Eᴘɪsᴏᴅᴇ: Pɪʟᴏᴛ
Over the next few weeks, I felt myself rapidly spiralling as my past experiences took on new meaning and I began to understand that I had been blind to more warning signs than I could ever imagine. Cian had easily fooled me with his charming comments and pretend sob story, and I felt furious at myself for being such an easy target. Anger grew within me and I struggled to decide whether any of the stories that I'd been told were true. It was still impossible to know whether the delivery service had actually been for those in need, or if it truly was simply a drug ring as Kane had called it.
Only adding to my stress was a change to my routine that threatened to push me over the edge. Everyday we were taken to a classroom, where a teacher presented us with Earth skills and as we were split into small groups, I didn't get a chance to see Murphy. There was no explanation for why this had been suddenly introduced into our prison lifestyle, but I was glad of the reprieve from the tactics of the guards and Monty's subtle smile calmed my nerves each session, even if he did continue to behave as if he didn't know me.
Sitting at my usual bench in the canteen, my mind raced as I strained to make sense of it all and my sketching hand worked furiously whilst I flicked through my memories. I wasn't even sure what I was drawing, as the thoughts bounced around in my head and I felt lost amongst the chaos. Raised voices caught my attention and I glanced up to find Murphy and a few others intimidating a small inmate.
I sighed in disappointment, but it wasn't the first time that I'd seen him causing trouble within lockup. As a matter of fact, it seemed to be his favourite pastime and though I didn't approve of the behaviour, I'd come to simply accept that it was a part of him. I knew that it wasn't something that I had the power to change anyway and acknowledged that there were likely things that he disliked about me too, namely how little I spoke. I'd always had a thing for the troubled, charming type, but Murphy was trouble with a capital T.
As the smaller kid scarpered off, Murphy seemed to notice me staring and sauntered over with a smug smile on his lips. Fortunately, his backup broke off to bother someone else and I was relieved that we had privacy so that I could speak honestly.
"You know, if I didn't know better I'd think you were totally checking me out, Sunshine." He remarked as he slid into a seat opposite me and I held eye contact with him firmly, determined not to be distracted by his flattery.
"Why do you act like that?" I asked directly, surprising even myself with the determination in my voice and he raised his brows, clearly taken aback by my question. It hadn't been my intention to challenge him, but after discovering that Cian was a liar, I found it much harder to ignore red flags in Murphy.
"Like what? Like I'm into you?" He suggested, winking at me playfully and I sighed to demonstrate my disapproval at his tactics. I knew that he was being avoidant and it was clear that he didn't appreciate me confronting him for his actions, but now that I'd started being honest, I couldn't stop myself.
"Like an ass." I blurted as I glanced back in the direction of the kid that he'd been bullying and his eyes widened at my comment. Once I returned my gaze to him, I started to feel uncomfortable with how aggressive my words had come across and I cleared my throat before speaking again. "Why can't you just be how you are with me?" I offered in a gentler manner and he scoffed in disbelief.
"Well, not everyone is as resistant to my charms as you are, Cassie. If I was like this with everyone, I'd be batting the girls off and then I wouldn't have time to hang out with you. Wouldn't that be a shame?" He drawled with a sly smile and I rolled my eyes at him in annoyance. "Besides, maybe that's who I really am. I'm an ass." He added, leaning back in his seat with his arms crossed in a closed off posture and I tilted my head at him.
"No, you're not." I argued quietly and despite my confusion over the trustworthiness of everyone around me, I was surprised by the confidence that I felt in this statement.
As if in distinct offence to my assertion, he reached out one of his hands to knock my sketchbook to the ground flippantly and raised a brow at me. A few seconds of silence passed where neither of us moved a muscle, instead simply staring at each other intensely and I could tell that he was silently asking with his expression whether my opinion had changed now. Eventually, a slight smile broke into my face and he quickly smiled in return, a cheeky glimmer in his eyes. I leaned down to grab the book and he rushed to reach it at the same time, bringing his face alarmingly close to mine.
"Oops. Sorry about that." He muttered sarcastically as he inched slightly closer to my lips and I shot back to my seat, clutching the sketchbook to my chest.
"Stop it, Trouble." I hissed, a chuckle escaping me as I spoke and I noticed that he seemed thoroughly proud of his efforts, despite his failure to reach my lips.
