Updated Aug 2022: some small changes in this chapter :) sorry for that!

Sendoh had a terrible ache in his neck. He rubbed at it with the heel of his hand, eyes closed. He was half-asleep, but very slowly becoming aware of his position - legs curled up, shoulder pressed awkwardly beneath him, unfamiliar shape of something warm and round and firm under his ear.

He opened his eyes.

Directly ahead he saw the television; the Netflix adverts cycling silently. A few plates and drinks obscured the view. The room was full of yellow morning light that made everything seem unreal. He noticed the residue of hot sauce that had dripped from the sauce bowl onto the coffee table, oddly stark. He lifted a hand to rub at his chin and felt a dusting of small stubbly hairs. He was wearing his lounge wear. He had no blanket. Why was he here, out of bed?

He shifted and shuffled, and finally attempted to haul himself upright, into a seated position. He gripped his aching neck - he had really slept in a terrible position - and looked to the side. There he was met with the sleeping face of Rukawa Kaede. Sendoh startled a little in surprise. The recollections of the evening before came back to him.

I… fell asleep in his… lap?

He cringed silently to himself.

It had been just a joke. No more than a moment of silliness. He'd lain down in Rukawa's lap, expecting Rukawa to shove him off. It was the sort of thing he would have done to tease Koshino or Ikegami. He had a habit of being overly affectionate with anti-touchy people for the sole purpose of being annoying.

But Rukawa hadn't pushed him off. In fact, Sendoh seemed to recall, Rukawa had - petted his head? Stroked his hair? It had been nice. But looking back, Sendoh sort of wondered…

He squinted at Rukawa's still-dozing face. Had… had Rukawa been joking too? Playing along with his silliness?

Sendoh put one palm against his cheek and rubbed vigorously at his face - the part that had spent the entire night pressed in close contact with Rukawa's body heat. Ah. He shook his head. No. Be realistic. It's meaningless. Besides…

…he probably likes that other guy.

He got up carefully, without waking Rukawa, and headed for the bathroom.

When Sendoh was done in the bathroom, he came out and saw that the sofa was now empty. He followed noises into the kitchen and found Rukawa awake and washing up the plates and cups.

"You don't need to do that!" Sendoh protested. "You're my guest."

Rukawa glanced over at him, briefly acknowledging his presence, but continued with the cleaning as if he hadn't heard.

Sendoh pursed his lips. "You're gonna make me feel bad if I don't help. Here…" he reached for a dishcloth, intending to dry, but he let out a hiss as the motion tugged upon his sore neck.

Rukawa was attentive at once, fixing Sendoh with a questioning stare.

Sendoh responded with a sheepish smile. He gave a demonstrative roll of his shoulder and tilted his head. "Just an ache," he explained, brushing his fingers against his sore neck.

Unexpectedly, Rukawa perked up with interest at this news. "I can massage it," he determined at once.

"Huh?"

Rukawa turned fully towards Sendoh. "I'll massage it," he repeated. "Like you did yesterday."

"Oh!" Sendoh recalled handling Rukawa's shoulders the night before. "That?"

Sendoh had given plenty of massages to his flatmates to practise his techniques during his online course, and they'd always treated it as a joke - mostly complaining that he was torturing them, rolling on the floor in mock agony, crying out that he had hands of ice or nails like knives. Doing it for Rukawa… was the same. Easy. A bit silly. Nothing big.

But now, looking back, he felt like his actions had been maybe… too much. Rukawa did not respond the way Sendoh kept expecting him to. Did not treat it as a joke. Did not shove him away. Did not engage with him in playfulness. Rukawa was, Sendoh found, rather serious. And teasing him… felt unkind.

He shook his head internally. He was thinking way too hard about the strangest things. He wanted to treat Rukawa the same as all the rest of his friends. That was the normal thing to do. But for some reason it seemed like everything he did ended up confusing, or weird, or making him worry.

Perhaps his friend-compass was broken. Because whenever he tried to do things that would be so natural and easy with his flatmates, he seemed to end up with his heart beating fast, his expectations totally thwarted, and Rukawa's eyes gazing at him until he thought he might start seeing stars.

He realised that Rukawa was still waiting for an answer.

"Uh-" Sendoh touched his aching shoulder uncertainly. His eyes flickered down to Rukawa's hands, still partially submerged in water, with soap studs on his wrists. He took in a breath. Rukawa had unexpectedly delicate hands. They were large - though not as large as Sendoh's - and yet they were long-fingered and artistic. They seemed almost too elegant to belong to a top-athlete, hard-working and rough as they ought to have been.

