A/N: So, I've noticed an inconsistency in my dates, sorry about that. I've changed the timeline of the story, putting it back a decade. For reference:
Hayden's birthday: 31st July, 1981
Marigold's birthday: 16th May, 1984
If I accidently slip up on my dates again, please let me know so I can go back and correct it and clear up any confusion that this may cause.
A/N 2: This is the longest chapter I've written yet, go me!
Chapter 8: Pains of ResponsibilityBecoming a dad over night while also being a full-time student was impossible. Hayden was forced to take two weeks off school due to 'medical problems' while Petunia hunted down and found a pre-school that was outside of the social circle that she and her 'friends' worked in. Petunia didn't want anyone who she might know to see Hayden with Marigold.
He used those two weeks to weed Marigold completed off the formula and onto soft baby food – which he made himself using vegetables and fruit that he paid for in one bulk shop. Fortunately, he was able to freeze a months' worth of food in order to make complete use of the shop he'd been allowed to do and make use of all the fruit and vegetables. Making his own baby formula meant that he was able to space out the shop brought baby food which he felt wasn't as good for Marigold but he couldn't just throw it out because he was so used to making use of everything.
As he was staying at home to look after Marigold, Petunia had him doing chores around the house. He was hoovering and dusting every day, doing the laundry, sorting out Dudley's room and wardrobe, working in the back garden and preparing fancy and elaborate meals for the Dursleys dinner each night.
Since he didn't feel right, leaving Marigold alone in her room for so long while he was doing the chores, he'd taken an old blanket which he folded and carefully sowed into a home-made papoose. While he was working, he would have Marigold strapped to his chest or back, so that he could speak softly to her. If she started fidgeting in the papoose, and it was safe to do so, Hayden would set her up on the ground for some play time on the floor next to him – normally with her favourite toy of the week in hand.
When he wasn't working on his chores, Hayden was interacting with Marigold in her room – reading his school work to her, singing phonic songs and other learning songs, and encouraging her to play with her toys – like her light up sound piano, shape slot matching, soft blocks and her story book rhymes. Marigold had many toys, but most of them she wouldn't be able to play properly with until she was a year old and she would be able to continue playing with them until she was nearly three as there was modular aspects to a few of the toys.
In order to take up more of his time, Petunia had ordered Hayden to redecorate and organise Vernon's office/study as they were anticipating receiving more work-related visitors. For much of the work, Hayden could have Marigold on his back, but there were points when it wasn't safe to have an infant in the room so he was forced to set her up in her soft play area or do those more dangerous tasks while Marigold was napping.
Vernon had purchased a new desk, a new 'drinks cabinet' a new filing cabinet and a new bookcase for his office which Hayden had to put together. The Dursleys didn't care what he did with the old furniture, so he took the desk up to the nursery for his own use and sold the bookcase and drinks cabinet to a second-hand store for some extra money. Before putting in the new furniture, he had to remove the old carpet and instead replaced it with hard wood floor.
Fortunately, the wood flooring that they'd purchased slotted together and Vernon did have a straight wood saw in the garage that he could use to cut pieces that were to long. It took a few false starts, and he'd taken some punishments from Vernon for messing up the expensive wood, but after an entire day of working the flooring was in and complete.
Hayden had thought that the hardest thing to do would have been the floor, especially since the furniture had detailed step-by-step instructions but, in the end, it was the wallpaper and the paint that he found the hardest to do. Controlling the saw had been difficult because of his size he was stronger than he looked and his magic and careful stealing of food and water meant that he had grown quickly and looked closer to ten or eleven which was why he was able to hold Marigold and why the library gave him work.
Despite being taller than his age indicated and stronger, putting up wallpaper on the long wall behind where Vernon wanted his desk wasn't easy. He had to make sure to match the patterns and also put the wallpaper down flush against the wall so that it didn't have any bubbles in it. Doing all that while balancing on a ladder and making sure to only apply the wallpaper glue in sections was a test of balance and skill he hadn't ever had to use before. Painting the other three walls was harder then painting Marigold's walls because the paint that Vernon had chosen dried in streaks if he wasn't careful with his application. In the end, he'd been forced to do four layers of paint in the office before it went on without any streaks.
