5 years ago

A red, angry flame shoots out of the boy's palm. Ritsu can feel it. It's hot. It's real.

"Wow…" Mesmerized, he lifts his finger to touch it. The heat, far more intense than its small size belies, snaps at him, catching him by surprise. "Ow!"

The flame vanishes. Shigeo is startled by his little brother's reaction. "What's wrong?"

"It was really hot," he complains, nursing the spot. "Wasn't it hot for you?"

Shigeo looks down at his palm, not a splotch of redness left behind from the fire. He doesn't seem bothered. Ritsu can't tell what this person is thinking. Or feeling if he is. "I felt something here."

Something? Ritsu brings the palm to his forehead, his eyes turning big. "It's hot! Doesn't that hurt?"

He frowns at him.

"It's true," insists Ritsu, but Shigeo shakes his head.

"I don't know."

"That's why I'm telling you."

There's no response. Shigeo's gaze slips away to a corner.

"If there's something you don't know, you should ask," he tells him.

"Uh, yeah…"

Exhausting the subject, Ritsu jumps off the chair and moves into the living room. "Oh, well. We shouldn't play inside."

Getting on his knees by the table, Ritsu withdraws his quiz papers from his backpack. Red-inked circles flow cleanly across his test sheets, each with the same crown of a perfect "100". He marvels at the results, his chest puffed out as he recalls the ease he had answered them. Yuugi-sensei would not believe him when he said he was done! Finished before anyone else. It was the first time a grown-up had apologized to him.

Ritsu hurries over to the fridge, carefully transporting them to not leave a crease. He's keenly aware of the other pair of eyes following after him. He's used to it by now. With his toes, he drags out the footstool from under the sink and gets on it to reach a spot near his starry sky artwork. He drops the magnet between that and the quiz papers before sticking another magnet to secure the other end.

Finished, Ritsu turns around and jumps. Instantly, the footstool slides behind him with a screech, the floor catching his unsightly fall. He may have laughed it off any other time if not for the silent company that saw him humiliate himself. His ankle whines when he tries to stand on it. The elbow that absorbed his crash is very sore.

"Does it hurt?"

"Of course it does," mumbles Ritsu, limping away to gather the footstool. What kind of stupid question is that?

"That's unfair. You said I should ask."

He picks up the footstool and looks at the other boy, still sitting motionless by the chair. When Shigeo is not sitting idly doing nothing, he's lying by the sofa or under the blankets in their room. When Ritsu brought this up to Dad, he was told to leave him alone.

But he's always following me. I miss Mom.

"Do you want to see her?" the boy asks. "I know where she is."

Ritsu frowns. There's a weirdness he can't describe, something that isn't right. Should he go to Tsubomi-chan's house?

Shigeo's eyebrows hunch up. His mouth tightens by a slight fraction. "Why? Her again?"

Gasping, Ritsu makes a run for it. He snatches the cap in the hallway on the way and runs out of the door without closing it.

KAGEYAMA RITSU

"Stop it," I give in, getting annoyed at what must have been the twelfth time my brother has poked me. But, as I expected, the reaction only encouraged his pestering.

"It hurts, doesn't it? We have to get you checked in the hospital! You might have dislocated a toe or punctured a lung…."

Maybe he thinks I need the distraction after almost getting into an accident. It happened in a blur; there's not much to be bothered about. I'm more concerned about the cause. Reigen-san's recklessness wasn't what got us zooming across a busy crossroad. Before Reigen-san got "lost," something suspicious was already happening, and it started when Nii-san fell asleep.

Why was I so slow in the uptake? I knew there were significant inconsistencies in the scenery. I knew something was wrong, but I…it didn't register it was related to Nii-san. It obviously was. I review the evidence in my notebook, whirling circles around "unstable power?" and "psychic sleepwalking."

"It's not your fault," says my brother.

I am taken aback by how glum he sounds. "What's wrong?"

For a moment, it looks like he's bursting with things to say but only breathes out, "Brain sprain."

A concussion?

"No, it's more like…."

"A sprain. Right, sorry; I get it." So he's saying it's not as severe as brain damage but temporary, minor incapacitation that can get better by itself over time. That's good to know. "You haven't used your powers since getting here, though."

