Shadgirl2: Sorry for the long wait on this chapter. I've had a lot of issues lately.
Midna Azusa: Yeah, and this story takes a fair bit more revision on her part each time I send her a chapter.
Shadgirl2: I do have it ready now, though, so it's all set.
Midna: Enjoy!
Disclaimer: We don't own Trolls. Robert and Wendy belong to us. The songs in this chapter are "Love's the Only House" by Martina McBride and "So Small" by Carrie Underwood. The song referenced in Delta's narration is "One in Every Crowd" by Montgomery Gentry.
By the time Branch and Robert had finished delivering the hay, they were both tired and hungry. Robert wiped the sweat from his brow.
"Whew! Mighty fine work, son," he told Branch. "I reckon it's time we get back to the house, see if we can't rustle up some grub."
"Uh... Yeah, sounds good," Branch said, wary of the wording. Hope there's not too much "rustling up" involved in getting lunch. I don't really feel like hunting my own food today!
The way this place worked, he wouldn't be surprised if he was expected to hunt and prepare his own food.
Robert headed back to the pickup bug, with Branch trailing behind. A furry white bat flew their way then, looking crazed.
"What in tarnation!?" Robert cried, ducking as the bat flew straight at his head.
It was heading for the jail, where Poppy was...and Branch couldn't help but worry that it was dangerous. "Whoa, there!" He tackled the creature, knocking it out of the air, and pinned it to the ground. "What is this thing!?"
The bat kept squirming, screeching loudly at him. Robert grabbed a net from the back of his bug and came over to check it out. "Hold that thing steady, son. I'll catch it, then we can let the mayor deal with it."
An idea hit Branch then. He started stroking and soothing the creature, saying, "Calm down, calm down, you're okay... You're okay..."
Gradually, the bat relaxed, until it stopped struggling and lay still.
Robert gave a start, lowering the net. He'd thought for sure he'd have to catch that crazy animal. "Well, butter my biscuits. You sure know your way around with the critters, don't ya?"
Not really, Branch thought wryly. Poppy's dad just gives me way too much practice calming freaked-out people...and, apparently, the same tricks work on...whatever this is.
The bat gave a content screech. Now that things had calmed down, Branch finally noticed the envelope stuck in the creature's mouth. Curious, he took the envelope and let the bat go. Inside the envelope was a letter that read:
Dear Poppy,
Having a rockin' good time at Volcano Rock City! This place is so fierce and wild, I'm not sure if we'll ever leave! Hope you don't miss us any!
Your friend,
Fuzzbert!
As Branch read the letter, the bat got up and started flying away, much more calmly than it had arrived.
Branch looked it over two times, seeing in there a problem. The words Fuzzbert chose to emphasize implied that the Rock Trolls were dangerous and wouldn't let them leave. Were any of the other tribes friendly? Okay, granted, Poppy had started the problems they were having with the Country Trolls...but they didn't need to lock them both up because of what she did, and how was 50 years in jail a fair penalty? Besides that, she was another leader! Delta couldn't just—
Realizing he was getting distracted, Branch cut his own frustrated thoughts off so he could focus on the new problem: Fuzzbert and Aspen.
"Argh, I knew we shouldn't have done this!" he said, tossing his head in irritation.
"What's the matter, son?" Robert asked.
"This letter's from a friend of mine," Branch answered. "Queen Poppy sent him to Volcano Rock City for the same reason she and I came here—Party Crasher Relief, she's calling it. Looks like they're being held captive!"
"Shucks! That ain't good, but it ain't no surprise, neither."
"I need to talk to Mayor Delta, right now!"
Robert held his hands up in a calming gesture, saying, "Alright, son, calm down! We'll go find her, alright? Come on, I'll take you to her."
Branch nodded, and he went with Robert to find the mayor of Lonesome Flats.
In her office, Delta was strumming on her banjo, singing a country song. She had heard Larry and Poppy singing it earlier, and they'd really put her in the mood for it. Clampers was on the floor, playing with blocks. Mostly this meant she was chewing on them.
"All I can say is love's the only house big enough for all the pain in the world," Delta sang, smiling and rocking her head to the song.
Clampers took a break from chewing a red block to sing, "Love's the only house big enough for all the pain."
The door burst open then, and Branch and Robert came running in. Delta gave a slight start, and Clampers's head whipped around as the peaceful atmosphere was disrupted.
