Author Notes - Somehow, I have a feeling the title of this chapter is making you sing... that one song. That one absolutely amazing and brilliant song. And I do not apologise for all the people screaming 'GOD DAMNIT IT'S IN MY HEAD AGAIN!' at this moment.

Regardless, this is probably the dumbest chapter in this story. You'll find out why soon enough. How does that tag on AO3 go again? Oh yeah... THE AUTHOR REGRETS NOTHING!

CHAPTER EIGHT - WE DON'T TALK ABOUT LUCY!

Lola stared at him with wide eyes and pinprick pupils, as though he had just threatened to blow up her princess castle. Only she could give Lincoln so many shivers with just a stare alone.

'See what you've done?!' She shrieked (Luna could be heard screaming in the background). 'NOW I'M THUNDERING!'

'Me?!' Lincoln said, motioning to himself. 'What did I do?! I didn't tell Lana to do anything to you, alright? It isn't my fault if she wants to send a crocodile after your-'

'SHE TOLD ME YOU WENT INTO THE FORBIDDEN ROOM!'

Lincoln just sighed, and tried to ignore her presence so he could focus on his little 'puzzle'. Unfortunately, the constant thundering above Lola's head didn't help him out at all.

'LOOK AT ME, LINCOLN!' She yelled, her temper accentuated by a thunderclap.

The boy turned around and groaned. 'What's even the big deal with Lucy anyway? I remember her being kinda scary, but-'

The door slammed open again. Lincoln couldn't even remember it being closed, but he supposed Ruidosa wanted to keep the discussion between him and Lola private. This time, it was Lana (covered in a bit more frost now) who burst through the door.

'It was a nightmare!' She yelled, picking her hat off from the floor. 'For Lola, of course. I was just kinda there, honestly.'

'How?!' Lincoln demanded. 'I remember when she left. You guys didn't even have your gifts yet! What could she have possibly done to you?'

'Well…' Lana said, sounding like she was recounting a regular Tuesday. 'It was Lola's first pageant, and she only got her gift a couple weeks before, when we found an old Lucy vision in the bin. It mentioned something about a pageant and rain and-'

Lola immediately shoved Lana away, refusing to hear another word about that fateful day, before turning back to Lincoln and getting up in his face. And then she proceeded to do the last thing that Lincoln was expecting her to do.

'We don't talk about Lucy, see, see, see!' She sang.

Lincoln's jaw dropped. Yes, you read that right: 'sang'. Because what kind of story would this be without a catchy as heck song that ends up on the billboard top 100 for a few weeks? Even more impressive was how well Lola managed to sing it; you don't get into pageants without a killer singing voice.

'We don't talk about Lu-ceeeee!'

And now Lincoln was just confused. Of note was that Lola was singing without any backing track of any sort, meaning she was singing in the middle of total silence. So, she had simply stopped after this line, considering the long dramatic pause.

'Uh…' Lincoln said. 'Is that it, or-?'

'BUT!'

With that single word, Lincoln had a feeling he was going to hear a lot about a girl they supposedly weren't supposed to talk about. To make it more dramatic, Lola climbed onto the spare bed and struck a dramatic pose. Ruidosa pushed one of its lights out of the wall and aimed it right at her, giving her a spotlight to go alongside her 'stage'.

'It was a pageant day…'

Lincoln opened his mouth to ask what the heck was going on, before he got interrupted by the only other thing he was least expecting: Lana joined in on the song, copying Lola's flow but with a lower note.

'It was her pageant day…'

'Why are you singing now?!' Lincoln demanded, to no avail.

She didn't even bother getting onto the 'stage', though Lola gave her a nasty glare all the same.

'I was getting ready,' Lola continued. 'And there wasn't a cloud in the sky.'

Lana then got in Lincoln's face, waving her finger around. 'No clouds allowed in the sky!'

Lola's glare towards her got a little more intense. Lincoln, meanwhile, threw up his arms and tried to continue working on his little project. How he was going to be able to read it through the singing in the room was yet to be seen.

