Hello everyone. First off I would like write this small apology for being gone for some time and dropping the last chapter so suddenly. To put it brief I have been very busy with work and other situations in my life that in result left me having to take a break. As a result, I have had some time to re-think the main plot of my story, experiment with some new ideas and have a general overlook of how I want to continue this story. From here on due to me still being busy I plan to try and release a new chapter more frequently. However if this doesn't happen please be patient as I will be trying to get back on track. That's all I got to say here, and thank you to all current and new readers that I see here on, and enjoy this next Chapter.
Chapter 29: Echo's from another Life
Jackson quietly walks through the empty halls of the academy, his hands in his pockets and sighing heavily as he makes his way back to his room. His only thoughts were to try and relax and take his mind off of the recent events that had occurred earlier today.
The heavy patter of rain and wind from the storm outside could be heard from inside the building and as he walks past a window in the hall, a bright flash lights up the side of his face followed by a loud clash of thunder. Jake stops and turn to the window and steps towards it, looking out into the grey of the storm he sees his reflection on the glass pane, and despite the many trails of rain water that ran down the window, he could see himself clear as day... and breathes heavily in frustration at himself.
Jake lifted his eyepatch up and revealed the demonic eye that he'd been cursed with for longer than he could remember and stares at it... a feeling of shame and disgust washing over him as he looks at the eye of his alter ego, feeling disgusted with himself that earlier today he let that ego loose again... and after swearing to himself that he would do his level best to never let it happen again and failing weighed down heavily on him.
"Yo! Me ninja brother."
Jake was suddenly taken off guard by a young female voice calling out at what he could only assume was him and quickly lowers his eyepatch to hide his eye and turn in the direction he heard the voice come from. However as he does he is nearly knocked over as a young girl runs up and jumps into his body, wrapping her arms around him in a tight embrace.
"Sabrina." Jake said, knowing that it was her pretty much right away after hearing her familiar voice.
Wrapped in her embrace, Jake could find a faint smile as he gives Sabrina a hug back himself, the sight of her back on her feet and so full of energy was an uplifting sight for him.
Just then the two of them have their attention brought to one of the staff nurses rushing round the corner calling out for Sabrina, the out of breath look on her face showing that she clearly had been chasing after her... By the time she reaches Jake she had her hands on her knees and was panting for breath.
"I'm terribly sorry for this, Mr. Jackson." The nurse said breathlessly as she straightens herself out. "She said she wanted to see you, but after I said she would have to wait, she had snuck out of her room and has been running around looking for you."
Jake could only chuckle a little at the nurse.
"Oh really now." He said, Then turns his head down to look at Sabrina. "Well It's a good thing she found me or else she might have lead you on a marathon."
Sabrina looks back to Jake with a bright smile on her face.
"Good to see you're back on your feet. How are you feeling?" Jake asked her.
"Never better nah." Sabrina said brightly. "No more pain, no more starving while dem skunt al eat... and me never felt so awake."
Jake chuckles a little as he looks down at the young girl, seeing that she indeed seem to be a bit more lively and energetic than she had been at any other time he had seen her.
"Huh, I guess that must mean your blood sugar levels are back to a healthier state... Though I think for the nurses sake you shouldn't have any coffee." He said, letting off a faint chuckle to himself. "So, what were you wanting to find me for."
As he asked that question, Sabrina releases him from her hug and gives him a warm smile as she spoke to him.
"Me wanna say thank ya, for savin me."
Her words sunk into Jake's head and he looks at her in silence for a moment. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate her thanking him... It was the fact she was thanking him in the first place. And that was something that was confusing Jake more than anything else... He knew that Sabrina had seen the side of him that he swore never to release... He knew that she couldn't possibly forgotten about how he turned to kill the lab director without any regards to the fact that she could have easily died as well.
To Jake... he was convinced that was enough to scare the young girl away to the point where the sight of him would have been enough to make her keep her distance from him, but instead she was hugging him and thanking him... Like had no fear of him... and this left Jake in complete shock.
"But... Sabrina, the lab." Jake said to her with a wide eyed look, reminding the two of them about what happened and how she nearly died.
But Sabrina just continues to gaze back at him through her warm smile and takes a step towards the confused young man.
"Me told ya, Jake... Don't worry bout me nah." She suddenly said.
This time the nurse even looks down at the young girl, unable to believe what she was saying through such a care free expression. Jake was taken back by what she said, finding it hard to digest what Sabrina was telling him... It was like that even though she was still alive right now, she wasn't caring that it could have ended very differently. She didn't seem to have any bad feelings towards Jake for how he acted after she told him that if she had to be sacrificed as well with the director at that lab to make sure the rest of the children in that place could live... then she was perfectly willing to let Jake do such a thing without needing to feel any remorse for his actions.
And now, she was telling Jake not to worry about her... because she did not want her life to be a hindrance to him.
"Why though?" Jake asked her. "Why don't you want me to?"
At that moment, Sabrina stepped forward and picks Jakes hands in hers. Jackson looks down at her in confusion as she turns his hands over in hers so he was now looking into his palms.
"Cuz none a da life's you took down there were dat special."
Jake stands there speechless at what he had just heard her say. What could she possibly mean by that? she was one of the lives he nearly took back down at the lab, and the fact that she was saying hers was nothing special that he should have worried about was doing nothing but make him look at her with the most shocked of expressions on his face.
One thought was only in his mind now because of this.
(Just how selfless is this young girl?)
"Sabrina... how could you say you're that willing to have died... and why." Jake asked her.
He wanted to know why she had become so bent on making it clear to him that regardless of what happened to her he wasn't to be concerned about her... like she never wanted her death to have been a burden for Jake to carry if she had indeed lost her life to his hand back at the lab. He just couldn't understand how this young girl... who had he had not even known for more than a day was showing such compassion towards him, for whatever reason he did not understand as he looks down at his hands held in hers... still seeing stains of blood flash past in his mind.
Sabrina looks up at Jake with a warm smile on her face and softly spoke to the young man as she gives him her answer.
"I told ya at dat jumby lab. Me life no such precious ting... Back where me from, a lotta kids like me die in da streets, but no one give a toss bout us... we like rats to dem... So it make no difference to me if I die there or at dat lab, cuz no one would care dat much... So when dat skunt put a gun at me head and tried to use me to kill you and dem other girls... I decided dere dat if me gonna die... den I was gonna take dat skunt to hell with me so you could save da rest of dem girls... At least me could die knowing me helped other lives go on."
Sabrina looks at Jake and sees his eye widen in disbelief to what she just told him and felt his hands grow heavy in hers as they slip out of her grip and fall to his sides. Jake was stunned by her, the weight of her truthful answer pressing down on him evermore now. He never realised that it was that bad where she was from... where children that had nowhere to call their home or family were reduced to starving and dying in the streets, while people just walked by without a care for these young lives being lost so soon... like it was no concern to them whatsoever. The thought of seeing such a sight made Jake shudder slightly.
It was no wonder Sabrina was so convinced that he should not worry about her. The poor girl has probably never had anyone care about her enough to make her think that she would amount to anything... and as a result, she had become numb to the purpose of living... she had been lead to believe that she had nowhere to go and nothing to live for, so she was willing to just die with the lab director... she saw that as at least a way of dying knowing it wasn't for completely nothing and that she helped somebody in some way... whether it was to help Jake complete his mission... or to help save the rest of the girls in that lab.
It would have been acceptable to her at least.
Just then, Jake 's train of thought was brought back to Sabrina as she gives him a faint giggle.
