The alarm rang, and Sendoh reached out to grope for his phone on the side table, missed, and fell out of bed.

"Ouch!"

He rubbed his head, still dozy and confused, and discovered that his shoulder was pressed into something rather soft. He focused his eyes and saw unfamiliar sheets and pillows beneath him. Looked forwards, and saw Rukawa's sleeping profile.

He froze.

He was not in his own bedroom at all. Recollections of the previous night returned to him. Playing basketball in the yard under the glare of the security light. Talking about their homes, their futures, and their dreams. Learning a little more about one another. Feeling like each word and each glanced shared became yet another step closer. The threads between them were becoming thicker, but more messy too.

They'd played until late. Until the moon had been full and bright. Speaking about small things that seemed at the same time to be so large. Each of them made up of so many tiny little thoughts and reactions and preferences.

Sendoh felt unbelievably privileged to know that Rukawa's dreams lay in America, yet the same knowledge gave him an ache inside.

If there was no future for them, why should he try to begin something? Wouldn't it just hurt them both if they started to like each other in that kind of way?

The almost-impossible hope that Kaede might maybe like him back… it had already grown into a real possibility. All the hints seemed to be there, tempting him. From the feeling of Kaede's leg pressing against his own (innocent, or teasing, Sendoh still wasn't sure), to Sakuragi and Myagi's reactions the day before, it seemed that Sendoh had somehow gotten a lot closer to the boy than most people ever had the good fortune to. Yet still Sendoh doubted what he should do.

Logically he felt that the mature decision would be to leave it alone. Distance himself, before they got in any deeper and wound up getting hurt. Surely, eventually, their incompatibilities would become undeniable. After all, Kaede would eventually go to America. Kaede would live the high-pressure, high-flying life of a pro sports star. Sendoh, on the other hand, would have responsibilities. He would never be free to jet off at a moment's notice to support Kaede in a game. He would be busy looking after his clients' interests. He would perhaps finish every work day tired and stressed, and he would come home to an empty apartment and a lover who was off playing basketball in another time zone.

Yes, logically he knew that in the long run it would be hard. It would be so difficult. Maybe impossible.

But would it be worth trying?

He gazed now at Rukawa's sleeping face, and knew that he admired him more than ever. Kaede Rukawa was irresistible to him.

Logic had nothing to do with it.

If there was even a chance to make it work-

-what wouldn't he do?

He had admired Rukawa since the first day he'd seen him playing alone. And now that he was lucky enough to know him better, had gotten close to him, experienced him as a flawed, somewhat awkward, wholly straightforward and completely adorable human, Sendoh only liked him more and more.

He had landed on his side on the guest mattress where Kaede was sleeping on the floor beside the bed. His graceless tumble had placed him right beside the very object of his affection, almost as if they were a couple who had laid side-by-side all night.

Sendoh didn't dare to move, worried that any motion might cause Rukawa to wake and discover his sudden proximity.

Sendoh's cheeks were softly pink as he gazed directly at Rukawa's sharp profile. His expression was relaxed in sleep, his fringe falling back from his face to reveal his full handsomeness. Sendoh's heart stuttered wildly in his chest. He'd never observed Kaede so closely before. He could see the fine pores in his skin and the translucent hair that softened his cheeks. A tiny circular brown mole decorated his ear. To be so close and see so minutely, it made Sendoh feel like he was falling into him. Physically tumbling; all his veins filling up with his presence.

He felt like he knew him. More than anyone. Loved him better than anyone else ever would or could. Wanted him with an intensity that was irresistible. Wanted what was best for him.

The conflict between the selfish and the loving parts of his heart churned up inside uncomfortably, but it was all true and all undeniable, even if it was all at odds.

There was some part of Rukawa in this moment in this silent bedroom which belonged wholly to him and to him alone. The feeling filled his stomach and bubbled up into his chest with uncharacteristic possessiveness.

As someone who had always been very easy-going, the sensation was new to Sendoh.

He'd never felt this way about anyone before.

Never this much.

Never this strongly.

Never so beyond his capacity to ignore or walk away from.

It was beyond his control and his power to resist.

Kaede's sleepy scent was twisting in his nose, awakening that dangerous, wolfish hunger. He wanted to touch him. He wanted to slide his palms against his skin. Caress his face. Hold him. He wanted so many things. He wanted to press him down into the bedsheets and make him know. Make him realise.

He stared intently into Rukawa's face, tracing the shape of his gently closed eyes, and the soft motions of his chest rising and falling with his breath. Then he forced himself to move, scrambling away, getting back up onto the bed behind him like a spider retreating into a den. He lay there panting on his back, staring at the ceiling, trying to wrest the temptations back out of his mind. Trying not to think about Kaede still laying just out of sight, beside the bed, hauntingly beautiful in sleep.

Sendoh put one hand on his chest and clutched the t-shirt Kaede had leant him to sleep in tightly in his fist. Beneath, he could feel his heart racing hard.

He couldn't resist. He had to… he just had to look again.

He rolled over, aching with the effort of being silent, and peered down at the mattress from his height.

Rukawa's brilliant, piercing eyes met his directly.

Sendoh nearly fell out of bed for the second time.

He sat upright immediately, feeling flushed and guilty to have be caught trying to look at Rukawa. "You're awake," he realised.

How long has he been awake?!

"Hm," Rukawa's hands moved up and rubbed at his eyes sleepily. "What time is it?"

Sendoh's eyes lifted to the clock hung on Rukawa's bedroom wall.

It was already past 9am.

"Oh shit-" Sendoh realised, paling rapidly. "I'm late for criminal law-!"

ANs: i'm really just writing for fun at this point :) I'll probably go back and fix some of this up later. But I'm enjoying myself too much to start taking it seriously now XD sorry it's not edited but I don't want to strive for perfection - I just wanna smile while I write.

I'm missing Rukawa's POV the last few chapters - let's go back to that next :D

Thank you Kaede4ever and Girl for leaving kind comments. I'm definitely on the mend and kids are much better too. Coughing and sneezing everywhere, but being stuck at home is a good excuse for taking it easy and enjoying small things.