"Agreed," said First firmly.
Ajeya contemplated the alien, his white scaled ugly face. Before, the Jem'Hadar appearance had only served to reinforce the fact that they were not people. She had viewed them just as they have been portrayed by the intelligence report: living weapons, inferior beings created artificially to fight and die without soul, without honor.
Ajeya had never thought of them as individuals; she had never believed they could be capable of grasping the concept. During the war, she had fought the Jem'Hadar many times, but actually she had only seen them in a file. It had been just too easy to disregard them as simple animated tools.
"Agreed," Ajeya echoed.
She kept looking at the alien, at the particular way his brow creased and the especially big spine that formed in his chin and made First unique. Ajeya had never expected the alien to form his own thoughts, to actually talk so enthusiastically about freedom, and about honor.
She understood, of course, that fact changed nothing; it just made reality harder to digest. Because First was a tool of the enemy she was beginning to be fond of. First was nothing more than a talking weapon which she was starting to regard as a fellow warrior.
A terrible mistake. Some kind of twisted weakness developed by her time in confinement surrounded by them. First could not be honorable, and they had no right to freedom.
"Saavik is here," her daughter's carefully neutral voice penetrated her mind.
And neither has she! This time, her reflection was full of anger.
Ajeya cut off her communication with the Jem'Hadar leader and focused on Raghnill instead. She had just crossed the door coming from the bridge. She was so proud of her; she stood there embodying everything a true Romulan warrior should be.
"I'm going to greet her," it was a statement; she was not asking for her leave.
Raghnill was all her daughter should be, even if sometimes her integrity upset her. Like right now. She was still so committed to that… Saavik. She had been easier to ignore when she didn't have a name. She never really deserved a name. She should not have one.
Just like the Jem'Hadar. She should have been simply a number. Because she was just like them, or even less, since they were a success when she had only been a failure, a disgrace that still haunted her.
And her dear daughter was going to greet her, as a fellow soldier, maybe even as a friend. She remembered vividly the way she had defended the half-Vulcan, and the way she had looked at her in distress after discovering the truth. Raghnill had never understood her, and they had just silenced the topic until then.
"Remember we are supposed to be allies," the commander pointed.
"Supposed, that's a good word," Ajeya answered her dryly.
Raghnill probably had noticed her dark mood, because she had hesitated for an instant and next had neared her, touching her slightly. "I know how hard this is," she said softly.
But she did not. She knew nothing of the pain, of the rage, of the hate, even the self-loathing that bearing that… evil sprout had caused her. She still had nightmares where she faced the Vulcan man again in that same room, his fingers ripping at her forehead, his mind penetrating hers at the same time their bodies joined. She could never understood the fear, the revulsion she felt. The sacrifice.
And she had sacrificed herself for nothing, because the half-bred had been a total failure.
"Go bring her," Ajeya motioned her daughter. "I'll behave if she does." It was the further compromise she was willing to do, and it was still too much.
Raghnill left. It was just too easy for her to accept the hybrid as an equal, to welcome her. Raghnill looked up at Saavik and saw a half-Vulcan woman she could respect. She still refused to acknowledge that she was a threat, that she was a mistake that had to be erased, just like any other error.
And then Ajeya wondered if everything would have been easier if the foul project had been a success instead, just like the Jem'Hadar. Would her unwanted offspring have been easier to bear if she had turned out to be useful to the Empire? If she had brought her honor and glory instead of shame and disgrace, could she also look at her with certain acceptance or respect?
Her doubt hardly lasted an instant. She knew it was not true. Since the first moment she had known she was pregnant, she had loathed the baby. She had refused to consider it a child, because for her it was not. And every time she had had to feign in front of Diarth, to actually cheat him, she had hated the creature even more. She had caused too much pain; being a success would not have changed that.
She had been very glad to finally give birth and abandon her. She had not even wanted to know her gender, to take a single look at her. She had never named her. She should have never existed, even if she was alive in that hell where she belonged.
A chime almost startled her. The next second Raghnill was opening the door, coming in and moving aside as she introduced, "Ma'am, this is Admiral Saavik."
And a Vulcan woman was entering too, tall and poised in her crisp Starfleet uniform. She looked proud and self-possessed, just as the first time she had watched her.
"Admiral Ajeya," the Vulcan was acknowledging, her voice just too hard. Surely she was remembering that time they had met too, and probably everything else.
She hid under the Vulcan façade, but still she could not completely suppress the hate. It was something they had in common in despite of themselves: how much they hated each other, how much they loathed the cursed Hellguard.
