Where do you go when the world doesn't love you anymore

by Skovko

That's a question Finn asks himself often when he and his wife have been fighting. Once again he finds himself in front of Raegan's door. He's well aware he's hurting her but she never denies him so he keeps using her to make himself feel better.

"Where do you go when the world has given up on you?"

It was a question Finn often asked himself. Everytime he and his wife had a fight, he would wander the streets for hours, his thoughts taking over, asking himself question after question about the world and everything wrong in it. He felt so misplaced in the world sometimes.

"Where do you go when the world doesn't want you anymore?"

His sneakers felt worn out. They were old. He should have worn his new sneakers instead but he wanted them to last longer. He thought the old sneakers would last. At least they lasted this long. They had carried him to a house he knew inside out. A house he shouldn't be at. A house he couldn't stay away from.

"Where do you go when the world has turned its back on you?"

He knocked on the door and she opened. Raegan. Beautiful as always with her long, light brown hair and her hazel eyes. The smile on her face dropped and her eyes looked haunted. She never complained or denied him. He fell into her arms and hugged her.

"Are you okay?" She asked.
"Raegan," he breathed out. "I need you so bad right now."

He heard the sigh before he kissed her. Her body always welcomed him back. It was a strange feeling of belonging, almost like coming home, even though he didn't belong in this house or with her. If he wanted to, he could. The problem was that he didn't actually want to. He wanted to be with his wife. Raegan knew the deal. She was hurting because of it. Because of him. Because she couldn't say no. Because as much as he was in love with his wife, Raegan was in love with him. And he used that fact over and over, not caring in the moment how much he hurt her. It was all about him and what he wanted.

"Where do you go when the world doesn't love you anymore?"

To Raegan. He always went to Raegan. She never gave up on him. She always wanted him. She never turned her back on him. She loved him, with all her heart and soul, to a point where he felt bad everytime he left her house but never bad enough to never return again.

"But where does she go when I leave? Where does she go when her world crumbles down because of me? Who's out there not giving up on her, wanting her, having her back, and loving her like she loves me? Where does Raegan go?"