"But ya whacked dat skunt real good, and thanks to dat heally stuff you have... I guess dat means ya saved me three times now nah." She said joyfully to him... but then Jake sees her expression shift as Sabrina spoke again. "At least... ya kept me life going a bit longer... but I guess me's just gonna be back on da streets soon... where me always have been."
With that said, a heavy sigh came from Sabrina as she thinks about what will become of her now... It wasn't that she was ungrateful for Jake saving her life, it was just the simple fact that she didn't know what good she could make out of his efforts for her. For as long as she could walk she had always been on the streets with nowhere to go, or no one to care about her. She couldn't see herself staying here at the academy... it just wasn't her place to belong and the thought of that weighed down on her as she assumed that at some point soon she would end up back on the streets where she felt she belonged to suffer as she had done until she ended up like the countless kids that passed before her.
And despite the rather happy expression she had on her face, deep down... she was scared, upset... and fighting to keep her composure as she refuses to let Jake know that she was feeling her pain that she suffered for many years right now.
However she was caught off guard when she felt Jake's hand rest on her shoulder, causing her to look up at him.
"That is not going to happen as long as I have something to do about it." He said.
"Huh?" Sabrina said in confusion, raising a brow at Jake as she had no idea what he meant by that.
"You're not going back onto the streets to suffer anymore Sabrina... I won't allow it. I know that there is no place for you here at the academy... but I can at least give you the chance you never had if you stay with FEISAR." Jake said.
"FEISAR? Who are dey?" Sabrina asked out of curiosity.
That's when Jake gave her a smile back himself.
"They are who I work for. Like me... FEISAR dedicate themselves to protecting the weak and keeping the world a safer place. I know it might sound like a lot to ask you... But if you stay here at the academy at least until I can get in touch with my superiors and have you picked up. We can take care of you at our base back in America... My friends will treat you like one of them, and we can educate you into figuring out what you really want to do with your life."
Saying this Jake holds a hand out to Sabrina, who by this point was staring at him blankly as she was unable to find the expression to describe how she was feeling about the kindness and compassion that the young Texan was showing her.
"What do you say Sabrina... No more streets, no more suffering... and I'll help you find that reason to live that you seem to have lost." Jake said through a smile.
his words sunk deep into Sabrina's head and had hit her hard, in all her life she had never came across someone as kind, compassionate or caring as Jake... In the space of a few hours he had risked his life more than once for her, had made his best efforts to protect her and was now offering her second chance at life that she thought that she would never get.
The reality of what she was being given had finally sunk in and Jake is caught off guard when he spots her eyes well up in tears before she launches herself at him, hugging him tightly as she buries her face into his stomach.
"Thank you... thank you so much, Jake." she said, her voice muffled and staggered as she sobs in joy into Jake's blazer.
Jake just lets out a faint sigh as he places a hand on her head, gently stroking the young girls hair as he gives her the time she needed to let her emotions finally flow. Even the nurse was taken back in aww at his compassion and caring nature that he was sharing with Sabrina.
After a good minute, Sabrina finally starts to regain her composure as she lifts her face up to see Jackson smiling at him.
"Me gonna make sure ya didn't waste ya time on me." She sniffs, trying to keep herself from breaking up again. "Me gonna do me best until I'm just like you."
As soon as she said that however, Jake suddenly looked down at her with a more serious expression and before she had the time to ask him what was wrong, Jackson picks her hands off from round her waist and gets down onto one knee so that he was now eye level with her, her hands still in his as he looks at her.
"Sabrina... I want you to promise me something... No matter what you do from here on... Promise me... That you will never become like me."
"Huh? Why?" Sabrina asked.
She was clueless as to why Jake would ask her of such a thin. After seeing what he had done and what he was capable of due to his nature and determination she could only think that becoming strong like him was the only way she could thank him for saving her life.
However, when Jackson bring his left hand up and digs his nails into the back of his wrist, Sabrina is left in shock as he rips the artificial flesh off the back of his hand to expose a part of his cybernetic arm. Even the nurse jolts back in shock herself as she sees the metallic back of Jake's hand gleam in the light as he looks at Sabrina.
"Because there is a price to being like me." Jake said as he gazes into Sabrina's eyes. "When you live a life like mine, where every bad decision or hesitation could result in the loss of countless lives... you lose track of what you deem as right and wrong... you lose a part of you every time you fail to give your best and end up becoming more like a machine every time... but worst of all... is that I know all too well that this is a life that I have created because of my own actions. So I won't let you make that same mistake."
Jake reaches forward and placed his hands on Sabrina's shoulders to keep her eyes locked on his.
"I'm no hero Sabrina, the version of me you saw in the lab when I killed the director is proof enough." He said, looking away from her for a second, refraining himself from thinking of the monstrous side of him that he let this innocent girl see.
Then looks back at her.
"I'm just a monster playing as a soldier... like I always have been, I've killed to save lives as well as my own and killed to carry out my orders. But there is no fun and games with killing... because every life taken is a price paid with your soul... And I'm still paying for things I have had to do in my years fighting to atone for mistakes I made... But you, you could be so many things with the chance you have... you could even be better than me"
Saying this Sabrina looks into Jake's emerald green eye as he said one last thing to her.
"Please don't let me giving you a second chance be another mistake by letting you turn into me."
Sabrina just stands quietly for the moment, looking at Jake with a soft expression on her face as she wiped a tear that clung to her cheek, before leaning forward and wrapping her arms round his neck to hug him one more time as she softly spoke into his ear.
"Promise."
Jake could only smile himself as he hugs her back, patting the back of her head softly, glad to hear that she would not follow him down his path and leave this burden that he was bared with for him to continue carrying alone.
"Just know one ting, Jake." He suddenly heard Sabrina say.
"Hmm." He said as she pulls back from their hug, looking at him with a bright smile.
"Ya always a hero to me... no matter how much of a monster ya tink ya are."
Her words struck deep into Jake as he hears her say that... He never considered himself a hero in his own mind because of his actions in the past or because of the demon he harboured within him. But hearing Sabrina still call him one despite that could help him find the effort to give her a small smile himself as he nods at her.
"Thank you." He said, making her Smile even brighter.
Just then the nurse steps forward and places a hand on Sabrina's shoulder.
"Excuse me Miss. I think we should let Mr. Jackson go get some rest, I'm sure he is very tired as well after today." The nurse said, urging Sabrina to let Jake go and return to his room as well as she should for the rest of the evening.
Sabrina gives off a faint (Hmph) as she pouts her lip. She would have liked to have been around Jake for a bit longer... But she knew that the nurse was probably right. After today Jake was probably just wanting to get back to his room to get some much needed rest and clear his mind and plan ahead for whatever he had tasked ahead of him. With that thought in mind she nods quietly and lets Jake get back onto his feet to look up at him.
"Guess me be seeing ya again some other time nah." She said, gaining a faint chuckle from Jake.
"Yeah... for now though, you take care of yourself Sabrina. And I'll see you around." He said as he gives her a playful ruffle on her head.
The nurse takes Sabrina under her arm and leads her in the direction that her room was. Watching back over his shoulder Jake sees her give him one last smile as she disappears round the corner.
As soon as she was out of his sight, Jake's smile slowly dropped as he lets out a heavy sigh, looking down at the back of his exposed cybernetic hand, remembering everything he had gone through that lead to him gaining this augmentation... and everything that followed on after it.
"Hero, huh." He said as he remembers what Sabrina said to him, breathing heavily as he turns around to head to his room with a heavy heart as he said to himself.
