Road Trip Part 3
"I wonder how Nancy's doing?"
"Heck if I know." Alice replied as she folded just one of the many FarmCon shirts she managed to nab before the angry mob came after her for taking too much swag, again.
Bill sat on the other hotel bed, mindlessly kicking his legs back and forth. "You think she'll make it here alright? Nancy's good with direction sure, but what if she-"
Alice rolled her bespeckled eyes. "Now Billy boy there are many things I'd change about that woman if I could,but Nancy knows the road better than anyone. Heck she's probably cruising along right now, not a care in the world."
"Oh this is bad." Nancy wheezed into her hands as everyone came dashing back under the diner's overhang after three hours of searching.
Tilly shook her head in dismay, clutching tighter to Saxon. "We've looked everywhere, the Kludge's gone!"
"Someone must've stolen it. Urgh, I knew this place was shadier than a sunglass emporium. " Chip surmised with a self berating forehead slap as he continued to scream on the inside (mostly).
"Oh great, so we're stranded!" Gloria cried hysterically, the blanket on her shoulders slipping off and falling to the wet ground.
"Man, Dad's gonna freak!" Cricket joined in, gripping the sides of his widow's peak between his trembling hands. Chip belatedly realized Tilly and Nancy shared the same deadpanned look as everyone continued to panic.
"Bill's gonna kill me.." Nancy managed to get out. She shook her head, and snapped. "Urgh, this is all my fault, if I hadn't stopped here-"
"Or maybe if someone hadn't opened his big mouth," Gloria muttered, pointedly glaring at Chip.
"You think I wanted this to happen!" Chip spluttered. "All my things were in that dumb truck!"
"So were our phones." Nancy sighed. "Now I can't even call Bill to tell him I lost the truck he's had since he was a teenager."
"Don't blame yourself Mama," Tilly tried, finally snapping from her trance. "You couldn't have known this would happen."
Chip sighed himself into composure. "Okay, this cruddy diner probably has a phone right?"
"We do actually, but unfortunately it's been busted for days and hey!" Chip jumped, spinning around to see Christine standing there by the door.
"Then, do you know if there's a car rental nearby or something?" Gloria asked.
Christine put a finger beneath her chin. "The nearest place I know of is about fifty miles from here."
Everyone collectively groaned. Christine pursed her lips. "But there's also a bus stop pretty nearby."
"How far?" Cricket asked.
"About twelve miles that way." Christine pointed to her right. "I'd give y'all a ride if my car wasn't-"
"Let me guess busted?" Gloria interrupted. Everyone groaned again and looked to Nancy for direction.
The biker sighed, squaring her shoulders as she finally came back to herself. "Alright then, let's all get our walking shoes on."
"Except Cricket right?" Chip half heartedly quipped, causing everyone to groan. They began trudging towards the interstate and just as the diner became shrouded by the surrounding woods again, Chip could just barely hear Christine calling out after them.
"Y'all are lucky it rained last night, we're supposed to be in the middle of a drought."
"Go on a road trip they said, it'll be fun they said," Gloria rambled to herself as they walked alongside the desolate interstate. They'd been walking for over two hours now.
Gloria couldn't tell if Cricket's eyes were glazed over with tears or sweat as the ten year old half haphazardly swung his arm against Nancy's leg to get her attention. He made grabby hands. "Water.."
Nancy's brows dropped in sympathy. "I'm sorry sug' I don't have any, but maybe we'll come across a gas station soon…"
"Hopefully they'll have an umbrella." Tilly added, putting a hand above her forehead to shield her gaze from the beating sun. "My cold thoughts can only hold off this heat for so-" Tilly cut herself off as the sound of a loud thud filled the air.
Chip had face planted into the dirt.
Gloria rolled her eyes as she grabbed a nearby stick and started poking his shoulder with it, shooing away the black crow picking at Chip's hair. "Chip, stop trying to die, it's not going to happen."
"A man can dream can't he?" Chip raised his tired mug from the dirt to glare at her. Yeesh, he was really starting to turn red.
"Not when that man's survived a fall from a ten story building and a helicopter crash." Cricket pointed out as he came up by Chip's side to grab his arm. In his attempt to get Chip to his feet though, Cricket just came crashing to the dirt himself.
The tired ten year old closed his eyes. "On second thought, why don't y'all just go on without us. Maybe the vultures'll give us a ride to Medium City…"
Gloria rolled her eyes again and bent down to grab the two by their shirt collars. She began dragging them behind her like tires at the gym. "C'mon slackers, we're burning daylight."
"Good." They both moaned.
"If only some of these cars would slow down enough for us to ask for a ride." Tilly mused as they watched yet another speed junkie zip on past, splashing muddy water in their direction as a parting sad part was in this heat Gloria was actually kind of grateful.