Sendoh swallowed. The thought of those hands… touching him, massaging him… made him feel very strange. But he could not think of a reason to say no.

"Do you… know how to…?" He enquired.

Rukawa shrugged and made to finish off the last of the dishes. "You teach me," he demanded.

"Oh."

Rukawa wiped his hands off on a dish towel, and then turned to Sendoh. "Well? Hurry up."

At Rukawa's direction, Sendoh lay on his front on the living room floor, hands beneath his chin, elbows pointing outwards. He'd borrowed Koshino's yoga mat (because yes, Koshino was a guy with a yoga mat.) The floor was hard, but not uncomfortable.

Rukawa did not say anything but took up an unorthodox position. The younger boy straddled Sendoh's waist, kneeing on the mat, and sat himself on the curve of Sendoh's lower spine.

I'm pretty sure a masseur isn't supposed to sit like this… Sendoh thought, but despite the situation, he did not open his mouth to complain.

Rukawa was heavy. Sendoh closed his eyes at the sensation of warm thighs against his sides and the pressure that flattened his stomach against the ground. He felt like a squashed donkey.

Is he for real?

There was a moment of pause.

"What do I do?" Rukawa enquired, from somewhere above him.

Sendoh kept his eyes closed and managed to answer. "Just… knead. Carefully."

He sounded a little breathless. But only because it was hard to draw a full breath.

Rukawa leaned forwards, a shifting of his weight which Sendoh felt with total exactitude as his internal organs were compressed.

"Okay."

Rukawa's hands landed upon the meat of his shoulders and began to make motions that felt rather like he was trying to tear up a pillow.

"A bit… lighter…" Sendoh wheezed, trying not to cry.

Rukawa's hands softened a little, rising up to press his trapezius muscles, and then began to roll them in his palms.

Sendoh let out a breath through his nose and remained very still, as if he had a panther standing on his back and breathing down his neck, ready to maul.

Play dead approach.

However, despite the occasional wince and flinch, Rukawa's touch moderated to something not bad.

Sendoh kept quiet, laying prone and feeling the sensation of Rukawa's touch rubbing curiously through his shirt, those long fingers working their way gently into his tension, or warming and comforting the ache across his shoulder and neck. Rukawa's hands were firm and strong, and his touch glided over the muscles, warming them, increasing the flow of blood.

Sendoh expected him to quietly tire, and stop. But Rukawa kept up his motions. Working and kneading and pressing diligently, until Sendoh found himself falling into something like a daze.

There was something else. Something forming inside Sendoh's chest. Something very new to him.

Sendoh Akira was a generous friend. He gave to others very freely, without expectation, and without thought. Of course, he had good friends as a result, and trusted all of them. They were there for him. He knew it, and was grateful for it. And yet…

…and yet despite everything, he had never had a feeling… like this… before.

He lay there, feeling strange and trying to pin-point… what was it? This unfamiliar feeling?

It took him rather a long time to come to realise that he was… receiving.

Receiving care. Receiving attention. All from this very singular individual Rukawa Kaede. A boy who, until recently, he'd only watched and admired from afar. A boy he'd never even dared hope he would one day speak to. A boy who had seemed a thousand miles distant, like he was on the other side of the world.

Sendoh had given dozens of massages to his friends.

But he'd never once in his life received one back.

Sendoh did not know what to say. Or how to react. So he merely lay, and closed his eyes, and accepted this treasure quietly.

Rukawa's hands pressed and kneaded with firmness and gentleness both. Taking care of his body with sincere attention. And Sendoh only let himself wash out his emotions like he was being tossed in a morning storm.

It was only once the massage had ended, and Sendoh was laying face down on the floor, too relaxed and pleasured to even get up, that he thought of other things.

Thought of the things Sawakita had said - Are you chasing him?

He'd answered honestly at the time. They were friends. But now he was beginning to think that he didn't like what he had said.

He felt. Whether he wanted to, or not.

"Do you need a hand?" Rukawa's voice enquired doubtfully, surveying his prone state laying flat on the floor.

"Nnm, no- no-"

With effort, Sendoh forced himself to move. Body heavy. Head heavier. Climbing onto his knees, and then getting slowly back to his feet. "I'm okay." He moved his shoulder experimentally and found that the soreness had decreased. "Oh," he said, surprised. "It feels better!"

