"For the last time," Hermione said, struggling not to scream at Dean and Sam Winchester, "I am not, I repeat not, killing Crowley!"
"Dude," Dean said to Sam as Ursula struggled to crawl into his lap, "I told you she fell for him."
"Yes," Hermione snarled. "Because, I have to be in love with someone to simply not want them dead!" Sam and Dean smirked at each other.
"Who said anything about love?" Sam asked cheekily, seconds before a nearby lamp shattered. Ursula lazily glanced at it before returning to licking Dean's chin.
"Relax Hermione," Dean said scratching the hellhound's ear. "We're just teasing you. You know that we don't want Abaddon in charge. Besides we enjoy threatening Crowley."
"I'm well aware of your bromance with him, which has a foundation created of death threats," Hermione answered. "However, I'm a bit more concerned with the fact that a psychotic demon broke into my house!"
"Yeah," Dean said. "About that….how are you still alive? I mean, Abaddon's been burning through every human she's come across. Don't get me wrong, I know you're powerful, but we're talking about a Knight of Hell."
Hermione sighed, "She apparently took those stupid warnings that Crowley insisted on, seriously."
"Wait," Sam said suddenly grinning. "You're not talking about the ones describing you as though you're Grendel from Beowulf?"
"What do you think Sam?" Hermione asked as he started laughing at her expense. "You were so pissed when Cas translated them for you."
"I remember Sam," Hermione said. "Concerning the matter at hand. I sent the dogs to various family members in case she manages to dig them up, and then ran with Ursula. Tossed my mobile too."
"Good," Dean grunted, still focused on Ursula.
"She did love that Ursua growled whenever Crowley's name was used," Hermione added. "So your stupid trick actually worked." Dean's face lit up, and he began cooing at the giant dog. Sam and Hermione watched as he asked Ursula repeatedly, "who's a good girl?"
"It's just….weird," Sam finally said. "I mean considering one tore him apart….it's just fucking weird."
"Bitch," Dean said. "You're just jealous."
"So here's the thing, boys and girls, we have a crisis," Crowley said looking at his loyal group of advisors. "Granted a crisis of my own making. In my extended absence, where I handled sensitive matters of state, Abaddon made inroads into my following, creating chaos. So i look to you, my trusted advisors, to restore confidence, to soothe those jangled nerves. Spread the word, the King is back, and the Kingdom once again on sound footing. So all those with me, say Yo."
No one moved. Crowley stared the group down as many of the demons tried to avoid eye contact, until the usurper herself walked into the room.
"Yo," she said grinning. "Well, I mean I'm literally with you, not with you, with you. Know what I mean?"
Crowley snarled, turning to the group of traitors, "You betrayed me?! No one in the history of torture's been tortured with torture like the torture you'll be tortured with!" HIs anger raged so much that he didn't even register his threat. Several of the advisors, however, shifted uncomfortably.
"Relax, everyone," Abaddon said from the little settee she was sitting upon. "You did the new Queen a solid. You're at the popular kids table." Her reassurances only served to heighten the tension in the room.
"Now," Abaddon said turning her attention to Crowley. "As I understand it, the Winchesters have the First Blade, and the Mark of Cain. Am I correct?"
"Scared?" Crowley mocked. "Would've thought you'd be delighted to take care of those pesky hunters. After all, they're nothing compared to the Men of Letters." He relished the glare that the Knight bestowed upon him. This was a battle of saving face, and Abaddon knew it.
"Here's the thing pet," she said. "Who exactly do you think they'll go after once I'm out of the way?"
"To be clear, I'll never be joining you," Crowley answered. "Except at your death scene, where I shall burst into song. Goodbye. You have no hold over me."
"Oh no?" Abaddon trilled snapping her fingers to reveal a flesh and blood Gavin. Crowley promptly laughed at her.
"You're bit late in the series," he said. "Song and dance has already been used and didn't take."
"Yes," Abaddon agreed. "However, that was before you were binging human blood. Something tells me you'll feel differently this time around." She waved her hand, and Gavin began wheezing, choking for air, as blood dripped from his eyes.
"I'm blind," the boy gasped painfully. "Help! I beg of you."
"Such a weak hand," Crowley muttered before snapping his fingers, and instantly snapping his son's neck. Every demon in the room stared in surprise at the callousness displayed.
"Next?" He asked smugly as Abaddon glared at him. "Don't tell me you're all out? I was hoping for an actual challenge."
Abaddon threw open the double doors to reveal a Hermione, standing in a tulle gown, designed to emphasize her raw power, and suggest that she just walked triumphantly off the battlefield. Her curls rioted down her back, fighting the silver crown she wore. Abaddon stared at Crowley triumphantly, as he watched Hermione as though she were a delectable treat.
The demonic advisors, however, violently flinched in fear at the sight of the witch. Several of them actually jumped to their feet as she glided into the room. Crowley continued to waver between delight and horror at her presence in the room.