"I wish I could feel about myself like you did, Sabrina... because I don't feel like a hero."
With that said Jake slowly walks off down the other end of the hall and heads to his room to rest.
But as he disappears round the corner, a door that was near where he had been talking to Sabrina slowly creeks open and three pairs of eyes peer out to see that he had left the hall.
And with the coast clear, a young brunette and two blondes walk out into the hall.
"Goodness... his compassion is never stopping." Charlotte said.
She had come to Rin and Cecilia's room to check on how they were doing after recovering from the incident in the arena, and whether by luck or not they had overheard Jake when he was talking to Sabrina and had listened in on him. The three of them now feeling a sense surprise about themselves after hearing how caring and compassionate Jake had been to the young girl.
"Yeah... I mean, I know Jake seemed to be a nice guy, but... This is something else, how he would be willing to take someone from the brink of giving up on life to help them make something of themselves just shows that his heart is bigger than he was making it out to be." Rin said as she folds her arms. "It almost makes me feel bad for being so tough on him when he showed up."
"Indeed, but even so... It seems that big heart of his is weighing him down as well." Cecilia said, gaining the attention of both the other girls.
"Huh?" They said in unison.
"You heard it yourself... Even though Sabrina says he's a hero to her... He doesn't feel like one himself, and even though he's giving her the best second chance he can give her... He doesn't want her to become someone like him... the poor boy is cursed with some sort of burden that his past has created, and he doesn't want anyone else to follow his path and end up carrying his weight." Cecilia said, recapping what she had learnt from overhearing Jake.
"Maybe it has something to do with that side of him we saw in the arena." Rin said as she places a thumb under her chin to think of her own answer. "I mean if the path he's on is what lead to that side of him being brought out... could you blame him for not wanting anyone else to follow him and end up the same."
"I think his reason may go beyond that." Charlotte said, gaining Rin and Cecilia's attention. "Think about it... perhaps he just doesn't want her to go down a path that requires killing like he has had to do."
"Hmmm it makes sense I guess..." Rin said as she rubs her chin.
"I guess we'll never really understand why he won't allow anyone to follow his path unless we knew exactly what he has gone through." Cecilia said as she shrugs her shoulders.
"Mmm Hmm, and despite what we know about him right now... I can't help but feel that we have only scratched the surface of Jake's past." Said Charlotte as she looks down the empty hall that Jake was last seen walking down.
"So what should we do from here on? I mean it's not like it's our business to poke around at Jake's past to understand him better." Rin asked.
"Agreed." Cecilia says to comply with her.
Charlotte however just lets out a faint sigh as she has her own hypothesis on Jake.
"I think that if Jake should decide that we need to know that part of his past then he will tell us when he feels ready to do so... for now, lets just make sure we're there for him if he needs us... after all, we're his friends... so we shouldn't act like his enemies." The blonde French girl said.
"I'd say you are quite right there, Charlotte." Cecilia said humbly, agreeing with her friends as she nods at her.
"Mmm Hmm." Rin said in agreement as she nods to.
With that said the three of them look down the hall Jake had gone down, wondering how he was feeling himself at this moment.
Jackson finally makes it back to his room and quickly opens the door, closing it behind him he lets out a heavy sigh as he finally finds himself back in the safe confines of his and Ichika's dorm.
"That you back, JJ."
Jake hears his roommate calling out to him, and as Jake walks past the bathroom he sees Ichika sitting on the end of his bed, dressed an more casual attire of I.S academy tracksuits and was reading one of his I.S Academy text books to get some needed extra work on his progress with the classes work.
"Yeah, I'm back." Jake said as he walks past his roommate.
Jake sat down on the side of his bed and picks his hat off of his head, placing it on his pillow as he lets out a deep breath and looks up at the ceiling of the room.
For a few moments, all was quiet in the room and only the thoughts in Ichika's head was all he heard as he reads his textbook... however that silence soon started to become concerning to Ichika and sure enough as he glances out of the corner of his eye. He sees that Jake is still sitting on the side of his bed, his head resting on his knuckles as he leaned forward.
To Ichika, it looked like his roommate was in deep thought of something concerning him greatly... but after a second glance, Ichika notices something about Jake's posture that he couldn't shake, something that he wasn't sure was really true but couldn't figure out.
It looked like Jake was... Praying?
"JJ... You okay buddy?" Ichika askes as he closes his book and turns to look at Jake.
"Yeah." Jake said, his voice muffled as he still had his head down.
"Hmm, It doesn't sound like it." Ichika suddenly said as he raises a brow to him.
Upon hearing that, Jake looked up to see Ichika looking at him, feeling a little surprised that he had said something like that to him.
"Huh, you suddenly an expert on psychology now?" Jake asked in a half jokey tone, causing Ichika to rub the back of his head.
"Well... No... but I don't really need to, to say that I have definitely seen you in much brighter moods... I was just wanting to make sure you were all good." Ichika said.
He wasn't exactly lying there, and Jake knew it himself annoyingly. With the current state his mind was in after the events that had recently occurred today, it was clearly obvious that he was not in his usual brighter mood that Ichika had known his roommate to be in usually. And now that Ichika had picked up on this it seemed like he was now trying to get involved as well, which was the last thing that Jackson wanted right now.
"And why would my mood concern you?" Jake said bluntly.
Ichika was caught a little off guard by this. The tone of Jake's voice showed hints that he wasn't really caring that much if he was a concern to anyone and was more questioning why Ichika was trying to point out any concerns that he had for his roommate.
"Well because you're a friend of mine, Jake." Ichika said to answer his question. "I'd be a pretty bad excuse for a friend myself if I didn't treat you the same way I treat my friends... especially after all the good things you've done to help us."
Upon hearing this, Jake's expression shifted as he tries to think about what Ichika could possibly mean by (good things).
"Good things?" He askes as he raises a brow to his roommate.
"Come on Jake... think about it." Ichika said, trying to get him to remember but then decided to remind him. "You've been so kind and friendly to everyone since you got here, you don't ignore anyone if they need help with something regardless how big or small the issue is... When we had that Pyjama party you let Houki borrow your clothes so she could join in on the games we played... You helped us stay safe during that fight with the hit squad we encountered at the mall... you saved Houki from being abducted and taken from us... and you even-."
"Tried to kill you all when I almost completely lost control of my darker side in the arena." Jake suddenly said, cutting him off the silence him.
Ichika sat there quietly as Jake stared back at him. He had not forgotten that day back at the arena and remembers it only as one of the most terrifying and difficult fights of his life... not just because of how strong his opponent was, but the fact that it was Jackson he was fighting... or as he tried to believe, he was fighting a creature that was using his friend as a shield to protect itself from being hurt.
However Ichika's train of thought was cut off when Jake spoke to him again.
"I showed you and your friends that I am not as safe as I made myself out to be... I showed you all that I have held things back from all of you... Dark, and dangerous things that I nearly let loose and could've killed you or any one of your friends without hesitation." Jake said as he stood up looks down at Ichika who sat still on the end of his bed.
Like Ichika, Jake himself had not forgotten himself about that horrific ordeal that he forced Ichika and his friends into... Knowing that he was the cause for them to fight for their lives and could have been the cause of any of their deaths was a heavy load added to the burden that he carried. He never forgot how he felt knowing he had failed to contain his darker side and that it could have ended in disaster sent chills down his spine even to this point.
