Chapter Summary
Rex, Ashoka and Fives cope with the loss of Echo
Chapter Notes
Not every chapter of this has an accompanying song but for this one I had Hoziers It Will Come Back in mind as I wrote it. I really feel like how Hozier sings about his lover in a few different songs is how Rex is feeling about his Commander.
/GgWOJIC6Kp8
Rex gave up on trying to get back to sleep. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Echos cracked and burned helmet rolling across the platform. Logically he knew that he wasn't responsible, that just because he had hand picked Echo for the mission to the Citadel didn't mean he was the cause of his death, but knowing that and believing it were two very different things.
To make matters even worse he had died trying to save that nerfherder Admiral Tarkin who clearly didn't see them as human beings with personalities.
Rex and his men had done what they had to do but it still stung to take orders and lose lives for someone like that. Poor Fives had the worst of it though. All clones shared a certain bond but there were few he knew that had been as close as Fives and Echo had been. His heart ached for his brother up in the infirmary who would have to heal from this both physically and emotionally. Since sleep clearly was going to evade him he decided to go and sit with his brother for a while. He should still be unconscious but even then he shouldn't be alone.
As Rex opened the door to the medical bay he was surprised to see a figure at the side of Five's bed. Commander Tano perched cross legged on the edge of a chair, with one of Five's hands clutched tightly in both of hers. Her head was upright and her eyes were closed, it looked almost as if she was meditating.
"Hello Captain, you couldn't sleep either?" She asked without opening her eyes
"How'd you know this time? My footsteps or the force?"
"Both, I sensed your turmoil all the way down the hall but I wasn't sure if it was you or Coric until you got closer."
She finally looked at him as he sank into a chair on the other side of the bed, but still didn't release her hold on the injured clones hands.
"So what are you doing here so late little'un? And should I be concerned about this? Is there something going on here that I should be aware of?"
Gesturing towards their joined hands. He kept his voice steady but his heart had clenched painfully when he realized that he may not be the only soldier in the 501st with a special attachment to their commander... He thought back to all of times he had seen her laugh at Five's jokes or the few times he had caught his ARC Trooper looking at her a little too long when he thought no one was watching, but he had never made the connection. How stupid he must have been, too distracted with his own fantasies... His downward spiral was interrupted by her scandalized tone as she said
"Oh no it's nothing like that, Fives is like a brother to me. I'm practicing my force healing. I can't do anything too specific or fancy yet but I can share his pain and my strength through the force. I don't know how much good it's actually doing but I have to try, especially since Echo is, since he's-."
She was unable to finish her sentence as she began to cry. Rex reached his hand out to comfort her but thought better of it. He really was an idiot, even more so than he was just thinking. He should be worried about his vod not his own stupid jealousy.
"That is incredibly generous of you but you had a rough mission as well, How do you make sure you don't give too much and hurt yourself? How does it work anyway? What does it feel like? Should I leave and let you concentrate?"
She chuckled as she wiped her tears away,
"Oh please stay! I didn't realize you were so interested in the kind of thing, but I'll try to answer all of those. First off, physically I'm fine just a bit sore so I've got plenty of strength to spare. I've definitely been better emotionally but I have to do something to help him Rex, I know I'm supposed to be above all that kind of stuff according to my training but whenever I try to sleep I keep hearing Fives cry for Echo and Sobeck dropping as I killed him. I know that I had to, and I'd do it again but there is something so different about killing an individual..."
Her shoulders began to shake as her tears returned in earnest. Rex cursed himself as he realized that this was her first organic kill. Standing quickly he came around the bed to put a hand on her shoulder, instead she threw her arms around his waist and began to sob. He stiffened but after a bit of an internal struggle he came to the conclusion that there was no polite way out of this so he settled on gently patting her rear Lekku, hoping that it was comforting.
He had no idea how long they stayed in the strange embrace but after what felt simultaneously like an instant and eternity to Rex she pulled back, stood up and looked him in the eyes, seeming a bit surprised to realize that he had been crying as well.
She lifted her hand to his face but seemed to think better of it and instead rested it on his shoulder.
"Thank you Rex, you're always so good to me. I hadn't realized how much I needed that. I'm sorry for dumping more on you than I'm sure you were anticipating and I apologize if I put you in an uncomfortable position, we togrutas are a very physical species and there really isn't much room for any nonviolent touch in the Jedi order so I've been missing it badly but that doesn't give me an excuse-" she was rambling now
"Ahsoka" she stopped, taken aback by his use of her first name
"When I said I would have your back like you have mine I meant everywhere, not just in a firefight. We're a team and I will support you wherever you need it."
This time she did bring her hand up to cup his cheek, wiping away one of his tears
"Rexter I need you to promise me that you'll not take any unnecessary risks, because I don't know what I would do here without my best friend."
There was a charged silence between them with Rex hardly daring to breathe. She cleared her throat and continued
"Back to your questions, it's hard to describe how it feels but if you trust me I'll show you."
