The Journals
By Everleigh Allen
Chapter 11
Bella looked back at the journal in her hand once Alice and Esme left the room and realized she was alone again. It was something she was entirely too used to but it still left her a bit on edge.
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Bella placed a piece of the chocolate cookie in her mouth and chewed it carefully as she watched her grandmother. Her frail frame seemed misleading, to how spry the woman could be. She could remember a seventy or eighty year recipe but not her own daughter if she walked through the door. Most days Bella sat in silence or read aloud, but she always wondered if Gran could hear her.
But after a conversation with her mother about Gran, they knew their time together would soon be gone. Soon she'd succumb to the illnesses that plagued her, much to her dismay. The plain, drab white walls of the assisted living community Gran lived in matched the mood. There were no pictures of a life well lived, or the vibrant woman Bella remembered growing up.
"My mom said you used to be a painter. Did you paint landscapes or people, Gran?" Bella didn't know what to expect with her question or if Gran would even answer. The ceiling fan clicked after each rotation counting down each precious second soBella continued, "I mostly draw landscapes but sometimes people although I have to concentrate to get them symmetrical.Gran, do you have any of your paintings left? Can I see one?"
"I painted, yes."
Bella tried to contain her excitement that her gran was lucid. It wasn't often. "What did you paint?"
"I painted the most beautiful meadow."
"That sounds lovely."
"Flowers. Trees. I saw him once. He was just like I remembered."
Who?"
"He walked out of the meadow, just for a moment. I thought I was dreaming. Heaven sent an angel for me finally. "
Tears filled Bella's eyes as she held her grandmother's hand.
"Just as I remember him as a child. The clouds moved and I saw him change into his angel form right before my eyes before he slipped away into the trees. It wasn't my time to go yet." She frowned.
"Who greeted you? Grandfather?"
Marie's face turned hard and sharp eyes darted at Bella.
The answer written all over her face.
No.
"Who then- who's your angel?"
"It was cold. I shivered and he saw it. He never missed anything; every sound, every thought, every whisper. He gave me his quilt because I was cold."
Goosebumps covered Marie's flesh but she didn't seem to notice. Her eyes moved over the room as if she was searching for the mysterious man but when he wasn't there, she settled back into the chair with a sense of frustration.
"The same quilt you gave my mom when I was born?"
Marie's lips puckered in distaste like she usually did when her thoughts or words were sour. "I never gave that quilt to your mother, child. I gave it to you."
"Oh," Bella swallowed. "And when she lost it you stopped speaking to her."
Marie's eyes darted to Bella with a flash of anger. "I never stopped talking to my daughter. Is that what she told you?"
It was Bella's turn not to answer but it was written all over her face anyway.
Gran frowned and looked away from her granddaughter. "Well… She lied."
"I suppose she did." Bella agreed, but she knew that the phone worked both ways and there was a long period of time that the two stubborn women didn't speak. It didn't really matter anymore, nor did the reasons for why their relationship was strained. "Does your angel have a name, Gran? I bet he does. Please tell me."
"It's a secret." A small but mischievous grin graced her features and created stretching from her eyes and down her cheeks in memory. "I keep waiting for him. I know he has to have passed by now. Any day he'll come for me."
Bella watched her grandmother's eyes grow distant and knew instantly she was lost in her own thoughts and memories. Perhaps she was dreaming of her angel.
"Please tell me… just a name, anything."
"Who's name?"
"Your angel."
"Oh, simple," Gran chuckled. "Edward is my angel."
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Bella jolted as the door swung open behind her. Esme moved easily through the room so easily it almost looked like she was floating. "I didn't want to interrupt you. You looked like you were immersed in your thoughts."
"You didn't interrupt. I was just about to read the journal you both left when I started thinking of my grandmother."
"Ah, yes." Esme grinned. "I thought you already finished it. You've been sitting there a while."
"I have?" Bella looked around the room but there wasn't any clock to be seen. If it wasn't for meals, Bella wouldn't be able to tell how long she had been there.
The raindrops on the window reminded Bella of her memory with her Grandmother. "You said that you gave them each a quilt."
Esme grinned. "I did."
"And that Edward gave Marie his quilt."
Esme's eyes widened in surprise, "How did you know that?"
"Memories," Bella bit at her lip nervously, not sure how much she should say. But with Esme's kind resolve, she thought it would be best to just tell her recollection. "My Gran was older and was going to pass away. My mom had stopped visiting because she seemed to trigger my Gran that Renee wasn't who she said she was. Sometimes, my mother would sit just outside while I went in, but she finally stopped coming altogether. Gran didn't usually remember me most days, either, but she seemed to be lucid for a bit that day."