"What happened that day was something I never wanted for any of you but I lost my composure and now all of you know what kind of demon I am... so why, Ichika?... Exactly why would any of you consider me as a friend when you know this about me? Why do you still look at the good I may have done when the wrong I've done should have overweighed that." Jake said as he folded his arms at Ichika.
Jake was now curious to see how his roommate would answer after saying this. He had laid it out that he was clearly still thinking about that ordeal and wanted Ichika to now tell him why he still considered him as a friend after nearly dying because of him.
There were a few seconds of silence went by as Ichika just looks at Jake, taking in what he had said to him. He had always had a feeling that Jake had some kind of held back regrets towards what happened that day despite all that had been said after by Ichika or his friends to make him feel like he wasn't to blame for that incident... but even though he knew that in some way, Jake had not fully accepted their kindness in some sense that he didn't deserve it and still quietly carried the guilt of what happened that day ever since.
However despite knowing this, Ichika knew something else himself that he was certain would make Jackson realise that although he questioned his place as a friend to him and the other... he didn't have to worry about that guilt changing anything about what the others thought of him.
"Well as I was about to say before you jumped to conclusion, Jake." Ichika said as he got up from his bed with his hands in his pockets and meets Jake eye to eye.
"You even came to us after what happened... instead of hiding from us. The others believe that was far from an easy thing to do for anyone considering what happened and that alone convinces them that you were being sincere about your apology you gave to us for what happened. But you didn't just come with an apology... you gave up a valuable asset that belonged to you to help us heal and recover from our injuries much sooner."
Ichika reaches a hand out and placed it on Jake's shoulder.
"You wouldn't have done that if you didn't feel like a friend to us Jake... and after what you did for us, you proved once again through the sheer kindness, selflessness and good nature that you've obviously worked ever so hard on to show us since you arrived here. You're a good man... and a good friend to all of us, even if you think you aren't."
Jake turns his head away from Ichika, still finding it hard himself to believe how true what his roommate was saying. That was when he felt Ichika's hand pat his shoulder.
"Me and my friends already said we forgive you for what happened and have put it behind us... so you should do the same, JJ. There's no need to let this worry you when it can easily be forgotten about." Ichika said through a faint smile to Jake.
However after what he just said, Jackson turns to face him again with a more serious expression on his face than earlier.
"Forgotten about... You really think it's that easy for me to forget that?" Jake said as he picks Ichika's hand off his shoulder.
Ichika felt a faint pang in his chest, hoping that he hadn't somehow angered Jake with what he just said. However instead he just looks at Jake as he sighs heavily and looks back at him in a calm manner.
"Ichika... As much as I want to, I can't just forget about it. That side of me has been a part of me for longer than I can remember... and that day I nearly lost control of it was just another close call that will forever remind me that I am not the man I use to be and nor can I forget that."
Jake lifts his right hand up and stares blankly at it, picturing the scales and claws of his inner demon that he knew were hiding under the flesh of his hand, then turns back to Ichika.
"So you see Ichika, I can't just forget about what happened like you guys seem to be able to... Because unlike you lot, I'm the one that the monster is living in... It seems that you and your friends have forgotten that as well. But I haven't, nor will I ever forget... because that side of me refuses to let me forget its there, clawing under my skin or whispering in my mind... Every... single... day."
Ichika stood there silent for a short period of time, taking in what Jake had said and couldn't help but feel even more sympathetic for his roommate. He hadn't ever thought of asking Jake how long this darker side of him had been around because to him it felt like it was far beyond his right to ask such a personal question.
When Jake first appeared on the scene of things he definitely had him and his friends fooled into never suspecting that this alternate side of him he never dared to let anyone see ever existing... Unfortunately that secret was never kept hidden and he and his friends had bared witness to a side of Jackson that he cursed himself for having.
But as their conversation unfolded, it was becoming ever more obvious to Ichika that this darker side of Jake had likely been around for longer than he had suspected himself. And now Ichika had started to feel a little bad about himself when he started to things the way Jake was seeing it.
He hadn't thought about how everything had affected Jake personally and didn't take into consideration that of course it would be far more difficult for him to forget any of what happened... This may have been he had seen Jake's darker side, but to Jake it was just another reminder to him that this side of him was there. Something Ichika hadn't properly thought of and now felt selfish for thinking he could get Jake to put what happened before behind him to be forgotten about.
"Well... I guess when you put it that way, I can see you point, Jake." Ichika said quietly, rubbing the back of his head as he said so.
"Hmm, Thought so." Jake muttered as he looked away form Ichika, folding his arms as he did so.
"Well regardless, Jake... I consider you the same friend I've known since we met. So regardless of how you feel... I'll always listen if you need to talk to someone-."
"I DON'T NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO!"
Ichika is startled as Jake suddenly snapped at what he had just said to him.
He had been so startled by this that Ichika stumbled back and falls backwards onto his bed and could only look back to see Jake glaring back at him, his teeth gritted and fists clenched up as he had clearly been angered by his last sentence.
Jake stands there quietly for a moment, the only sound of his heavy breathing could be heard. He had heard enough of this (need someone to talk to) thing one too many times and finally lost his temper with it a little. However as he looks down at Ichika who was still laid back on his mattress with a cautious and shocked expression on his face... Jake soon realised that he might have been a little too harsh there.
He knew that it wasn't really Ichika's fault for trying to help change his mood and shouting at him like that wasn't really needed. And with that thought in mind, Jake's angered expression softens and he lets out a heavy sigh, sitting back down on his bed and burying his face in his palms as Ichika sits back up again after seeing that his roommate seemed to have calmed down a little bit.
"Sorry, Ich..." Jake said, his voice muffled by his palms as he apologises to Ichika for snapping like that.
"It's fine, Jake... Sorry I seemed to have pushed you a little too far." Ichika replies, apologising himself for his own actions.
"Look... I know people want to help me, but its been a bit of a long day... A lot has happened, there's a lot that I've had to think about and try to sort out... and I'm not sure how long I have to do it... And everyone reminding me that I have people I can talk to if needed isn't really helping me. I don't really want to talk about anything right now... I just want to get some peace, quiet and rest to clear my mind a bit so I can figure a few things out."
Jake said as he lifts his head out of his palm, he didn't want to go into any real detail about what he meant by (things he needed to sort out) seeing that it would raise even more questions from Ichika if he knew exactly where he had been earlier today and what he encountered in those labs that he fought his way into, or what he learned regarding old foes that he had personally taken the task of somehow destroying.
But what he had said was more than enough for Ichika to understand and gives Jake a slight nod of his head as he gets up from his bed.
"That's alright, Jake." Ichika said as he picks up his I.S textbook from the end of his bed. "If you need to some peace, I'll just head out for a now."
"Head out, and where would you be going at this time?" Jake asked curiously, wondering what Ichika was planning.
"I'll just head out for a walk, get some fresh air." Ichika said as he puts his textbook back on the shelf where he kept his classwork stored. "That way you can have some time to yourself to relax."
Jake pauses for a second before looking back at the window behind him and seeing that the thunderstorm was still pouring down on the Academy, which was made more apparent by the flash of lightening that lit the room and followed by the clash of thunder.
"Ichika... it's literally raining cats and dogs out there right now... I know I said I wanted some peace but you don't have to go out into that for me to get it." Jake said as he turns back to Ichika, pointing over his shoulder at the obvious bad weather that was outside.
"It's fine Jake, I could use the time out the room, besides... there are plenty of pathways round the campus that are covered by the treeline, so I can stay out of the storm for the most part." Ichika said as he gave Jake a smile and picks out an umbrella from the side of his bed. "Besides... I got this to keep me covered."
