Falias, Finias Chapter Four

Suggested Theme:

Main Theme- Loved By the Sun by Tangerine Dream

Kazdan is dressed in what he normally wears whenever he has to babysit. He has on his graphic t-shirt with Joy Division's Closer album cover on it; he wears this shirt just to see if any of the parents recognize the band, but most just say what an interesting piece of art on his shirt. None ever realize the subliminal message he's trying to send to the parents that leave their children behind for non-work related reasons. Be close to your children; in their small worlds, you are all they have! Be their God! He wants to impart to them, but, like most adults, they do not get his message.

He also has on some broken-in jeans and his brown hiking boots. His entire outfit radiates typical teenager to everyone on Earth. Here, in the UnderWorld, he's not so sure. He knows that he's probably just one of those annoying humans who only want scans at the cost of some Creature's time. Or, possibly, their life.

"Not me. I don't want any scans, except maybe for Locations, Ultra Rare Creatures, and Chaor." Kazdan mutters to himself as he's walking to where he's supposed to meet Nivenna. It's early in the morning when the heat is not oppressive, but it still makes Kazdan's shirt stick to him like a second skin.

"What are you muttering about?" Kazdan immediately jumps almost a foot forward and falls flat on his face.

"…..I expected you to be a screamer." Nivenna dryly remarks. Kazdan quickly turns around and shoots her a dirty look. I only scream when I want to. Even when those bullies jumped him, he still refused to scream. He turns his head and glares at her.

"And I expected you not to be a teleporter, Nocturne." He snaps back. Nivenna raises a thin, red eyebrow at him.

"You're early." Is it an UnderWorld custom to be late? Because I did not know that.

"I prefer to be punctual." He manages meekly. Nivenna frowns like she's disappointed. Odd, I thought Creatures prefer submissive humans. He finally gets up.

Nivenna opens her mouth like she's going to say something, but then closes it and begins to walk where they met for the first time. With Kazdan closely following behind her.

Ah, the radioactive puddle of piss is still there! Kazdan notes and is surprised he doesn't see a dead rat floating in it. They reach the lamppost where they first met.

"Wait here." Nivenna orders him and goes on ahead to Chaor's Castle. Kazdan decides to spend his time by analyzing the lamppost.

How did I not notice how crooked this thing is? I guess fear is truly the mind-killer. Anyways, it's not powered by electricity or fire, but by some kind of white stone with black veins. So is the stone alive? Or does it only pulse with life at night? Or is this powered by Mugic of some kind? Or is it possibly a Creature—

"It's just a lamppost." He hears Nivenna plainly say; this time he does not jump, but he still flinches. He turns to see Nivenna with the nameless baby in her arms and a red diaper bag slung over her right shoulder. The nameless baby is squinting his pupil-less blue eyes like the light of the morning is bothering him.

Considering how white this kid is, I have a feeling that the sun is his mortal enemy. And he's dressed in a red onesie with blue buttons, Chaor's colors. Force, is this kid really related to Chaor? Or his property? Wait, is slavery practiced here? Kazdan nearly sighs, knowing that those questions will remain unanswered today. Today, his only duty is to make sure that this nameless, sickly-looking babe makes it through the day.

"I was trying to figure how it functioned." He expects her to sarcastically tell him that the lamppost is there to act as a light at night.

"You see the orb on top of the post? You see the hair thin black lines on the sides of it? Spores from the fairy fire fungi seep into those cracks and grow inside of the orb; the spores themselves are what give off the light at night. Ulmar says that the light really comes from this chemical reaction, but then his science-babble became too thick for me to decipher." Holy shit, I actually got a plausible explanation! Should I thank her? I mean that would seem weird; it's not like I thank my teachers for learning something new every time. But I should say something.

"So was Ulmar the one who had the idea to use the orbs as lampposts?" Nivenna shakes her head.

"No, these lampposts have been around since before Gothos's reign." Gothos? Isn't there some Location named after him? Yes…Gothos Tower where Van Bloot likes to haunt! Or, rather, plot against Chaor.

"…Wow." I really need to learn how to continue a conversation properly. Or end it. Kazdan mentally sighs at his poor social skills.

"Look at the lampposts all you want, but make sure that the kid is back at this spot by nightfall." She hands off the babe first to him; the babe coos happily at him. Then, she hands him the bag, which he nearly drops from surprise. Man, this is heavy! Did she put half the UnderWorld Arsenal in this bag?