The princessy twin didn't care that he wasn't listening and continued anyway, putting her arms up like a scary monster. 'Lucy walks in with a mischievous grin.'

Lincoln lifted his head up from his work. 'Wait, that doesn't… you told me that she was already gone and-'

'THUUUNDEEEEER!' Lana yelled, spreading her arms out like a god.

Lola growled through her teeth, hopped off her stage (with the spotlights following her), and yanked Lana by the collar of her shirt. The tomboyish twin looked only slightly alarmed, even with Lola glaring right into her soul.

'Are you telling this story or am I?!' She shouted.

She let go of Lana's shirt and crossed her arms, giving her a stink eye. Lana just put her hands up and backed away casually, as though she wasn't just given an implicit threat.

'I'm sorry, Lola.' She said, her tone indicating she didn't really mean it. 'You're modifying the story anyway. Gooo on.'

Lola grinned, and hopped back onto her little stage. 'Lucy says it looks like rain.'

Lincoln opened his mouth to say 'well, her vision did', but Lana immediately cut him off.

'Why did she tell us?'

Lana climbed up onto the stage as well, though she stayed behind Lola and well out of the spotlight. While Lola stayed in the spotlight and struck dramatic poses like she was in a fully-staged musical, Lana danced all around her like a one-woman ensemble. Lincoln couldn't help thinking about her going into performances too, since she'd probably be good at it if she pursued it, but that wasn't where her goals lied so whatever.

'In doing so she floods my brain.'

'Lincoln, get the umbrellas!'

Lola's little cloud had grown in size, just a bit, and was now drizzling all over the both of them. The various objects began to move out of place and flutter about in an increasingly-fast wind that was picking up. Lincoln backed away and grabbed onto the table for dear life, in case something went horribly wrong.

'Pageants in a hurricane!'

'She won the day but anyway…'

Lincoln cocked an eyebrow. So, even after one of she-who-can't-be-named's visions supposedly caused a hurricane during a pageant, Lola managed to win? Lola had brought on a hurricane and then managed to win?

'Wait, you won?!' He said. 'Then why are you-?'

Without answering his question, Lana and Lola hopped down from the stage and stepped towards Lincoln as a duo, even managing to sync up their steps. It was almost as if perfect syncing was part of their gifts.

'We don't talk about Lucy, see see see!' They sang at once, mixing their vocals surprisingly well. 'We don't talk about Lu-ceeeeeee!'

'Okay!' Lincoln yelled. 'If you're done with your random musical number, I'd like to- AH!'

Someone had walked into his room without knocking on the door first (or their knocking had been drowned out by the singing), and Lincoln found himself getting pulled out onto the hallway balcony. When he recovered from his minor whiplash, he found himself face-to-face with Luna. And, well, I'm sure you can guess what she did.

'Grew to live in fear of Lucy stuttering and stumbling.' She sang, her voice coming out in a rapid-fire whisper. 'I can always hear her sort of muttering and mumbling.'

She held her hand to her ear and leaned towards the wall, cringing slightly as she did so.

'Alright, it makes more sense if you're singing,' Lincoln said. 'But it's still a little-'

'I associate her with the sound of digging dirt.' She continued, before gently mimicking the sound of doing so, best described as 'psh psh psh'.

Lincoln wasn't exactly in the mood for more singing, so he turned around to head back to his room. He didn't make it far, for Luna grabbed onto his wrist again and flung him so much that he nearly went flying off the balcony.

'It's a heavy lift, with a gift so humbling. Always left Rita and the family fumbling…'

'Why are you-?' Lincoln tried to ask.

'Grappling with prophecies that only brought them hurt…'

Lincoln noted her voice as she sang. Typically, even during her quieter songs, her voice was big and bombastic, suiting her preferred genre of rock. With this little verse, however, she sounded kinda sad. Sad over a terrible vision like Lola was, or sad for the girl she sang about? Lincoln couldn't tell.

'Don't you understand?'