Jackson could only shake his head a little as he found a small smile himself to give back to Ichika. It was hard to believe he was willing to go walking into a thunderstorm to give him some time to himself... but he could only appreciate his roommates kindness.
"Thanks Ich, just don't catch a cold out there." Jake said in a jokey tone.
Ichika chuckles at him and with a few last words between one another, Ichika makes his way to the door to leave Jake in peace. However just before he walks round the corner, he stops and looks back over his shoulder at Jackson.
"JJ, there's one last thing I'd like to say before leaving."
"Hmm." Jake said as he looks back at Ichika.
"There's always someone that you can trust enough to talk about anything... I know that it probably isn't me, but when you think you found that person... don't let them slip by... Or you may end up bottling up yourself for longer than you need to."
Jake sat silently on his bed for a second to think about that bit of advice from his roommate. It wasn't like he was trying to get him to talk like earlier but more like he rather he was giving Jake a shred of advice that he could take and use on his own accord instead.
"I'll be sure to keep that in mind Ich, thanks." Jake said, giving Ichika a faint nod of his head.
Ichika returns the nod and with what he wanted said now done with, he disappears round the corner of the room and the sound of the door opening and shutting echo's out to indicate that he had left the room.
Jake sat quietly as he hears Ichika's footsteps grow fainter as he walks away and when they could no longer be heard, Jake sighs heavily to himself as he gets up from his bed.
Without saying anything, he decided that it would help him if he takes a shower and clean up, seeing as he hadn't had the chance to do so yet. Jackson walks over to his wardrobe, shedding himself of his I.S Academy blazer as he did so. Placing his Blazer on a hanger he starts browsing through his clothes for a fresh pair to wear after showering.
However as he does so, he could feel the presence of a familiar figure that had now entered the room... and Jake stops what he was doing.
"What is it, Tohka?" He asked, not turning around as he knew that it was Tohka, who had chosen now to reappear in the room after staying out of Jake and Ichika's conversation earlier... However Jake was more than aware that she would have heard everything that had been said.
"Orimura is right you know, Jake... You can't bottle yourself up forever." Tohka said as she leans against Jake's desk.
Jake remained still for a moment, still refusing to turn back and look at his virtual co-pilot as he was in no mood right now for her to be lecturing him now about what he's been keeping to himself after just sorting the same issue out with everyone else.
"You know this is my issue alone, Tohka." Jake said as he continues to gather his clothes from his wardrobe. "There is no need to put any of the weight I'm carrying on the shoulders of Orimura... or his friends."
"And if you keep going the way you're going... That weight will eventually crush you, Jake." Tohka said, her voice carrying a worried tone as she felt concerned for her Pilots current state.
"I'm fine, Tohka... I just need to find some peace to think things through... because you know that what we discovered at that Lab cannot be allowed to continue." Jake said as he picks up the last bit of clothing he needed and turns around to face Tohka.
"Hmm." Was all Tohka could say as she gazes away from Jake.
She remembered the chilling events herself while on mission with Jake... The labs, the C-S-S-U's, the Super Stryker Unit, the Raven Heads and their obvious ties to government organisations... but most of all... the twisted truth about what was happening to those poor children that were tricked by them into going to that lab... to suffer such a torturous fate and be forced into such cruelty was something that she just could not come to ignore.
"First we have to take down these child killing bastards... then put a stop to the Cyber initiative... and after that has been sorted." Jake pauses for a brief second, causing Tohka to turn back and meet eyes with him.
"We finish what we started with Raven Head... After that is finally done with, the weight I carry will no longer weigh down on me like it always has done. I know it's far from easy, or that it's far from finished... but until I put every last Raven Head back bellow the dirt, and stop them once and for all... I'm not stopping either."
After saying this, Jake walks past Tohka as he intended to leave her be and go for his shower. However as he gets halfway across the room, Tohka's body breaks into light particles and whiz around Jake's body to pass by him and she reappears in front of him to stand between him and the bathroom.
"And how do you plan on doing that, Jake." Tohka said in a questioning tone as she folds her arms at him. "Neither of us know where to begin with this task and even if we did you can't expect me to believe you can take on Global Enforcement and the Raven Heads on your own... Not with the damage that's been done to you still lingering and effecting you."
"What do you mean by that." Jake said bluntly as he stares at Tohka, unsure by what she was getting at.
"You forget, Jake... It isn't Just your I.S that I am tasked with monitoring." Tohka said sternly towards Jake.
Jackson gives off a faint huff through his nose, almost sounding like a low growl of some sorts... He now knew exactly what Tohka was referring to now, and was not happy about it.
"As your Co-pilot and personal A.I. It is my soul purpose to insure that not just the I.S. But the pilot is in top condition to perform whatever task you're set to the best of your ability, but make sure that it does not inflict any lasting damage upon you... Physically and emotionally."
Tohka glances past Jake at his desktop system, where she had quietly been most of the time... going over the data that she had gathered and stored on Jake's condition after the mission today and compared it with his data from past missions and was now growing concerned of the pattern that her data was starting to show on her pilot.
"And yes... you may still be in good fighting condition, and able to operate (Storm Ghost) without any issues... but right now that's only the case if your task doesn't involve going after Raven Head. You're in no state to take them on by yourself like you intend to do so... you're far too unstable."
"You're going to trust Data and numbers over me." Jake said in a low growling tone.
He was completely aware that Tohka was capable of monitoring his body both physically and psychologically, and that her ability to notice even the slightest change from the pace of his heartbeat to the condition of his vital organs, thanks to her highly sensitive equipment that linked her to Jake, this was also something that he had never had a real concern for.
What was bothering him that it was sounding like she was using this data that she has collected on him as a means to try and prevent him from doing what he intended regarding the task of stopping Raven Head... by making him question if he was mentally stable enough to successfully do so without bringing any harm to himself... something that she didn't seem to believe that he was ready to do... not on his own at least.
The thought of her not believing in his own ability herself... his own personal A.I. and long known virtual friend that he'd spent many years working and bonding with during his service with FEISAR. Inc... was an honestly disappointing feeling for Jake that he could feel weigh down on him slightly, thinking that she should have known him long enough to know that her data hasn't always been completely right about him.
"It's not that I don't trust you, Jake." Tohka said softly as she shakes her head at him.
She knew herself that Jake was strong... stronger than he probably knew himself. She'd seen it herself thanks to the data that she had painstakingly collected over years of working and living around Jackson. To learn and understand him inside out and know how to react to every situation that he faced in order to keep her beloved pilot and friend safe, like a guardian angel of some sorts helping him along the way.
But there was one thing that she could not keep Jake safe from... Something that even drove fear itself into her every time she witnessed it... Something that she hated to admit that despite her vast technological advancements, she was at the same time powerless to have any control over.
And that one thing... Was Jack the Ripper.
Tohka looks back at Jake and meets eyes with him.
"It's because I am afraid of (Jack)." She said in a worried tone. "I know that you are a strong person, you have proved that time and time again in the years I have known you... but (Jack) is just as strong as well, and that is what scares me about him."
As Tohka speaks, Jackson just stares emotionlessly at her.
"He can't hurt you, Tohka... He can't even physically touch you. I don't quite understand how you can be afraid of something you are practically untouchable to... Nor do I understand how that has anything to do with any of your Data that you have collected on me over the years." Jake said bluntly, finding it rather struggling to understand exactly what Tohka was trying to imply by comparing her Data towards some strange fear she had towards the darker side of him, that in his opinion was completely incapable of harming her.
