It was three in the morning and Paul was still wide-awake. He had been staring at the ceiling since eleven, when him and Stephanie had gone to bed, "Stephanie?" He grumbled, hearing Madison start to whimper in her crib at the end of his bed.
"Hmm," she turned towards him and sighed in her sleep. She was snuggled close to him to where he didn't want to move, but he felt it was weird so he sat up.
"Stephanie, Madison's awake." He touched her arm, "Steph?" He knew she wasn't moving so he got up and took Madison in his arms, "mommy's sleeping right now honey." He rocked her for a little while, not even noticing when she fell back asleep. He put her back in her crib and paced in his room a few times, "I need to go to sleep, fuck." He rubbed his forehead and looked at his bed, seeing Stephanie's face in the orange streetlight coming through the sliding glass door.
He lied back down and sighed, trying to feel comfortable next to her. He had a big king-sized bed, but she was in the middle, which left him with less than half. He faced her and closed his eyes. A few seconds later, he felt Stephanie put her arm around him and started to sniffle, like she had earlier. He didn't say anything until she started to grasp his shirt, whimpering, "Stephanie, wake up." He took her hand and squeezed it, letting go when she ripped it away, "are you okay?"
"I don't know," she whispered and looked at him, "I had a dream about Randy." She buried her face in his side, crying.
"It's okay Steph." He put his arm under her and pulled her into a hug, holding her close, "honey, what happened in the dream?"
She didn't even acknowledge he had called her honey. She wiped her face and broke away out of his arms, "Paul, I want to be honest and tell you what was going on when he got in that accident." She sat up on the opposite side of the bed, "we weren't even together the whole time I was pregnant. We broke up before I even found out about Madison, he was drunk when he crashed because I didn't want him a part of Madison's life. He hated me."
He could see tears streaming down her face, "why did you have to tell me that?" He sat up, watching her helplessly as she cried, "why didn't you want him around for Madison?"
"He was a drunk, I didn't want his alcohol abuse around her. He wasn't even my fiancé. I just said that so people would think someone actually liked me. I slept with Randy when I was drunk, and that's how we got Madison. I mean, we talked, and we dated before I got pregnant, but we didn't really get along."
"Stephanie, why are you telling me all this?" He lied back down, sighing, "you usually only tell me stuff when there's something more important. Like the whole 'we have to get married' conversation."
"I just wanted someone to talk to. I feel like I can talk to you. I used to at work all the time, I told you everything at work." She went silent for a second, then took his face in her hands and kissed him. He didn't fight it, he just let it happen until she pulled away.
"What are you doing? What was that?" Before he could control himself, he was up and out of the bed, "Stephanie, what the hell was that?"
"Shut up, you're gonna wake up Madison." She pushed her hair back, "I don't know what that was for." She kept herself from crying again, "Paul?"
"I'm sleeping on the couch." He grabbed a pillow and a blanket and walked out. Inside he was aching, leaving her in his bed crying killed him. He couldn't figure out why the kiss bothered him so much. He just threw himself on the couch and turned the TV on.
The next morning, Paul woke up and looked around, all the curtains were closed and it was dark, but the TV was off. He stood up and walked to his room to find it empty with the bed all neatly made. He came back out to the kitchen and saw a note. Stephanie and his mom had gone out shopping.
"Oh," he looked around and opened the fridge, looking for something to eat. He couldn't stop thinking about last night, how nice it was to share his bed with someone, how happy it made him to get Madison to go to sleep in his arms, how great it felt when Stephanie kissed him. He was leaning on the counter with his head in his hands thinking how stupid he had been, she liked him, he knew he felt something for her too, but just didn't know what, or why. His thoughts were stopped short by the sound of his phone, he ran to his room to catch it in time, "hello?"
"Hi Paul," Stephanie cleared her throat, not letting the night before leave her mind, "your mom and I are about to leave the mall to get lunch, do you want to meet us somewhere?"
"You actually want me to come, or does my mom want me to come?" He sat on the bed, "listen, about last night…"
"We both do, forget about last night, I'm sorry about that. Your mom was worried about it until I told her you just couldn't sleep because you didn't take your medicine. She closed all the curtains for you."
He bit his lip, "Stephanie, I'm sorry, I don't know what happened. Maybe I just don't want our friendship to be awkward."
"Yeah, that's it." She smiled although her heart was breaking inside, "is there any place in particular you want to go?"
She had cut him off again, so he just went with it, "I don't know, I could eat anything right now, I just woke up like a minute ago."