It's strange seeing Nii-san with a look of confusion. I know it's difficult for him to follow a person's train of thought without focusing, but he told me before that he has no trouble listening to mine because he's used to my "voice." The constant telepathy exchange between us must have served as training.

But today has been a very long day for him.

"The brain sprain. Something must have caused it. Was it telepathy? Was that why you opted out of telepathic communication earlier?"

Nii-san's confusion eases back into a neutral stare. "Yeah."

"Does it hurt? Is it hurting now?"

I can practically hear his thinking as Nii-san's lips twitch with amusement. I'm pretty serious about this. I may not be the most powerful being on the planet that can go unscathed from violent collisions, but I was wearing my seatbelt. Good enough to keep me from a trip to the ER after not-crashing.

"Reigen-san is fine, isn't he?" I point out. It's the driver that faces the most significant risk in car accidents.

"Is he really?"

Outside the car is our dad's co-worker, Reigen-san, bowing profusely at the air in a festive shirt and a pair of jogging pants as he speaks to our mom over my phone. Reigen-san had gone on a spiel about a one-hundred squat training regime to explain his shaking knees to us (we didn't ask). But, no matter how obvious it was that the accident had shaken him badly, Reigen-san did his best (and most desperate) to put on an act.

He has no idea that the actual victim of this incident is him. "What should we do? He might turn himself in at this rate."

"We can take a picture of him and use it as blackmail."

"Blackmail? What are you talking about?"

Nii-san stares at the seat in front of him. This is him listening to thoughts. My thoughts. "Never mind. I thought you were worried he would make us suspicious."

"I was worried about that, yeah, but Reigen-san doesn't seem like a bad guy." When he said he wanted to talk to me, I thought he would surely ask my perspective of what went down. Who else could vouch that he hadn't gone insane?

But the last thing Reigen-san wanted was for me to think about it. He made sure that I wasn't hurt and reassured me that he would bring us home safely. It was a nice gesture, even if my shoulder was still wet from when he put a sweaty hand on it.

Nii-san grimaces. "That's gross. Let's get you a new shirt. We'll have Reigen-san happily pay for it."

"It's not his fault either," I remind him.

"You're right. It's the rain's fault."

"I've asked two things, and you didn't answer either."

"Brain doesn't hurt, and we don't need to worry about Reigen-san," he lists out flippantly. "As he likes to say to himself, he's an adult. He can take care of his problems."

We're his problems, though, and Reigen-san is only helping out. Just what made Dad decide to have a guy he barely knows from work to do his bidding? Mom said her lunch with her friends had been brief and that Dad hadn't reached out to her. That part is a little weird… It doesn't seem like they had a fight.

But knowing how this ended, I am glad it wasn't Mom who had been behind the wheel. I feel bad for Reigen-san, but who knows what would have happened if she had been driving? I left out the part where we almost got into a road accident when I gave her the rundown, but Reigen-san might give it away. They've been talking for a while.

"What are you doing?" I ask as Nii-san stands up, reaching into the front passenger seat. He carefully withdraws a small, familiar-looking umbrella I hadn't thought of for a while.

"We can bring this with us next time if it 'rains' again."

"I'll punch you."

Nii-san sets the umbrella aside without another word. I pick it up, gazing at the cute frog head at the tip, interested in it for a more constructive purpose. This umbrella was one of the objects that appeared in our house after a night of Nii-san sleepwalking. It looked like something belonging to a child, but that didn't stop Dad from using it.

Nii-san causing strange supernatural phenomena while asleep has precedence. But it's never happened outside, not once in the times he had slept in the car nor when knocked out with medicine to help him through long travel hours. Not even at the height when his powers were consuming his ability to function.

We should have looked into his sleepwalking seriously. "Do you think it's related? Or is today a unique case?"

Nii-san doesn't reply immediately. Instead, he seems to put a lot of thought into it, turning his attention to the floor. "I don't know, but you know I can't control all my powers well. My teleportation and clairvoyance are the same from before and now. But powers that scale like telekinesis have been…tricky. Maybe it's the lack of practice."

I nod solemnly. "And yet you've never lost control. That's what makes you amazing, Nii-san."

I think I know my brother well, but I still struggle to read the subtle shifts in his expression.