Nancy hummed. "You Tilly that idea's not half bad." The biker looked back and forth as another car came barreling down in the distance. She stuck out her best hitch hiker thumb for the car as it came by…only for it to speed up immediately and drive right past them.
Gloria sighed as she marched ahead. "So much for country hospitality."
"Is that a barn?"
"Hm?" Nancy's eyes followed Gloria's to an old crummy building in the distance. The place couldn't looked more abandoned if someone had lit a match and burned it to ashes.
Nancy frowned. "An empty barn by the looks of it."
"It's shade." Chip deadpanned beside them, his sun burn had quickly spread to his arms once he got sick of the heat and had to tie his button up shirt and blazer around his waist. Without another word he started walking towards the barn.
Nancy debated stopping him, but Cricket and Tilly were quick to follow, and after another second of just standing there Gloria too joined them with a sigh.
Nancy shrugged and walked after them.
"That's better." Chip sighed in relief as he leaned against the crooked barn wall, uncaring of the way it rattled in response.
Nancy bit her lip as she wrung out her fake leather jacket, the stored up sweat splashed against the dirt and evaporated just as quickly. Poor Cricket looked like he'd drink it if he could.
"Better enjoy it before the roof caves in." Gloria agreed, rubbing an arm against her forehead. "And-Wait a second is that what I think it is?" The twenty four year old mindlessly walked towards the other side of the rundown barn. Chip arched his brow as he watched Gloria grab a random barral by the barely hanging on doorway.
"It's water!" Gloria gasped, eyes wide as she stared down at the clear goodness sloshing back and forth in the barral. Nancy and Tilly's eyes widened, and even Cricket seemed weary.
"Wait Gloria don't, you don't-" Tilly's protest was cut off with a loud splash as Gloria dunked her head in. "drink.. barral water, Gloria."
"Oh c'mon relax." Gloria replied once she came up for air and shook her head back and forth to shake the water out. "It was clear as a mirror, I'll be fine."
Tilly shook her head in exasperation.
"C'mooooon." Cricket whined, the spitting an image of a lost desert traveler with his shirt pulled over the top of his head to ward off heat and his widow's peak falling limp with all the sweat. "The tumbleweeds are moving faster than us at this rate."
Nancy sighed as she looked down at her tired boy. She had to agree. "I know, sug' ,but as long as we keep moving we'll be-"
"Gridlocked!"
"Huh?" Nancy looked up in time to see a row of cars stuck in traffic way up ahead, she took a moment to register the shock, then sprinted along with Gloria and the others at full speed towards their salvation.
"Okay," She said once they were parallel with the cars. "We gotta be quick before they start moving again, everyone fan out!"
Tilly and Cricket nodded as they and Gloria took off in directions. The only one who hadn't moved was Chip, who …was busy putting his button up and blazer back on.
Nancy's mouth fell into an opened mouth frown, as she just stared at the man in perplexity for a few minutes.
"Chip what are you-"
"Ah,ah, shh." Chip put up a finger to silence her as he worked on the next button. "Almost…got it-"
"We got nothing!" Nancy whipped her head around to see Cricket and Tilly running back with tears running down their cheeks.
"What? That quick?"
"Everyone's on vacation with their families apparently and they don't have enough room." Cricket sniffled and held up a half full water bottle. "Most we could get was this half empty water bottle."
"Oh sug-"
Nancy was cut off by the sound of panting as Gloria came running in from the other direction. The artist shook her head no as she fell down to clutch her knees.
Just as Nancy debated cutting their losses and continuing their trekk, Chip finally finished buttoning his shirt. Without warning he swiped the water bottle from Cricket and screwed off the cap.
"Hey!"
Chip ignored everyone's stares as he poured the water into his hand and splashed his eyes with it. He tossed the empty bottle away without a care, slicked his hair back as he checked his appearance in the reflection of someone's car window, and began walked down the row of cars.
Everyone frowned, watching in confusion.
Chip finally stopped at a blue minivan. He straightened his tie and knocked on the passenger side window.
It rolled down to reveal a woman, probably just shy of thirty staring at Chip in perplexity from the driver's seat. "Uh, hello?"
Chip took a deep breath, and then his face shifted into a dramatic cry face. He even faked a sniffle. "H-hi I'm just a poor city boy who needs to learn that there's more to life than money or some junk, and I got lost at I think the tenth or maybe eleventh cornfield. I can't remember." Chip wiped a fake tear from his eye. "Now I'm lost, I don't know where I am, and I even chipped my tooth, believe it not." Chip dissolved into more fake crying.
Gloria and Cricket shared a flat side eye.
"C-could you find it in your good, no doubt down to Earth country girl heart t-to give me and my work associates a ride?" Chip clasped his hands together in a truly saccharine display, going as far as to bat his eyes at her.