Rukawa tilted his head. "Isn't that… supposed to happen?"

"Well, yes. I suppose." Sendoh let out a smile that made the corners of his eyes crease up. Rukawa met his gaze with a blank expression. Neither displaying emotion, nor retreating from him.

Earnest.

That was the word Sendoh found for him.

Not innocence, because innocence meant naivety. But Rukawa was straightforward. And honest. In ways that made Sendoh's heart beat fast.

Earnest.

Sendoh had not been entirely earnest when he put his head in Rukawa's lap. He'd been… teasing. But Rukawa's hands gently stroking Sendoh's head had not been in tease.

Earnest.

Sendoh realised that he was staring. Their gazes were locked together. He licked his lips. Was there something… in the atmosphere? Something that wanted to press them together. Make something out of this quiet moment.

Sendoh forced himself to huff out a breath and break the contact of their eyes. He took a step back.

"You're really good at that," he spoke quickly.

Rukawa blinked slowly at him. And then gave a small shrug of his shoulders. "Thanks," he acknowledged quietly.

Sendoh moved his feet. The silence felt suddenly awkward.

After a moment in which Sendoh failed to think of anything to say, Rukawa turned towards the front door. "I guess that I should-" he trailed off, and glanced at Sendoh as if hoping for something more.

"Oh right," Sendoh nodded. "Of course… wait-" he headed into the kitchen, and emerged with the clean and empty tub that had previously held the gyoza. "You should take this back."

Rukawa nodded silently.

Sendoh's tongue moved impulsively to fill the silence. "Say, would you - uhm - do you wanna… meet for dinner? Or something?"

Rukawa tilted his head. "Dinner?"

"Right!" Sendoh nodded. "Well, I mean, if you're busy then, it doesn't matter. I just-"

"You want to eat out?" Rukawa interrupted.

Sendoh quickly lifted his head. "Ah, yes! That would be nice." He smiled. "I know a place, where the prices are really good. I'll treat you, if you like."

Rukawa considered for a moment. "Why would you do that?"

"Oh-" Sendoh put his hand to his chin. "Well I guess that's because…" he cracked a grin, "…I really like your company."

Rukawa pursed his lips, looking highly doubtful, and Sendoh thought he was going to refuse. But then, miraculously, he nodded his head. "Okay."

"Ah - really?"

Rukawa gave a half-nod, half-shrug. "Yeah. Why not?"

"That's great!" Sendoh beamed excitedly. "What time shall we meet?"

"I've got training," Rukawa mused. "Afterwards? Around seven-thirty?"

"Ok!"

Rukawa picked up his kit bag from the floor. "Well then…"

Sendoh realised he was still holding the plastic food tub, and held it out for Rukawa to take. Rukawa took it, and began to shuffle things around in his kit bag to make a space for it.

Then, unexpectedly, something dropped out from Rukawa's bag and hit the floor. It was a small, rectangular box.

"Whoops-" Sendoh said cheerfully, and began to reach out to help Rukawa pick it up. Then he realised what it was. For a brief second he froze, arm still outstretched.

In the moment of his hesitation, Rukawa crouched and snatched up the box, stuffing it back into his bag.

Sendoh glanced up at him enquiringly and saw that Rukawa's face had turned stony and displeased.

"I need to go," Rukawa said shortly. And before Sendoh could ask any questions, he had left through the main door, leaving Sendoh alone with his jaw all but hanging open.

It had been… a box… of condoms.

For a moment, Sendoh could not comprehend what had happened.

Why… why had Rukawa had… condoms…?

He didn't seem like the type of person to carry them regularly.

Surely… he hadn't brought them… to Sendoh's house because of Sendoh? There had been no suggestion of anything… like that!?

Confused, Sendoh stared at the door. A slow and ugly realisation crept over him.

Before Rukawa had come over for dinner… hadn't he been… with Sawakita?

Rukawa strode with large steps off campus, heading back towards his family's home. His lips were slightly pursed with displeasure.

Mother! Why do you have to go putting stuff in my bag!?

It's private!

Don't be so meddling!

-tbc

ANs: Hello. I'm so sorry for the delay. Exams are trying to kill me. I need to go a bit slower and concentrate on uni work for a bit. It's my final year and I can't afford to slip up on even one module T.T boohoohoo I'll just be writing in my limited spare time until things are less crazy. Please lend me your support ^^ Thank you for your kind comments, Caro, KazeLei, Kaede4ever, and RokudaimeLove!