"How about Mexican food? I'll meet you at the restaurant we always used to go by the office." She got in his Mercedes and closed the door, "I have your car by the way, so, yeah."
"That's fine. I'll be there in like a half hour, which mall are you at?" He one-handedly pulled jeans on and zipped them up.
"In San Fernando. The one we always go to." She started the car and waited, "I'll see you there then, bye." She hung up and almost threw her phone in the cup holder. She was upset with him after last night, she threw herself at him and he freaked out, it told her he didn't like her as much as she liked him.
Lunch was eaten with only Leona talking. Paul couldn't look at Stephanie because he felt bad. And because she was there, he couldn't even eat, he just felt like throwing up, "are you guys okay?" Leona waved her hand in front of her son's face, "you guys have been acting so different."
"I know, I'm sorry, I just didn't sleep last night. I was up until like five, and I just don't feel good, I think it had something to do with those cupcakes last night." He forced a bite of rice down, "and then because I didn't sleep well, I kept Stephanie up." He looked over at her, "are you okay?"
She shook her head and kept eating, "I just don't feel good," she knew it was because of what had happened, and like he had said, their friendship was awkward now, "Madison woke up early too, and just ugh." She put her fork down and wiped her mouth, I have to use the restroom, I'll be back." She stood up and walked away.
"Looks like she needs some alone time already. You guys have only been married for a few weeks, what's going on?"
"Nothing, my medicine fucked everything up last night, I forgot to take it so I didn't sleep and was up too late. I should have went to the living room earlier so she didn't stay up with me but I didn't think about it." He took a drink of water and looked around, waiting for Stephanie to come back and save him.
"Okay, as long as you guys are okay. You both look sleep-deprived today so I'm just worried. You aren't lying to me are you?"
"No, I'm not." He kept his eyes on his food, "Stephanie and I are just fine." He smiled when his wife came back out, in reality, they were far from fine, and the face she gave him told him she was even farther, "babe, are you alright?"
"I can't eat anymore. I just threw it all up." She whispered, holding back tears, "I want to go home." She leaned on his arm, "are you done?"
"Yeah, I'm not hungry either." He felt bad for her, she didn't look happy at all, "mom, are you done, or almost done?" His arm found its way around Stephanie and held her tighter, "I'll go pay the bill for us."
"Oh, no, you got lunch yesterday, I'll get it, how about you just go take Stephanie home and leave the car keys here, I'll keep Madison with me and you guys can just be at home for a little while."
"Alright, Stephanie, give her the keys to the car, we'll go home." He stood up and started to walk with Steph outside, "what's wrong?" He unlocked the truck and helped her inside.
"I don't know, I just don't feel good. I went to the bathroom, because I felt like I was gonna start crying, and I ended up puking." She put the seat back and sighed, "I barely ate anything though."
"You just feel sick?" He pulled the truck around and out of the small parking lot, "I was hungry until I got there, then I was just like, no." He went quiet for a second before changing to subject back to what had happened, "Stephanie, I'm sorry, I didn't eat because I just felt bad about last night."
"I'm sorry I just threw myself on you last night. I did make our friendship awkward, and I want to apologize for that." She held her stomach, "I don't know if that's why I feel sick though, my stomach really hurts."
"I felt sick last night, I think something was really up with those cupcakes." He fell quiet for the rest of the car ride home, then, when he opened the garage door, he looked at her and noticed her eyes were teary and red, "are you sure your stomach is the only thing bothering you?"
"Yeah," she grabbed her purse and got out, not even waiting for him to get out and follow her. She went inside and walked straight to the bedroom and slammed the door.
He slowly came inside from the garage and looked around, "Stephanie, where'd you go?" He noticed his door was closed, "Steph, are you in my room?"
She was leaning over the toilet, trying to keep herself from throwing up. She had her elbows on the seat and her fingers were all intertwined in her hair, "I'm in the bathroom," she sat down on the floor with her back against the wall, "I thought I was gonna throw up but I didn't."
"You want some Pepto Bismol? I have some here in the cabinet." He turned to the big medicine cabinet above the sink, "just take a drink from the bottle, that's what I do. I mean, don't gulp it down, just a drink of it." He handed her the large pink bottle.
"Why don't you just put some pajamas or something on and go lay down. I'm gonna put my sweats back on and lay down too. We'll watch TV." He picked her up off the bathroom floor, "let's try and be in bed by the time my mom gets here, so we can at least pretend we're asleep."
She enjoyed his arms being around her, and wished it could be like that all the time, not just when she wasn't feeling good. It was even better later on, when they were lying in his bed together again, talking and laughing, acting as if nothing had happened the night before.