"No… I screwed up in the camp. When I tried to use pyrokinesis, what came out was something else. You saw, right?"

"Nii-san, it's nothing to be worked on about," I tell him, confounded as to why this is coming up. We got a scolding from our parents, and with how much it stood out, we opted not to return there the year after. Nii-san did not seem troubled about it. We were laughing about it last time. Nothing serious had, and no one got -

"But what about next time?" he interjects. Nii-san's hands slide to his knees. "I can't believe I never considered it. I'm so stupid."

"What are you saying?" I ask, bewildered, but my question goes unanswered. "Are you worried your powers might hurt someone?"

Then it clicks. Nii-san hunches over, ashamed.

He's scared.

I 'm sorry. I'm pathetic.

No, it 's okay. I didn't realize. I didn't consider how you'd feel. I -

The door opens. "Here, Ritsu-kun. Your mom wants to talk to you."

I swipe my phone back from Reigen-san, cursing his timing. "What is it?"

"Ritsu, I told Reigen-san to stop by a shrine. I want you and Shige to pray. Stay there for half an hour…."

I can't believe what I'm hearing now of all times. I glance at Reigen-san, who has moved away to light a smoke, his back turned to me. The secret's out. He knows our mom is crazy.

"No, make that one hour. That should be enough to clear Shige."

I clench my teeth. "Clear him of what? Do you want to talk to him about it?"

There's a gratifying pause on Mom's end. I can feel her stiffen. "Shige understands. In fact, he and I talked this morning before we separated."

I lower my voice. "I told you, Nii-san is not feeling well. He's been drifting off to sleep, and you want him to continue staying out here?"

"It would be worth it," she promises me. "Your brother has been through worse. It's better to make sure."

How does that make it right to punish him further? "Anything else?"

"Be careful, okay?"

Mom cares. Mom is thinking about both of us. But I can't honestly respond to her way of showing it. "Right."

I end the call and take a deep breath. Then, in the next moment, I don a smile and call Reigen-san, thanking him for waiting and letting him know that we're good to go.

"We're here," announces Reigen-san.

See, that went well. I put a comforting hand on Nii-san's shoulder. The ride had been surprisingly short, but the way back home wouldn't be the same. You can rest. I'll entertain Mom and Reigen-san.

Nii-san nods vaguely. Thanks, is all he manages to say before relaxing and closing his eyes.

If only I could bring him home myself.

I get out of the car and meet up with Reigen-san. "Nii-san is tired. I'll head to the shrine alone."

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah?" I say tentatively. "I'm in the sixth grade. I'm not a child that has to have his brother with him at all times."

"That's not what I meant, though you're undoubtfully still a child, Ritsu-kun. If you're not feeling well, stay in the car with Shigeo-kun. I won't tell your mom."

I wasn't expecting Reigen-san to offer. I wasn't even considering finding an excuse to get out of this.

"Unless you also believe in this spiritual nons…stuffs," he adds, noticing my hesitation. Reigen-san has done poorly to be polite, and I'm glad for it.

"So it's nonsense to you, Reigen-san? Do you visit the shrine on New Year?"

"To wait in line freezing for half a day so I can toss a coin in a box and ring a bell? Nah. Besides, we should strive to grant each other's wishes, not begging for God to play favourites."

I am in disbelief. That's precisely what I think! Is Reigen-san wise, or is this the common perception?

"I can't agree with you more. Praying helps no one but the individual. It might have been good for Mom, but for us… She's not a terrible person," I explain to Reigen-san, who, to my embarrassment, is listening intently. We should be making our way to the shrine, but I am holding up with my chattering. "It's just that… She doesn't listen to us enough."

"You're not a bad kid."

"Huh?"

"Just thought that's the worry you'll have next," says Reigen-san, smiling. "You don't get to talk like this often, do you? Not that it's unexpected. Religion isn't a subject you bring up with your classmates."

Nii-san doesn't believe in the existence of gods either, but he is neutral at best on the matter.

No, that's not right. He's very tolerant. Too forgiving when he has every right to be upset.

"So, you still want to go? It's a ten-minute walk."