Seeing herself that Jake was not getting her point, Tohka lets off a faint sigh as she slowly stepped towards Jake until she was standing right in front of him, her dark purple eyes and worried expression meeting with the less emotional look that her pilot had on his face.
"It's not because he can't touch me, Jake." She said quietly, the thought of what was worrying her circling in her mind.
"It's because I can't touch him."
"Huh?" Jake muttered in confusion after hearing her say this.
"Jake, when I'm in Storm Ghost with you I can aid you with every procedure I have at my disposal." She said as she kept her gaze locked onto his. "Whether its maintaining your I.S. and keeping her battle ready at any time or keeping you up to date with every aspect of a battlefield, or even watching over your back to protect you."
Jackson was still unaware of what Tohka was getting at with her words and continued to look straight into his eyes. However she then looked down at his chest and gently placed her hand on him.
"But despite this... I am powerless to help this part of you." She said softly as she gazed back up at Jake, who was still unsure of what her point was yet.
"This part of me?" Jake said as he looked at Tohka's hand placed on his chest.
"Yes." Tohka nods at him.
"Because you aren't a machine like Storm Ghost, nor are you a data bank or computer system that I can sift through and fix anything I detect from within... You're flesh and blood, you're human... and that has put you out of my reach."
Tohka then gave a faint sigh of despair as she glances back at Jackson.
"And that as well has put me out of (Jack's) reach... Don't you see Jake, if something bad happened to you and in the worst case, (Jack) re-emerged... there's nothing I could do to help you... to potentially save you."
Before Jake could say anything in response, Tohka places both her hands on either side of his head.
"If I had the power to reach into your head right now and pull that monster out of there and free you from whatever torment he has subjected you to for all these years, believe me I would do it in an instant." She said as she releases her hands from his head and takes a step back, a look of grief washing over her as she did so.
"But I can't... and to make the matter even worse, if something happened and you became trapped within yourself trying to contain (Jack), what happens if you failed to control him... all I could do by that point is helplessly watch him consume you and everything you stand for and feel powerless as that monster drags you down into the depths of your own mind to the point where you may never come back."
Jake stood there in silence for a few moments, the thoughts of Tohka's words sinking in and finally making sense to him. He had began to realise that the main focus behind Tohka's lack of belief in his ability to carry out his mission was entirely based around the fact that she had zero control over the one factor of the entire situation that posed a threat to not only the success of the task at hand but a threat to Jake's very life. He was already aware that his inner demon was a serious problem that only he had any power over or ability to control if needed.
However at he same time he knew that it wasn't impossible for his darker side to show signs of being capable of overpowering him as well. And this was not the first time that the fear of witnessing what that monster contained within him would be capable of if unchained and in full control of himself had crept into Jake's head. But it was also that fear that of losing complete control that had kept Jake fighting with everything he had to insure that such a thing would never have the chance to repeat itself, and with that thought in mind he looks back at Tohka with a firm expression on his face.
"I get your point, Tohka... but just because you're powerless to stop (Jack) doesn't mean that so am I... and can we really afford to be going back and forth about this when there is a more pressing matter at hand regarding putting down Raven Head, before any more innocent kids are cut up and turned into mechanised killing machines." Jake said sternly as he protest his point that his own mental capabilities were not the main concern in this situation.
Tohka scoffs at her pilot, starting to lose her patients herself with how stubborn Jake was being in this argument and refusing to think about his own wellbeing and the risk that he posses on himself by partaking in such a dangerous mission all on his own without any aid from his squadron or anyone else as a matter of fact.
"And can we really afford to take such a colossal risk like this as well, Jake?" She retorts, holding her arms up to him in frustration.
"How are you going to even start something this crazy... Global Enforcement have headquarters placed in every major city across the globe... all of them protected by U.S. Laws and jurisdictions." She continues as she points out some of the key factors that implied that this mission of Jake's was both impossible and insane.
"If you attack even one of these headquarters you'll gain the undivided attention of the rest of them... and they don't even have to respond to you Jackson, they'll sue FEISAR. Inc for unlawful actions and acts of terrorism against U.S. property and then that'll be it... you could bring down everything you and your squadron built together if you do something this reckless."
Jake pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration as he listens to Tohka rant on about every reason that he shouldn't do this commit this mission without any aid or proper planning, but by this point he was in no mood to be talked out of this. After what he had witnessed in that lab earlier today there was nothing that laws and jurisdictions were going to do to stop him from putting an end to this cyber initiative one way or another.
"That won't happen Tohka... not if they can't pin me to FEISAR directly, remember Storm Ghost is still very much under the public radar so seeing an I.S. attack on public news won't directly lead the blame to FEISAR themselves... And there's no way Global Enforcement will go out of there way to press charges if we're attacking them for something that they are well aware of as illegal as well. So you see, the very nature of this mission and the subject that is the cause of the entire ordeal is acting as our cover to protect are own company while taking down Raven Head as well."
Tohka began to pace the floor in front of Jake as she got more drawn into this debate against her own pilot. After hearing Jake speak it had become clear as day to her that even in the brief amount of time that it had taken from Jake's discovery to where they are now that he had clearly been thinking of a way to logically pull this off without drawing FEISAR into the flack of this mess in the process. And although she knew it herself she didn't admit it in front of Jake, but he was had a valid point... In the eyes of both the public and very much the PMC industry, Storm Ghost was very much a ghost in the mix of everything due to very minimal public and media exposure... meaning that even if Jake was seen with his I.S. attacking a part of Global Enforcement, there wasn't any known corporate ties that could link him to FEISAR, meaning so long as he avoided capture it would be very difficult for anyone to pin the attacks on anyone other than himself.
"Okay, okay... so because there isn't a way to directly tie you or Storm Ghost to FEISAR, that at least means there is no immediate threat of the company getting sued into oblivion." Tohka said as she dusts over some of the more solid facts that Jake had managed to put out for her. However that did not mean that she was seeing any sense in the idea of Jake still trying to attempt this mission.
"But what about Global Enforcements response to your actions, Jake." She said as she placed her palms on her hips and looked at him with a stern expression glued to her face, curious to hear what Jake had in response to that question.
"Even with their budget and security measures... they just don't have the resources, money or man power to protect every headquarter that they own." Jake said in full confidence.
"I can agree with you that if we went after a headquarter that was fully guarded by every spare security unit and cybernetic stryker unit that they had then yes, the chances of success would be far below acceptable levels... But they can't pose that threat to us if they can't figure out when and where we choose to attack. And even if they did spread their resources amongst every base and headquarter they owned, that would never be enough to protect any of them from a full on assault from Storm Ghost."
Tohka stands in front of Jake looking almost completely dumbfounded at what she was hearing from her pilot. She still couldn't believe just how in depth Jake had went into planning out this mission in such a small period of time while currently engaged in a separate mission at the same time. However that still had not convinced her that this mission was a good idea in any stretch of the imagination and it seemed that the only way to talk Jake out of the entire thing was to keep trying to argue the risks and dangers that this task posed were far too great to even consider attempting without at least proper planning or at the very most discussing this matter with FEISAR and requesting his squadron to help.
"Look, Jake... even though we hold the advantage of remaining off the radar. And even though Global Enforcement would have no idea which headquarter we could hit at anytime... that advantage won't last forever." Tohka said, stating the obvious fact that sooner or later Jake's plan would be uncovered before it could get anywhere close to completed.
But Jackson just kept his firm expression with him.
