Chronicles 6: Emergency Preparedness

December 23rd, Crown City of Insomnia, Meteor Publishing…

Prompto, arriving at the Insomnia branch of Meteor Publishing, looked quite proud of himself. He worked part-time as a photojournalist for the company, delivering pictures of the royal family and the efforts of the crown to rebuild the world. The blonde was particularly proud of his newest batch of photos, that of Lunafreya and the glow she was showing during her pregnancy.

It was a hot topic around Lucis, with people placing bets on the babies' sexes, the weight, the height of each one, and the due date. She didn't tell anyone how many she was having, instead just opted to tell the media she was having multiples. Meteor Publishing ate it up, with experts weighing in on pregnancies such as hers.

So, when he arrived with new photos, the business-casual dressed manager of the branch, Oerba Yun Fang, saw them and said, "Huh. She's not showing yet."

"What? You don't see it?" Prompto asked.

"See what? It just looks like she's gained a little weight, that's all," Fang told him.

Prompto continued to make his case, not seeing someone outside setting up a horrible, horrible idea.

With employee Baku Tantalus…

The hefty editor, Baku, looked around the rather quiet floor, seeing his coworkers work on stories submitted by various journalists and citizenry that offered feature pieces. He was disappointed as he had given a fire safety talk, using something called Powerpoint. It didn't work and most of the editors, including Fang, fell asleep. He didn't want a repeat of what happened twelve years ago when the Niffs attacked and he vowed to get his coworkers to take their safety seriously.

So, the Mi'qote-looking man went around, locking doors and sealing some of the exit points. Due to them still working on the camera system, he knew that certain areas, such as storage rooms, had spotty surveillance at best. So, he placed some paper, lighter fluid, and a match in one storage rooms' garbage can, and then another in the break room. The last place he put his "simulation" was in the mailroom, vowing that his smoking was "going to save lives".

He returned to his desk, seeing the rising smoke coming from the rooms. Clearing his throat, he said, "Um, does anyone smell anything smoky?"

"Did you bring your Wennoth Salmon again?" one asked.

"No, Y'shtola. Anyone?" Baku said.

The editors sniffed the air and one finally spotted the smoke. They jumped up, yelling, "Oh gods! Oh no. Um…!"

Another screamed, "FIRE!"

"Oh no! A fire! What do we do?" Baku said.

One checked the phone lines and said, "The phones are dead!"

"Yeah, I can't use my phone!" another screamed.

Baku, very calm, said, "Oh no. How did that happen?

The editors began panicking, just as Fang and Prompto left the office, wondering about the commotion. Fang's eyes widened and she screamed, "Oh gods! Oh, gods! It's happening again!"

"What do we do Fang?" a fourth asked.

Fang rushed to the door, screaming, "Stay calm!"

"But…!" a fifth shouted.

Fang screamed curses, trying to tell everyone to calm down. Prompto stared, noting that she was the least calm in that situation. Only one was relatively calm, trying to get his coworkers to follow the fire safety procedures. Fang rushed for the door and her coworker, Baku, said, "FANG, NO! Touch the handle. If it's hot, that means there's a fire in the hallway."

"Um…what does lukewarm mean?" she asked.

Baku told them it wasn't a viable option and another rushed to the second door. Prompto stayed in a corner, knowing that everything was about to descend into chaos. Just as he thought, it did as the handle on the other door was warm too. Fang then screamed, "That's it! Everyone for themselves!"

Prompto watched in horror as the newsroom fell into chaos, with editors attempting to jump into air vents, trying to ram open doors with copy machines, and even broke windows, screaming outside for help. Baku calmly tried to tell everyone the procedures, which Prompto suspected he was responsible.

Dodging someone running towards the vending machine room, Prompto saw the one thing everyone didn't do: pull the fire alarm. He dodged another that tried throwing her cat into the air ducts, only for it to come crashing down seconds later. Jumping over a desk and over someone trying to grab their purse, Prompto finally arrived at the fire alarm.

He pulled it and no one noticed. Baku then told those that were still trying to find a way out to "use the surge of fear and adrenaline to sharpen decision-making". Like that ever worked, the blonde thought.

Loud popping, like fireworks, caused even more chaos. Someone then screamed, "THE FIRE IS SHOOTING AT US!"

More chaos ensued and Prompto thought the sight was so sad. He grabbed the fire extinguisher, went to the mailroom, and found the source. It was a lit trash can. He blasted a spray of foam from the extinguisher and heard a bullhorn blaring.

Baku, standing on a chair, yelled, "Attention, employees of Meteor Publishing! This was a test of our emergency preparedness! This was just a simulation!"

"WHAT?" Fang shouted.

"Uh, the fire wasn't real. It was only a simulation," Baku told everyone.

Prompto finished dousing the fire and saw everyone in the room looking ready to kill him, save for one that looked like they were having a panic attack. Baku then said, "Okay. So, what have we learned?"

The Mi'qote having a panic attack passed out and Fang rushed to her, yelling, "No, no, no, no, no! Y'shtola! You will not die! Y'shtola! Uh, Noctis is King! He's the King of Lucis, now! HE'S MI'QOTE-LIKE, Y'SHTOLA! HE CAN PRACTICALLY PASS FOR ONE! SO, WAKE UP AND DON'T DIE!"

"What are you doing? Someone get Y'shtola's inhaler!" someone yelled.

Prompto sighed, thinking that Noct was right. Everyone seemed to be kinda…wimpy since the Starscourge was cured.

"Well, more stories for me," Prompto said as he saw someone give the fallen Mi'qote her inhaler…and restraining Fang from killing Baku for nearly killing everyone.

The Citadel…

"Wait, all that happened when you tried to give those photos?" Noctis asked.

The King of Lucis sat on the stairs, leading to the throne, listening to his longtime buddy talk of the horrors of what happened that day. Baku was nearly strangled to death by Fang due to his nearly killing everyone with that failed fire drill. Prompto couldn't turn in the pictures and the original deadline for turning them in passed. But, he was given a second chance and Prompto told him about getting Luna's picture for the papers when she was actually showing.

"Well, she kinda is," Noct said, noticing her rounding belly.

"Fang said she wanted it to be noticeable and told me she practically looks the same," Prompto told him.

Noct sighed and said, "So what? Another photoshoot? I don't think Luna'll like it."

"Then ask her, dude! I still got a job outside of the Kingsglaive and I need to do it," Prompto said.

Noct relented, vowing to ask his wife. But, he still had his doubts she would be willing to do another.

And that's what happens when fire safety talks aren't heeded…according to Baku. And for The Office fans, Baku is definitely based on Dwight.

-miano53