I watched the movies "Knives Out" at a film festival and decided to do a parody on that. This also counts as a Halloween episode even though its not October yet.
Description: The Town of South Park gets invited over to a fancy dinner. That is until one of the guests is murdered. Soon, everyone becomes a suspect.
"Stan? Could you go get the mail?" Randy asked.
Stan went over to get the mail. Inside was a strange letter, nothing else in the mailbox. He handed it to Randy.
"What the hell is this?" Randy said, opening the letter.
I hereby invite you to attend my dinner party and stay for a weekend at Rocky Point Manor. I will be looking forward to meeting you.
"The fuck is this letter?" Randy said.
Randy showed the letter to everyone.
"Dinner party?" Sharon said.
"Yeah, some unknown person is telling us to come here." Randy said.
"I've never been to one." Sharon said. "Let's go."
That weekend...
The Marsh Family all packed their bags and drove over to the manor. They left the town of South Park to over a bridge leading out to the woods. Out of the woods led to the countryside. And out of the countryside led to the hills and mountains.
"Ugh, we've been driving for hours!" Stan said.
"We're almost there, Stanley." Randy reassured.
"You said that an hour ago!" Stan said.
"No really, we're there!" Sharon said.
A stone bridge led to a black gate. The gate opened, revealing to be the largest mansion Stan has ever saw. It was near a cliffside, had a fountain in the middle, and two large doors at the front.
"Whoa." Shelly gasped.
Randy parked the car at the parking lot near the entrance. Soon, other cars arrived. The first to arrive after Stan was Wendy's car. Wendy and her parents parked next to them.
"Oh, Hi Stan." Wendy said.
"What are you doing here, Wendy?" Stan asked.
"My family got an invitation to come here." She replied.
"That's strange, because I got an invitation too." Stan added.
Kyle's car then arrived. Kyle, Ike, and their parents went out of it.
"Dude, you got an invitation too?" Stan said.
"Yeah, this place is awesome!" Kyle said.
Cartman came out of his car.
"You guys! You guys! You never guess what I got!" He said.
"You got an invitation, fatass?" Kyle said.
"Duh!" Cartman said. "This is going to be awesome!"
Kenny's family got there too.
"How did you get here?" Kyle asked.
(Another family who got an invitation was nice of us to get us here!) Kenny said.
Jimmy's car arrived. Then Craig's. Then Tweek's. Then Token's. Everyone in South Park was invited. Then two familiar faces arrived last on a motorbike.
"Okay, we're here." The driver said.
Stan realized who it was.
"Peter? Is that you?" He said.
"Yeah." Peter said.
"And that must be the Unicorn everyone is talking about." Kyle said.
"What the hell is going on?" The Unicorn said. "Everyone got the same invitation?"
Yes. Even Kyle's cousin Kyle came over. People didn't even need to drive their cars here. One person came from an ice cream truck. Another came from the sky on a parachute. One even came from sea.
Everyone walked inside the mansion.
"Whoa, it looks like Hogwarts in here!" Wendy said.
A maid introduced herself to the town.
"I will show you to your rooms." She said. "You must be at dinner at 8 o'clock."
The maid took the town to their rooms. Since there weren't enough rooms for all of the town, two families were chosen for each room. Stan and Wendy, Butters and Cartman, Kyle and Kenny, Craig and Tweek, Clyde and Peter with the Unicorn, Heidi and Bebe, and so on.
"So Wendy, how'd you like it here?" Stan asked.
"It's great!" Wendy said. "I like how fancy it is."
"I don't know about this place." Peter said in his room.
"Why not?" The Unicorn said.
"Have you ever seen this old movie called Clue?" Peter asked.
The Unicorn had his eyes raised in question.
"About that board game?"
"Oh, Yeah." The Unicorn said, realizing everything.
"It's like that. Some weird mansion." Peter said.
"I don't know about you guys, this place's awesome." Clyde said from his bed. "The only bad part here is that there's no signal or wifi here."
Later at dinner...
Everyone dressed formally at dinner. Husbands sat next to their wives, children sat with their friends.