"The bag has his diapers, milk, raw ground meat, and some other stuff you might need. He typically eats the meat after he drank his milk. But he was just fed, so he won't be hungry anytime soon. I also added some clean onesies in case he makes a mess and his blanket in case he gets cold." Kazdan has to stop himself from rolling his eyes. How can you get cold in this place? It's literally Hell!

"Anything else? Does he have any allergies? Or places we're not allowed to go to?"

"No, he's about as healthy as he can be. And use your commonsense and you'll figure out where not to go. So have fun babysitting the finger-biter." And like that Nivenna decides to leave them. Kazdan looks down at the baby and brings one of his fingers to the baby's pale lips. The baby bites his finger automatically. It takes him a minute to pull his finger from the baby's mouth; there are a dozen little teeth marks imprinted on his finger. There's a little bit of blood welling from the marks, which the baby sees and reaches out for the bleeding finger.

"I'm really hoping I didn't give you a taste for human flesh."

Since Kazdan knows the city's layout about as well as Chaor, he decides not to stray too far from the lamppost. At most, I'm only going to be ten minutes, which is 600 seconds, from it. There's no way I can get lost in ten minutes as long as I don't go down the alleyways. And Kazdan won't even walk too closely to one considering what happened the last time on Earth, but he imagines it'll be much worse here.

And I can't let the little guy get hurt! Kazdan is certain that Chaor would hung, drawn, and quarter him if the (his) baby gets even a scratch. The baby just stares up at his face with a little pout; he clearly wants to bite Kazdan's finger again.

"I'll let you bite my finger later." He promises. The baby nods, making Kazdan pause mid-step.

"Can you understand me?" I'm on another world and this baby isn't human, so would it be impossible for this baby to be super-intelligent like Ulmar? Is that why he kept this baby? Aside from the possibility that this could be his—

"You have been standing there for like a solid minute, looking at the baby. What, did the baby puke up Dractyl scales?" H'earring's high-pitched voice grates on his ears. He sighs and turns to face the mutant rabbit.

"No, H'earring, and shouldn't you be with your kitchen troll?" He says snippily. H'earring shrugs it off.

"Eh, she can wait. But you, I still owe you a tour!" Kazdan narrows his eyes suspiciously and clutches the baby tighter.

"Why? I gave you your bag of treats and I have nothing else to give you."

"Because I'm a Creature of my word. I promised you a tour of UnderWorld City and you'll get a tour." There's a bit of sweat forming on H'earring acid-green forehead. He's either nervous about something or the heat is getting to him. Kazdan guesses.

"I'd like that, but, as you can see, I have a baby to care for." The baby in question gurgles at him like he's offended at being used as an excuse. So is the baby super-smart, a telepath, or am I taking him too seriously?

"Don't worry, there's plenty of safe places to take a baby too. Like the Crypt of Eternal Echoes. It's literally under us, so you won't be far from your precious lamppost." How long has he been watching me? And why? Kazdan shakes his head at his own paranoia. It's not like H'earring is going to beat him up and throw him into the garbage.

"I thought the sewer was under us."

"It's below that. So you won't smell cooked poo at high noon in the crypt." Kazdan's nose twitches in disgust. Ugh, I don't want to smell raw sewage! The baby's nose twitches like Kazdan's.

"…It's safe?"

"Yes, it's safe. Hardly anyone goes down there!" H'earring gives him a monkey grin. Kazdan can see his fangs.

"…..Okay." Kazdan concedes; the baby then mimics H'earring's grin.

The Crypt of Eternal Echoes takes about twenty minutes to get to and it wasn't through the sewers. It was through a debilitated shack that looks more like a crack den than an actual entrance to a secret Location. After a ten minute flight down some stone stairs, the little gang finally makes it inside the crypt.

"Welcome to the loudest echo chamber in Perim!" H'earring announces and his announcement is echoed a hundred times throughout the loudest echo chamber in Perim. Kazdan and the baby wince at the surprising loudness.

"H'earring, please, just whisper!" Kazdan whispers, which is echoed softly throughout the Location. Wow, that's pretty cool! The baby nods his head in agreement.

