Chapter Twelve: "Confessions"

Whatever I had done to earn Padmé's respect and assistance, I hoped I kept doing it. Without her help, I don't know where I'd be. Most likely, dead. Sitting next to her in the cockpit of her private vessel was like a dream. Maybe it was. Maybe I was still strapped into the Chair of Pain and was coping by envisioning her lovely face.

"You all right?" she asked me tenderly.

At least I hoped it was tender and not just a gesture of empathy.

"I'm fine," I promised, returning my attention to the datascreen before me. "Ossus appears to have mountains, jungles, caves, and wastelands," I read to her. She probably already knew this. She seemed to know everything and had led such a rich and full life. "There are tribal natives that keep to themselves as long as they aren't disturbed. It looks like the Temple and Library are located on the outskirts of the wastelands in the Ooroo Canyon. We should land there and avoid the spaceport," I suggested.

"I agree," Padmé replied, altering the navigation to align with my decision. She hadn't even questioned me about it or offered other options. She just took my word for it. Why? And why was I suddenly questioning her motives?

She glanced at me sideways, made a noise in her throat, and then activated the autopilot controls before spinning her chair around to face me.

"Something's obviously on your mind. What is it?"

Speaking with her about my feelings was going to be difficult. What if my worst fears came true? What if she was just being kind? As she would to any creature who needed help? What if what I was feeling for her was nothing more than an illusion, a response to her caregiving that would fade in time?

Deciding I must be brave in order to find out, I smiled at her and took a deep breath before taking the plunge.

"I just don't understand," I began, immediately noticing I had done nothing but confuse her, "why you're taking such risks to help me. I'm nothing but an underpaid and undervalued school instructor from Stewjon. I have very little to contribute to society, have no wealth or family to speak of. In short, I have nothing to offer you. In return for all of your assistance, I mean."

During my short, rather haphazard speech, her head had cocked to one side. She looked amused. I hadn't meant to be comical. I was actually being quite serious.

"Oh, Obi-Wan," she said in a way I'd never heard before. She spoke my name softly and musically as a bird might. "I've never asked you for anything in return because I don't expect anything. I actually don't want anything from you other than friendship."

She paused and gazed down at her white boots. "No. If we're going to be honest, then I might as well be brave enough to tell the whole truth. I don't want to be your friend."

Ouch. I wasn't expecting her to say that!

"I can tell by the look on your face that you mistook my meaning. Let me be clear. Friendship is not all that I desire from you. When we first met, I was immediately attracted to you by your looks. You're a very handsome man."

I cleared my throat nervously but somehow managed to maintain eye contact. There have been students in the past who had flirted with me, but nothing close to how attractive and accomplished Padmé was. She was a beautiful and successful woman! And she found me to be attractive?

"Go on," I suggested with a smirk.

She chuckled softly before continuing. "When I got to know you better, I admired your work ethic, your sense of duty and commitment, your loyalty, and your courage. You're constantly in my thoughts and dreams, and I'm hoping that perhaps someday we can be much closer than friends."

A lump had formed in my throat which made me suddenly unable to speak. If I couldn't express my thoughts, then I would show her what I felt.

I unstrapped myself from the chair with far less dignity than I'd wished, but the damn clip wouldn't budge. Finally, after freeing myself, I approached her and knelt on the floor. Never in my life had I imagined someone like her would want to have anything to do with me. I was a criminal who was now a fugitive! Why would she want to risk everything to be with me?

I closed my eyes to will away such negative thoughts. She had admitted freely what she felt and I wasn't going to allow my fears and doubts to interfere with that. I would accept it as truth, be as courageous as she believed me to be, and do what I had approached her to do in the first place.

Coming up on my knees, I leaned forward incrementally while gauging her reaction. Once her eyelids had drifted shut, I realized I had her permission and I gently brushed my mouth across hers. Her lips were as soft as I'd imagined they'd be and tasted just as sweet.

When I retreated, her body leaned forward. Whether it was an involuntary reaction or not, I wasn't going to ignore such an opportunity, and this time I lifted my hands to caress both sides of her face. I touched her mouth again with my own and tenderly coaxed her lips to part. The recesses of her mouth and her tongue were as soft as velvet and she tasted like sunshine and dewdrops. A sigh escaped her as I switched angles, and before I realized what was happening, she had slid from the pilot's chair and was now seated quite comfortably in my lap. My hands were firmly supporting her back, while hers had been placed behind my head and were now the ones guiding and controlling the kiss.

Once in a while, we would stop to catch our breath, only to delve in again more deeply than before. I would continue as long as she allowed, and had no idea how much time had actually passed before she finally pulled me against her and flung her arms about my neck.

"We'll figure this out, Obi-Wan," she spoke softly against my scalp. "Don't worry. Soon, we'll be free to be together and live as we should be allowed to."

I held her as tightly as I could without causing her discomfort, closed my eyes, and tried to envision a life with her. The idea wasn't as difficult to conjure up as I'd initially believed. I was amazed at how important she had come to be in such a short amount of time. So much so, in fact, that I couldn't imagine living my life without her.