"I don't get it." Peter said. "We all got invited by an unknown host, but our host hasn't shown up yet."
Footsteps can be heard. Everyone turned to that direction. Then his face was shown. Tom Cruise. Everyone gasped.
"Tom Cruise?" Sharon gasped..
"Thank you for joining me at this wonderful dinner. I have my wife, Sarah with me." He said.
Everyone looked at each other.
"Where's the food?" Cartman said.
"This was supposed to be a party in my honor!" Randy said.
"Why the hell should we trust you?!" Stan said. "You nearly destroyed our town!"
"Now if you'll excuse me, I'll check on dinner." Cruise said.
"Oh, I'll help you." Sarah said.
The two left.
"Maybe we should give him another chance." Gerald said.
"Maybe if I sit in his chair that can change me as well." A woman said, sitting in Cruise's chair.
Peter was struggling to open a bottle of soda.
"Why can't they just choose plastic or tin?" He grunted.
POP!
The bottle lid popped open. Peter caught it with his hand. Then...
Blood started to spill from the woman who sat on Cruise's chair. Everyone gasped.
"Did something hit me?" The woman said before slunking on the table. A man nearby checked her pulse.
"Oh my god, she's dead."
"Cruise must've brought us here to kill us all!" Sheila panicked.
"Run! Run for your lives!" Randy said.
Everyone screamed and ran out the front door. A thunderstorm was pouring on outside. Everyone got in their cars and drove away from the mansion. Thunder cracked. A large tree fell over the stone bridge, blocking their escape.
Later...
Everyone got back into the mansion. They all went to the living room to discuss everything.
"Does anyone got a cell phone?" Peter asked.
Everyone took out their cell phones.
"No signal!" Stan said.
"Me neither!" Wendy added.
"Well we can't just stay here, Cruise may be lurking in the house to kill us all!" Liane said.
"I have a plan. One of us has to sacrifice him or herself so that the rest of us will attack Cruise from behind." Randy said.
Randy was chosen.
"I didn't say to chose me!" Randy said after being shoved outside the living room.
"Okay, stay calm." Peter reassured.
"With a killer in the house?" Wendy said.
Sarah showed up.
"Has anyone seen Tom?" She asked.
The maid walked in.
"I've brought chicken wings." She said.
"Ooh, I want one." A voice said.
Tom came from out of the shadows. He grabbed a wing and popped it in his mouth. Everyone gasped.
"It's him!" Wendy pointed and gasped.
"Sorry about being gone. I couldn't stop looking at the owl that was right outside the window in my bathroom." Tom chuckled.
"You think you can get away with murder?" Peter accused.
"Murder? I didn't murder anyone." Tom said. "I don't even know what's really going on here."
"Oh really? Maybe that dead body in the dining hall might answer that question." The Unicorn huffed.
"I didn't see anything, I swear." Tom said. "I'll show you."
Everyone followed Tom to the dining hall. There was nothing there.
"It's gone!" Kyle gasped.
"Where is she?" Craig demanded. "What did you do with the body?"
"What body? I'm telling you I didn't murder anyone." Tom said.
Thunder cracked in the background again. The lights went out.
SHHHHK!
"Ah!"
The lights came back on.
"Look!" Peter said pointing at a direction.
Tom's body was on the floor. A knife was stuck to his back. Sarah screamed in horror.
"James didn't murder that woman." Stan said.
"Right. The killer has to be...one of us." Peter said.
Everyone gasped.
Everyone gathered together.
"Oh my god! We're all going to die!" Tweek panicked.
"Tweek, pull yourself together!" Craig said.
Tweek was pushed to a cupboard of plates. One of them smashed onto the floor.
"Oh my god, look!" Wendy said.
A silenced pistol was taped to a timer. In the back was a string attached to the trigger. Everyone looked to where it was pointing to. It was to Cruise's chair. Peter picked up the broken plate. It was only broken in half. Peter put the two plates together.
"The woman was an accident..." Wendy said. "The killer must be plotting to murder Tom!"
Everyone gathered into the living room.
"Okay, the killer had to murder Tom over something. But who would have a grudge against Tom?" Peter said.