But somehow she had been easier to hate when she had not had a name, when she had not had a face; when she was just the abomination that thankfully was already dead, instead of a grown-up half-Vulcan who gazed at her with the same hidden contempt from the other side of the Neutral Zone.
Saavik entered the ready room. At the furthest side of the long oval table was seated Ajeya. She had looked up at Raghnill first but her gaze had flickered towards her the moment Raghnill had mentioned her name. Ajeya did not hide her loathing, and her eyes sparkled with arrogant defiance.
Saavik tried hard to refrain her own strong emotions and remain detached, but the situation was a true challenge to her inner control. Her past lured inside her very soul, matching the hatred of her opponent, and asking for release.
Ajeya was older than she had expected. Saavik had seen her in the updated files Starfleet had given her and noticed the signs of aging; she had observed her projected image during their previous conversations too, but somehow, now in front of her, she looked older and more vulnerable.
"And…" Raghnill was motioning towards the door, looking intently at her. Or behind her. Saavik realized she was transfixed at the threshold. She moved forward and slightly to the other side. "..This is Lieutenant Ba'el, the admiral's aide." Raghnill seemed relieved after finishing the sentence.
"Admiral," Ba'el was acknowledging, bowing slightly her head.
Saavik watched Ba'el for an instant, expecting her to behave and not share the animosity the young woman had lately developed towards the Romulan admiral, after knowing of their common past. She kept her demeanor as neutral as possible but still she looked very much upset.
Saavik inhaled and exhaled slowly and soundlessly and willed her own emotions not to show. Even once she had accepted Surak's teachings as her own, a part of her had never stopped hating her then unknown Romulan parent. Even once Vulcan had become her true home, a part of her had not forgotten her old and very Romulan oath of revenge. And she was now in front of who she knew was her cursed mother, and no matter how Vulcan she was, she could not help but feel the same hate; only her old desire to kill and avenge herself had diminished.
Ajeya was as hateful and dishonorable as she had been when she was just a ghost in her mind, but her duty to Starfleet and her commitment to Vulcan values were stronger than anything else. As long as Ajeya kept her word and did not attack her, she would also contain herself.
"Shall we sit down and proceed?" Raghnill was inviting all of them, walking towards her mother.
Saavik nodded but took a seat as far as possible from Ajeya, always watching her. Raghnill sat beside her commanding officer and Ba'el did the same.
"First, you may want to know that Admiral Saavik has brought with her Colonel Coltan," Raghnill said grinning in spite of herself.
"Really?" Ajeya said, her eyes showing the same cold hate, but her lips creaking into a delighted smile.
"He was the only Romulan I held onboard. My other two guests are Sloan and a Cardassian citizen," Saavik informed her.
"Have you questioned him?" Ajeya immediately wanted to know.
"No," Saavik answered firmly. "He has been unconscious all the time."
"We are questioning him now, ma'am," Raghnill quickly supplied.
"Good," Ajeya complimented, pleased. "I will pay him a visit later."
A sadistic gleam showed for a fleeting moment in her eyes, and certain relaxation, but she hardened her features again and insisted in her previous demand, "When will the Firebird be returned to us?"
Saavik did not move a single muscle and answered coolly, "When I am certain this mission is successfully over."
Ajeya ruefully smiled, and Saavik went on, "We have a common threat to neutralize, and a question to answer." She paused a second and went straight for the truth, "While we arranged the meeting, I spoke with Koval. He recognized the existence of Thieurrull but said nothing of his implication in it."
"Does he know—" Ajeya started to ask, then shot a glance at Ba'el, realizing and resenting her presence, and kept quiet.
Saavik, though, did not need her to finish the question to know what was on her mind, "His answers indicate he does not."
"But you are not sure," Ajeya snapped, irritated.
Saavik kept calm, "We will learn soon."
Again, Ajeya was eyeing Ba'el with suspicion. For her, the aide was an outsider in a too private matter. However, Ba'el did not share her view; Ba'el was the only true family Saavik had in that room, even if she was not related to her by blood. And she had every right to intervene, which she did.
"Koval is too young to have taken part in Hellguard. He mentioned his grandfather. He's the one you are interested in. You should ask about him."
Ajeya looked as if she would rather snap her neck. Raghnill also drew up in alert, and she was the one who spoke, her tone menacing, "Now, what do you know of Hellguard?"
Saavik stilled them, "She is my aide, and she knows enough as to efficiently help me in this matter. Nothing more."
