking about the clearing and watching for any zombi- walkers. As I should be doing while on watch, not talking. Andrea seems to notice the silent dismissal and makes a motion to leave.

"Thanks for... talking with me Vi." she smiles at me before heading back down.

This leaves me to give a moment to go over my thoughts while still letting my eyes roam the place for any walkers.

I have nothing against Andrea. Although how welcoming and kind she acts toward me ever since I saved her sister is weird, she honestly seems genuine in how she acts. I feel like I was right about Shane and Andrea being alike. They both seem to want what's best for their loved ones, but seem to be the types that go about it the wrong way. While Shane has become pretty unstable, with the people that anchored him to stay in his right mind not needing him anymore, and then there's Andrea seems so easy to manipulate and then break.

I believe she was right when she said she wouldn't know what to do if she lost Amy, I can see her losing all motivation in living, trying to cope by making herself useful. Putting herself in dangerous situations while trying to prove herself. Trying to do things that she thinks will keep everybody safe but end up doing the opposite.

I feel like a therapist when I start going over these people's personalities in my head, although I've never personally had one.

When I deem my watch over, I make my way down to get Shane. When I come down, I come across Daryl sitting outside. He seems to be just watching the sky until he notices me and calls out for me.

"Vi!"

"Yes?" I ask, stopping midway through entering the RV.

"Come over here, I ain't gonna shout to talk to ya" I push back the urge to snort and just continue to stand there to egg the man on, and make my way towards the red neck.

"There something you need?"

"Just wonderin' what your plan is out here" he fidgets with his crossbow while talking. "Know you said it's confidential or whatever, but I really don't care. I'm not gonna die out here 'cause you decided you wanna stay all private and shit."

I don't know how I should reply to that. He has a point, they have just as much of a right to be untrusting of me as I am of them. So I might as well be honest.

"I wanna see whether I can find see if the men, that I mentioned earlier today, have some sort of base or something. Wanna get some information on them and measure just how large a threat they are. Some other things as well, but that's all I'm willing to tell" he stares at me for a while with a narrowed gaze, before sneering at me and turning back to his crossbow.

"Whatever" I take that as permission to leave, making my way to do what I was planning on doing before I was stopped.

'Dude gives me chills with his stare' I think to myself, secretly unnerved by the other man. He's cool, but I would not want to get on his bad side.

The next morning I woke up early at around 4 am. I was sitting in my seat at the front, sleeping upright with my head leaning against the door when a sudden movement next to me jolted me out of my dreams.

Immediately on guard, my left-hand moves to the knife at my hip, and I look up to only blink in slight surprise.

"Rick?" I say, voice tired because I just woke up. He looks sheepish, his eyes glancing nervously at the placement of my left hand. I make a show of moving my hand away from my knife, bringing it to my lap to reassure him.

I then slouch a bit as I blink lazily at the man.

"Was there something you needed?" Because of how tired I am, I don't realize just how different my voice sounds compared to the previous day and every other time I talked to them.

"I was coming back in after my watch after switching with T. Dog, but I uh, noticed you didn't have a blanket..." Now that he mentions it, I suddenly notice the object he's holding, which is a furry brown blanket. 'Looks soft' I think, my hands twitching, trying to hold back the urge of just snatching the thing out of his hands.

"You can still have it if you want? Although you're awake now uh" he seems to not know what to say, it being a bit awkward between us. We've never really talked one on one without there being somebody else around.

"I'll take the blanket, thanks, 'though I don't think I'm gonna be going back to sleep anytime soon." he seems to be upset at himself for waking me up, but makes a move to hand the blanket over, which I immediately take and wrap around me. I give a quiet sigh in satisfaction, my form relaxing in the soft fabric.

I then look to the side and notice that the man is still standing there. Not knowing what he wants, I ask.

"There anything else?"

"No no no, sorry..." he continues to stand there for a few seconds more before finally making a move to leave, which I decide to stop because I finally realize why he stayed for so long.

"You can sit here if you want, Shane ain't gonna be back anytime soon." he turns back in surprise, before clearing his throat.

"Thank you, I'd love to stay here..." he sits in the driver's seat and then completes silence.

I roll my eyes, knowing that he wanted to talk about something but is still working up the courage to say it. 'I'm talking with these people way more than I thought I would'

"Look, I don't know if you realize this but I am deeply thankful for everything you've done for us" I listen to him, noting that this is the second time I was thanked since this road trip began. Which was only yesterday.

"-and I just, really think that this could be the chance for me and everyone else to get a chance of surviving... we've already lost so much and I just, this may be selfish of me, but I want Carl to live to grow old, marry, and get kids of his own" I nod, hands running over the furry fabric wrapped around me, while silently thoughts were running through my head. I continue to listen to the man while also thinking about something else.

"I just know that that place you made livable and blocked out from the horrors out here is special. So I really hope that by the end of this week, you'll let us stay."

I hum, and lay back in my seat.

"You're a good man Rick" this gets him off guard and he just awkwardly nods, not knowing where this is going.

"That would be great and everything, but I think you need to realize that the world we're in now will eat people like you alive." he seems confused so I go ahead and explain.

"Now that there's no rules or government to keep everyone in line, there are gonna be up-and-coming groups. People that are messed up in the head. And one day you're going to have to choose between protecting the ones you love or killing another human being." he looks at me harshly.

"We do not kill the living"

"And what happens once they try and kill you?" his mouth opens to retort "-Or Lori? Or Carl? Or anybody else in your group" he shuts his mouth at the mention of his family, not knowing how to respond.

"The fact in the matter is, there will be people who will be just as much of a threat than walkers are. With the world now gone to shit, people of all kinds that escaped mental institutions or jail are going to be roaming the world with nothing holding them back." I cock my head at him, eyes staring into his troubled face.

"One of the reasons I brought you on this trip was to see if you are going to be a liability once the time comes that we have to kill a person... or if you will finally accept that things like morals" his face is grim.

"-don't matter."

"By the end of this week, I need to know. Are you willing to take another human's life if it means protecting one of your own?" he doesn't reply.

We sit there in silence, him looking down at his lap with his face contorted in a dazed expression. I don't mind the quiet and lean against the door, closing my eyes but not falling asleep.

'Whether he accepts it as it is or he doesn't. It's his choice'