Everyone looked at each other.
"I have one answer." Cartman said. "Stan Marsh."
Everyone turned to Stan.
"Okay, I called him a fudge packer and pissed him off. But I didn't kill him." Stan said. "What about you, Cartman? You hated him too."
"Yeah, so could Kyle." Cartman said.
"The truth is, we all could've killed him." Kyle said.
Everyone started accusing each other. A man was punched to a bookcase. A book fell down on a shifting tile. The bookcase spun around, revealing a secret passage.
"Cool, a secret passage!" Butters exclaimed.
With Randy leading the way, everyone followed downstairs. Inside was a hidden office. Everyone checked the drawers.
"Hey, look what I found." Peter said.
"Is it a clue?" Cartman said.
"No, it's a map of this place." He said.
"Wait, look at this." Randy said from across the room.
Everyone gathered around Randy, who was reading a prescription note.
"According to these prescriptions they are all from Johnny's pharmacy." He said.
"What's this all about, Johnny?" Gerald asked to Johnny.
"What are you talking about? I never met Cruise." Johnny said.
"No, but he did visit your pharmacy." Randy said. "Apparently, your wife was blackmailed into giving him those drugs or else he would call the cops on her. But when she refused, he cut all ties with her instead because she was secretly having an affair with him instead."
"You cheated on me?" Johnny said to his wife.
"Also a good reason on being the killer." Peter said.
"No! I didn't kill anyone!" Johnny's wife, Emily said.
Suddenly the lights went out. When it came back on, Emily was gone.
"Emily's missing!" Peter said.
"Okay, we have to split up." Randy said.
"I'll handle on who goes with who." Peter said. "You guys are going to be with your roommates. Everyone will split up into groups."
Stan followed Wendy down to the kitchen.
"Stan, if someone kills me, promise me you won't kill yourself to be with me." Wendy said.
"What?"
"I know you like me, I like you too, but we're not Romeo and Juliet." Wendy said.
"Okay." Stan said.
Cartman and Butters were checking the attic.
"Okay Butters, it's time for you to sacrifice yourself." Cartman said.
Butters went first up the stairs. A black cat jumped out at them.
"Augh!" They screamed.
The cat ran away.
"Oh god, that gave me a heart attack." Cartman gasped.
Peter, Clyde, and The Unicorn were all in one team.
"ACK!"
Everyone ran into that direction. Emily was dead on the floor.
"AHHHH!" They screamed.
The remaining guests ran to there as well.
"No, Emily!" Johnny said.
"Then Emily isn't the killer." Peter said.
"If we don't find the killer by sunrise..." The Unicorn said. "We could all die."
"Okay, everyone to the dining hall!" Peter said.
Everyone stood at the dining hall.
"OH GOD! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" Tweek panicked.
"Tweek, pull yourself together!" Craig said.
"Guys, I'm getting a signal from my phone." Johnny said.
"Great, call for help!" Randy said.
"Damn it, I can't get the signal anymore." Johnny said. "Maybe if I try the balcony."
Johnny left the room.
"Okay, nobody leaves the room!" Peter said.
"Wait, we're short a person here." Garrison said.
Everyone turned to the couch. Sarah who had just passed out on the couch after seeing Cruise dead was missing.
"Oh my god, Sarah's missing! She has to be the killer!" Wendy said.
"You don't even know that!" Randy said.
Everyone started arguing each other again.
TWACK!
Everyone ran outside. Johnny was dead on the ground.
"Johnny can't be the killer!" Peter said. "Look, he was hit in the head by a blunt object, like a hammer or a wrench!"
Everyone gathered around the trophy room.
"It's got to be Sarah!" The Unicorn said. "She's the only one missing here."
"Wait, there's a trophy missing!" The maid said.
A trophy that was placed between two others was missing.
"So the killer must've used a trophy on Johnny and a knife on Cruise and Emily!" Peter concluded. "All we need to do is to find that murder weapon. And we have our killer."
"Everyone, huddle up." Randy said.
Everyone huddled with their backs together.