"I understand."
"She said when she was younger and cold, Edward gave her a quilt to keep her warm. She ended up keeping it and gifted it to my mother- I mean, to me- when I was born. It was lost at some point and we never really talked about it again. Renee didn't want to tell Gran that the quilt was lost."
"That's reasonable."
Bella nodded in agreement. "Apparently, my grandmother was a painter. I wanted to see her art. But if there were any of her paintings left, they weren't at the home she was in. My mother didn't remember seeing any of her art but I also wouldn't expect that she would keep it even if she did. My mother isn't very sentimental."
"A lot of parents aren't, but they may surprise you on what they consider sentimental." Esme whispered, cupping Bella's hand.
Bella just shrugged. "Gran said she painted a meadow. Anyway, she said that a man named Edward was her angel and he was going to come back to take her to Heaven. She wasn't speaking of my grandfather. She died before our next scheduled visit, but we did get to say goodbye."
"Heartbreaking. I would've loved to see her, myself." Esme rose from her chair abruptly. "Why don't you find a more comfortable spot to read the journal than in here? The parlor is just through that door and you will find that's it's already been warmed up for you."
A rush of excitement for being able to see another part of the home sent a thrill through Bella. She quickly grabbed the journal and the bottle of water that suddenly appeared before her.
She grinned as she grasped it and moved through the door Alice had showed her.
.
Bella walked into a room that looked like it faced the bustling Chicago street without anyone wiser of its existence. She could see through the stained glass window that there was another pane just outside it, tinted dark. It reminded Bella of mirrored glass. There was no doubt that the passersby would see themselves in the glass and think it was just another set of offices.
Then the thought crossed her mind of all the times she passed by the same mirrored glass windows, unaware of being watched from those inside.
Her goosebumps rushed over her skin giving a spike of fear based adrenaline.
The door swung open with a rush, diverting her attention from the window and Bella instantly moved towards the now open journal that sat on the chair by the fire as she passed a glance around the empty room. The dark blue walls tinged warmer by the fire gave off a false sense of comfort as Bella sat down. She saw a domed tray on the table before her and greedily opened it up with a grin on her face, eager to see whatever was left inside.
There were three chocolate cookies that Esme made and a bottle of water, but there was also a little note.
One little word written in the middle of the card:
"Soon,"
Bella read it aloud, her voice cracking in the silence. She chanced a glance behind her, hoping to see him again, but the wooden door was closed and she was alone.
.
Forks, Washington
1950
I was glad to see the sun through the clouds today, knowing that I didn't have to leave the house. Emmett and Rosalie went off to hunt sometime in the night leaving Esme, Carlisle, and me alone.
Esme wandered into the office. She had "retired" from being in the office and it was now completely in Annie Belle's care. We watched from afar as Marie grew up and left for California. The ocean "called for her," she said, and left too soon for us to say goodbye.
I already planned to make a trip or many to the Muir Woods area to see about getting some property along the northern California coast, if possible, and Esme was working on some plans that wouldn't take away from the scenery while also hiding us well enough to not feel like prisoners in our own home.
California or even Oregon would be a-
Wait.
I hear other voices nearby coming closer.
Carlisle and Esme instantly stilled but it was Esme who spoke. "What it Edward?"
"I can see from their minds they are like us." I said quietly. The female turns and smirks at a male. He looks like he's barely containing himself, eyes bright red. I can see scars lining his face, neck and they disappear under his clothing.
Carlisle and Esme flank my sides. I see the worry and the questions blur out the thoughts of the two coming closer.
"We have visitors coming and they are taking their time getting here."
Humans?" Esme asks, wiping the flour off of her hands with her apron before she takes it off.
"No,"
"Wolves?" Carlisle asks carefully, eyes narrowed and watching me and the door. His thoughts instantly turn to Emmett and Rosalie. Emmett tends to go a little too close to the treaty line just to taunt the wolves and give them something to do.
"No." That's enough to know.
"When?" Carlisle risks a glance at the clock and I look at it, too. In an instant I can see the female vampire see the clock in her mind but it skips several minutes. I shake my head in disbelief.
"Five minutes," I whisper, "they seem to know to avoid the wolves, not sure how. Perhaps the smell?"
"That's possible." Carlisle mused.
"Are they part of the guard, Edward? Are they friend or foe?"
I can't seem to tell yet. The woman flashes her face into my mind and I see her caramel colored eyes. I then see us opening the door to them and watch in disbelief as the female envelopes me into a hug as if we were long lost friends. She's tiny and her mate is protective. I relay the information presented to Carlisle and Esme.