The boy shrugged. 'Kinda? I'm getting why we don't talk about her, but I don't understand why everyone is singing all of a-'

He felt himself being moved by something in the blink of an eye, and with how quickly he moved he could only assume that Lynn had grabbed a hold of him to move him to the next location. It made him wonder if his sisters had planned out this whole thing to begin with. When that split second was over, he found himself back in Luan's room, except the grand spotlights had been dimmed significantly to give the room a more moody lighting.

And in that darkness, he could see Luan.

He sighed. 'Oh, let me guess, you're going to-'

'SEVEN FOOT FRAME!'

'Now why are you singing?!'

The sheer increase in volume from Luna's whispering to Luan's yelling was jarring enough to make Lincoln flinch. Luan, to emphasise her lyrics, morphed into a being with a 'seven-foot-frame' (though it seemed more like ten). Her hair turned black and loose, covering up her eyes, and her skin turned pale. Even her clownish outfit turned into a ink-black dress with a dark green hoodie.

'BATS ALONG HER BACK!'

Like she said, a couple of bats suddenly emerged along her back, likely commanded by Lana to do so. It only left Lincoln even more baffled as to where they would've had the time for this.

'I don't understand why-'

'When she calls your name, it all fades to BLACK!'

She pounced at Lincoln like a tiger, baring sharp fangs that brought most vampires to shame. Lincoln unleashed a yelp he'd rather not remember and tried to dive out of the way. He didn't get far, however, for Luan had grabbed onto him with her skinny pale arms.

'Luan, what are you doing?!' He asked, more annoyed than frightened. 'Look, it's impressive, but I doubt that Lucy actually did have a seven-foot-frame. I think you're-'

Luan belted out an impressive evil laugh, deepening her own voice just slightly. 'Yeah she sees your dreams and FEASTS on your screams!'

Lincoln turned around to return to his room, and flinched when he saw Luna and the twins right behind him. He didn't even hear them come in, thanks to Luan's loud singing. At this point, Lincoln just kinda sat there and took it.

'We don't talk about Lucy, see see see!' They all sang at once, with Luna taking on a slightly subtler melody. 'We don't talk about Lu-ceeeeee!'

'Don't talk about Lu-ceeeeee…' Luna added, quietly.

Lynn gave an impish look to Lincoln, grinning like a mischievous idiot.

'Ready to go to the next verse?' She asked.

'It doesn't matter what I say,' He replied. 'Does it?'

'NNNNOPE!'

Sighing in resignation, Lincoln closed his eyes and allowed Lynn to pick him up and carry him off somewhere. Luckily, Lynn's inherent immunity to intense g-forces (necessary to have alongside super speed) applied to anything she was carrying too. After only a second, he could feel her grip on him lightening, so he opened his eyes.

They were in the middle of town square, where a crowd of people had gathered.

'Wait…' He said, pinching the bridge of his nose. 'Why did you-?'

A person zoomed out from the crowd. 'Zoomed' being quite the appropriate term, for it was Scoots upon her namesake vehicle. She had a sneer on her face, and pulled out a big fishbowl out from seemingly nowhere (actually a pack on her scooter). Inside of it was the lifeless body of a fish, which all things considered was probably a plastic replica of the real thing.

'She told me my fish would die.' She said, hardly singing and more just yelling out of rage. 'The next day… DEAD!'

Lincoln was about to comment that it probably had something to do with the terrible conditions of the fishbowl, before she packed the bowl away and zoomed off like she was never even there. Probably going to pick up her 'beau'. The next person to step up to Lincoln and Lynn was Mr Grouse, looking as though he was only here to get paid. Which was quite likely.

'She told me I'd grow a gut!' He said, pointing to his titular body part. 'And just like she said! … Can I have those muffins now?'

'Later.' Lynn said. 'Next!'

Before Lincoln could ask another question - which he was about to give up on trying to do - a third person arrived on the scene. This time, it was Flip, with a noticeable frown on his face. He seemed a lot sadder compared to the frustrated Scoots or bored Mr Grouse, which was only a little satisfying for the Loud kids, with how much trouble he had given them over the years.