"Anyone who leaves this pack will be the killer." Randy added.
"Got it." Everyone said.
Everyone waddled to the stairs.
"Oh boy, we have a problem." Stan said.
Everyone lifted Timmy and Jimmy up since they couldn't climb the stairs.
"Okay, we got to search each and one of these rooms. We'll start with mine." Peter said.
Everyone searched Peter's room. They found nothing but personal belongings. The group then checked Stan's room. Everyone looked around, they checked in the personal bathroom, the drawers, under Randy and Sharon's bed, Shelly's sleeping bag, Stan's sleep-
"You guys..." Peter said, showing a bloodied trophy.
Everyone screamed.
"Well, well, Stan." Cartman said. "Looks like your plan to kill Cruise and get away with it was a bust."
"That doesn't prove anything! Sarah could've planted it there!" Stan exclaimed.
"Well, I guess that is possible." Gerald said.
A drop of blood came from the Unicorn's nose.
"Damnit, is my nose bleeding?" He said.
"No you don't." Peter said.
Everyone looked up. Blood was dripping from the ceiling, when Peter opened it, a dead Sarah dropped out of it. She was stabbed in the chest with the same knife as Emily and Cruise. Everyone screamed in horror. Cartman pinned Stan to the ground.
"You're going to jail, Stan!" He said.
THE NEXT MORNING...
The police arrived to take Stan away. The builders were the middle of repairing the stone bridge. Everyone was packing their bags. Wendy walked up to the maid.
"What's going to happen to the manor now that Cruise and Sarah are dead?" She asked.
"I don't know. Maybe I could take it over..." The maid said.
Wendy had her eyes widen in shock.
"Maybe I should go..." Wendy awkwardly said. "I want to talk with Stan and tell him how much I forgive him even if he murdered Cruise."
"Oh, I don't think so." The maid said.
The door leading outside was locked. The maid took out a handgun and pointed it at Wendy.
"Oh my god, you're the killer!" Wendy gasped. "But why?"
"It's simple. Cruise wasn't a jerk to me. But he ditched me when I was in a relationship with him. At the same time I heard that Stan has called him a fudge packer. Using my knowledge, I could get Cruise killed, Stan goes to jail, and I'm free. But those other people who were killed got in my way. First the woman got in the way of the gunshot. So when the lights cut out, I took a knife and stabbed him with it. When I got separated with my partner, I ran back to the dining hall and took the knife. At that point, Sarah caught me in the act. So I killed her and placed the body in Stan's room. Then when I went to place the knife in Stan's sleeping bag, Emily caught me in the act. So I had to kill her too. I was able to wipe off the fingerprints and rejoin everyone. When Johnny was going to call the cops, I snuck away from the argument and whacked him over the edge."
"But what happened to that women's body?" Wendy asked.
"That, I don't know." The maid said.
What actually happened to that women was that Sarah was so disgusted by that body that she hid it under the stairs. The cops found it later.
"I was originally going to the plant the gun that was going to shoot Cruise in Stan's bag, but of course, I had to use the trophy. And the rest was thanks to you."
"Oh my god, you're a monster!" Wendy exclaimed.
"And now that you know everything, I have to kill you too." The maid said.
The maid escorted Wendy away from the people. She took her to the protruding cliffside.
"Goodbye Wendy." The maid taunted.
"I won't tell anyone, I promise!" Wendy cried.
"That's right, you won't." The maid said. "Sweet dreams, Wendy."
The maid pulled the trigger.
BLAM!
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Wendy looked down on herself. There was no gunshot. The maid was shot instead. The maid fell over the cliffside.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The maid screamed as she plummeted to her doom.
Wendy looked around on who shot the maid.
"Hello? Anyone there?"
There was nothing.
"Whoever you are, thank you." Wendy said.
Wendy left to rejoin the others. The smoking barrel of a sniper rifle was shown. It was fired when the maid was just about to pull the trigger. It zoomed further to the assailant, revealing to be the Unicorn.
"I knew it that bitch." The Unicorn stated.
THE END.
Phew. That was a long one. Make a review on this one if you like it. It would mean so much to me.