"You're very vocal today." He remarked with a hint of excitement in his voice and I shrugged back casually. Since the first time that he'd approached, there was something about him that I couldn't place that made me want to get to know him and as my patience with the mess that I was in waited, I was unable to resist the desire to speak to him any longer. Though I was nowhere near ready to admit that and wracked my brain for another explanation that I could offer him.
"Yeah, well. I'm working on being more vocal nowadays." I revealed, dropping my voice to a volume that only he could hear and he seemed thoroughly enthralled by this information. He leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table and surveyed me as if I were the most fascinating thing that he'd ever witnessed, causing me to blush heavily.
"Really?" He breathed in a dramatic fashion and I chuckled under my breath at his theatrics. "And is there something that you're getting ready to say?" He interrogated, fixing me with a knowing look and I easily understood what he was implying. It seemed somewhat bizarre that he was so keen to encourage me to sell out my colleagues without even knowing the details, but I trusted his blind insight better than I could my own judgement and it gave me the final push that I needed to make the decision.
"Tomorrow." I whispered conspiratorially, leaning closer to him and his eyes widened in disbelief.
"Tomorrow." He repeated, as if to ensure that were definitely discussing the same thing and I nodded back fervently. "Well, that's the big day, then. Just remember what I told you, drive a hard bargain. These guards will run you into the ground if you let them, but if you have something that they want, then you have power. Squeeze as much as you can out of them." He advised, a devious look in his eyes at even the thought of extorting our jailers and I sniggered at his enthusiasm. "It'll be dull in here without you, cupcake. I'll have to make sure to visit when I get out. What station can I find you on?" He enquired and I found myself smiling warmly at this idea.
"Agro, sector 3-V." I answered coyly and he tilted his head at me.
"Never guessed you for a farm girl. Guess that explains the hair though." He teased and I shook my head at him. "Well, at least now I know you're not from one of those fancy sectors. We're both in the slums." He announced and as I opened my mouth to ask where he was from, the bell rang to declare the end of our free time. "Well, I guess this is it. Stick it to them good tomorrow." He advised as he got to his feet and just as he turned his back on me, he paused to glance over his shoulder. "Try not to miss me too much." He winked and I felt a pang of regret as he strode away.
Snatching up my sketchbook to leave the canteen, I was met with a drawing that seemed to be stuck in my muscle memory of a pair of familiar eyes with a single curl between them and my stomach lurched. Without a moment of hesitation, I pulled the sheet from the book and tore it in half, scrunching it into a ball that I threw into the nearest bin. Enough was enough. It was time to face the music.
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In an effort to prepare myself to finally tell my story, I spent the evening disposing of every piece of art that related to Cian. It felt cleansing to destroy them, as if removing them from my sight was clearing away the feelings themselves and I finally began to accept that protecting them was not my burden to carry. Excitement bubbled in my stomach at the idea of seeing my father again and I smiled at the thought that by this time tomorrow, I could be home with him.
Though I was nervous at the idea of negotiating with Kane, I knew that telling the truth would be a weight off my shoulders and could already feel some of the pressure lifting from simply making the decision. For the first time in weeks, I made the effort to tame my hair and attempted to neaten up my well worn clothes. I felt as if I were preparing to stand trial and I supposed that in some respects I was. It was impossible to know how I would fare in the court of public opinion for turning Cian in, especially knowing that he was above the age of imprisonment now, but I knew that however people treated me afterwards couldn't be any worse than the gruelling punishments that I'd already endured so far. The night seemed to drag by and I couldn't sleep, though for once it wasn't due to the tactics of the guards.
The sound of doors unlocking one after another and raised voices echoed from the halls, and I crept closer to press my ear to the door. There was a clear panic in the air outside and what seemed to be a large guard presence, even for lockup. I felt anxiety rising in my chest as I wondered what could possibly cause such a reaction and could hear the commotion growing closer. I took a few steps back from the door just seconds before it swung open and two guards entered my cell.
"Prisoner 387. Face the wall." One of them ordered in a bored tone and though my heart hammered in a manner that was almost defeating, I immediately complied. I slowly raised my hands up in cooperation and turned toward the wall with a lump in my throat. "Hold out your right arm." They instructed and I glanced over my shoulder to find them unlocking a box with a selection of bright silver wristbands inside. Though I couldn't help peeking up at them in confusion, the crackle of a baton quickly frightened me back into place and I held out my arm silently.
