~ Go away ~

The war was over. He had survived and had left everything behind him. He didn't need anyone to remind him what he had done. Especially not her.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. In the first part of the chapter and a bit around the middle, almost every recognizable sentence formatted in italics, is taken by the actual book(s) and it does belong to JKR not me. So go ahead, read and enjoy!

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Darkness.

Cold.

Fear.

The scent of grass and citrus in the air. A bitten green apple into his pocket.

Footsteps.

Up, up, up he went to the staircase, until he was at the top of the tower. The Dark Mark was pulsating in his left arm; the snake coiling around the skull as if it was alive. The same mark he had conjured moments ago in the sky to draw Dumbledore there.

He knew the spell. Avada Kedavra.

"Expelliarmus!" he had shouted and Dumbledore's wand had flown up in the air and then had dropped away in the distance. Out of reach.

"Killing is not nearly as easy as the innocent believe."

His hand shook terribly. He had to act.

"I can help you Draco. Come over to the right side…"

There were no other options for him.

"You are at my mercy." he spat.

"No, Draco. It is my mercy, and not yours, that matters now."

"Severus…Please…"

Snape. A green flash. Death.

The scene dissolved.

.

"Look Draco, isn't it the Granger girl?"

"I…maybe..yeah…"

"Where did you get the sword? Where? What else did you take? Crucio!"

Screams. Deafening screams. The body on the floor writhed and squirmed in agony and pain.

"It isn't the real sword! It's a copy, just a copy!"

"CRUCIO!"

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Fucking hell!

Draco woke with a start. With trembling hands, he brushed away the cold sweat that had gather on his forehead and tried to control his breathing pattern.

Nightmares. He had had them before; he was no fool to believe he'd get rid of them easily after so many years of repeat, but this time, tonight, he could swear that they had been a bit stronger. The voices were clearer in his dream, the colors more vivid, the scent was… The scent was Granger's.

Fucking, Bloody, irritating Granger.

He could still smell her citrus-induced aroma on the tip of his nose, fuck, he could even taste it on his tongue; fresh, bitter and acidic. Since the day he had met her again, after all these years, the nightmares had been returning more often than not, now frequently featuring Malfoy Manor as well as the Astronomy Tower. The memory was carved into his mind crystal clear; her screams, her agony, her pain; it had all been so strong that he could physically feel it back then, and yet she had impossibly resisted breaking under his crazy aunt's curses.

He had never apologized for that either.

Draco got up leaning on his bed for support and when the blackness in his eyes subdued, he approached his dresser and got out the bottle of whiskey he stored there.

Alcohol. Since day one it had been the only treatment, the only way out of his memories, out of himself. He had despised his weakness at first; he had insisted that Malfoys were stronger than that, but eventually nothing else had the ability to supply him with a haven as alcohol did. Except maybe sex, but that lasted significantly lesser most of times and then he was back to where he had started.

The yellowish liquid ran down his throat supple and he sighed with relief. The burning was intense, but it was also a welcomed distraction and he relished the sensation as always. How could he make the nightmares go away? Would he ever get rid of them? Would he ever manage to forget what he had done?

"Can I help you with that?"

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

.

His routine continued for the next three weeks.

Everyday he got up, dressed and went to work, stayed there for good ten-hours brewing and serving customers and then returned home, got some whisky in and went to sleep – sometimes with Kate along, sometimes alone. Then came the nightmares, and while he was used to having them, Kate certainly wasn't. Some mornings she seemed to be softer towards him, as if she was sympathetic for his troubles. Others, she was nervous and fidgeting, as if she was afraid of him. And then there were mornings like this day.

"Who the hell is Granger, Draco?"

Draco had turned to face her surprised when she had continued: "You were calling her name in your sleep."

Fuck. He had tensed immediately, while she had pressed on the matter. His instinct had been persistent and his hand was inches away from his wand under his pillow; itching to aim a good legilimens at her way to calculate how much damage was done there. He had managed to hold back thinking that he shouldn't do magic before muggles when he counted on the ministry for evaluation and a ticket out of the country.

But. She had pressed on firmly and he had had frankly no other choice.

He had opted for wandless legilimency; after all he had become superb at this branch of magic that the wand would only offer that tiny bit more effectiveness and he didn't need it. It wasn't as if he would delve into Voldemort's mind after all or worse; Snape's. Kate was a muggle and this should be as easy as riding a broomstick, so he had gone for it. He had rushed into her mind eagerly; feeling powerful and blissfully important again. It had been so long since he had used magic against someone that his heart had been leaping against his ribcage with excitement at the feeling. He could almost hear it pounding wildly on his chest. He had then keenly pushed forward ignoring today's images and he had quickly found himself staring at himself fast asleep but obviously in pain. Draco in the memories had been dreaming; and not a pleasant dream by the looks of it. He had waited a few seconds and then there it was.