Gloria scoffed, turning to Nancy with her arms crossed. "C'mon. Does he really think that'll wor-"
"Oh you poor thing," The woman cooed sympathetically, placing her hand over his. "Sure thing, get right in."
Gloria's jaw smacked against the ground as Chip whipped his head over his shoulder with a smirk. Almost resembling the time he stood over the flames of Big Coffee and the apartment complex.
"Thank you Rachel, if I ever work up the courage to tell my father I don't want to wed that supermodel fiance he's forcing me to marry to save the company. I'll be sure to find you." Chip said as everyone waved goodbye.
Turns out Rachel could only take them about half an hour's worth up the road before she had to take the next exit to Little City, but hey it was better than nothing.
Gloria folded her arms as Chip slowed to walk beside her. "Sorry what was that about-"
Chip cut himself off with a subdued "Meep." as Gloria deliberately stomped on his foot and shushed him with a finger to his mouth.
"Not a word." Coffee girl threatened as she walked ahead.
"Urghhhhh, are we ever gonna find that bus stop!" Cricket cried, throwing his arms to the hot air.
"Course we will Sug'." Nancy replied, wiping her sweaty brow as she determinedly gripped her son's hand. She'd messed up enough already and the last thing she was about to do was let her family die out here. "Just a little further I can feel it. All we gotta do is keep our spirits up."
"Yeah!" Gloria cheered, completely unprompted. Uh oh. "Also is it just me or is my hand getting smaller?" She narrowed her eyes goofily as she studied the appendage.
Tilly frowned, lowering the shades Chip was kind enough to lend her. "Maybe we could sing something to pass the time?"
Chip and Cricket looked ready to say something, but before they could Tilly and Nancy barked out a resounding. "Not barry cuda."
A silence settled over them for a minute or two, then a low hum began to fill the air. It was coming from Gloria.
Another half a minute passed and the humming got louder and louder til it upgraded to a full whisper. "~So if things are feelin' wrong, and your life is all askew~"
Nancy couldn't help ,but smile, thinking of Alice. "~Just climb the tallest hill you find~"
Tilly and Cricket shrugged as they shared a look and joined in. "~And change your point of view.~"
Chip arched his brow, before joining everyone in the big chorus part.
"~It's tru-u-u-u-ue~" They sang together, tired, thirsty, and a touch hallucinogenic, but together.
Chip slapped Gloria's hand away for the tenth time in a row as she tried to reach for his hair again. "Gloria for the last time my hair is not ice cream."
"How would you know?" She retorted childishly. "Have you ever tried it?"
Chip's eye twitched, he took a deep breath. "Just ignore her, just ingor-" He cut himself off to slap her hand away again.
Gloria pouted holding her struck appendage close to her chest. She looked like she might actually start crying. "Guuuuys! Chip's being a meanie head!"
"Am not!"
"Chip, stop being a meanie head." Cricket chided absentmindedly, not even bothering to look back at them.
Chip huffed, crossing his arms. Gloria copied the motion and they walked like that for another few paces before the twenty four year old suddenly erupted into giggles.
Chip arched his brow. "What?"
Gloria ignored him, continuing to giggle.
"What's so funny?"
Finally the artist seemed to notice him again. "Wanna know a secret?" She said in a whispery voice, not lowering it even slightly.
Chip frowned. "Uh?"
Gloria beckoned him over with a crook of her finger. Chip blinked, leaning in as she cupped a hand over his ear.
"My name…is Gloria." She'd barely finished the statement before bursting into another obnoxious round of laughter.
Chip felt his eye twitch.
"Hey I feel like singing again, aaaaaaaa-hundred bottles of milk on the wall, a hundred bottles of
Chip, along with the rest of their posse groaned in annoyance. He almost wished he'd been in the Kludge when it got stolen.
"Gloria No! Stop trying to chase the giant invisible penguin, he's not your friend!" Cricket shouted, digging his heels into the dirt as he gripped the child leash Chip found on the side of the road a mile back.
Chip huffed, crossing his arms with a smirk. And they said the leash was 'inhumane'.
"But he said he'd let us use his pool!" Gloria defended as she flailed her arms forward like a toddler being dragged away from a candy store.
Cricket gritted his bucked teeth, looking over his shoulder helplessly. "Little help here?"
Chip sighed and grabbed the leash, he began trying to yank Gloria back, only to subsequently be pulled forward with Cricket instead. Man she was strong, even when Nancy joined the frey they still had trouble.
Really they only managed to get Gloria under control again when Tilly distracted her with one of those dumb paper fortune tellers.
"One two three-ooooo I'm gonna have two kids and marry a pilot!"
Chip rolled his eyes. "Sure you are ponytail, sure you are."