The device clicked into place loudly and as it did, something pierced my skin, causing me to yelp in panic. The guards seemed thoroughly pleased with the opportunity to injure me and I kept my mouth tightly clamped closed in an effort not to further antagonise them. Without a word of explanation, they grabbed my arm and led me out into the hall, where I could see that every cell door was open. My initial theory that I was being summoned for a well timed interview crumbled into irrelevance and I darted my gaze around the numerous prisoners that were being beaten into submission. I glanced back at the guard who had taken me from my cell questioningly, but he simply forcefully pushed me forward. My mind raced as I tried to think of a way to earn the chance for a confession, but I knew that asking the wrong guard could easily result in a lashing that I didn't want.
I'd never seen as many guards as flooded the prison station now and though I noticed a few people on other floors attempting to escape, I couldn't see the point in making any drastic moves. Even without the heavily increased force, there was nowhere to run to and instead I followed the prisoners ahead of me, feeling horribly trapped by the number of uniforms surrounding us. I couldn't see Murphy anywhere, nor Jasper and Monty, and a sense of dread began to wash over me. I couldn't conceive of any positive reason that they would empty the entirety of lockup and I felt nauseous as I marched along in petrified silence.
Once we exited the main cell structure of the prison station and navigated through narrow hallways, the guards began to thin out somewhat. We were herded into a single file line and I noticed that I was the last amongst the remarkably calm prisoners who seemed to have succumbed to whatever fate awaited them. My legs trembled as I walked, fearful that my opportunity to bargain may already have passed and I cursed myself for taking so long to make a decision. As we turned a corner into a long hallway with a ladder at the end, I noticed Abby standing at the side of the line of delinquents, scanning their faces as if searching for someone and the moment that her eyes landed on me, her face crumbled with relief. She rushed over to pull me into a tight embrace and I clung to her as if she were my only steadying point. When she stepped back, she kept her hands on my shoulders, as if preventing anyone from moving me as the others ahead of me continued on their voyage and I held onto her in return. I could tell from the red of her eyes that she'd been crying and this only struck a further terror into me.
"Abby, I need to speak to Kane. It's urgent." I hissed, rushing my words out with a sense that I didn't have much time and she tilted her head with obvious confusion. "I'll tell him everything, but I want a deal. I need to get out of here. You're right, I don't deserve to be here. Please, help me." I blurted, my hands shaking on her and her eyes filled with tears as she viewed me with sympathy.
"Cassidy, I'm sorry but it's too late for that. Kane isn't going to be making deals right now. I'm afraid he's got larger concerns than drug deals. He won't be interested in your case any more." She explained in a hushed voice and I felt my breath hitch in my throat as I stared at her with wide eyes. "You waited too long, sweetheart. I wish you'd just told me earlier." She added as a single tear escaped her composure and slid down her cheek.
"But...they tortured me! They were desperate for this information. How can they just not care anymore?" I interrogated, desperate for a way to return home and she sighed deeply, leading me slightly to the side to speak in a hushed voice.
"There are problems on the Ark, bigger than you can even imagine. What they're doing with you all today is your best chance." She whispered critically and I furrowed my brows at her in confusion. "They're sending you to Earth. They think it might be survivable now and they need people to find out. That's what the wristbands are for. We'll be watching you through them." She explained and my mouth dropped open in shock.
"Earth?! But...I can't go to Earth. My old man needs me." I argued, hardly able to get the words out as I stared down at the wristband and felt as if my head might explode from the enormity of this information.
"I promise you, I will do everything in my power to keep your father safe, but I cannot get you out of this. It's a direct order from the Chancellor. I'm powerless against it. They're even sending Clarke." She trailed off, almost breaking into tears as she spoke and I shook my head in frustration.
"What?! But she's eighteen in a month! She's so close to review." I gasped and she nodded back solemnly. "This is monstrous. I can't go. I just want to go home. I'm innocent." I added in a small voice, feeling my eyes fill with tears as I bit my lip to contain them and she pulled me into a comforting hug. Footsteps announced the arrival of the next floor of prisoners as they began to filter into the space and I shook with terror. "I'll look out for Clarke as much as I can. Just please...tell my Papi that I love him and...that I'm sorry. I should've chosen him." I whispered, my voice trembling from the intense sorrow that I felt and as I leaned away from her, I noticed that fresh tears were flooding down her cheeks.
