A knife is useful for a lot of thing. Protecting, defending, hurting, cooking, stabbing, and so on. But it has the ability of taking the pain away, too. Now Stefan wants to use that. Pain must have pain, that's the only way it'll end. If he lose enough blood, than he'll automatically kick himself out. And if he wakes up, he only have to cut himself for a few times, and darkness will take over him all over again. It's like being in the safe was. A psychopath game for a better purpose.
The time in the safe made him realize why didn't anyone called him. Because he doesn't deserve them. They did the right thing when they left him in there. They'll have to live a good life without him. He made himself think that he's good, that he changed, but at the end, he still remained his true self. A murderer. He did unforgivable things. He's evil. The world deserves one less killer.
He came back for a selfish reason, and because of this selfish act they all have became a part of the supernatural world. It's all his fault. And now, he will make everything all right...
He went back upstairs, put his daylight ring down at the table besides his bed, and with the knife, he went to his bathroom which was connected to his room, to end his misery.
He has reconsidered his idea, and figured out that maybe there's another way besides cutting.
He knew that since the safe he scares from water. He hasn't told it to anyone, he knew they would see him weak. And he can't afford that. He's the ripper of Monterey, after all. Being weak is not an option.
He decided that hel will torture himself till he can be around water. But the power to be able to control his fears only lasted till he first touched it. In that very moment every feel, every move, everything suddenly came back. He saw those months all over again. So he stayed at his original plan.
Which is pain must have pain.
He sat down on the ice cold floor, and took the knife in his left hand to take its blade to his left arm. And he did it. He cut himself for the first time. He saw the blood draining from his veins. He saw it, and he became its prisoner. He wanted more. More blood. The sight of it put him into a trance he could not escape. And he didn't want to.
He cut himself again, this time deeper. The red blood like wine came out, and this time, the wound didn't heal. And Stefan realized that the pain what he felt since Silas, suddenly gone away. He only needed this. He only needed to drain himself...
Katherine was walking back to her room when she smelled the scent of blood. But not human blood, she'd recognize it, she just got back from a hunt. No, it was vampire blood. She has lived enough to sense it even from a little smell.
She followed the scent to upstairs, and from than, to Stefan's room. She opened the door, but she couldn't find him anywhere. She went further, looked through the room, till finally she went to his bathroom.
As she saw him there, sitting in the floor, covered in his own blood, her heart broke into million little pieces. He was still conscious, but had lost a lot of blood. Unhealed cuts both in his hands with a knife before him. She knelt next to him, biting to her wrist to heal him with her blood, but he refused.
"No! Please! Please don't!" he begged her with crying eyes. She looked into his forest green eyes to see that he doesn't think it serious, but all she saw was redemption. She was worrying about him, and cursed herself because she hadn't seen this coming. And she was mad at him, she didn't like that he did this to himself. He's heart is pure, he's far from being evil, and he hasn't done anything to feel guilty about, so she didn't understand why has he done this.
"Why did you do this?" she whispered out her thoughts loud.
"Because it takes it away. It's the best way to end this. I don't want to feel it. I want the pain gone. And it takes it away. And if I do this enough time I'll drain myself out so I don't have to feel pain and no one would miss me, I'm not good enough, I'm evil and I deserve to suffer, I always just cause pain and misery, I have to be gone, I have to die while suffering..." he whispered back, the ending of it was so quiet that she had to use her vampire hearing to hear him. She was now more mad at him, because he underestimated himself. She has always known that Stefan doesn't that self-centered person, but that he thinks he's evil? And why does he thinks that he caused every pain and misery? That just doesn't make any sense. She knows that he used to torture himself back then, but it was always after he got back his humanity. Now he hasn't done anything, unless...
He thinks the bad thing is just simply that he exists? What has Silas done with him? Her still broken heart now is filled with anger. If she could, she'd scream at him, make him realize that he hasn't done anything bad, he deserves to live, and he sometime has to think about himself too, not just everybody else, he deserves to be happy, and not always being chained to his past, and think that no one loves him. But she knows she can't. It would just make everything worse. So she just has to explain it to him, and make sure he understands why he's a good man. Why he's the better man...
She suddenly remembered a conversation what has happened between her and Elijah. She remembered what she'd said to him. "That is too sad for me to accept, my lord. Life is too cruel. If we cease to believe in love, why would we want to live?"
She believed that no matter what has somebody done, in the end, there will always be one person who will make them change themselves to be better, and will love them. Hers was Stefan. And now, it was her time to return the favor, and show him he's worth to love.
She gently made him drink her blood what he accepted, and while his wounds healed, she held him tight, no letting him go for even a second. She felt him calming, so she whispered to him.
"We're together again. Everything will be alright. I'm here with you. I won't let you down. I love you!"
The only thing she heard before falling asleep next to him was, "Thank you! I love you too..."