"A psychic gift?" Esme gasps in delight while Carlisle starts plotting how this would be beneficial to our coven if they choose to stay with us.
I consider not opening the door and instantly I can see the vision she shows me in rapid speed change with my thought. "Huh."
"What?" Carlisle asks. Only his mouth moves, the rest of him in frozen in place on the rug.
"Her visions change as different thoughts make different choices. If I answer the door she'll give us a hug. If I choose to leave the door closed, they'll break it down and give us a hug."
"I just got that door, Edward. Emmett ruined the last three. Perhaps I will open it?"
"The vision changes and there is still hugging. It seems unavoidable. The female seems to have seen us from about thirty years ago when she woke up from her change."
It all plays out for me as I tell Carlisle and Esme like the stories played on the radio:
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"Oh no! No, no, no, no, no, no…" She whined, panic welling inside her gut. She woke up from the worst pain she has ever felt, her body writhing and burning in the darkness. She knew she must still be in solitary.
She must be.
She needed to get out of here.
Her breathing burst out of her chest in short panicked gasps. Her eyes seeing everything in the darkness, everything was in shades of purple, everything was quiet outside. She began rocking to comfort herself, her chest burning, literally burning her alive. Her brain couldn't comprehend it.
Her mind raced, taking everything in.
Metal door, purple room, padded grey. The smell of urine permeated in through her nostrils. Urine and old blood, dirt, vomit, body odor. It was the room. It was her. She was mortified. She cupped her hand over her mouth and nose, holding her breath. After a few minutes, she gasped but it was in vain. It was as if holding her breath and breathing didn't matter anymore. She could have held it forever and never breathe again, but that idea terrified her.
"Hello?" She called out, hearing movement outside.
The picture of an orderly popped in her mind, she almost recognized him.
Man shuffling forward to the door, nervous, worried about opening the door. Suddenly, it was as if everything shifted within her mind. He was going to open it. But he's stalling, possibly scared?
Pictures shifted in her mind. A pregnant woman rubbed her stomach with love as she laughed at something silly. The man from outside the door, his wife…There was a flashing of colors and she warily raised her hands to her forehead, her eyes tight trying to see clearly. Pink. Lots of pink, a cry… a baby girl within the blankets, standing in front of a house... a blue house, they're buying the blue house. More worry, more fear.
"Hello?" She called out louder.
There was scratching outside the door. "Alice?" He called, wary.
"Yes?" her eyes darted forward, then side to side.
Keys jiggled in the door, "Are you… are you okay, Alice?
"Yes. I think so." The idea lingered in her head. Was she okay? Her mind worked a thousand times faster than before, more vivid sight, her ability was far more superior, and- and she could see in the dark! She could hold her breath indefinitely… She was having the worst heartburn… ever.
"I'm opening the door, stay where you are, alright Alice? I mean it. Stay. There." His voice was oddly creaking but she could hear him swallow. Odd. Then she thought that it was as if she could hear for miles. A Model T being driven down the dirt drive. An owl cooing in the tree, in the whistling wind. But she could hear someone screaming, it was within the building… the shuffling of feet in that direction… panicked words, frantic movements to control her.
And then the door cracked open.
Delicious warm smells seeped inside. She breathed deeply as she watched as his hand pushes open the door slowly. His eyes grew wide. She watched his veins pumping wildly, he was nervous.
"Alright," She answered her chest demanding, hungry, hot fire. She shook her head, not understanding what was going on and trying to resist the impulse to attack him and feed on his blood.
Eww. Gross.
"I… I don't think I feel very well," She said, her voice pitchy.
"It's okay, Alice, relax." His voice was soothing.
She nodded quickly, willing her body to cooperate, fight the madness.
"Let's get you to your room, Alice. We'll get you to your room. You'll feel better in your own bed."
"Right-" She nodded again, and stood up. It seemed a swift movement, and he took in air at the sight. Concentrating on her movements, she slowly stepped out the door. He fitted his arm around her shoulders refusing to look at her too closely. He seemed to shudder at her touch, but he was warm, very warm. And his scent was mouthwatering. She started compulsively swallowing, willing herself not to attack him, his body throbbing delicious warmth. She scared herself.
The man led her down the hall.
"Put your head down Alice. Don't let them notice you."
She thought that was an odd comment, but she nodded and obeyed. They walked rigidly and from the corner of her eyes she could see people, patients around her. Her mind flashed wildly seeing their futures lined out in front of them, most living there lives out here. One was idly chatting to herself, and another was trying to eat her own hand, one sewing. But some were vicious, one of which was plotting what she would do to another patient in the room. She shuddered, shaking her head and looking away from their hollow, dark eyes.