"It doesn't have to last forever Tohka." He said as he shrugged his shoulders at her. "Just long enough to do enough damage to Global Enforcement so that they will shut down the cyber initiative or risk the entire PMC getting shut down as a whole."
"Jackson..." Huffed Tohka as she pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "Do you have any idea how long it would take us to inflict that level of damage on Global Enforcement in order to push them into that situation... they are bound to figure out who we are and where we're from before we get anywhere near our goal..."
Then Tohka glares at Jake with a stern look on her face as she points a finger at him.
"Besides... no matter how well thought out you think you've made this crazy idea of a plan, you've missed one very important factor that would not only threaten the entire situation, but also ourselves as well as the whole of FEISAR Inc."
Jake tilted his head to the side in confusion at what Tohka was trying to imply.
"Oh did I? Then why not enlighten me, Tohka, what factor am I missing." He asked as he looked at his holographic co-pilot, waiting to hear her answer.
Tohka just stares at Jake and folds her arms at him as she gives him her answer.
"Raven Head... We know from what we discovered at that lab today that they are heavily tied in with Global Enforcement regarding the cyber initiative. And my best guess is that they are being hired off the books by Global Enforcement, not just as the ones that carry out all their dirty work like the organ harvesting operation, but also as their security regarding the entire cyber initiative... so tell me Jake, where in this so called plan of yours have you taken into account that at any point after we attack so much as one Global Enforcement headquarter... Raven Head will undoubtedly be aware of what's going on and focus on locating us."
Jake remains silent for a few moments, waiting to see if there was anything else Tohka wanted to add to her theory. However after a moment of silence between the two of them he just let out a faint sigh at her.
"Then we deal with them, if and when Tohka... we both know that they are a mercenary division so if Global Enforcement uses them to try and stop us, then they would be drastically slowed down by the fact that any evidence that ties them to Global Enforcement would be disastrous for the PMC, so attacking us directly while we are attacking a headquarter would be out of the question. The only chance that they got of stopping us is to confront us between the attacks, so if we go off radar after each strike the chances of them finding us are lowered."
"You can't seriously think that we can avoid them for the entirety of this crazy mission, Jake." Tohka yells in frustration, her arms flailing around as she is completely unable to understand how Jake was being so blunt and non caring about such a dangerous threat that they both knew there was no way to ignore.
"I never said we had to avoid them." Jake said to shut down Tohka's last statement.
"Raven Head is as big a part of this mission as the cyber initiative... and they have to be put down for good as well to insure no more innocent lives are ripped away from this world by them. Besides, we've encountered Raven Head before in the past and we have proven multiple times that the I-S-X-C-S is superior to them... We've shut down operations run by them many times over, cut down their expendable C-S-S-U's and if you remember, Tohka... I took out one of their lead commanders, so if they want to take me head on... then I say bring it on."
After listening to her pilots words, Tohka just lets out a heavy sigh and turns her head away from Jake... as she knew that what she was about to say next was not going to be easy, nor was it something she knew Jake would want to hear... but in order to keep her point of the matter alive she was going to have do it regardless. And with that thought in mind her expression stiffens up as she furrows her brow and looks back at Jake.
"One." She said in a lower tone than usual.
"Huh?" Jake said, not quite catching what she said to him.
"ONE!... You only defeated one of their top commanders... and statistically she was the weakest of the lot of them." Tohka suddenly let out in a sudden burst of anger.
Jake was almost taken off guard by her outburst, unsure of what it was that had made her suddenly change her tone with him so drastically. However the fact that she was calling out the fact the commander he had put down was the weakest seemed to have captured Jakes attention as he furrows his brow at her as well.
"What's your point with that, Tohka?" He asked as he folds his arms at her.
"Jake... I'm not doubting the fact that you are the strongest member of the I-S-X-C-S... but that doesn't mean that Raven Head isn't harbouring members of their group that are strong as well... And when you took out Kurumi, it was just you and her in a one on one, I mean yeah she had some tripod drones to aid her but that's hardly an advantage in muscle or firepower and-"
"Tohka, could you please get to the point." Jake said to interrupt her, as he had began to grown tired of her dragging out this argument with all her facts and just wanted her to get to the main point.
Tohka huffs at Jake as she didn't enjoy being cut off like that but decided to do as he asked and get to the point with him.
"My point is, Kurumi was the weakest out of all Raven Heads top commanders and she was still able to put up a tough fight when it was just the two of you... you can't expect them to give you such an advantage again... and we have very little data on the strengths and capabilities of the other leaders of Raven Head, so how can you be sure that you can hold your own against more than one of them... especially in the condition that you are currently in."
Jake just scoffs at Tohka as he glances away from her for a moment, he knew that she had a fair point that Raven Head would unlikely just send one commander after him if he committed to this mission, and he couldn't deny that she was right that it was a major risk considering that they also had very little data and statistics that helped them understand the capabilities of the remaining members of Raven Head. But Jackson was already committed in his mind that this mission had to be done, after what he witnessed happening inside that lab was all he needed to determine that regardless of how dangerous or crazy it sounded.
he refused to let anything get in the way of what he believed was the right thing to do, regardless of his own condition and how much it put his own wellbeing in danger... knowing that the lives of more innocent children like Sabrina were at risk, there was no time to be wasted just arguing about what was right or wrong.
"And what about Vixen?" Tohka suddenly said, to catch Jakes attention again.
The sound of that name froze Jake in his place as he felt a burning sensation sweep over his body, the disgust and hatred that Jake carried for the one known as Vixen was swirling within his mind and had never left since she made her acquaintance, but what he wasn't understanding was why was Tohka bringing her up now of all times.
"What about her." Jake said coldly, clearly disrupted by the though of talking about her.
"Although my data collected on her is far from an ideal amount needed to make any bold claims... its undeniable that Vixen is by far the strongest member of the Raven Head mercenary organisation, considering she is the only one that has been able to pose a serious threat to us... Do you really think that you can take her out alone Jake, without the aid of your squadron... and worse facing her when she clearly has the advantage over you when it comes to being battle focused."
Then Tohka glances down at a part of Jake's body that bared a grim memory for herself, only to look back at Jake with seriousness in her eyes as she spoke to him again.
"I can't just stand here and say that facing her will be a successful encounter right now... considering the damage she inflicted on you back in South Africa." She said with a faint sense of despair in her voice as she recalls that incident that occurred only a few years ago during a previous mission with Jake.
Jake stood there in silence as Tohka's grim words of a reminder swept over him, for he had also never forgotten about what had happened during both the first and last time he and Vixen crossed paths with each other, and he could only let off a faint growl under his breath as he glances down at his left arm, remembering exactly how their engagement ended.
"Be that as it may, Tohka." Jake said in a muffled tone under his breath before looking back at her.
"This does not change my mind on the mission at hand."
At that point, Tohka had finally lost her patience with Jake. She could no longer keep track of how long the two of them had been going back and fourth with each other on this situation, every time she tried to state the obvious facts that the mission was too dangerous and far from legal, Jake either counter argued or just straight up ignored her advise and she had finally reached the point where she couldn't stand here anymore and just bicker with him when it was plainly clear that he wasn't listening.
"For the love of god, Jake... How dumbfoundedly arrogant can you be?!" She yells out in frustration as she points an accusing finger straight at Jake.
"Arrogant!? who the hell are you calling arrogant." Jake retorts in frustration.
"You goddamnit." Tohka yells at him again.