'She said that all my hair would disappear,' He said, falling to his knees. 'Now look at my head!'

'Okay!' Lincoln yelled. 'I think I see why we don't-'

Then, the entire crowd stepped forward and surrounded him. All together, all at once, they sang a slightly discordant line. All the combined vocals ended up making it sound a little off.

'Your fate is sealed when your prophecy is read!'

'But why are you getting mad at Lucy?!' Lincoln cried. 'It wasn't like she-'

Lynn glanced at an imaginary watch. 'Oh, look at the time. Looks like we're off to the next verse!'

'Lynn, I-'

Too late. In the literal blink of an eye, Lincoln found himself back in the plaza at home. The light had dimmed slightly, thanks to the setting sun, and most of his other sisters were in a ring around the lovely pattern in the middle. He couldn't see Lori anywhere, but she was probably still crying in her room. The only absence that seemed odd was Lisa; she must've been in her room too, but it seemed odd that she was nowhere to be seen.

This bizarre set-up was (sorta) explained when Ruidosa shone spotlights onto none other than Leni. She was descending from the sky, riding a pair of strong vines that held her much like a swing. Unlike everyone else, who was frowning or grinning evilly, she had a genuine smile on her face. And she looked gorgeous under those lights.

'She told me,' She sang, in a lovely voice. 'That the life of my dreams would, like, be promised and someday be mine.'

Lincoln and Lynn let an exasperated groan escape their lips, while the other sisters rolled their eyes.

'Of course she gets a good vision…' Lynn muttered.

'What did she tell you?' Lincoln asked.

'That I'd lose the baseball championship. Guess what happened?'

'Ah.'

Leni was not done with her little solo. As she brought her vine-swing down to the ground, she stretched out her legs and arm in the most graceful manner she could manage. Her hair fluttered around like the finest of silk.

'She told me that my power would grow…'

Once her feet touched the ground, she stepped off the swing and stumbled around for a bit before getting her footing. Somehow, she managed to make even that look graceful. Seemingly just to show off, she grabbed onto her swing one last time and sprouted little pink flowers all over it.

'Like the… um, how did that go again? Oh, right! Like the grapes that thrive on the viiine!'

Lincoln turned around, for the front doors to Ruidosa opened. Through it, he saw his parents arriving after another visit to the town, with Lisa by their side. The five-year-old walked with her shoulders slumped just a little. They weren't the only ones coming, for they were closely followed by that handsome Bobby and his little sister Ronnie Anne. Bobby had a soft smile, clearly happy to be here, but Ronnie Anne looked like she was longing for sleep. Her lack of a skateboard may have had something to do with it.

'Hey Leni!' Rita yelled. 'Bobby's on his way!'

For a moment, Leni shuddered. Shame that everyone's attention was only on the approaching group, so no one saw it or questioned it. Other than Luan; she just chuckled to herself. The sound of an opening door caught Lincoln's attention. Lori, looking just slightly better than before, emerged from her room and looked right at Bobby from the balcony. She reached her arm out, as though trying to grab him.

'She told me that the man of my dreams…'

Lincoln would've questioned why she was singing now, especially since it didn't seem like they would've had the time to organise any parts for her, but her voice sounded so broken that he couldn't bring himself to do it.

'Would be just out of reach…' She rested her chin on the railing. 'Betrothed to another.'

'It's like I hear her now…' Luna muttered, just quietly enough so Lincoln could barely hear her.

'But-' Lincoln said, before Lynn shoved him aside.

'Hey bro.' Lynn said, singing just barely and confusing him even more. 'I want not a sound outta you!'

'I can hear her now!'

Then, everyone walked away, leaving Lincoln in the middle of a strange silence that he didn't like. From where he stood, he could just barely see the bottom of the-missing-sister's door, despite how dim it was. In the middle of the silence, where the song clearly needed to continue somehow, Lincoln threw up his arms and gave up.

'You know what?' He said. 'Fine. I might as well join in.' He cleared his throat, and suddenly began reaching for the sky. 'Um, Lucy. Yeah, about that Lucy.'