"She… she…" Alice stammered shaking her head, willing the visions out of her head as she pointed then lowered her hands, shaking. She remembered her visions were not well accepted. The doctors and staff did terrible things to her every time she expressed them. She bit her lip, shaking her head.
"Calm down, Alice. Everything is alright." He hurried more quickly down the hall.
Alice looked up seeing a woman she didn't recognize. The woman gasped at her, her eyes bulging, shaking her head wildly. "Demon! Demon!" She called pointing after them. The man turned her down the corner and ran.
"She called me a… demon?" Alice's voice was high pitched, distressed.
"What was that, Alice?"
Why did he keep saying her name like that? She looked at him, and he turned his head to her with a smile, then he gasped with a look of fear on his face.
"Your eyes-" he pointed at her, stumbling.
"My eyes? What is wrong with them?" She could feel the tears coming, but not came. Her face just felt contorted.
"They're red!"
"Cause I was in the dark so long?"
"Holy Mary, Mother of God." The orderly started to pray loudly, grabbing her arm and pulling her in yet another direction.
He led her downward, pulling her as she tried to turn around. She felt empowered and unbelievably strong, but she could see she would hurt him badly with any sudden movements. He didn't want to hurt her and she didn't want to hurt him. She could see that he was leading her down to the morgue and then maybe out the door.
"You're letting me go?"
"He said," The orderly swallowed, "he said you'd wake up different, Alice. He said to lock you up… to protect you, save you."
She listened to his words, though they didn't seem to make sense. "Who did?"
He mumbled incoherently, "… but he said you'd be different. I didn't get there in time, though… I'm sorry Alice, but you have to get out of here. You have to leave. I'll leave some clothes outside for you- outside this door- in the morning."
.
I relayed all of it for my parents. Esme gasped in horror. Carlisle held his tongue. There was a knock at the door.
I was the only one who moved to open it.
A small, fairy-like woman with choppy black hair and light eyes showed me our hug as she moved her arms around me. My eyes instantly darted to the male with her but she quickly released me and engulfed Carlisle next, and then Esme.
"Don't worry, Jasper is just not used to having a family just yet," she grinned. "I've waited for you all for so long. Hi! I am Alice Whitlock and this is my mate, Jasper."
Instantly there was an odd wafting calm pushed toward us from Jasper as he introduced himself as Major Jasper Whitlock.
"You're even better than I ever expected!" She bounced, clapping her hands. She reminded me of the southern belle my mother once introduced me to and in an instant, I could see her change was right around mine.
I watched her memories as she played them out to me, this time I just silently watched as she prattled on.
.
Alice sat on the bank of the water with her arms crossed over her knees and plopped her head on her arms and winced at the odor. She still smelled of solitary.
Her face scrunched as she heaved an unnecessary sigh. Her body was acting oddly and it was causing distress. Her chest boiled like liquid lava and each swallow caused the recoil of a thirst that was dominating her train of thoughts. And her mind seemed to have an abundance of room in there for thoughts.
Blood. Drink blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. BLLLOOOOOOD. Blood. Red. Juicy. Thick. Delicious. Blood. You want to drink it. You need to drink it.
"No." she gulped but it was worse. "It's all in my head. It has to be all inside my head. Something else to overcome… she could add it to her list of crazy.
Her eyes lifted to the trees. She needed a distraction. Her mind was going a mind a minute and her arms around her legs were more holding her body back from going back into the sanitarium to eat all of the delicious warm people locked inside like sardines; their blood basting the muscles with each mouthwatering heartbeat.
"Oh God! I am going insane!" she shrieked.
You were already insane. A little voice in her head reminded her.
She frowned, mouthing vain curses.
Sun. Concentrate on the Sun.
The sun had tucked itself down into the trees, leaving glittering bronze sunlight seeping through the leaves. They are peaceful trees, old and secretive. They are very boring trees. And sitting is boring, too. But this was her first twilight of freedom and she wanted to watch the sun go down.
She wanted blood.
The sun dipped low, casting red dusky lines of light at her. Her skin illuminated from diamonds to rubies. Blood rubies.
Blood.
"Hurry up already!" She glowered, "stupid sun." The wind tickled through her hair and danced around her, as if taunting her.
But yet there wasn't any sound.
She hadn't notice it before. It was eerily quiet. Alice looked around, eyeing the trees and the water, but there wasn't a soul.