I shrug. "Sure." Mom's unreasonable demand is a blessing in disguise. Nii-san will have an easier time staying awake on the way back if he can get some sleep in. Presumably, being unconscious triggered the teleportation, and so far, the theory has held true.

Reigen-san is being oddly persistent, though. Is he that concerned?

He surveys a stall across the entrance of the shrine. "Mmm, that smells nice! Want to sit down and get some takoyaki? How about juice?"

We eat on the bench, watching people pass through the torii gates.

"There's an arcade in the next street - ow! Shi…" Reigen-san gasps desperately to nurse his burnt tongue. "Doo yoo wanna hed ober derr?"

He's really trying. I wonder if it's because of that. "Reigen-san, we don't blame you for what happened."

Reigen-san winces. Looks like I hit the mark.

"Well, you know…." Reigen-san clears his throat. I half-expected him to make another excuse, but Reigen-san concedes with grace, to my surprise. "As the driver, what happened was my responsibility. Traffic accidents are not a laughing matter. I should be held accountable for what happened… so I appreciate you not telling your mom about it." He smiles weakly.

I smile back. "The same goes for us."

"Though," starts Reigen-san with a heavy emphasis, "it isn't good to keep secrets from your parents. Is Mom not someone you boys can turn to?"

"Why do you want to know?" I ask back curiously, which catches Reigen-san by surprise.

"Can't I ask? Hmm, I suppose family relationships are a private matter." He cups his chin, rubbing a finger on his jawline. "My bad. It's an old habit of mine."

An old habit?

"Did you have a different job before, Reigen-san?"

Reigen-san appears delighted by my assessment. "Oh? You're a sharp one. That is correct."

You can thank my brother who read your mind for that.

"Well?" pushes Reigen-san eagerly. "Any ideas? Depending on how close your guess is, I'll buy you a key chain."

Or maybe I shouldn't have said anything.

Reigen-san seems to think the drop in my interest is due to the appeal of the prize he's offered.

"What's wrong? Guys can have key chains. Or are you thinking of something more practical? Let's see… Something like a pencil case?"

"How about a camera?"

"A camera?" he repeats dully. "What would you need that for? Just use your cellphone."

"I take it you weren't a photographer then."

"Here's a hint: it's not a traditional job. Not high-paying either, but very rewarding!" Reigen-san nods, looking proud.

"A bodyguard?" Reigen-san doesn't look like the part, but something I learned early on with having a brother that can read minds is that appearances are incredibly deceiving. The hired assassin I confronted when I was six years old is as plain as Reigen-san. Nii-san tried to warn me, but I simply found it hard to believe, so I had to ask myself. The reaction I got was all the confirmation I needed.

But that's an extreme case. I'm not suspecting Reigen-san is involved in something shady and remotely illegal.

"No; here's another hint: I had a lot of clients."

An assassin would have multiple clients…

"A journalist?"

"Hmm, no, that's not it, but much of the work I did aligns with what journalists do."

I run through the hints again. Reigen-san mentioned having an old habit when asking people personal questions. According to Nii-san, he lives off "cold, sad instant meals" and can lie easily to maintain his facade. It's not a traditional job… Rewarding not in a monetary sense… The way Reigen-san talked about it - there's gratification.

How many guesses am I allowed anyway? This reminds me of how Nii-san and I used to guess what people's jobs were whenever we were dragged out to shrines… Huh. I think the assassin was the reason why we stopped playing that game.

I snap my fingers. "You were a Youtuber."

Reigen-san gives a blank stare before bursting out in laughter. "Ritsu-kun, you suck at this. However, I suppose my charm would draw a large audience."

"I said you were a Youtuber. I didn't say you were a popular one."

Reigen-san pretends to hear nothing. "People come to me when they have a problem they can't solve alone. Come on, Ritsu-kun, I'm practically telling you the answer."

"Did they come to you when they have a problem with someone breathing?" I ask dryly.

Reigen-san arcs an eyebrow. "What's with that phrasing?"

"I don't know," I say with an exasperated sigh. I should have just told Reigen-san more about Mom and her favourite god. "Were you a detective?"

"As needed." An indifferent response.

"Guess I'll never know."