After two weeks, Petunia finally completed all the paperwork to get Marigold into a nursery and Hayden was forced to adapt once more. The Nursery opened its doors to children at 8:30 until 9:00, giving parents a half hour window to drop their children off. Hayden's school opened its doors at 8:30 and closed them at 8:45, although register didn't end until 9:00. If he didn't walk through the gates before 8:45, he would be classed as late and he couldn't afford to be classed as a persistent late because that would draw attention on top of his persistent absences. Over the weekend, while he was trying to figure out what to do and the best way to handle the situation, since the nursery was nearly a forty-minute walk from his primary school, Hayden accidently apparated.
He'd been putting the finishing touches to Vernon's office while Marigold played on the floor behind him, when the sound of something creaking had him spinning rapidly on the spot. Dudley was stood by the stakes of books which Hayden had organised but not yet added to the shelves because he was waiting for the brackets to finish hardening and securing to the wall behind the bookshelf. With a smirk, Dudley reached out to push the stacks of books over – right on top of where Marigold was.
"No!" Hayden gasped, moving to jump across the room at Marigold even as he suddenly felt like he was being pulled through a straw. One moment he was trying to cover a distance he knew he wouldn't be able to make, the next, he was curling protectively over Marigold as the books fell onto his back and legs.
That night, Hayden had gone through his parent's books and discovered that he'd accidently Apparated. That night, he practised a few times across the nursery and from the nursery to the back garden and then from the house to the school and back. With focus, he was able to do it even if it left him feeling a little drained when he did the trip from the school to the house and back.
With this new ability to travel, Hayden set himself and Marigold onto a new timetable.
Hayden would get up at five every morning, strap a peacefully sleeping Marigold to his chest and go for a run through the neighbourhood. If he was to be a single father protecting an infant in an abusive household, then he needed to be strong and he needed to be able to keep going. His run would last for an hour and on making it back to the house he would wash himself using the bathroom sink as he wasn't allowed to have a shower.
Then he would make himself breakfast with food that he hid in the cupboard still designated for Marigold (Petunia and Vernon both refused to open the cupboard), as he'd decided he needed to put at least some of his money into his own health and the food he stole and hid wasn't enough anymore. while eating his own breakfast, he would also feed Marigold.
Once they'd both eaten, he'd get Marigold changed into her first set of clothes for the day (she normally ended up needing at least one clothes change later int eh day, sometimes two), then while she was playing in the soft-play area he would cook the Dursleys a breakfast that would keep until they woke up, plus made lunch for Marigold and Dudley.
Then he'd put a load of washing on time delayed so that it would be finished by the time he got back but wouldn't spend hours in an enclosed space and end up smelling mouldy. If he had time, he would also try and check of a chore or two on his list.
By the time he was done, it was seven thirty and Petunia was starting to wake up. Since it took an hour to walk to Marigold's nursery, Hayden would leave before he even saw any of the Dursleys.
Every day, Marigold's nursery bag would have her lunch (since he didn't trust the hurried workers not to take a short cut with food), two changes of clothes, three nappy covers and one insert, a pair of shoes, her bottle and the teddy that she'd chosen that morning. The lunch, refilled bottle and teddy were the only the only things that he added to the bag each morning as he'd pack the bags at night. Hayden's own bag just had his library books and any homework he needed to hand in (if his homework hadn't been taken and destroyed by Dudley).
Hayden would drop Marigold off as the gates opened, passing Marigold directly into the care of the nursery staff and letting them know about any problems she might have had in the night or that morning. Typically, there wasn't any problems to report unless Hayden had taken a punishment from Vernon and Marigold had witnessed it and it had upset her so much that she struggled to eat her dinner that night. Despite everything, Marigold was a happy baby and that showed by how she spent her day at the nursery – the staff loved her, although they did find it odd that their interaction with Petunia was most done via the phone and all in person interaction was done with Hayden.
Once Marigold was safely inside the nursery, Hayden would find a secluded place with no window looking down on him, no passers-by or cameras and he'd Apparate to a blind spot near his primary school. Using this method, he'd typically make it to school just before the gates closed although he did occasionally get caught out when Marigold was being particularly clingy or the nursery staff wanted a quick word with him.