"Thank you. I will take care of him. You have my word." She confirmed and as I opened my mouth to speak again, I was forcibly pulled away from her. I glanced up at my captor to find a young guard who seemed full of enthusiasm for the task before him, staring intensely at the ladder as he marched me forward. An intense feeling of panic washed over me as I glanced back at Abby and I knew that this was my final chance to do the right thing.
"It was Cian!" I called back and watched all of the colour drain from Abby's face as she registered my words. "I'm sorry! I should have told you. All the interns know. I thought I was helping people!" I cried manically, dragging my feet to try to slow down the movement but he was too strong. As we came to a stop at the ladder, he indicated for me to climb and I stared back at him in desperation. "I can't go. My old man needs me. Please!" I begged and he leaned closer to me with a sadistic smile, as the tell-tale sound of the shock baton crackled at his side.
"Just give me a reason." He threatened under his breath, glowering at me with a sick enjoyment and I gulped with terror. He twitched as if about to strike and I whimpered in defeat. Tears freely ran down my cheeks and I finally turned to step down onto the ladder with a feeling of pure dread. I could barely grip the bars from the clamminess of my hands and it took some substantial strain to drag my skinny figure up into the small structure above.
Behind me, more inmates were being forced to follow and as I emerged into a claustrophobic round chamber, I found several guards dragging those of us who were already inside into a variety of seats, or positions against the walls. The others were strapping themselves into harnesses with apprehensive expressions, but none of them asked any questions and in no time, the guard who had intimidated me up the ladder climbed into the room. He took my arm to lead me further into the space, past all of the nervous faces and positioned me at a harness without a seat. Without another word, he left me in the chaotic situation and I felt my hands trembling as I began to fasten up the bucked for what I knew would be a dramatic experience.
"Well, fancy seeing a babe like you here." A familiar voice drawled and I whipped my attention upwards to find Murphy settling into place opposite me with a wry smile. The moment that I laid eyes on him, I felt some of my stress melt away and I was remarkably glad to find that he was in as much danger as I was.
"Murphy!" I breathed in relief and his wonky smile grew into a wide grin at the sound of my voice, causing butterflies in my stomach.
"So much for your big day. Decided not to turn them in after all?" He asked, sliding his arms through the harness whilst keeping his eyes trained on me and I felt my expression drop slightly as the reality of our situation hit me again.
"I tried. It was too late." I grumbled quietly, feeling tears forming in my eyes again and I sniffed in an effort to contain them.
"Bummer." He commented in a flat tone and I peeked up at him in surprise at how unsympathetic he sounded. Though he'd always been quite open about his lack of attachment, it was still strange to hear him reply to this grave situation in such a blasé manner. "Well, nobody likes a snitch. Looks like you're stuck with me." He added, winking at me playfully and despite knowing that I should be frustrated at how he was brushing things off, I was actually glad of his light-heartedness to break the tension that hung in the air.
As the last of the prisoners filled seats and strapped themselves into place, the doors sealed closed loudly behind the guards and I gulped down my terror. People finally began staring at each other in confusion and as the silence gradually became too suffocating to endure, pockets of murmured conversation spread around the room.
Without warning, the powerful sounds of the ship releasing itself from the Ark overwhelmed everything else and my stomach churned as we felt the thrusters engage, carrying us away from our home. Murphy cheered at this development, earning a few nervous chuckles in response and after a few moments, we were all shaken in our harnesses, causing panicked shouts.
The lights flickered and there was an explosive sound that caused my heart to skip a beat as I clung to the flimsy straps that were the only thing keeping me from immediate death. Before anyone could calm the surrounding kids, a sharp ring of audio feedback deafened us all and multiple screens that I hadn't noticed until now lit up with the face of our Chancellor. I rolled my eyes, already anticipating a speech that would only serve to irritate me.
"Prisoners of the Ark, hear me now." He announced and I turned away from the screen to find Murphy watching it with an expression of pure rage. "You've been given a second chance, and as your Chancellor, it is my hope that you see this as not just a chance for you, but a chance for all of us." He announced diplomatically to a series of boos and Murphy cursed under his breath.