She growled in frustration. The noise frighteningly curled off her tongue so easily it scared her. She gasped, her hand cupping her mouth.
Then it was if the water rippled away from her. It was as if she heard the slight ripple. Her body recoiled, defensively as her eyes moved cautiously over the water.
"Who's there?" she called out. But there was no answer. She felt crazy excited- like a predator almost- but the quiet was unnerving. She froze, waiting, concentrating… then she heard the soft paddling under the water, and she quirked a devilish smile. "There you are!" Her eyes watched the water, tracking, as her mouth pooled with saliva.
She jumped up and the next thing she knew she was in the murky water, arms wrapped tightly around the thick torso of an alligator. It opened its mouth, trying to bite onto her as it thrashed its tail wildly, causing them to spin. She tightened her grasp, sinking her teeth into the scales, and started to suck blood from the beast. She sucked in long, hard pulls, vaguely noticing that it slightly eased the burning in her chest.
After a few moments, the gator's body stopped thrashing and stilled, its green glossy eyes that were once cunning and wild, dulled. Alice frowned, wiping her blooded mouth on her shoulder before she released the heavy body back into the water, and slowly waded back to the shore.
"I've lost it. I've lost it," she murmured. She drank a huge alligator's blood.
Gross.
But it was good. Sooo good.
Alice's eyes were wide, taking in what had just happened. She turned her head, seeing the alligator's body drifting away down the stream, refusing to believe it. Refusing to believe what she had just done. It was sad. It was wrong.
But why did she feel slightly better? More full?
The blood.
The idea came to her and she froze.
That idea was definitely not normal.
She stared into the nothingness. She had changed. Something was very wrong with her. She knew that. Red eyes, sparkling skin, inhumanly fast.
Something was very, very wrong.
.
"So Alligators?" I smirked as we took turns sitting around the large living room. "Once Emmett hears about you wrestling alligators, he's going to want to try it."
Alice grinned with a clap of her hands. "Done. I can already see it!"
I watched it all play out in her mind. Emmett, whom she didn't even meet yet, was muddy and wrestling every alligator he could get his hands around while Rosalie looked bored on the bank.
"When will the rest of the family be along?" Jasper drawled, eyes moving over the three of us but landing finally on his mate. We all looked to her, too, and she grinned with the attention.
"Tomorrow morning," She answered confidently. I could see Emmett and Rose moving through the door just as the sun breached the trees. I fully expected to see them walk through the door in that moment, the vision was so vivid.
"I can't wait to learn about our new family." She clasped her hand over Jasper's. I was so preoccupied with the movement and Alice's mind that I didn't notice how uncomfortable he was around me.
"You're without a mate." Alice said silently in her mind, eyes not even focused on me. I looked away from her, sinking farther into my chair.
I put the question of my mate in my mind, just about to ask her when she senses it, and answers.
"Keep writing," She giggles mentally. "Someday, she'll be reading these very words."
Before I could even ask anything about her, I saw her mind slam shut. Alice faked a yawn and went to my room and claimed it as theirs, leaving me without.
-EAMC
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A/N: So I had talked to my mother and found out my grandmother was also an artist. I have one piece my grandfather gave me that she made and still have it to this day, but I don't remember (neither does my mother) if she kept anything else. I based Marie off of my grandmother. The above was a bit about the convo I had with my mother, Bella's take of Marie/ the quilt, and a dream I had about it.
I realize that the time from of Bella as she meets E in Chicago deviates from the original timeline. I also understand the books took place in 2008 and there are discrepancies on time. So, for clarification… I still have Marie dying but not really definable timelines.. but Bella is older and the timeline is still Oct 2019- and she's in college. Edward, who will always be 17- is more of a mature adult than his teenage cannon alter.
Fun fact: "Annie Belle Higginbotham" was a real person. I found her doing research on the Higginbotham name. She was from England and she moved to the states sometime (if I remember right) in the 1600's. That is who I based Marie's mother off of for this story.
Also, a long time ago I wrote Alice and Jasper's POV on life before they found each other in a story called "A Soft Place to Fall." I loved the story but I pulled it a long time ago. Since E is a mind reader, I will be adding some of that story in this one pertaining to his journals and their stories. So it'll be E's POV of what Alice and Jasper are mentally showing him, but not the entire story.
I hope you are all well. My husband has been ill and was tested yesterday, just in case. I feel fine. With work and everything going on, updating may be a bit difficult here or there, but I will update and finish this story so no worries there.
Thank you for your patience, for reading and you're kind reviews. I appreciate all of you and your thoughts.