The moment his primary school let out at three, Hayden would Apparate back to the nursery so that he could pick up Marigold and then return to the library where he would work for two hours before walking home. The first time that Hayden brought Marigold with him to the library, the Librarian realised why it was that a boy of only ten wanted to work more hours. She didn't mind him bringing her with him into the library since she was a good girl and wasn't prone to crying loudly for attention – especially since Hayden either worked with her on his chest or set her up in the child section of library where she played or napped in the soft blankets.
Marigold's first birthday happened on a school day, but Hayden tried to make it special. He'd found a polaroid camera at a second-hand store so that he could document the happier moments of Marigold's life for her to look back on when she was older. Hayden may never be able to forget anything, but Marigold would need visual reminders that there were happy moments in her baby years.
As the days moved towards the end of his first school year and his sixth birthday, Hayden started making moves to improving Marigold's and his own future. He was researching psychology and counselling books, with a focus on broken attachments in the infant stage as he feared that Marigold would remember the abandonment of Petunia, and she would be facing the trauma of seeing her primary carer (Hayden) be beaten when Vernon wouldn't take him into another room.
He also started documented and recording his everything about his day and Marigolds – including pictures of the injuries he took from Vernon's rage. He recorded all the chores he did, how much he and Marigold ate, what he spent his money on, the number of hours he worked and how much he earned, as well as details of Vernon's 'punishments'. He even went back and included everything dating back to his very first day with the Dursleys.
Despite preparing documentation, Hayden wasn't sure if he'd be able to give it to Child Protective Service or the Police because he feared being separated from Marigold. Siblings were regularly split up when placed into orphanages and foster homes, especially when there was a large age gap between them, and despite everything he wasn't only Marigold's cousin.
He'd been planning on taking his chances and giving the evidence in so that he and Marigold would be taken out of the Dursleys home before the summer holiday. But he knew that the Librarian had reported the Dursleys to the police already and so had one of the cover teachers, and yet nothing had been done. He didn't know if it was the influence of magic or simple Vernon supressing the reports, but if the information they'd given didn't warrant an investigation he worried that his documents would do nothing more than increase the abuse he was already facing.
When he committed to his choice, he'd either be resigning Marigold and himself to the abuse of the Dursleys without a fight until he was eleven or there was a chance that they would be taken out of the household and placed somewhere better. Of course, there was also the possibility of being placed somewhere worse or making the abuse Hayden already suffered worse, and he wasn't sure yet which he could live with. He was going to make a decision before the start of his second year at school.
Putting everything that was happening to him down on paper had the side effect of helping Hayden balance his emotions which had started becoming strained under the stress he'd been placed under. With Hyperthymesia forcing his memories to build up and constantly be demanding for his attention even when he was lying somewhere in a silent and dark room, he'd already begun the process of Occlumency which had helped him to sort the input that he was getting. But, the Occlumency didn't help him actually handle his emotions, address what it was he'd been forced to feel or experience or anything else he'd been through since the death of his parents. Writing everything down, going back to the beginning and working his way forward, including everything – including his reactions and emotions helped to balance him out in a way he hadn't realised that he had needed until after he took responsibility of Marigold.
In the week holiday that separated term 5 from term 6, the end of May and the beginning of June, Hayden had stumbled across some protect runes research in his mother's diary which had him doing some independent research with the runes books that he's mother had included. It took him until the end of the sixth term to actually finish the project that his mother had started, but he'd been determined to do for Marigold what his mother had wanted to do for him.
Before her death, his mother had designed a rune sequence which linked two or more objects to allow the 'master' wearing to trigger a location spell on the 'subordinate objects'. It also allowed the master wearer to determine the physical health of those wearing the subordinate objects. She'd had plans to incorporate several other aspects, but hadn't managed to include those other aspects before her death so Hyden had taken his mother's research and completed.
Now, the completed rune sequence also allowed the master wearer to Apparate to the subordinate objects side, and if in danger the subordinate object could be turned into a portkey which the wearer could trigger or the master wearer. In addition to the physical wellbeing and identification runes, there was also the emotional wellbeing and identification runes that he added so that master wearer would know what the subordinate wearer was feeling. Finally, there was the blood lock which prevented anyone but Marigold and Hayden from removing the charmed piece of jewellery.