"Miss Mayor, we've got quite the pickle on our hands!" Robert said.
Delta sighed tiredly and put her banjo down. "Oh, now what? Larry up to his old tricks again with that lil—"
"No, nothing about Lonesome Flats," Branch cut her off. "A couple of Pop Trolls went to Volcano Rock City, and they sent a message." He handed her the letter, hoping she'd realize how serious this was. "I know Fuzzbert, and, reading between the lines, I know they're not allowed to leave. Someone has to go help them!"
Delta snatched the letter and skimmed it quickly—she knew how the Rock Trolls could be. Her eyes widened in surprise, and she lowered the letter slowly. "Oh, my stars... She's at it again..."
How many trolls was Princess Barb going to hold captive? Prince D had been her first victim, given his love of traveling to other tribes. The first time he visited, he had apparently been forced to stay until he at least pretended to love rock music. Princess Barb's insistence on convincing other trolls that rock was the best made Delta worry that the Rock princess had something devious planned, maybe something as bad as the Pop Trolls had done long ago.
There was no doubt the Rock princess was trouble, and someone needed to do something about it. But what could they do? Ordinarily, Delta would just come up with something herself and charge in, but she'd already had two misunderstandings with foreign leaders (the second of which was ongoing, as proven by the Pop Troll standing in front of her), and she didn't really need to risk having a third incident.
Maybe she should be proactive about this and get the Funk Trolls' advice instead of taking matters into her own hands, she decided. If Princess Barb was potentially dangerous to the other tribes, then they needed to nip this in the bud.
Clampers climbed onto her aunt's head and looked at the letter in concern.
"Fuzzbert can stay cool under pressure, but he can't get himself out of a situation like that! Please, let me go and help him!" Branch pleaded. 'If I don't get him out of there, who knows what'll happen!"
"Sorry, honey. No can do. Ya still got some time to serve, and—"
Branch threw his arms up in the air, glaring at her in panicked frustration. "Oh, come on! I've been working my tail off here! Look, if it means that much to you, then you can send someone with me. I'll come back and finish paying off my debt to society once my friend's safe! Just let me help him! This is an emergency!"
"I know that, lil' darlin'!" Delta assured him, looking a bit anxious herself. "Believe me, I know! But I can't risk havin' ya cause more trouble for me and my people!" She put the letter down and opened a drawer in her desk, from which she pulled a pen, paper, and an envelope. "Tell ya what? I'll send over some of my guys to retrieve yer little friends. There's this one guy on my payroll who can have the job done before noon tomorrow. And that way, they get the help they need and ya can quit worryin' and finish payin' off yer debt to society. That work for ya, hon?"
She didn't wait for an answer—she started writing a letter to Hickory right then, regardless of whether that worked for Branch or not.
Branch groaned and muttered, "No, but..." Louder, he answered, "Yeah, I guess that works."
This was ridiculous. How many years of community service would he be doing?
Delta stuffed her letter in an envelope and whistled. Another Country Troll zipped in quickly, one of those weird duck/hawk-like creatures on his arm.
"Carrier Duck Hawk Delivery! At yer service, Miss Mayor! How can I be of assistance?" he asked with a cheerful smile.
Delta handed him the envelope, an urgent look on her face, and said, "Princess Barb's up to her old tricks. Go find the Yodelers and tell 'em I've got a job fer them to do."
The troll tipped his hat and responded, "Yes, ma'am! Right away!" He took the letter and hurried out, tying it to the bird's leg as he went.
Delta turned her attention back to Branch, clapping her hands together as though wiping dust from them, and said, "There, that should do it. Now I reckon the two of you should head on back to the farm now. There's still some time before the big bonfire tonight, and ya haven't finished yer chores yet, have ya?"
"Right you are, Miss Mayor," Robert responded. He turned to leave, adding, "Come on, Branch."
Branch sighed. "Yeah."
Wishing he'd tried harder to talk Poppy out of this insanity, he followed Robert back outside.
Delta picked her banjo back up and resumed her song. She saw no sense worrying about the Pop Trolls now—Hickory and Dickory were the best in the business, so she knew they'd get the job done. "Don't ya know that love's the only house big enough for all the pain in the world?"
From outside, she heard Poppy sing, "Oh, and when you figure out love is all that matters after all, it sure makes everything else..."
Delta stopped her song, raising an eyebrow and listening intently.
"Seem so small," Poppy sang.