"Mimi," Crowley spoke reverently as Hermione sniffed in his direction.
"Crowley," she answered before glowering at the table of advisors, all of whom were cowering. "Sit down!" Every single one collapsed in their seats as though they had been compelled...or simply terrified.
"I see the sacrifices have already began," Hermione said looking at Gavin's body distastefully before stepping over it.
"She's got style," Abaddon said before examining her nails. "Now let's talk about killing those Winchesters."
"I told you the crown suits you," Crowley said, ignoring Abaddon entirely. "I've never seen you look more lovely. Not to mention the amount of fear you've instilled in the minions. I'm practically salivating."
"Keep it in your pants," Hermione said dismissively. "I must admit, the craftsmanship is excellent. Arterous is exceedingly talented."
"Your Highness is too kind," Arterous said from his place at the table of advisors, relief breaking out over his face.
"Pity that treason outweighs talent," Hermione sniffed, as Arterous looked horrified once more. "I'm surprised you haven't killed him already."
The demonic blacksmith fell to his knees groveling to Hermione, before Abaddon eviscerated him into dust out of sheer irritation.
"Well," Hermione said, "That was a waste. Personally, I would have drawn his death out. Treason typically calls for torture, if only for enjoyment and detterment."
"Have I proposed recently?" Crowley asked Hermione sounding utterly delighted. The Witch glared at him, "Right, I suppose introductions are in order. Abaddon, may I present my better half, Mimi, rightful Queen of Hell."
The Knight stared at the pair, angrily realizing she'd been outmaneuvered.
"I did tell you he had a queen," Hermione reminded Abaddon as she wandlessly summoned a glass of Craig. Admittedly, the witch was showing off to scare the demon across from her, and thankfully her power move was successful.
"All you've managed to do is bare your throat," Abaddon snarled to Crowley as she pulled a gun and shot him in the chest. "Did you really believe I won't kill her?"
"Are you out of your bloody mind?" Crowley snarled, clutching his wound, while Hermione looked boredly at the two demons.
"Little trick I learned from Henry Winchester," Abaddon answered. "You're not seriously wounded, just powerless; which allows your little harlot and I to talk. Now let's talk about your sudden abdication."
Hermione rolled her eyes and pulled her wand out of its holster, before silently summoning the bullet from Crowley's chest. Once it was free of his body, she expelled it towards Abaddon, who managed to mostly maneuver out of its path. Ultimately, the devil trap engraved bullet penetrated Abaddon's upper arm, and Hermione used her magic to shove it all the way in.
"You were saying?" Hermione asked.
"Gaia!" Abaddon snarled, trying to dig the bullet out of her arm. Hermione magically pushed it deeper, eliciting a howl from the demon. "Cain slaughtered you! I witnessed it, before Lucifer dispatched the Knights to deal with your mutilated spawn."
"Not very well," Hermione said. "As flattered as your assumption is, I'm not Gaia. I'm just one of the thousands she blessed."
"You won't leave this room alive," Abaddon vowed.
"About that," Hermione interrupted. "I didn't exactly arrive alone."
On cue, Dean entered the room, only to be slammed against the far wall by Abaddon.
"First Dean dies, then Crowley watches his harlot be mutilated before also joining her in death," Abaddon said grinning. "I'll destroy the blade and then rule as Queen."
"Quite a to-do list," Dean wheezed against the pressure on his chest. Hermione rolled her eyes and blasted Abaddon backwards with a silent
which resulted in Dean collapsing on the ground in a coughing fit.
"Sorry," Hermione said to the red haired demon, "I'm not really a fan of the monologuing. So if you could just...get on with it."
"Stay out of this!" Abaddon snarled as she started towards Dean. The two continued struggling, while Crowley tugged Hermione into his lap to watch the battle. Sam burst into the room, to know one's surprise, forcing Hermione to freeze him so he wouldn't interfere. As if bolstered by his brother's presence, Dean managed to stab Abaddon in the abdomen; only he didn't stop.
"Dean!" Sam and Hermione yelled, finally capturing his attention. The First Blade clattered to the floor, as Dean shakenly backed away. Hermione promptly banished the crude bone to her beaded bag before turning to the group of advisors.
"You get an unspecified head start," she said to the quivering group. "I'm positive that Crowley's already threatened you." They all nodded.
"Excellent, then I suggest you don't let me catch you. Forcing me to attend this ghastly occasion has pissed me off more than your treasonous acts, and I will not be lenient." They all fled immediately, as Dean and Sam stared at her.
"Isn't she amazing?" Crowley asked the boys.
"Damn," Sam muttered. "You certainly know how to play the Evil Queen."
"She looks hot," Dean added.
"Watch it," Crowley growled.
"I just emulated a friend's mum," Hermione said shrugging as she pulled the silver crown off her head, "Actually she's the one who dressed me. I've never met anyone scarier than Narcissa Malfoy."