In the bag that his mother had given him, there was a smaller number of jewelleries – including a necklace that had once belonged to Hayden's mothers and her mother before her. Hayden didn't know why, as it wasn't included in her journals, but Lily had stopped wearing it at some point after going into hiding despite having worn it every day since her grandmother had given it to her since her thirteenth birthday. Hayden decided to give this legacy gift to Marigold and to use it so he could protect her.
For the master part of the link, Hayden had simple carved into the back of a flat piece of metal which he'd found on the ground and cleaned. Instead of wearing it like a necklace, he turned it into a bracelet on his left hand using a piece of string which he braided to make stronger. Fortunately, the passive use of runes did not prevent Hayden using active charms so he was able to cast notice-me-not charms and glamours on both his bracelet and Marigold's necklace so that no one would be able see, feel or notice them.
Only a week into his first summer holidays, Vernon did something which forced Hayden to submit his report to both the police and the child protective services in the hopes that things would be better.
In order to celebrate the end of the school year, Petunia had taken Dudley out to see a movie with one his friends and also to eat a dinner. With the movie being an evening showing, and then the dinner they wouldn't be back until late. Vernon had gone out for his own dinner and a drink, and came home drunk.
Hayden had heard the uneven and unsteady footsteps of his drunk uncle before, so he knew the likely outcome of such an event. Not wanting Marigold to witness anything more than she already had, Hayden kissed her on the forehead and left the sleeping toddler in her crip before slipping out into the hallway – making sure the door was shut firmly behind him and locked with magic; Vernon wouldn't be able to get into the room without him opening it first.
"Freak! Get down here now!" Vernon shouted from the bottom of the staircase.
Knowing the consequences of delaying, Hayden silently slipped down the stairs hoping the man wouldn't shout again as he didn't want him to wake up Marigold as he'd had trouble getting her down for the night.
"You know what to do," Vernon growled, pointing to the office.
Hayden silently went passed his uncle, entering the office and making sure that the curtains had been closed before kneeling in the middle of the floor. Vernon walked past his still form and to his drinks cabinet where he poured himself a rather large glass of scotch considering the fact that he was already intoxicated.
Vernon downed half the glass before putting it down on his table and turning to the single painting he had in his office – a copy of Claude Monet's Bridge – which covered his safe. The safe wasn't wear Vernon kept money or jewels – those were kept in the safe in the wardrobe of his bedroom – instead this was where the tools he used against Hayden were kept. Hayden knew the code for this safe as Vernon regularly forced him to clean the tools as well as the room after he'd been 'punished' or Vernon had 'displayed his power and authority'.
"Remove your clothes boy," Vernon turned back round while fiddling with the lighter that he'd chosen.
Hayden's muscles tightened briefly at that order. He'd known this wasn't a punishment session, just Vernon asserting his power and authority. But, with that order, Hayden knew that Vernon was going to drag this out and he might even try and experiment with new ways of causing pain as he'd taken to doing every now and then in the last year with the increased viciousness of the punishments.
Under the impatient gaze of his uncle, Hayden removed his clothes and placed them next to the door so that they would hopefully be out of the way of any potential blood splatter that Vernon would inevitably cause. Once he was naked, Hayden returned to his kneeling position in the middle of the floor – but this time he placed his hands flat on the floor next to his knees instead of on his knees as he'd had them before.
He knew better.
Downing the rest of his glass, Vernon lit the lighter and turned it so the flame was on blue and Hayden could hear the sound of gas leaving the torch. In no hurry, Vernon approached Hayden – dragging the plastic visitors chair with him to sit on – until he was directly in front of him. Then, he took a seat and pressed the flame into Hayden's left shoulder.
Hayden gritted his teeth to stop the scream but couldn't stop the grunt of pain. Until he worked out what mood Vernon was in, he wouldn't scream because more often than not screaming would end in more pain for him. When he screamed, it ruined Vernon's power trip because then he was "breaking his rules" and Vernon was big on making sure Hayden followed the rules.
Slowly, Vernon worked his way down Hayden's arm with the lighter, clustering the burns close together until he was hallway down his forearm. When he grew bored with burning him as he so often did, Vernon went back to the safe. With his bulk in the way, Hayden couldn't see what he was choosing from his kneeling position, but he swallowed thickly when Vernon turned back round with a serrated knife in his hand.