Delta grinned, proud, and started playing that one on her banjo instead. "Maybe them Pop Trolls aren't so bad, after all."
And she joined Poppy in her newest song. As she continued, an idea came to her. Maybe the Pop Trolls would both cool off if they had the chance to experience the best Lonesome Flats had to offer. The upcoming bonfire would surely show them that, especially if she allowed one very special troll to join in... As the song said, "there's one in every crowd."
Branch's mood was definitely sour now. His friends were in trouble, and he was stuck here, relying on Delta Dawn to sort it out.
"Don't you worry one bit, boy," Robert assured him. "Mayor Delta's got everything under control. Your little friends will be just fine, I'm sure."
"Yeah," Branch answered shortly. They're gonna have to be—I can't do anything for them! Why did I let Poppy do this!? I knew it was a bad idea! I mean, if Fuzzbert and Aspen are in trouble with the Rock Trolls and we're in trouble here, who's to say DJ, Satin, Chenille, and Guy are okay? And DJ had CJ with her, too! A little kid! These other tribes are nothing but trouble, and I never should have let anyone visit them!
Not that he ever could stop them when they wanted to do something stupid, but he still felt like he should have found some way to protect them from the other trolls.
Robert got back in the driver's seat of his bug, and a gloomy Branch climbed back into the bed with Wendy. As they drove past the jail, Robert heard a song that made him stop.
"It's so easy to get lost inside a problem that seems so big at the time," Poppy sang. "It's like a river that's so wide, it swallows you whole."
Figuring that might help Branch calm down, Robert said, "Now, ain't that just the purtiest thing you ever heard?"
Robert thought the message of the song might help—it did say there was no sense in worrying about what you can't change, advice that Robert thought Branch could really use right about now.
Branch listened, although he wasn't really in the mood.
"While you're sitting around thinking about what you can't change and worrying about all the wrong things..." Poppy sang on.
Branch glared, more annoyed at the situation than the singing girl. Bad timing, Poppy.
"Time's flying by, moving so fast. You better make it count 'cause you can't get it back."
She was singing cheerfully, seemingly without a care in the world. No surprise—when he'd been gray, Branch had told her the world wasn't all cupcakes and rainbows, and she'd realized that. However, she still usually acted like she thought it was.
"Yeah, okay, except mine's being spent in community service after getting arrested because somebody helped start a mutiny!" Branch snapped.
He'd probably regret being so short with her later. It wasn't technically her fault Fuzzbert was in trouble, and she didn't even know he was.
"Oh, come on, Branch!" Poppy said, throwing her head in exasperation. She was trying not to show annoyance at him—it wasn't like he was wrong, after all. "I said I was sorry. What's your problem now?" Silently, she worried, Oh, cupcakes, this is bad! He's still mad, and he doesn't seem like he'll calm down any anytime soon! Just like that last time when he—Oh, hair! I'm in trouble! I'd better think of a good way to apologize for all of this, and fast, or I'm as good as single again! Now, let's see... If I made him king for a day, that should—
As king, he could boss her around. But she didn't have the time to finish thinking about how she'd make up for the whole "Larry's flirting with me, and I didn't even notice it" thing (which, she knew, was what was really upsetting him here) before he said something alarming.
"Got a letter from Fuzzbert," Branch answered, hopping off the truck and walking over to stand in front of the door. "He and Aspen are having a great time in Volcano Rock City. They're never leaving!"
Poppy gasped, covering her mouth, her eyes wide with shock and worry. "Aspen and Fuzzbert, too!?" she cried. Oh, great! This is really bad! First Smidge gets in trouble with a bunch of apparently paranoid Pop trolls who're about as bad as Branch, now Aspen and Fuzzbert are in trouble with a different group of trolls, too! What's next!? DJ getting arrested for kidnapping her own niece!? Satin and Chenille forced into an arranged marriage for being so classy? And what about the rest of them!? Did Karma and Harper run into those stingerbugs again!? This is a total disaster! Now what are we gonna do!?
Well, Robert hadn't planned on a conversation. Aw, well. He needed to get some lunch, anyway. As the smell of hamburgers reached his nose, he decided to head to the BBQ and grab himself, Branch, and Wendy something to eat. If Branch needed to vent to his lady friend, Robert figured he'd save some time and get food here so they could get back to work once they got back to the farm.
