Esme made it to the top of the stairs trying hard to cover up the fact that she was out of breath. Taking a few steady breaths she walked over to the only closed door in the hallway. Alice and Jasper's room. Before she could even knock, the door opened slightly. A shy smile spread across her face as she walked in.
"Jasper." Esme announced as she entered the room,unable to see him at first. After a moment, she spotted him sitting on the edge of his bed, his back to her. "Jasper, are you alright? I have been worried about you."
"I know, and I'm sorry." Jasper said softly, his southern accent poking through.
Slowly, Esme made her way to the end of the bed, sitting down next to him. He moved his head away in a sudden blur, not wanting to look at her.
"Did I do something to offend you? You know I would ever intentionally hurt you." Esme said, placing a soft hand on his hard shoulder. In a blink of an eye, Jasper was no longer sitting on the bed, but now was in front of his window, watching the rain hit the darken pavement.
"Do you remember when we first moved to forks, and what you said to me?" He asked, his eyes still locked on his window.
"Yes, I told you, you were going to like it here." Esme answered, feeling a bit uneasy. "Was I wrong with that assumption?"
"No, you were correct. The moment our feet touch ground here in Washington, I felt as though there had been a weight lifted off of me." He answered. Jasper moved his hands to either side of the window as he bowed his head in concentration. "How do you do it?"
"Do what?"
"Alice can see the future, but the future is always changing. Edward can read minds but people can block their thoughts from him. I can feel everyone's emotions, but even at our most vulnerable, you seem to keep yours in check. You take care of everyone, to make sure we are all safe and happy. You and Carlisle have so much compassion, to not only be the leaders of a coven, but to make us your family." Jasper admitted, never breaking his gaze away from the outside world.
Esme sat as still as she could, wondering where he was going with this.
"When you told me in full confidence I would like it here, I had my doubts, but the first time we ran through the rain, I felt like I could do anything. I felt like everything was finally going to be okay. How? How did you know? How can you carry this family like you were born to do it? " He asked, finally turning around to meet Esme's watery gaze.
"You like the rain. I don't think you ever realized you did. Everyone else hates it. They would rather hide away on some sunny island. Due to being an empath, you would agree with them when they would complain about how awful the rain was. Whenever we would hunt and it would be raining, that was when I saw the real you. You would be smiling and chasing Alice around and splashing Emmett with mud puddles." Esme chuckled at the memory.
She stood up and walked over to him, and though he was a head taller than she was, he felt like a little boy talking with his mom. "We came to Forks, because of me?" He asked, afraid to meet her gaze.
"Yes. Everyone gets to pick and though you never actually picked Forks, I knew this would be your choice. "
Jasper finally met her gaze and pulled her in for a soft hug, careful not to hurt her or the baby.
"Is this why you have been hiding from me?" She asked, pulling away but keeping her arms around him. "Have you been feeling guilty about the move to forks?"
"No, that's not it." Jasper admitted, pulling away fully and began pacing at human speed around his room.
"Then why?" Esme asked. When she received no answer she sat back down on the edge of his bed, and patted the spot beside her. "Jasper, you are only going to drive yourself crazy by keeping everything inside. If it has something to do with me or the rest of the family, none of us are going to be angry with you. If you need help with something, then I would like to help you, but I can't help you unless you talk to me."
Taking in an unnecessary deep breath, Jasper, sat down on the bed and looked over at Esme. "I'm scared."
"What has you so scared?" Esme asked, moving some of his hair away from his eyes that have fallen.
"I'm scared of what I could do. I am scared that, with you now being human, I could hurt you." Jasper admitted, his leg shaking slightly. A nervous habit he was never able to break from being human.
"Jasper, I have been human for months now, and even though you have kept your distance, you still haven't physically hurt me." Esme tried to calm his fears.
"But what about the baby?" Jasper asked, almost crying out the question. "What if I hurt the baby?"
Shocked at his question, Esme's mind flashed to her biggest fears back when she was with Charles. Afraid that he would hurt her precious baby boy after he was born. Shaking her head, putting his memory in the back of her head, she grabbed Jasper's hands. "Jasper, I know you, I think I might know you better than you know yourself. When the baby gets here, I know you won't hurt it. I know that you will be a great big brother."
"But it will be human for so long. I am not sure I can be around human blood for that long. When they are a toddler, they will fall down and cut open a leg, I am not sure I can handle that. Be taunted by fresh blood every second of the day." Jasper said, feeling ashamed.
"Oh, sweetie, you are going to be just fine. You did just fine when Bella was human. You did amazing when Bella was pregnant with Renesmee. You are even great with her now! Please don't discount all the great things you have done! I believe you can do this. For the first couple of years you may need to go hunting a bit more. I am going to need you. I am going to need all of you." Esme said, gripping his hand too hard, she was hurting herself in the process.
"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere, but Alice and I might go on more trips. They won't be long, but I may need a break from everything." He admitted. "But don't worry, we won't be gone long."
Jasper slowly stood up from the bed, helping Esme up as well, pulling her in for another hug.
"Good, because not only am I going to need you, but this little one is going to need you as well." Esme jokes, placing her hand as well as Jasper's hand on her stomach, both of them feeling the baby kicking.
"Trust me, I can't wait to meet her, we all can't wait." Jasper said, staring at Esme's stomach in amazement, when he suddenly felt her stiffen.
"Did you just say 'her'?"