"Don't worry, I will; I'm quite sensitive to loud noises." H'earring raises one of his massive, floppy ears. Kazdan gives a light chuckle at his small joke. They continue to walk, and as they walk, Kazdan is fascinated with the material that the Location appeared to be made of.

The walls, ceilings, and floors are made of these yellow, rust-rimmed sheets of metal that have been bolted together to make this Location. None of the sheets were the same size and look more like a patch job.

I bet the metal must have some special sound property that allows the echoing. It also helps that this place is huge and practically empty, so sound waves can be reflected well here! Kazdan theorizes as H'earring leads him into a cavernous room with a large chandelier providing light for the room. The chandelier is mostly comprised of metals, most likely some kind of copper, with little flames flickering at the top. He nearly gulps when he sees that the bottom is made of spearheads.

"Believe me, that chandelier has been up since before I was born." H'earring reassures him.

"So is this the heart of the Location?"

"Well, it's one of the few bright spots, but there are more rooms scattered across this place. Getting to all of them would take a couple of days on foot." Kazdan examines the room and notices it's made of the same material as in the halls. I get this feeling that this metal doesn't exist anymore. They pretty much used all of it here!

"You know you should scan this place; I bet this would help in your matches." H'earring suggests, and Kazdan fumbles in his pockets to pull out his Scanner and scan the Location. The baby coos as he hears the Scanner's unique sounds.

"Well, my first scan in Perim! I hope I get to do this again." And he really means it.

"I gotta another Location in mind for ya and it's more important than this place." Kazdan's mind races with possibilities of where they were going next. Takinom's Twisted Palace? The UnderWorld Arsenal? The UnderWorld Barracks? Maybe a secret room in Chaor's palace? Oh, but I should do one thing before I go.

"Never has anyone seen me,

Never do I appear.

You will never see me,

And yet I am here."

Kazdan whispers and happily listens to his hundreds of echoes. H'earring raises a curious brow at him.

"Where'd you learn that riddle from?"

"In the Palace of Deep Mystery."

The Inferno Inn is the next Location that H'earring takes him too. And by the time that they reach the place, Kazdan is drenched in sweat and the baby is fussing in his arms. What H'earring failed to mention that the Inferno Inn was on the other side of the city, and since the city is almost the size of metropolis, it takes a couple of hours to get there.

For fuck's sakes, someone needs to tell Chaor to order Ulmar to build cars already! Kazdan cussed quite frequently on the trek to the Inferno Inn. Of course, all of it was in his mind, but the baby would always look at him for every profanity that went through his head.

Then again, what else can the baby look at? The city is pretty much just scrap metal and third-world poverty! Fuck, I hope they have some clean water at this place. He is tempted to drink some of the baby's milk from the increasingly heavy bag.

The Inferno Inn is a one-story, cobblestone building with beams of blue-painted wood holding the building and the rusting, metal-shingled roof together. There are two boarded up windows at the front with a scraggly tree scratching the painted wood in front of the right window. There are spikes protruding from underneath the skeleton of the roof and painted wood. There is a sign hanging off of a black-hooked rod that is a painting of a roaring fire with no lettering.

They walk through the green-painted, stone-carved arch and into the Location.

Kazdan's nose is assaulted with the scent of cooked, spiced meats and dead things. He has to stop himself from pinching his sinuses close; he does not want to insult the inn's patrons. And he certainly doesn't want to insult the reptilian, maroon-version of King Kong that is serving out logs of food. Is he the owner or cook? Probably both, I almost want to scan him to find out his name, but I'd rather not risk his wrath.

There are a couple of small, square-planked tables that fit four Creatures and a couple of long tables that fit about six Creatures. There are two candlelit chandeliers and a fireplace to provide a decent amount of light in the room; he can see a devilish-looking Creature warming his hands by the fire.

"Go grab us a table; I'll get the grub!" H'earring is gone before Kazdan has the chance to tell him not to order him anything. Please, let him bring me back a bone with mold-less meat on it. Kazdan pleads to the universe and looks for a table. All of the tables in the immediate vicinity are occupied, so he finds a small table at the very corner of the inn where it is right next to a hole in the wall with a tarp and some boards nailed across it.

Please, don't let some Creature looking to chop up a human come out of the hole! He pleads once more to the universe. As he sits on the stool made of the same wooden planks as the rest of the tables, the baby whimpers. He looks down to see the baby sniffing and drooling from his thin mouth.

