Chapter Seventeen: "Parting and Passion"
I couldn't give her a time, even though she had asked. I had no idea how long it would take to learn everything I needed to know. Master Yoda didn't even have any idea. He suspected I had been offered plenty of information by the Force, but apparently, it was being revealed to me in increments.
The time had come, however, for Padmé to return to Coruscant. Holocron in hand, she was determined to clear the name of the Jedi and prepare everyone for our reappearance. It would take some time, but seemed like a much better alternative than remaining a fugitive.
It could be months, possibly even a year before I saw her again and neither of us seemed to be willing to admit it.
"Don't forget to eat," Padmé teased while poking me in the ribs. "You need to keep up your strength now that you're training." She smiled and pulled at the collar of the nubby brown cloak Yoda had given me to help keep me warm during the cold Ossus nights.
I gave in to the urgency of her tug and held her before we kissed. I had planned on making our last contact for a while something to remember had it not been for the appearance of Yoda who hobbled up to us and then cleared his throat.
"In your hands the Jedi's fate is. Make light of that, you should not. Waiting here for your return, we will. Good news, I hope you bring."
Way not to put the pressure on her, Master, I thought glumly.
"See you later," I chose to say, which seemed more hopeful and less permanent than goodbye. "Take care of yourself and don't let Organa push you around. You're smarter than he is."
"I hope so," Padmé replied, her eyes glittering with moisture. "I have no idea what to expect. He has to believe me! I'll make him believe me, Obi-Wan. I will."
"I know."
I hugged her tightly once more before releasing her to face her own destiny. There was no dread in the action. It was something I knew I had to do, although my heart ached at the thought of not seeing her every day.
"May the Force be with you," Yoda spoke his own farewell while she walked away.
"Thank you," Padmé said, turning her head around. "And to you as well."
I liked that saying, although I wasn't sure what it meant. Wasn't the Force always around? In everything?
"Come," the smaller Jedi said as soon as Padmé was out of sight. "Much work we have to do."
Never once had I thought that training to become a proper Jedi was going to be easy, but I had no idea what a tyrant Master Yoda could be. Perhaps tyrant was too extreme of a word, but he definitely didn't take it easy on me, and never did I get a break. When I wasn't sleeping or eating, I was training, both body and mind. And there often were times when I knew I should be sleeping because my body was aching and I was too tired to do anything else when my mind would drift and I would wonder what Padmé was doing. Had Senator Organa believed her? Or was I destined to live the life of someone forced to hide from the law? And what about the others who used the Force as well? What would happen to them?
She simply had to succeed. Any other alternative was unthinkable.
Today's challenge was to climb the bare face of the mountain behind the Temple. At a few points, the ascent was parallel to the ground. Needless to say, I was nervous. I'd never even thought about climbing a cliff before. Why would I? And the entire time I did, Yoda was explaining the workings of the Force and the temptation of the Dark Side. I sincerely wished he wouldn't talk to me while I was concentrating so hard on not plummeting to my death. His voice wasn't distracting, but I was missing most of what he said.
The one phrase that stood out from the rest, caused me to miss my next step and I slipped. I had already climbed about fifteen meters and realized more than likely I was about to break a bone at least. The Force readily answered my call and I slowed down my ascent to where I landed on my feet and rolled to dissipate some of the kinetic energy. I ended up with nothing more than a scratched elbow.
"What did you say?" I asked him once I'd righted myself.
"Focus, you must!" he scolded me, pointing toward the mountain with his cane.
"Oh, that?" I tried to play it off and shrugged my shoulders. "I meant to do that. I had a question and wasn't sure you would hear me from such a distance."
The ancient Master groaned with displeasure. He could see right through me. I realized that. "Ask your question you should before lose my patience with you I do."
I couldn't help but smile. Even though he was a rigid taskmaster, he was generally kind and caring. In fact, I was growing rather fond of him.
"You were speaking about attachments. What did you mean that the Jedi once denied themselves passion? Are you talking about attachments toward groups or an individual?"
Yoda sighed in a way that told me I should understand, but I wanted to be quite clear on this subject. If he was about to tell me I would have to stop loving or being with Padmé, he had another thing coming. That wasn't going to happen.
"Before the wars, held to the origin of the faith, the Jedi did. Very strict the creed was then. A Jedi walked alone. Oftentimes a detriment to their own health it was. All their thoughts and focus, on the Force they were. This belief contributed to their fall, I believe. While the Sith claim strength and peace found through passion it is, believe we should that peace due to emotion is found. Emotion, bring serenity it can when honorable it is."
I had to agree. I wasn't at peace with myself before I'd met Padmé. Only through her love and assistance had I discovered who I truly was and who I was meant to be. Although the Force now guided me, my love for her was what grounded me.
"Good. I thought you were about to say I had to break up with Padmé," I confessed, wiping the sweat from my brow onto my sleeve.
"No. Marry her, you shall."
My brows raised. Really? I had hoped but wasn't sure. How was he so sure?
"Master Yoda, can you see the future?"
Another sigh. I was beginning to be able to tell the difference between them. This was another one of those subjects he was hesitant to discuss with me. Most likely, because I was either going to argue with him about it or I wouldn't understand.
"More so than in the past. Beginning to lift, the darkness is. The future, a long road with many forks, it is. Every decision affects its path, it does. Impossible to know its end with certainty."
Actually, I did understand that. Our future lives like everyone else's was based on the moment. The thought recalled a conversation I'd had with another Jedi: Qui-Gon. What had happened to him? One day I would try and find out. After all, I owed the man for saving my life.