"Granger, they're after Muggles. Do you want to be showing off your knickers in midair? Keep that big bushy head down, Granger."

"Stand back. Line up against the back wall. Don't try anything or I'll kill you"

"Don't get your knickers in a twist, Granger."

He had wondered then if Kate had seen or heard so much more while he slept beside her ignorant and yet isolated at nights. He searched more thoroughly; frantically trying to locate himself inside her memories. He sneered when he saw her on a date with another man, snickered when he saw her trying dresses for their date and smirked when he saw her coiling away from him once that he had been furious.

No other sound of Dumbledore, Voldemort, Potter or Granger was to be heard though and satisfied he ended the spell and with swift movements grabbed his wand and in almost zero time he had petrified her.

"Obliviate"

The process started and he quickly extracted the unwanted memories and stored them into his crystal vials. It didn't take long. When he was finished, he observed her with a frown in his eyebrows. Yes she was pretty; not beautiful but that was irrelevant. It wasn't as if they went out in public together and he certainly didn't plan to marry her. She was talented in bed and that was it. But. Could he keep on seeing her after today? His solitude was so much more important than one or two quick shags per week and he instantly decided that their "meetings" wouldn't continue. He planted a few memories into her mind and after a bit of hesitation he added one of an argument too because he would really rather avoid it. When he was adamant that she would break up with him – if a break-up could be considered since they had no definite form of relationship - he stopped.

"Finite", he whispered hiding his wand and the petrificus ended. She had at once started shouting accusations and then some more, but he had kept his dark altitude and eventually she had left, but her earlier words kept repeating inside his head.

"Who the hell is Granger, Draco? You were calling her name in your sleep."

"Can I help you with that?"

He cursed her to Salazar and back, but to no avail. The witch was stubborn and his memories of her were apparently there to stay.

.

Draco met her again the next week completely out of the blue. He had a slight suspicion that fate or karma, call it whatever you want – what a bitch -, was playing stupid games on his expense and he didn't like it one bit. Fucking pathetic.

"Malfoy", Granger stated and her voice sounded completely plain.

"Granger", he nodded without interrupting his perusal of the shelves.

"Had it not been for the fact that I'm certain that meeting me is killing you, I would ask if you are following me somehow."

"If you did ask I would be forced to reply that this notion is ridiculous"

"And I would say that unfortunately all signs point to that direction. Diagon Alley twice, my bookstore next and now a muggle supermarket..."

"You came to my store too, if my memory serves me well."

"Still, that was an onetime thing while yours-

"Granger, I'm not following you." He hushed her frenzy, sounding almost bored.

"Good. In which case...well...bye"

She made her move to pass by, but his hand was on her arm to stop her before he had a chance to think about it twice. Or thrice; as he usually did with everything.

She turned back again with her eyebrows furrowed and a huge questionnaire written clearly on her face. His hand dropped and she looked him straight into his eyes.

"I was just wondering when it would be convenient for you to deliver the roots"

"Oh." Her face straightened."You can send them by owl; really there's no need to come by in person."

Ouch. His eyes fell to her teeth which were currently chewing he bottom lip. His jaw clenched.

"I didn't intend to come by." His voice sounded somewhat sour and he hurried to make it plain again. "That's not what I said."

She swallowed visibly. "Alright. Just owl them to the bookstore then. I'm certain your owl will find me there."

He nodded and turned to leave.

"Malfoy?" she stopped him this time.

"Yes?"

She seemed to hesitate before speaking and he noticed she was chewing her lip again.

"Do you live nearby?"

He arched his eyebrow. "Is there a point to that question? Why are you asking me that?"

"I.. I was just wondering if I should expect to see you more often around.. This is my usual supermarket, you know" she motioned around; still a bit nervous.

"I see." he nodded.

Fan-fucking-tastic. He'd better change a supermarket.

She still waited, probably expecting an answer or even a reaction to her observation, but he didn't give her any. He strolled down the hall leaving Granger gaping behind him at his obvious rudeness, fairly certain that he would be seeing her in his nightmares again that night.

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a/n: Thanks to all of you who read/ followed/ favorited and reviewed! It means a lot, so thank you! As always, if you notice any glaring mistakes please let me know so I can fix it.. I still have no beta; I find it very difficult to choose, so if you have any suggestions please share :)

Please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts about this chapter as well!

Victoria