"Okay, time to feed you." He balances the baby with one arm and hoist the bag onto the table with the other. He unlatches the bag and rummages for the milk bottle. As he rummages, he finds the source of the heaviness, a small purse filled with coins. Oh, so Nivenna gave me some money to spend. For food? Or bribing us out of trouble? Probably the latter.

"Here's the bottle and the…food." The bottle is not covered in spikes or bones like he thought it would be; instead, it's just a glass bottle with a plastic nipple. And the milk isn't blood or some gelatinous substance; it's just white, liquid milk. The baby suckles happily on his bottle until half of it was gone; he then stopped sucking and pushed the bottle away. He then opens his mouth showing his two rows of sharp, pointy teeth.

"You are so well-trained!" He compliments and then gives the baby the raw meat he craves. The baby delightfully tears and chews the meat like a lion cub. He's sloppy with blood and bits of gristle dribbling down his pale face. Shit, they don't have napkins here. Should I just use my hands or his blanket? Okay, not his blanket. I don't think Chaor would appreciate blood on his actually impressively stitched face. Or maybe he would?

"Good thing I had the foresight to get a bunch of napkins!" H'earring is back with a tray laden with some moldy carcass of some unidentifiable species, a bowl of a meaty stew with a grimy metal spoon, a stack of greasy napkins, and two metal cups of red liquid. Kazdan hopes the liquid is wine, even if he's not into wine. Kazdan takes the bag off the table, letting H'earring set the stew and a cup before him.

"I didn't really know what to order for you, since you're human, so I went with something fairly digestible. Oh, you're going to need to drink the wine; the stew is spicy!" So it'll be like the time I had Tom's spicy Mexican nachos. Kazdan remembers his ten-year-old-self clutching at his throat after one bite of Tom's nachos and guzzling half a gallon of milk. Tom replaced the jalapenos with his dad's ghost peppers. He really hopes that ghost peppers don't exist in Perim.

His first bite of the stew is not like ghost pepper cheesy hell that Tom subjected him to; there is heat, enough to make his nose dribble, but he can eat it. The spiciness came from the broth, which also provided the heat, but the meat actually tasted salty and a bit sweet. This is not what I was expecting; I could actually get used to eating something like this. He then goes to take a sip from the wine and is amazed how creamy it tasted.

"I got us some weak wine because I can't give a tour drunk and you don't seem like a strong drinker." If it means drinking something that tastes like honeyed whip cream, then I'm going to remain weak! Kazdan gives a small chuckle to H'earring's little joke. They resume their meals in silence, but the inn's chatter filled the air. They take twenty minutes to finish their meals, and then Kazdan pulls out the heavy coin purse.

"Your meal is sixteen silvers, and a gold coin to tip the chef." Of course, H'earring wasn't going to offer to pay the meal himself. Good thing Nivenna thought ahead. Kazdan pulls out the coins from the purple, drawstring purse, each bearing the stern face of Chaor on one side and the UnderWorld symbol on the other, and hands it to H'earring. When H'earring comes back, he has his monkey grin plastered on his face, and it finally hits Kazdan why he's so chipper.

"My meal didn't actually cost that much. You used the rest to pay for yours." Kazdan isn't angry by that; in fact, he feels sheepish for not realizing what H'earring had in mind sooner.

"That and good wine isn't cheap! Those babysitting the baby usually get some spare change, courtesy of Lord Chaor." That's why you wanted to resume the tour. You sly, rabbit-eared bastard. And the baby must really be important to Chaor if he's willing to give that much (it was a bag of mostly silvers with a few copper and gold coins) money to me! Kazdan is starting to believe that this baby might be Chaor's.

"I do hope the next stop isn't to some shop, so you can have a shopping spree." I am not wasting Chaor's money on that. Unless they sell maps. Which I hope they do. But H'earring shakes his head.

"Nah, need to work off the grub. And I doubt you know the fine art of haggling." Kazdan nods.

"So where are we going next, H'earring?"

"Church."

Kazdan presumes that the church H'earring will take him to would be the one that he passed on his first day in UnderWorld City, or at least he thought it was a church what with the stained glass window. Churches typically have some kind of stained glass. Or at least the Catholic ones do. Tom's church had some stained glass to make up for the boring sermon. Kazdan went to church with Tom once because he was curious about how churches work, but he remembers being bored the entire time and just looking at the windows.

