When I first woke up, everything was a bit of a buzz. Everything was too bright and what sounds I could hear were all muted. It's weird, and it continued to becomes a pattern. I would wake up, eat something, and go back to sleep. My senses right now are fucked to high heaven but there are somethings that I'm starting to make sense of, but I guess the most important I've put together is that I'm a baby.
Yup, you heard me. I'm a baby and its hell.
To be honest, it took what I believe to be a week to put it together, and even then, it's a hard pill to swallow. The biggest give a ways have been the fact that I can feel someone carrying me around, thou I'm not sure who it is (I can't see or hear very well) and that I've been breast feeding for the last three weeks. To be clear, I thought my office job was boring, but being a baby sucks especially when it appears my mind functions like it did before "The Void" although it feels like I'm drunk 24/7, everything is slow and cloudy and that's not even considering my dulled senses.
All in all, I believe I died and was reborn. I blame the remembering part on the vampire, honest I don't know what he expects by the time I'm in kinder garden I'm either going to be insane or mentally repress these memories along with my past life, because I just want to make it clear being a baby sucks.
Year 1 of rebirth
I've learned so many things. I've been drawn into a Japanese game show of cosmic proportions. Okay, let's take it slow first off, I developed fast for a baby, my first birthday was two weeks ago. By now I can both walk and talk, and boy does it feel good to walk again. Anyways, it didn't me long to figure out who it was that shoved me into a portal (and the one who probably took me to the void in the first place) after learning my name.
That name being Karen Uchiha.
Yup, you heard I've been reborn as a motherfucking Uchiha.
After learning that little piece of information, it didn't take me long to eavesdrop on nearby family members for more information to confirm what I thought. I had been reborn in the Naruto world.
Afterwards, everything just started sticking together, and I had name to put on the amused vampire that name being Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg the troll of the fate universe and the most feared being of all fanfic characters. On that note, am I a fanfic character? Probably, moving on.
I haven't learned much yet, sense I haven't even left the compound yet and all the people around are what I'm calling side characters for now, and there hasn't been any major name drops yet, there is one major thing I've learned so far about my new life.
I'm rape baby.
My birth was apparently almost the cause of a civil war in Konoha. You see my mother is a Uchiha while on the other hand my father is a Hyūga. I'm sure you can tell what happened next. You see both clans have eyes that give them great power and they guard that power jealousy. So, when I was born it started a two-sided conflict. On one hand, a Hyūga had raped a Uchiha and on the other I had been born with the potential for the Sharingan and the Byakugan. You see because of this the Uchiha clan wanted me alive to expand the clan's potential and on the other side the Hyūga clan wanted me dead to prevent the Uchiha's from getting their secrets.
However, before any blood could be shed the Hokage step in and stopped it, (I still don't know which one it is) so I get to live "yeah".
That isn't to say that the conflict stopped completely, all the did Hokage did was prevent bloodshed. The conflict continued but in a purely politic form and as far as I can tell the Uchiha's are winning this conflict. Which brought no small amount of relief to me.
Speaking more about myself, as I said earlier, I was very developed for a one-year-old. By all measures of standards, I physically act more like a three- or four-year-old should, mentally however, I've been trying to dumb it down so to not draw to much suspicion to my being and so far, I'm failing. Hey, I'd like you to do better, I live in a clan of super ninjas with eyes that give a person future-sight and photo-graphic memory. I must thank whatever gods that exist out there for them thinking that I'm just some kind of prodigy, genius. To be clear, I don't know if this is a blessing or a curse, because on one hand they don't think I'm a reborn person from another world (small miracle, especially in this world) but on the other hand I'll need to maintain the illusion that I am a prodigy-genius to not draw suspicious in the future.
At this point, I don't think it's much of a choice. I'd rather not be found out and dissected on some lab table for being from another world, I like having all my limbs intact, thank you very much. Now, while being a shinobi is very dangerous, I like my odds of living with having super ninja powers, they tend to help people survive.
Besides I have a huge advantage in this world, before I died, I was a huge anime fan and I watched Naruto religiously. I also liked to look up the wiki to understand how some techniques worked and if that wasn't enough, I was born with what is possibly the three most powerful Kekkei Genkai in the shinobi world. The Sharingan that I got from the Uchiha clan, The Byakugan I got from the Hyuga clan, and finally the lesser known second Kekkei Genkai of the Hyuga clan (that as far as I know doesn't have a name) the ability to expel chakra from any of the 361 Tenketsu on their body.
In other words, I'm broken as fuck.
All those I'm only one so far, being a baby has given me plenty of thinking time to come up with a plan or plans, I need to know when I am. I know right now that the Uchiha clan is very much so alive, but I don't know if this a revived clan that would it after the events of Boruto or if it's before the massacre. Until then I can't and won't make any power plays because I mess up canon my future knowledge (if it is the past) goes to shit. So, until I can find real prove about what time I'm going to sit tight and act like the little intelligent one year old that I am.