Short update inspired by Family Separation.

Journal of mine

I am very blessed. I fell in love with an incredible woman and our life is an amazing adventure.

We fell in love at a Christmas party - two people who had gone on a few dates and were absolutely crazy about one another; but both a little afraid of how much this crazy love was.

It was a faculty mixer. She was there because she had impressed Professor Dankins with her ability to adapt and manipulate certain mathematical principles - which supposedly wasn't something he had ever seen in an undergrad before. Or a girl. She rolls her eyes when this comes up. Being a math genius was awkward every day for four years. Apparently dweebs are still wildly inappropriate and she thinks she should have a degree in fending off creepy men.

I was in my first year of grad school and brand new to being a TA. Dr. Zanis felt I needed to get to know more of the faculty and some select students

Elizabeth hadn't told me she would be there. To be fair I had not shared this with her either. We hadn't started sharing every moment with one another yet. It was 1988 and we were both pretty busy people. There was this current between us - and we both resisted it because we were young; and from such different worlds. She didn't want to seem needy by reporting in; and I felt the same. We both had friends that would call their partners about every little detail. We both found that ridiculous.

I didn't need her permission to talk to people and she felt the same. We also made our own plans through most of the week. Neither of us wanted to date someone where all we could do was check in with one another. We were truly present when we were together- and we were a new couple.

Anyhow, I had this dumb joke that I would tell. I would stick a match into the top of a matchbook and pretend it was a walkie talkie and say I was calling all rabbits. It was something I said when I felt awkward and wanted old people to laugh. It worked on colleagues, professors and some relatives. It was a hit with my mom's social group at church. My friends however thought my sense of humour was lame.

This time though when I finished the joke - there was a guffaw. A big heaping laugh and I looked over and there she was. Her blue eyes filled with tears of mirth. Her gorgeous body poured into a black dress- that was slightly sparkly and yet very grown up. Her hair was half up and half down and I felt my heart explode in my chest. I was wearing a black turtleneck, a tweed jacket with patches on the pocket, black corduroys and desert boots. (Which I found out later that she thought were ridiculous)

But in the moment she startled laughing. I knew she was genuinely as in love with me as I was with her. In that instant that my new girlfriend that I was just getting to know - I saw her as my future and my now.

In that moment I felt like I was a brand new person. I could see it in her eyes as well.

Like any decent geek I checked my watch and saw that it was 8:22pm.

She looked the way that I felt and suddenly we both felt this need to get some air.

Outdoors in the moonlight on a very cold December night - we couldn't get enough of one another. I held her because she looked cold. She put her head on my chest and sighed. Then we gazed into one another's eyes and we were both unable to speak clearly but yet it was as if we had been shot by Cupid. I tucked hair behind her ears and she grinned at me, rubbed both of my arms.

I told her I was falling love and had no idea what to do. She bit her lip and said that she was glad I had no idea what to do because she felt the same way.

I picked her up and whirled her in a circle and then we kissed as snow started to fall. It was insane how movie scene perfect it was.

To this day we celebrate the magic of that night. We were married 13 months later.

Definitely fate, followed up with some free will.

I brought her home to meet my family that first Christmas. But that's worthy of its own journal entry.

I love Elizabeth Adams McCord with everything I am. Sometimes that fact just takes my breath away.

It's been decades. We have had so many reasons to give up on this relationship- but more reasons to stay together- and we made vows. We both take that commitment very seriously.

Even when I am so angry and frustrated I could scream- I can always find a thread back to the feelings of first love. To the spark that ignited us.

Hokey as hell. But truth nevertheless. I want to be buried with that stupid matchbook. I found my soul mate because of a bad joke.

I have asked her why she found it funny and she is not able to answer me. She has no idea. It was a magical moment and she's not going to question it. She tells me that's the closest to God she's ever felt. This electric connection to a moment and a person. Well, and when she first held each of our babies.

We are sticking with fate as our reason for being. Of course there is so much more to this story. It's been over thirty years after all. But I just felt like writing this down.

H.