"Wendy, I'll be right back," he said, getting out of the bug. "Just gonna grab a bite for the three of us since Branch clearly needs to fill his queen in."
"Got it," Wendy answered, sitting back and chewing on a piece of hay. "I'll keep an eye on things, then."
Apparently oblivious to this side conversation, Branch said (sarcastically), "Yeah, and with how great this is going, probably also Satin, Chenille, Guy, DJ, and CJ."
"Oh, man. This is a disaster!" Poppy moaned. Annoyed, she started listing off all of their problems, counting them on her hand. "First you and I get caught by these unhappy Country Trolls, then Smidge gets—"
Branch's eyes widened in shock. "Wait, Smidge!? But—she went to see another group of Pop Trolls! What happened to her!?"
"Well, apparently, some of the Pop Trolls did get attacked by the Party Crashers, and now they think anyone who comes to them for a visit is a bad guy! And, if that's not bad enough, they wanted us all to come to her rescue by telling them she didn't do anything! Unfortunately, though, Mayor Delta had other plans, so now we're sending out a cry for help to Guy instead!"
Branch groaned. Did Delta Dawn have to get in their way at every turn? "And Guy's probably in trouble with the Funk Trolls, assuming he even found them. Mayor Delta decided to send someone on her 'payroll' to rescue Fuzzbert and Aspen. Says they'll have the job done by noon tomorrow. This mayor is seriously a problem. We need a new plan, she'll never let us out of here!" He panicked, momentarily forgetting that there were multiple Country Trolls in the area who could hear his words.
"Calm down, Branch!" Poppy tried. "You don't know—"
"Alright, boy, come get your lunch!" Robert called, now back by his bug. "We need to get back to the farm and get back to work."
Branch groaned. He didn't want to go back to that stupid farm and spend the rest of his life working for Delta and her town for free. "...You don't know," he said to Poppy. His attitude right now, his words and thoughts, very much resembled those he'd had when he was gray and thought Poppy would be a terrible queen. He turned and started walking away, looking back over his shoulder as he called, "You don't know anything about what you're doing right now!"
"Branch!" she protested, slightly upset. "Come on! That's not—"
She hated seeing him so miserable, but it was worse knowing that she was the one who caused it. Now she knew she'd lose him if she didn't think of something. He looked about as bad as he had right before he dumped her. Would she ever get this whole relationship thing right?
Larry moved up beside her slowly, cutting her off with an amused grin (and making Poppy start, eyes wide). "Trouble in paradise? Yeah, the mayor's good at stirrin' up—"
She turned to glare at Larry, hands on her hips, and said, "You stay out of this! It's got nothing to do with you!"
Even before he got back to the bug, Branch felt guilty for what he'd said. Sure, it was true—Poppy didn't know how to handle a situation like this. But that didn't mean he needed to say it! Robert handed him a wrapped burger and a cup filled with what he said was "coke." Feeling even more upset, Branch climbed back into the bed of the bug with his lunch, and Robert started driving.
"What was that about back there, boy?" Wendy asked, arms crossed, as she cast him a suspicious look. "Somethin' about a new escape plan?"
Even better: he'd been stupid enough to say something about escaping with this troll right there in earshot.
Branch groaned and answered, "I've got nothing, so you can relax. I'm pretty sure my friends are all done for because there's nothing I can do about any of this except serve my time." Muttering, he complained, "For trying to break out of a jail I was locked in for the crime of walking into town with an oblivious pink queen. Never letting her take a 'diplomatic trip' again."
Not that he could stop her if she wanted to, but he'd try.
Wendy narrowed her eyes at him. "Oh, really?"
Branch sighed. "Really. Look, I'm sorry. I'm planning on serving my time. I just get...really worked up when anything bad happens to my friends. They're all I have, and I don't want to lose any of them. Now it looks like I might lose all of them..." He looked away, wondering if any of them would make it home. If Smidge was arrested by other Pop Trolls, what happened to Biggie and Cooper? Were Harper and the others okay?
Wendy gave a sympathetic smile. That made sense. "Aw, don't get yer knickers in a bunch, son. They're probably alright. Princess Barb's a pain in the rear, but she ain't no killer. Neither are King Trollex, King Quincy, or Conductor Trollzart, from what I've heard. I'm sure yer friends are alright."
Branch looked at her with a hint of hope, but he was still worried. "...I'll have to take your word for it."
Wendy just grinned as Robert drove on.