They tried not to get their hopes up, after all it could have very well been a mirage ,but as soon as the automatic doors parted and they were hit with that heavenly blast of ac, they knew. They'd found salvation.
Cricket dashed as fast as he could over to the refrigerated drinks and yanked open one of the freezer doors. "Aw yeah that's the stuff." Cricket said with his arms splayed out wide so he could absorb as much of the cold breeze as possible.
From the corner of his eye the ten year old watched the cashier raise his brow at them like they were a pack of rabid dogs. To be fair, they weren't giving him much reason to think otherwise.
By the time they got to check out, they'd accrued a soccer team's worth of bottled water and Splish, also an umbrella.
"Any…aloe?" Chip panted as he hauled his body up from the floor by using the checkout counter as a makeshift pull up bar.
The cashier jumped. His name tag read Norman as he nervously looked Chip up and down. "Uh..no?"
Chip sighed. "Okay, then I'd like to add this twenty pound bag of ice to our purchase." He slapped the bag onto the counter without so much as blinking.
"And all the nacho cheese you've got." Gloria added, pounding her fist against the counter. Mom shook her head and handed Norman the handful of cash. "No, no. No cheese. Just the drinks and the ice please."
Norman gave them all another unsubtle once over before shrugging as he began bagging everything up.
"So how much-" Chip's question was drowned out by the crunch of ice cubes between his teeth. "-rther to the bus stop?"
"I have no idea." Nancy admitted as she took another swig of her water. "I just figure we'll know when we see i-" The biker cut herself off as she took a second to process the thin strip of shadow shielding her eyes. She turned with a frown to see a tall bus stop sign standing directly beside them. "Oh."
"We made it!" Cricket cheered, launching himself in the air so he could latch onto the pole with a joyous squeal.
Nancy sighed with a tight smile. They sure did.
"Uh oh."
Nancy turned to see Tilly staring at the bus schedule sign a few feet away. "Says here Mama, the next stop is Medium Town that's at least a mile from Medium City if I remember correctly. And the stop after that is Medium Country, even farther from Medium City."
"Yayyyy!" Gloria cheered, jumping into the air. "More walking!"
"Are you kidding me?!" Chip cried, throwing his arms out.
Nancy sighed, pinching the space between her brows. "Kiddos relax, we'll at least have a break on the bus, plus there's gotta be a car rental place in Medium Town right? We'll be okay."
At that exact moment the bus chose to roll up, it moved slow, like really slow. And a plethora of graffiti tags decorated the side. Someone opened their window to spit out the side.
The rusty doors opened, and a wild chicken flew out and darted into the distance. A cigar smoking middle aged woman greeted them from the driver's seat. "All aboard?"
Chip's gaze flattened. "On second thought I think I'll just keep walking." He turned to fulfill that declaration. Nancy didn't even to turn as she grabbed his collar. "Chip, get on the bus."
"Nancy, that thing is a death trap." Chip argued as he spun around.
"Oh c'mon how's it any different than the subway?" Cricket tried as he struggled to hold onto Gloria's leash.
"Because at least with the subway I know it's not suddenly gonna break down." Chip shot back.
"Hey I don't have all day!" The bus driver called to them. "Ya getting on or aren't ya?"
"Aren't." Chip declared firmly.
Nancy sighed, pinching her nose. Just great, all this because she forgot to set that stupid alarm.
'No, I can't give up now. C'mon think Nanc, what would Bill do..what would Bill do..what would I do?"
"Chip-"
"I'm not getting on."
"Chip-"
"You can't make me."
"Chip!" Nancy suddenly yelled. She snatched his shirt collar between her fist and dragged him down to make eye contact. "Either you get on this bus or I'm tying you to the bumper!"
Chip's sun burned face went amazingly pale as he seemed to shrink in on himself. "But-" His meek protest was cut off as Nancy shoved him forward onto the bus. "No buts mister, move. Everyone move, move!"
Cricket and Tilly shared a frightened look as they quickly hopped up the bus steps after Chip. Nancy helped Gloria stay upright as they boarded.
They had to take the long seat in the very back, right next to an old woman with a pet parrot that kept quoting the songs from the radio,but it couldn't have felt more like heaven.
Nancy sighed as she leaned her head against Gloria's shoulder who was busy drooling on Chip's shoulder as she slept.
'Now if only I could learn to be that assertive with my own children.' Nancy thought wryly as Cricket and Tilly laid passed out in her lap.
Nancy sighed again as she realized she was probably the only one not going to get any sleep, kept too awake by the thought of breaking the news to Bill about the Kludge.
Who knows, maybe a miracle would happen and they'd find it just in time.
Nancy smiled as she looked back over at Chip and Gloria. Crazier things had happened to this family.