He ran up the stairs as quickly as he could, which wasn't that fast all things considered. During this entire mess, he had to get that vision sorted out as quickly as possible.

'I really need to know about Lucy…'

As he made his way to his room, he passed by the seer's door. He stopped and reached out to it, hoping he'd see it glow once again, or even meet the one who used to sleep behind it.

'Give me the truth and the whole truth, Lucy!'

Luan, hardly able to contain her chuckling, approached the front door and took on the form of Bobby. She flexed her 'muscles' and adopted a flirty little grin.

'Oh Leni!' She said. 'Your boyfriend's here!'

'TIME FOR DINNER!' Lynn Sr yelled.

With that, almost all of the Loud sisters rushed into the dining room. They set the plates and lined up the chairs and cutlery as a team, still dancing along to a non-existent backing track. If Lincoln had been in the same room, he would've questioned the whole thing. But, of course, he was too busy with his own problems. That was not to say the song had stopped, however. Oh no. In fact, everyone was still singing.

At once.

'SEVEN FOOT FRAME…'

'It was my pageant day…'

'I can always hear her sorta muttering and mumbling…'

'It was her pageant day…'

'She told me that the life of my dreams…'

It sounded a lot better in person, alright. While everyone was singing at once, Lincoln passed by Lori's door. It flickered like crazy for a few seconds, until it faded away completely. It had dimmed, just like Disappeared-Sister's door.

'No…!' He muttered.

He looked at the plaza below, where Lori had found herself. She had grabbed onto a table and tried to pull it, but could only manage to scrape its legs against the stone tiles, creating a horrid sound as she did so. If it wasn't clear before, it certainly was now: Lori Loud had just lost her gift. Who was next? Lincoln didn't want to find out.

'She told me that my power would grow…'

'THUNDER!'

'You telling this story or am I?'

'Grappling with prophecies that only brought them hurt…'

'Hey Leni, Bobby's on his way…'

Lincoln rushed into his room and returned to his little puzzle. Relying on the shape and words to solve it, he placed the next piece down right where it should've gone. He looked at two similar-looking pieces for a moment, before deciding on the next one.

'Lucy says it looks like rain…'

'BATS ALONG HER BACK!'

'In doing so she floods my brain…'

'To another… another…'

'Like the grapes that thrive on the vine!'

And then, after just a few pieces, he had placed the final one down. He knew he had done something right when the engraved text glowed with a dim green light. And, as he looked down upon it, he couldn't help thinking that he made a terrible decision.

'Pageants in a hurricane…'

'She won the day but anyway…'

'I am fine, I am fine, I am fine...'

'I'm fine, I'M FIIINE!'

'THEY'RE HERE!' Everyone said at once.

Lincoln's eyes scanned the text, and he began to realise that maybe, just maybe, he shouldn't have peeked at the one thing he was told not to look at.

'Why did I talk about Lucy…?' He muttered. 'I never should've brought up Lucy!'

With that, he hoped the song was over.

Author Notes - Credit to Disney and Lin-Manuel Miranda for the brilliant song, 'We Don't Talk About Bruno'!

Yeah, so when I said there would be no musical numbers... yeah, I lied. I had a lot of fun rewriting the lyrics a little to fit the story, beyond just changing the names and gender pronouns. For instead, 'it was my wedding day' was not going to work with Lana and Lola, cos it ain't that kind of story. 'Bats' rhymed with 'rats', which is kind of amazing, and the sound of 'digging hurt' seemed more appropriate for Lucy than 'falling sand'. And, by giving Dolores's second verse to Lori, I allowed almost every Loud Sister a chance to sing. With the exceptions of Lily (obviously) and, strangely enough, my personal favourite Lisa.

Originally, the 'chorus' kept the 'no no no' part. I decided to change it because it's meant to sound like it's repeating Bruno's name. 'Bruno no no no'. Since Lucy's name ends with 'see', I couldn't let the opportunity slide. It's something that a lot of parodies of WDTAB aren't able to do.