"I mean for christ sake we've gone back and fourth on this stupid argument and we've gotten nowhere. I mean seriously I've known you to be stubborn from time to time but this is just ridiculous even for you, Jake... I've given you every single reason, both subtle and obvious that this mission is far too vast and dangerous for you to carry out alone... not to mention you'd be in violation of multiple state and federal laws that protect Global Enforcement which is bad enough."
Jake starts to feel his patents grow thin as Tohka yells at him, his eyebrow twitching faintly as he just closes his eyes and tries to keep his head cool as his personal A.I. continues to unload on him.
"Not to mention that the moment you even try and commit to this absurd plan, you will undoubtedly attract the attention of Raven Head and we do not yet know the full extent of their capabilities which would be bad enough if you were planning on taking them on with help, but alone and giving them the advantage of picking when they could strike is just beyond reckless."
"Reckless as it may be, we don't have the time to be messing around deciding what's the right way or the safest way... This is the only way that we can do this right now, and even if its the most dangerous and not fully legal I don't care, Tohka... I have to still try." Jake snaps back, silencing Tohka midway through her rant.
With that said, Jake had finally had enough of this rant and decided there that he was going to leave it at that and go for his shower that he'd originally planned on before Tohka had dragged him onto this pointless debate. He picks his clean clothes up and makes his way past Tohka, completely ignoring the fact that she was still trying to argue with him.
However just as he was about to open the bathroom door, Tohka yells something that he never thought he'd hear.
"Sabrina didn't work so hard to help you, just to see you destroy yourself like this."
Her outburst stops Jake dead in his tracks just as he had put his hand on the bathroom door handle. Tohka states blankly at Jake, who still kept his back turned to her.
She knew very clearly just what sort of reaction her outburst could bring out of Jake, but by now she was beyond treating the situation delicately and had resorted to being as blunt as she possibly could with him.
And she soon saw that her method seemed to have worked as Jake's hand releases the door handle and falls back to his side.
Before slowly clenching up into a fist.
"Tohka." He said in a low tone, his back still facing her. "You better watch what you say to me."
Tohka swallows dryly, she was now fully aware that her outburst had frustrated Jackson. However she keeps her composure straight and stood her ground. She knew that she couldn't back down now after bringing this topic up again.
"And if I decide not to this time." She retorts, folding her arms at Jake as she does so.
Jake stood in silence for a few moments. At first he was surprised by this sudden outburst of bravery from Tohka, he knew that she would normally argue her point of any discussion but she's never usually challenged him like this. However it didn't change the fact that he was annoyed by what she had just said to him. And with that thought in mind he glances back over his shoulder to look at Tohka, his emerald green eye glaring at her.
"Then can consider yourself muted until further notice." He said bluntly, thinking that would be enough to end Tohka's little tantrum... however to his surprise, Tohka grits her teeth and clenched her fists together at him.
"You cannot keep threatening to silence me every time I have to tell you something that you don't want to hear." Tohka said sternly.
However Jake just scoffs at her as he fully turns around to face her, folding his arms as he did so.
"Oh can't I now, so tell then Tohka... If you know that its something that I don't want to hear, then why are you so persistent in telling me then?" Jake said as he glares at his A.I. deciding that if Tohka was going to go this far to argue with him he would at least give her one more chance to display her point to him.
Tohka takes a second to breath, feeling the tension of what she was about to say boiling within her. And with her composure calmed down she took a deep breath.
"You should be aware of this Jake, but I'll remind you... When Sabrina programmed me to be your personal A.I... She requested one thing of me."
"And that is." Jake asked as he raises a brow to her.
"To protect you... And help keep you safe from any situation that have a high chance of you not surviving, meaning that unless my data and calculations gave me a reason to believe that anything you plan on doing is both possible and survivable... It is my duty to protest with you that if something is too dangerous for you to do alone." Tohka said, her voice still carrying a stern tone, but it seemed to have calmed down a bit. Like she was still frustrated but wanted Jake to understand that it wasn't him directly that she was mad at.
"She... programmed you to protect me?" Jake asked, unable to fully grasp what she was getting at with him.
"No." Tohka shakes her head at him.
"She never programmed me, Jake... She requested it of me before you were finally authorised to take control as Storm Ghosts pilot."
Tohka then took a step towards Jake and placed a hand on his chest again, and although her touch was lifeless... Jake could suddenly feel the emotion in her words as she spoke towards him again.
"Jake... I'm not telling you not to do this mission because of some stupid programming that forces me to do so... I'm telling you because I care about you and I don't want you to do something so reckless that it could kill you."
Just then Tohka removes her hand from Jake's chest and steps back, her eyes soften as she locks her fingers together.
"You're more than just my pilot, Jake... You're my closest friend, and because of that... I can't just stand here and willingly let you go out on something as suicidal as this mission."
Tohka's gaze softens even more as she keeps her eyes locked on Jakes.
"Because you've come so far over the years that you've been a part of FEISAR. You are their most skilled pilot, you lead the greatest squadron of young pilots that look up to you as their leader, you've helped protect the lives of some many by carrying out your duties and overcome so many challenges and missions with your squadron by your side... but most of all."
Jake spots the faintest of smiles finally appear Tohka's.
"You helped Sabrina manage to finally accomplish a lifelong task that she had slaved over for years... You came along and she finally found her pilot for Storm Ghost. For years she thought she would never find someone that could reach the compatibility requirement needed to to even be accepted by Storm Ghost let alone pilot it. Over the years I watched you and Sabrina painstakingly build up Storm Ghost, you put all your effort into testing new programs and working out what type of role you were going to fit your I.S. to be... I was so happy to have been a part of all of that and work with you, so you see Jake... You can't just leave your squadron behind and throw all that progress you and Sabrina worked so hard to gain away like this. It just isn't who you really are."
Just then, Tohka reaches her arms out in a way to gesture Jake back towards her, like a guiding spirit reaching out to a lost soul... a soft smile gracing her face.
"So I ask of one last time, please Jake... do not act so rashly and take on this mission all by yourself... we can think of something together, and with just a little extra time we can at least come up with a plan that will be more successful and still save so many lives."
Tohka looks at her pilot with bright beaming eyes, hoping that she had finally talked some sense into Jake and convince him not to go on such a crazy mission alone... However as the two of them stand quietly in the room, Tohka's smiling expression soon fades away as Jake turns his head slightly away from her, his hair trailing over to cover his eye as he let out a heavy sigh.
"You never really understood, did you Tohka." Jake asked her as he looks down at the floor in despair.
"Huh?" was all that Tohka could respond with as her arms back down to her sides.
"Tohka... I know how dangerous this mission is... and I know that it would be better to involve my squadron to increase the survival rate, but."
Jake pauses for a minute as he thinks about the reason he was being so reluctant to allow anyone to aid him on this mission, the smouldering memories of a dark segment of his past sweeping over his mind as he closed his eye briefly and let out a sigh as he looks back at Tohka, who now looking more confused than anything now.
"But I cannot risk the lives of my squadron on a mission that I alone must take." He said calmly.
"But... Why Jake, why must you do this alone?" Asked Tohka, wanting to know the reason behind Jake's desire to take on the mission alone.
Jake just gazed at her calmly as he took a deep breath and collected his thoughts for her.
"Because Raven Head... is my problem, Vixen is my problem... and it's not my squadrons responsibility to risk themselves like that to sort my problem... Look... the truth is Tohka..."
(Clack)
Suddenly Jake and Tohka's attention was drawn to the sound of the room door slowly creaking opening as someone had entered the room.