But when they pass the church, he realized that there probably is more than one church in this big city. He hopes that the church, which seems to require a lot of sketchy back alleys to reach, will be nice. And I hope they don't believe in human sacrifice!

After a while, he begins to fantasize about the church they're going to. Maybe it'll be gorgeous like those vacation commercials where these people go down these sketchy paths to reach a visual paradise. There's got to be at least another beautiful building in this place other than Tartarus Theater.

His fantasy meets reality.

"This was built before Chaor even had a name." H'earring espouses like a tour guide. Kazdan nearly gapes at the church. The church is a squat, brownstone building that has a gigantic hole in its dark roof. There is no stained glass art, but there were statues. The statues were gargoyles, hideous beasts that protected churches on Earth, but he doesn't know if gargoyles hold the same meaning here.

None of them look like Chaor or Goliath. Hell, some look like imps on acid. None of them are beautiful like dad's statues, but I can see them being scary at night. He winces when he sees one badly sculpted statue that looks more like a wet cat turned into a Frankenstein monster.

"So does this Location have a special effect?" Maybe you can control the gargoyles if you solve a puzzle, or maybe this only allows UnderWorld mugic here.

"Nope!" H'earring answers happily. Kazdan glares at him, but the mutant rabbit brushes it off with a shrug.

"Then the point of showing me this place is?" Certainly not for aesthetics. He grouses at the ugly statues.

"Well, it's a good place to stash your stuff." Kazdan scoffs at that. I guess this is his extra storage unit for his gross ass treats! The baby shakes his head.

"And it has the right earth to grow my favorite kind of fungi!" H'earring licks his green lips, and Kazdan gags. H'earring walks towards the hole, for there was not even a tarp to protect the insides of the moldering chapel, and gestures for Kazdan to follow.

Should I really go? For all I know, the spores of his disgusting fungi could be like the Medusoid Mycelium and clog up the baby's throat. Then again, why would H'earring bring us here if the fungi was hazardous? And then it dawns on him.

"You just wanted someone to help carry your fungi back to your place, am I right?" H'earring grins, and Kazdan sighs. So much for honoring your deals…but he did treated me to a good lunch, which Chaor paid for, and showed me a cool Location. I guess I could do this for him; maybe, he'll give me a discount.

"Fine." H'earring's grin widens and he gestures for Kazdan to follow him, and he does. The church isn't beautiful on the inside, but it is far more interesting looking. There are four rows of stone benches about the length of his height if you add about five inches. Sadly, even the stone benches are thicker than him.

"I'm surprised no one stole the pews." Pretty certain that the stone would fetch a pretty price. At least on Earth. He wonders if the UnderWorlders prize metal over stone, but he doubts that considering how stone is a poor conductor of heat and won't melt like metal.

"Well, this is considered a sacred place to the locals. And it would be pretty hard to remain undetected while dragging those benches around." Sacred? So what kind of religion do they have here? Is Chaor divine? No, I think his card would've hinted at that. Maybe they worship a war god or a fire spirit, or maybe they have their own pantheon? For once, Kazdan actually wants to learn more about religion beyond superficial curiosity.

"So is your fungi sacred too?" Only to him, I would imagine. H'earring gives a small laugh at Kazdan's dry delivery. The baby just stares ahead at a black and red door that is in better condition than the entire church. There is a slight crack in the middle of the door; he wonders if he could see anything through that crack.

"Yup, and it even has its own shrine." H'earring heads over to the black and red door. Kazdan follows and watches H'earring yank the circular handle open. Since there is no glowing stone or candles, Kazdan has to rely on the natural light of the UnderWorld to see the fungi and even then he has to be at the door to actually see it. The fungi looks more like a wilting tulip with purple polka dots than any mushroom that Kazdan has seen. He's surprised it doesn't smell, but it is excreting green slime that looks like hot snot. He can count about forty of these slime-dripping fungi.

"Wait, is that a hole? Why is there a hole?" Kazdan notices a H'earring-sized hole only a foot into the fungi-shrine room.