"I grow tired boy…" Vernon ran the blade across Hayden's right bicep deep enough to bleed and eventually scar. "…I was successful… important… a somebody…"
With each remark Vernon cut him again.
"Now… I'm stuck in a middle office… unpromotable…"
The sharp pain of the knife made it difficult to hold still where the burning pain of the fire had numbed after the initial moment as it burned off nerve endings. In a forced attempt to keep himself still, his neck muscled tensed and his fingers turned white with the pressure he was putting through them into the floor.
Vernon enjoyed using the knife more then the lighter, likely because he liked the feeling of the blade cutting through his skin – the resistance and the blood that was slowly travelling down his arm and pooling on the floor beneath him. When he ran out of arm to cut – going all the way down to his wrist – Vernon started marking up his chest and then his thighs.
Unlike with the cuts that had been done down his arm, the ones that Vernon made across his chest and thighs were neat, short and one directional. Instead, the lines he made zigged or swirled, suddenly changed direction or would lighten to a barely noticeable mark and then deepen once more. Several times, Hayden was forced to hold his breath as Vernon pushed the knife more then a few millimetres deep – at one point he cut his stomach so deep that Hayden feared that his organs were in danger.
With the volume of blood that he was losing from his stomach, Vernon was smart enough to put the knife aside for the time being.
"On you're stomach." Vernon grunted as he pushed his chair back – leaving a trail of blood as the chair legs move out of the pool of blood that had already reached them. "Face down."
Hayden did as he was ordered even as he was confused. With his face to the ground, he couldn't see what Vernon was doing, but he could hear the man's footsteps as he went to the safe and back again. He spent longer at the safe this time and Hayden could hear the sound of fabric being moved.
Instead of sitting back down on his chair, Vernon knelt next to Hayden's laying body – close enough that his knees touched Hayden's hip. Hayden forced his body not to flinch when he realised that Vernon's knees were not covered in fabric like they should be.
Something heavy and metal was placed across his shoulders, then his hips, the back of his knees and finally his ankles. With the weight pinning him to the ground, Hayden's breath was nearly forced out of him as the objects restricted the expansion of his ribcage.
Vernon then grabbed Hayden's hair to pull his head back a bit, which allowed him to then force a gag into his mouth. The gag wasn't tied round the back of his head to keep it in place, it was instead a large piece of fabric which Vernon shoved into his mouth until Hayden was gagging on it. Vernon let Hayden's hair go, allowing his head to return to its position against the floor as he tried to figure out how to breath just through his nose.
A piece of rope was then slipped under his neck and crossed over behind him so that Vernon could hold onto both ends. He pulled against the rope enough that Hayden could feel the rope briefly brushing against his neck but Vernon didn't pull it tight or try and chock him.
One of Vernon's hands started trailing across the scars on Hayden's back – pressing down hard over where Hayden knew some of the bolder scars where – his other hand trailed over his as and his fingers slowly started pushing into him.
Hayden stopped breathing altogether for a moment when he realised what was happening and what it was Vernon was doing. There were so many different ways for men like Vernon to assert their power, it had never occurred to Hayden that Vernon would try and do this – to dominate him in such a way. Hayden had lost so much to Vernon and now to lose the last of his innocents…
A scream was cut off by the fabric stuffed in his mouth as Vernon forced his finger all the way inside until Hayden could feel the man's knuckles pushing into his cheeks. In punishment for the scream, Vernon took the hand that had been caressing his back and pulled sharply on the rope.
Chocking, desperately fighting for air, Hayden's body pushed against the weights holding him down. He heard a grunt of pleasure from Vernon even as the rope tightened around his neck. Vernon didn't release the rope to allow him to breath until his body was going limp and his vision black from a lack of oxygen.
"Scream again, the punishment will be worse." Vernon leaned down and whispered threateningly into his ear.
Hayden kept his body still and focused on breathing through his nose, trying to dissociated from what was happening. He might always remember what had happened but he didn't have to always remember what he felt. He just needed to keep breathing.
In and out… in and out… in and out…
New Count: 4,681
Old Count: 2,457
Although I do have some psychological training, I have not extensively studied the mental psychology of abusers and tortures which is what I have based Vernon's mentality off. So, if you have studies such, please don't lynch me and remember that this is fiction.