Whilst the Chancellor continued to address us as if we were his blessed delegates, I tuned out his dull voice and found that my anxiety was whirring manically in my mind. Glancing around the ship, I realised that I couldn't see Jasper or Monty anywhere, nor Clarke, despite her mother's insistence that she would be included in this death sentence. I hoped that they were all managing this insane discovery better than I was, as I pictured my father's reaction once he found out that I was never coming home.
Holding up the wristband to examine it, I remembered Abby's words that they would be able to monitor us and was glad that she would be able to relay to my father that I was at least alive. Only one question remained, how would I know that he was alright? I could hardly stand the idea that I would no longer receive his letters and promised myself that I would do everything I could to survive this: if not for myself, then for him. For now though, there were many obstacles yet to face before I could worry about long term survival.
Several people were now floating around in the chamber, much to the encouragement of the surrounding teenagers and Murphy smirked as he fiddled with his own buckles. I caught his eyes and shook my head vigorously, desperate to keep him from this unnecessary risk. Though he was visibly pleased by my concern, he continued to attempt to free himself and barely a second before the clasp was about to come loose, the parachutes deployed.
The impact sent those who were out of their seats flying across the ship, causing substantial damage to the vessel and steam poured out from some pipes that were smashed. There was another lurch and bright sparks exploded over many of the prisoners as the G force pinned us all in place. I stared at Murphy in wide eyed horror and before I could stop myself, a small scream escaped my lips.
"Cassidy, it's fine!" He called over as he frantically forced his harness back into a secure position and I clung to the straps around me for any slight sense of reassurance. Gasping breaths wracked my chest as I battled to keep control of my terror and suddenly a full shower of sparks poured out from the centre of the chamber. Manic screaming burst out of my mouth as the lights began flickering on and off, and I was thrown around like a ragdoll as the dropship spun mercilessly.
"Stop, it's okay!" Murphy yelled, but his voice was drowned out by the overpowering clanking sounds and cries of the others. The space filled with smoke that seeped straight into my lungs and I practically howled with panic. "Cassie!" He bellowed, finally catching my attention as the smoke that had been blocking him from view moved past us and he wasted no time in halting my hysteria. "Stop screaming!" He demanded and though his tone sounded frustrated, I could recognise clear worry in his eyes. "Enjoy the ride, Sugar!" He added with a mischievous smile, before bursting out with whooping as if he were having the time of his life, rather than falling to his death and I had to scoff at his ridiculousness.
We were bounced up and down constantly, and it was quickly becoming difficult to even tell which way up we were any longer through the chaos. The chamber was lit only by the spray of electrical components blowing up around us and though others descended into mania, the sounds of Murphy's enthusiastic yells gave me the strength to remain calm.
With one final deafening crash, the movement ceased and we were plunged into darkness, left only with the sound of the engines powering down. People gassed with relief and several of the inmates called out to each other in the moments before the lights finally flickered back into life with a noticeable inconsistency. For a few moments, everyone was silent as we seemed to share the same expectancy that death would meet us at any given second, but eventually a comfortingly familiar voice spoke.
"Listen! No machine hum." Monty declared and though I craned my neck to try to find him, I couldn't place where the voice was coming from.
"Whoa. That's a first." Jasper breathed with a comical enthusiasm and I was relieved to find that they were both here and safe.
A loud click announced the automatic unlock of all of our buckles and people wasted no time in rushing from their confinements, either to reunite with friends or to fight their way out of the chamber first. Murphy rapidly removed himself from his harness, then strode over to assist me out of mine.
"You good?" He enquired, furrowing his brows as he met my eyes and I nodded back uncertainty. In truth, I wasn't sure how to answer that question, but the fact that I was still breathing was a good enough start for now. I heard Clarke's voice fussing over some others across the ship and my breath caught in my throat with relief to find that she had thankfully survived the rough landing.
"The outer door is on the lower level. Let's go!" An aggressive male voice yelled and Murphy glanced over his shoulder for the source, before returning his attention to me with a keen look in his eyes.
"You heard the man." He drawled mischievously, turning to march toward the hatch. After a few steps, he realised that I wasn't following him and paused to glance back at me. "You coming or what?" He called back and I slowly shook my head at him, uncertain about battling my way into the bustling group of teenagers. Though he was clearly hesitant to leave me, the raised voices from below were too tempting for him to resist and after a few moments of silent deliberation he shrugged, before rushing after them.