Reigen-san chuckles. Amusing him isn't my intention, but Reigen-san is entertaining himself well enough. "All right, all right. When put together, your guesses came close. You see, I was the -"

"Reigen?" The deep, husky voice is followed by a delighted gasp. "Oh my. It really is you!"

Reigen-san's face lights up with recognition, as does mine.

"Nendou-san?" Reigen-san seems to be comprehending the new presence before he puts something together. "Oh, of course, this is Shinjuku! You said you worked here."

"That I do. But why do you sound like you didn't know where you were?"

"I had a long day."

"I see." The corners of Nendou-san's red lips turn up. Beneath them are those round…features that I've seen back in the Ofuna Kannon Temple. "Need someone to watch your kid in the meantime while you take a smoke?"

"Please. Do I look like a father to you?"

"Well…" Nendou-san looks at Reigen-san from top to bottom. It's at this moment that Reigen-san remembers running into someone he knows is not a preference at the moment. "Isn't it too early for you to have a midlife crisis?"

Reigen-san has been trying to act composed all this time, but the "long day" has gotten to him. "It was an emergency, okay? I didn't have time to change since I had to take the taxi…for some errands," he amends subtly at the end, no doubt to corroborate the story he told Nii-san and me.

Nendou-san is troubled by the information. "Don't tell me - did she run away from home?"

"No, no; their dad couldn't come and pick them up, is all."

"Ohh, so she's your client's child."

Reigen-san shakes his head again. "Friend from work - different work. His name is Ritsu-kun, and he's obviously a boy, Nendou-san."

"A boy? My bad. Though, you can't blame me with that pink hair of his. He's also better dressed than boys of my son's age."

She's not the only one to get someone's gender wrong. Nendou-san has to be the other Nendou's mother. She has to be - there's no other explanation. The resemblance is so uncanny that it's practically the other Nendou but in a drag. Rude as this may sound, she's bigger than him too, her neck somehow girthier. She shares her son's pointed ears, his round nose and the, uh, very cleft chin. It's a preview of an older version of the guy Nendou. At least she isn't sporting the same bizarrely-shaped, buzzcut hairstyle as him, but that wouldn't have been enough. If not for Reigen-san, I would have thought it was the other Nendou in a thick, curly wig.

I catch Nendou-san's attention. "You haven't said a word, Ritsu-kun. You're not too offended, are you?"

Embarrassingly, I reflexively jump at being addressed. Nendou-san's voice isn't anything like her son's, which startles my brain that still recognizes them as the same person.

Reigen-san leans over to whisper. "I know; seeing her for the first time can be shocking."

Nendou-san is anything but pleased by Reigen-san's behaviour. "Whispering right in front of me? How rude. You think I don't know, what with this face of mine?"

Damn it, Reigen-san! Why did you drag me into this? Reigen-san has his sweaty hands wrapped and rubbing together like a panic-stricken salesperson. I'm sure he knows how to smoothen this out.

"It's not like what you think, Nendou-san!" he says nervously, absolutely reassuring that it's exactly what she thinks.

"Oh?" Nendou-san is intrigued. "So you two aren't absolutely stunned by my skincare?"

"Stunned? Skin…care?" stammers Reigen-san. Reigen-san's expression fills me with doubt and befuddlement. Is this a reference? A joke? Should we be laughing?

"Yeah. I've been applying products every night. Never had time for it before, but it's become a necessity for my job." Nendou-san touches her cheek fondly.

She thinks it's about her skincare?

Reigen-san knocks his knee on mine to jolt me out of my stunned silence before being all smiles again for his acquiantance.

"So that's what it was! It's been a long time, so I thought it was just my memory. Honestly, it's more than the skin, I think. Your whole aura, even your pose - " Reigen-san rises to fully appraise her. "- It's like you're a completely different person!"

Nendou-san is nonpulsed. She rests a hand on Reigen-san's shoulder, not as impressed as Reigen-san expects.

"You really had a long day, didn't you? Get your eyes checked. I had cleansers and moisturizers, not cosmetic surgery."

I turn away, extending my coughing until I've laughed it all out. It didn't help at all, I know.

I conspicuously take in air to calm down before facing them. "Sorry."

"It is allergy season," reminds Nendou-san to Reigen-san, remaining oblivious. "They've been saying it's getting worse yearly, but it's been the usual. My Riki never gets sick. Oh, that's right…." She looks back at me. "Do you have a brother or something?"