"You see I was trying to make a tunnel from here to my house for easier access, but eventually I ran into hard stone that I couldn't claw or bite through, so I just gave up. I was able to tunnel my way to Tartarus Theater." Kazdan imagines H'earring as Bugs Bunny and just tunneling his way to wrong parts of the city. He nearly laughs out loud at that thought.

H'earring's raises his right ear like a bat stretching his wing; his face goes from goofy to solemn.

"What is it?" Kazdan whispers softly. Oh shit, some gang of Creatures robbed a bank and are coming here to hideout! Do Creatures even have banks? They have money, or at least the UnderWorld does. Focus! The baby scrunches up his face like he's confused.

"We need to hide!" H'earring quickly ushers them into the small shrine and quickly shuts the door. The crack in the door is right below Kazdan's eyes, so he crouches a bit and peers through the crack. He sees green-skinned Creatures with skulls masks coming into the church with crates of Pyroblasters. Kazdan sees the UnderWorld symbol stamped against them; he has a feeling those belonged to Chaor.

The thieves grunt as they carried in the weapons and bone-white spears with stone tips. H'earring yanks on his pants leg and gestures at the hole. Shit, I won't fit in there and neither will H'earring if he takes the baby with him! But I have my Scanner! Shit, I can't leave the baby behind! What do I do!?

"Stay. Quiet. I'll get help." H'earring whispers so softly that Kazdan can only hear him thanks to the lack of sound in the room. Even the baby is refusing to make a sound. Kazdan nods, and H'earring leaves through the hole.

Please, let H'earring get back soon! He pleads with the universe. He does not move himself away from the door because he wants to keep his eyes on the thieves. He's trying to remain calm, so the baby won't sense his distress and fuss, but he can't keep his heart from beating loud enough in his ears to believe that he would get caught at any moment.

9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14…21, 22, 23! Kazdan counts the number of thieves in the church and his hopes for rescue die a little with each count. The baby remains silent.

For what feels like a year, Kazdan watches the thieves in hopes that H'earring returns with a squadron of UnderWorld guards. Miraculously, the baby only wriggles in his hold because he tightens it when one of the thieves gets a foot too close to the door.

"What's that—" A thief begins when he hears the revving of an engine, and Kazdan's heart leaps into his throat. Chaor, the UnderWorld Conqueror Warrior, stalks right into the church with a large, double-sided axe. He's scowling at the thieves, who then scramble for the Pyroblasters, but Chaor is far quicker. He plants his axe right through the neck of a thief that spoke just a moment ago; the thief's head is not completely severed from his shoulder, but hanging to the side with bits of sinew keeping it from falling to the floor. The near-stump of the neck begins to bleed thick, red blood.

Kazdan feels all the color drain from his face and becomes overwhelmingly dizzy. He backs away from the door, walks on the slimy fungi, and leans against the back wall. He passes out clutching the baby to his chest.

When Kazdan comes to, he's on top of a stone bench and H'earring is by his side. He groggily sits up and notices the generous amount of slime coating his boots and gags when sees some red on the slime.

"I'm surprised you didn't puke before passing out. You're a little tougher than I thought." H'earring calmly states. He sounds like someone trying to tame a wild animal.

"Did…Is the baby okay?" I fucking fainted and for all I know I could've accidently suffocated the baby! Kazdan wretches violently at the thought of killing the baby.

"Yeah, Chaor took him back to the palace. He practically had to pry the pale babe from your arms!" Kazdan flushes a bright red. Chaor touched me? Chaor the Ruler of the UnderWorld touched ME!? Er, he had to get his baby from danger!

"…Okay." Kazdan meekly manages. H'earring quirks a bushy, red eyebrow.

"Are you sick? Because if you are, then please do it outside. I can't stand people puking." H'earring's face turns a lighter shade of green like he'll puke if Kazdan pukes.

"No….I'm okay. It's just…a lot to take in. And where are the…" Kazdan trails off because he did not want to say corpses. Holy fuck, I've never seen a dead Creature before! Oh, but I don't want to, not after barely-any-meat-left-to-his-neck-guy! Kazdan goes pale at the memory, but manages not to faint again.

"Oh, the guards came after Chaor…took care of the rebels and took the bodies to be incinerated and then came back for the stolen weapons." Kazdan looks around and notices the pools of dried blood caking the stone floor. Clearly, the guards aren't paid enough to clean up this mess!