After he nodded she brought her other hand up to his cheek and he swore his heart was going to stop but she instead just guided his forehead down to meet hers
"Close your eyes and try to relax"
As if that was going to be possible when she was giving him a Keldabe kiss he scoffed to himself, she probably didn't know the significance in Mandolorian culture but the gesture still woke the butterflies in his stomach. As she shared her connection with the force he was quickly overwhelmed by the warmth and light he felt envelope him.
In his minds eye he became aware of the fiery golden glow of Ahsokas presence, full of love and compassion, and of the much fainter presence of Fives. The primary emotion coming off of him was sorrow. Reaching out with his mind Rex found Denal in the force asleep in his adjoining quarters and further down he could sense where all of his men were. This was fascinating!
He had expected a tiny boost in energy, not to feel connected through the force to everyone on the ship. Ahsoka gasped and took a step back from him looking flushed
"How did you?"
She started and stopped herself,
"Well you know that's probably my limit on what I can safely give. Goodnight Captain."
Before he even had a chance to reply she was heading out the door, throwing a concerned look over her shoulder.
She stopped to gather herself a few feet down the hall, hoping he wasn't going to come after her. She raised a shaking hand in front her face to examine it. Sure she had been sharing her energy but it shouldn't have had that extreme of a reaction.
She had felt her awareness of everyone aboard the Resolute spread through the force and was overwhelmed by the blazing blue presence of Rex in her minds eye. What scared her now however, was the even after severing the connection she could still feel him in the back of her mind.
It was a warm comforting presence that felt eerily similar to her connection with Anakin. She didn't know how force bonds were made, or if it was even possible with someone who wasn't force sensitive, but she hoped it wasn't this easy or they were both going to be in serious trouble.
Closing her eyes she felt around her mind to see if she could still feel Fives in the same way but came up empty. So it wasn't just created by connecting through the force, maybe it was because of her close friendship with the Captain? Or maybe he was force sensitive. Some would say that it was impossible to have a force sensitive clone, but if the force was available to every being with a soul than statically there must have been a few clones in tune with it.
She shuddered as she thought about the political nightmare that would occur if anyone found out about Rex's abilities. While she would be thrilled to have him at her side as a Jedi she wasn't so naïve as to think that everyone would be happy about it. Potentially including Rex himself. Resolving to check more into this next time she was at the Jedi Temple library she hurried off to bed.
Rex sank into the newly vacated chair, unsure if the warmth he felt was leftover from the force or if he was just blushing. There was a lot to process from that interaction but if he was being honest with himself, it might be wiser to just shove this whole experience deep down and pretend it never happened.
There was nothing positive that could come from remembering how it felt to have her warm breath mere inches from his lips, or the fire that burned through him as they connected in the force. Although, now that he thought about it, that feeling actually wasn't gone, it had just receded to a corner of his mind. Was that a normal part of force healing? He wanted to ask Fives if he had felt it too but what if he didn't have the same experience? He definitely didn't want anyone to know the depth of his connection with his CO... lost in thought he didn't notice Fives sit up.
"I saw that"
"Ah osik, you scared me!"
Coughing to try and regain some composure he tried again
"I uh I have no idea what you're talking about soldier. You must have been dreaming about whatever you think you saw"
The blush had definitely spread to his face by now, Fives snorted derisively
"Nah mate, when I'm dreaming about Commander Tano being up close and personal with a clone, we're alone and I'm not injured."
Seeing the Captains face darken and fists clench he laughed and put his hands up defensively
"Relax Vod, I'm just messing with you, I would never disrespect the commander like that, besides everyone knows you only have eyes for each other." Rex spluttered,
"I don't know what, everyone! There's nothing to. That's actually worse what do you mean everyone!"
Taking a deep breath he stopped rambling and tried to gather his thoughts. When he spoke again only the slight redness on his ears betrayed his composure.
"There is nothing untoward between Commander Tano and myself, she was simply showing me how she has been using the force to help heal you."
"That was her? I was so warm and comfortable and I only woke up when that feeling receded. That's when I saw you with your foreheads together looking very cozy."
He paused to bounce his eyebrows suggestively
"But if you say there's nothing then what do I know. That is interesting that one of the Jedi would make the effort to help a disposable clone."
His voice turned bitter as he continued
"Tarkin didn't even bother to learn his name. He didn't bother to learn the names of any of the brothers that died to save his rotten skin."
Criticism of a higher up was close to treason but in this case he agreed
"I know Fives, I know. Not all leaders are created equal and we're lucky to serve under those who genuinely care about us as individuals. Go back to sleep now vod, I'm here with you until the end."
"Thank you Rex, you know I really don't blame you for those feelings you claim you don't have, she is magnificent."
With that he closed his eyes and dropped off to sleep.
Deciding to follow suit Rex climbed into the neighboring bed and fell asleep with a small smile on his face