That could actually mean anything, but the Romulan officers were not about to question more and reveal themselves.
"He, his grandfather and Thieurrul. An illegal and shameful project that traitor insist on relive in spite of the Empire," Ajeya declared.
Ba'el thought it was a small step that at least both Koval and Ajeya recognized the existence of Hellguard; she had learnt that officially the Romulans denied that fact. The Klingon goverment had also denied the existance of Khitomer's survivors and had refused to allow her mother and the other prisoners to be returned home. They have talked about honor, but were they truly preserving the survivors' honor or their own? As in the case of Hellguard, it seemed the second was more imortant than the first.
Saavik took off a padd she had carried with her. It was the recording of her conversation with Koval. "You may want to hear it," she said. And the four of them listened in silence. Neither Ajeya nor Saavik looked at the recorded scenes; they watched each other all the time. Raghnill shifted her gaze from Saavik to her mother to the recording. When Sloan fired Koval, she turned sharply to the Vulcan, her eyes flashing, but she subdued at hearing Sloan explain he was not dead.
Raghnill's rage had another target when she spoke up once the recording went blank. "And are we supposed to believe that crap about the clones?" she said in a heated voice; she disliked the new complication.
"It's a possibility."
"A very twisted one," Ajeya added. "How can I be sure this is not a set up? You, Sloan and the rat of Koval acting to exonerate the Federation so he can keep his position and ruin the Empire?"
"Neither Koval nor Sloan work for the Federation. If they did, this incident would already be over."
"Koval does not work for the Empire, not in this matter at least. I can assure you neither the Praetor nor the Senate have approved any of his actions."
Ba'el chimmed in.
"Then I think the question is who is he working for and why. Admiral, when you and Sloan questioned him about his loyalty he answered, 'Why are you so short-sighed?' I believe he really was pointing at something."
Raghnill had her own conclusions too, "Admiral," she addressed her own mother respectfully, "with all you have researched about Koval, do you seriously believe that he's simply the Federation's puppet and getting himself into so much trouble just for them?" she tilted her head towards the two Starfleet officers.
Ajeya mulled over it, "So we are short-sighed, he thinks… You know, half-breed," she could not help the insult this time when she spoke to Saavik, even if her tone was light, "I never really knew what Hellguard was supposed to be for."
Saavik did not react, but Ba'el glared at her. Ajeya was unaware she was a half-Romulan too and how deeply her words hurt her.
"To destroy the Federation," Saavik enlightened her. "They created a weapon of mass destruction and directed it against Earth. If they had been successful, the planet's entire population would have perished."
"Oh, yes, I remember. And you may want to know that the people responsible of it died as traitors, even if their fate was never made public. But that does not explain why they would want to create… you. Did you have special qualities for weapon testing? I don't think so."
Ba'el gritted her teeth at the disdainful way the Romulan flag officer used toward Saavik; she struggled against the urge to leap at her and do something she would later regret. She stole a glance at Saavik; she remained tense but in control.
"Maybe they were a first attempt to create a genetically manipulated army, as the Jem'Hadar," Raghnill was sharing her opinion with respect.
"We do not know yet, but you have given us an important point, Admiral Ajeya. If Hellguard had been a success and the Federation would have been destroyed, those people would have been honored as heroes, but since they failed, the Empire denied any association with them and instead labeled them as traitors."
The smile that welcomed her words at the other side of the table was practically a snarl. But Ajeya finished her thoughts aloud, "The Praetor and the Senate have never known of Koval's plans and therefore have not approved them, but if he is successful and the results benefits the Empire, they will have no qualms in accepting them as theirs. However, if he fails… and he knows he's failing…"
Saavik just arched her eyebrows. Raghnill grinned, "A change in our strategy then."
"To make him die a painful and dishonorable death, yes. But I yet don't know exactly what his plans really are and I mean to learn that!" Ajeya determinedly said.
"So do I." Saavik realized how hard it was to accept she agreed even in a small point with Ajeya; she kept eyeing her lifetime foe and knew the other woman was stung by the same realization. They still disagreed in many important views and she stated them, "This is not just about revenge, Ajeya." That was, after all, the main reason Ajeya had to pursue Koval, but it was not hers, "Koval is a real threat that will not be neutralized until we truly understand what he pretends to accomplish."
"The bigger scheme we are too short-sighed to see," Ba'el supplied.
"Exactly," Raghnill agreed.
"Well, let's make Koval talk," Ajeya continued, her tone animated, almost forgetting about her unwanted daughter and the menace she was by herself. "Being at gun point can help with that."