"Well….at least that's over." I'm pretty certain I owe Nivenna nothing anymore. Kazdan cannot even bring himself to smile at being out of her debt; he really wants to port back to Earth and possibly puke in his toilet.

"Yeah, and congratulations." Kazdan tenses.

"Why? I'm pretty certain fainting doesn't warrant a congratulations."

"Chaor was…..impressed with how you cared for the baby, so you get to be the kid's official caretaker." It takes a full minute for Kazdan to process H'earring's words. I get to be his bastard's nanny? But I'm a human! And I want to explore the rest of Perim!

"But I'm human!"

"Chaor knows that, but he's decided that you'll take care of the baby from now on. Well at least, from the morning to the night. Six days out of the week. Plus, you get paid!" H'earring sounds excited at the last bit like earning money is the best thing in the world. It might be for him since he lives in Sweeney Todd's London!

"…What happens if I refuse?" H'earring's eyes widen like he's shock by Kazdan's suggested resistance.

"Chaor'll remember that and you won't be welcome in the UnderWorld." Kazdan can tell that H'earring left out, "He'll also rip your head off with his bare hands and put it on a pike!" He sighs.

"When do I begin?"

"Tomorrow morning. Just come by at the back gate and the guards should let you in."

"…Anything else?"

"Yeah, you stepped all over my fungi." H'earring does not glare at him, but he does frown at him.

"…I'll treat you to lunch when I get paid." H'earring grins again, and Kazdan feels like he got scammed.

At least, I got to meet Chaor today!

Author's Comments- You know if Chaotic wasn't a cartoon aimed at kids, then it would logically be pretty violent. Because let's face it, do you honestly think that Chaor hasn't brutally killed rebels before? He literally rules the UnderWorld with an iron fist; leaders like that are characterized as being very violent individuals. Also, I'd imagine, because of Chaor's temper and low-tolerance for rebel bullshit, Chaor tends to kill someone at least once a week.

The fear is truly the mind-killer is an allusion to this: "Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past me I will turn to see fear's path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." Quote by Paul Atreides from Frank Herbert's Dune.

Also, that lamppost scene was inspired by season one's episode eleven's "Lord of Treachery." The inspiration came from me really paying attention to the background details as H'earring was taking Kaz to meet Chaor the first time. The lamppost in that scene just add to the otherworldliness of Perim because the people working on the show clearly wanted to build the world. They even added rats scurrying about in that scene!

Crypt of Eternal Echoes is first shown in season two's episode five's "Rockwave and Roll." Kaz is the one who groans and explains to Tom the problem with the Location; I figured that H'earring probably showed him that Location at some point in the past. So I decided to use that Location, but I did make up where it's located because the show and the card do not tell me its exact location in UnderWorld City.

The Inferno Inn is first shown in season two's episode four's "Colosseum Showdown." From what I gleamed from the episode, it was Kaz's first time being at the Location, so I figured that H'earring didn't show Kaz the place on their (possible) original tour before the show started. Since my story is already going down the alternative universe hole, I decided to include this place in this chapter; you know to flesh it out a bit. I almost added a scene of Hammerdoom Chantcaller as an allusion to the episode, but I cut it out because I found it too coincidental. But don't worry, he'll appear. Eventually. I also used the Creature that told Rothar and Hammerdoom to take their fight to the UnderWorld Colosseum as the owner of the inn. I searched through the wiki and I could not found his name or if he actually owned the place, so I just went with it. I might give him a name. Eventually.

The final Location of Kazdan's tour of the UnderWorld is something I made up because I ran out of Locations for H'earring to take Kazdan to that was within the city limits. We didn't really see many places in UnderWorld City, so I had to make up some places.

This chapter is far longer than I intended, but it's for world building. And I have further strayed from the canon path with making Kazdan a nanny to Chaor's may or may not be son. However, I feel like Chaor did see potential in Kaz like even when they first met; sure, he used Kaz as a misinformed agent, but he did grin when Kaz left. And they kind of became friendlier over the course of the series. It probably helps that Kazdan didn't spend his entire coin purse.

So, since Kazdan is now going to be nanny, next few chapters will be more UnderWorld world building with some Creature characterization thrown into the mix. I cannot wait to get to the chapter where Kitchen Troll Mistress teaches Kazdan how to haggle at the market!

And thanks to those who have endured this long ass wait for another update; I hope to update much sooner!