I freeze.

"He does. Why?"

"My son, Riki," she recollects. "I remember he made a friend with pink hair back in the hospital where my S.O. was recovering. I thought he might be European, but his name is Japanese. Ritsu-kun is Japanese too, right?"

"Well…yeah. Maybe you're misremembering. Maybe he had red hair? Some shades can make it appear dark pink."

"It was pink, I'm sure of it."

"It was the lighting then. Pink hair isn't a natural hair colour. Ritsu-kun has his dyed. A lot of young - "

"It's not," I say. The two adults look at me in confusion. I repeat, slower this time while looking directly into Reigen-san eyes. "It's not dyed… But, I don't think that was my brother or myself."

Nendou-san nods. "Is that so? Sorry for asking suddenly."

"It's all right."

She turns back to Reigen-san. "Reigen-san, rest up and drink water. Let's catch up when we get a downtime." She smiles at me. "It was nice meeting you, Ritsu-kun. Don't make Reigen-san's life too hard. He's been single since birth."

Reigen-san accompanies me around the shrine despite my insistence that he can stay put. The shrine is not a significant site, but shrines tucked in streets like this attract curious foreigners and passersby and residents on the go. Reigen-san's own hair - a mop of dirty blond - already sets him apart in a crowd. Combined with his lousy clothes, he's getting more looks than I am.

I wanted to kill more time for Nii-san to rest, but Reigen-san watching me was distracting. What is he here for if all he's going to do is sit down when he gets the chance?

"Reigen-san, you don't have to keep an eye on me. I'm not going to follow strangers into their car."

Reigen-san feigns disinterest. "Don't worry, Ritsu-kun. I have other matters to think of to keep me occupied."

"You ought to spare some of that concern for the other person you're supposed to be watching. You didn't bother checking on Nii-san when I told you he was staying in the car to rest. You didn't ask what was wrong."

Reigen-san abandons his act of observing the greenery and looks at me. "Your mom mentioned him."

"She -" My heart is suddenly pounding at double speed. She didn't. Shewouldn't. If she did, why is Reigen-san acting so calm? Why didn't he say anything?

"He's sickly, isn't he? That's the reason why she wants you two to pray. What's wrong?" he asks, noticing me let go of the breath I was holding.

"Nothing."

Reigen-san crosses his legs. "Yeah, that's exactly the problem."

"Problem?" I echo. What problem?

"I know Shigeo-kun isn't feeling well. I would have told him to stay in the car if you hadn't. He was quite upset since he woke up. Didn't you notice?"

"And you did?" I raise a brow. "Why didn't you talk to him like you did to me? He might not have been awake when it happened, but as you said, Nii-san got…agitated." Because he doesn't want anyone to get hurt. When we get home, I have to talk to him about that. I still haven't figured out how to approach it, but I know it's no longer a "minor inconvenience" that I can liken to the weather.

"I'm not sure if talking to him would help him… Sleeping it off might be better."

Reigen-san can be too forward, but he's intelligent. That's what I thought anyway. The respect he's earned from me today is dissipating.

"That's the best you can do? Doing nothing?"

I don't think Reigen-san like that. I expect him to lose his patience and raise his voice a little. But he doesn't.

"Something unusual happened back on the road. I have a feeling - no, I am certain you are aware of that. But, for whatever reason, you're not talking about it. Being upset, worried - being scared would be a normal reaction. You're none of those. You're completely calm."

"How is that a bad thing?" I ask cautiously. I've been told before that I am reliable for being able to stay composed at all times. That's not true at all. I'm weak, and I get intimidated easily. Just seeing Nendou-san made me tense up.

Sadness sweeps Reigen-san. "It looks like you're trying hard to stay strong, Ritsu-kun. Anyone would be worried."

"As I said, how is that a bad thing? Reigen-san, you're not making any sense." I would tell him that he's the same by putting on an act, but he'll just use his status as an adult to justify it.

So what if I'm acting older than my age? It's unavoidable. I didn't have a normal childhood. I don't have an ordinary life.

And I'm not going to pretend otherwise. I'm not going to run away like Mom did. I won't abandon Nii-san.