Varian may not remember anything, but he wasn't an idiot. He knew that something was wrong. Adira kept on shooting him concerned looks when she thought he wasn't looking. Horace seemed like he couldn't decide if he wanted to never leave Varian's side, or avoid him completely.

Then there was Lance. The man was an enigma. He spent as much time around Varian as he allowed, but he didn't push his boundaries. If Varian didn't want him around, then Lance would give him at least a little space before joining his side again. Varian was slowly letting himself warm up to Lance, and a big reason why he was doing so was because Lance let him set the pace.

The man didn't expect Varian to be anything more than he was. He didn't think that Varian was too much of a nerd, or that he spent too much or not enough time training. Lance didn't even talk to Varian like he expected him to have his memories back, like Rapunzel did, or that he was a fragile little mess of a person just because he didn't have his memories, like Horace and Adira tried to hide that they did. Lance just let Varian be who he was, and that was very comforting, even if it was a little weird coming from someone who was practically a stranger.

Varian hadn't meant to spend a lot of time around Lance, it just kinda happened. Varian spent most of his time reading the Demanitus journals trying to translate them just enough to find the cure for his little memory problem. When Varian studied he liked to have company, somebody to bounce ideas off of, but sometimes when he tried to do it with Horace the prince would ask about the simplest of concepts, and Varian had to waste his time trying to explain basic things.

Lance was the perfect audience. He would sit close to Varian, doing his own thing, and whenever the boy asked a question outloud to himself Lance would listen attentively and not say anything to derail Varian's thoughts. Lance knew that Varian wasn't really asking for his opinion, he was just talking outloud. He understood, and he cooperated, and it made Varian's work go a lot smoother than it usually did.

Lance also made sure that Varian ate, but he didn't force him to leave his work. Lance would bring food to Varian and just leave it at his side, letting the boy eat it at his own pace. Sometimes if Varian got so involved with his work that he completely forgot about eating Lance would remind him, but that was all he did.

Lance's behavior was one of the things that convinced Varian that they really did know each other. Lance almost seemed to know what Varian's personal needs were more than anybody else, except maybe his dad.. He seemed to know more than Horace sometimes did, which was unnerving.

The other reason why Varian trusted Lance was because Ruddiger seemed to adore him. Varian understood why he couldn't be around the raccoon, though he didn't like it. He thought that Adira or Horace would keep an eye on him, but Ruddiger almost seemed scared of him, and nobody would tell him why. The only one that Ruddiger felt comfortable around was Lance, and occasionally Rapunzel.

Varian kinda liked Lance, but there was one thing holding him back from trusting him completely. Lance and Horace didn't get along with each other at all. Lance was always ready to accuse Horace of one thing or another, and everybody was acting like this was normal for the two of them.

Why would Horace say that Lance was their friend if they didn't seem to like each other at all? If they were friends, Lance wouldn't be blaming Horace for Varian's memory loss

"Hey, kid." Lance greeted him. "I made breakfast." He was holding a ham and egg sandwich. Varian didn't realize how hungry he was until he smelled the sandwich.

"Just in time." Varian gathered his notes, making some space for Lance across from him. "I think I figured something out." It had taken several days just for a relatively simple translation, but Varian wanted to be sure. Besides, his work was frequently interrupted with the need to sleep, eat, train, and just take a break when he was getting overwhelmed. If Varian really pushed himself he probably could have finished it sooner, but as far as he could tell there wasn't really any time constraints or urgency. He could take his time.

Varian knew that the others felt differently. They wanted him to have his memory back as soon as possible, but he wasn't so sure if that was what he wanted. Because Varian couldn't remember things he had no idea what he was missing, so he wasn't upset the way that the others were about whatever had happened since they had left home.

In fact, seeing everybody else and the careful way that they interacted with each other, Varian wasn't sure if he wanted to remember things. He was content now, and contentness was better than the misery that everybody else was dealing with.

Still, Varian was doing what he could to find the cure or antidote, or whatever it was, because it was what Horace wanted. Horace was Varian's prince, friend, and brother. Varian knew that his dad and Horace had been trying to encourage him to not sacrifice his own desires for the prince's sake, but the boy figured that if Horace wanted something that Varian felt neutral about, well, what was the harm in doing it for him?

Lance smiled and settled himself on the ground, pulling out his sewing project. Even though he was working on something else Varian knew that he had his attention. "You made a breakthrough, huh?"

"Yeah, check this out." Varian put his notes on the ground, making them visible for Lance. "Okay, so I think I found a cure."

Lance's eyes visibly brightened excitedly, but he contained his enthusiasm. "Yeah? Show me what you got, kid."

"It took a bit to figure out." Varian said. "There are a lot of ingredients, and a bunch of them are called different things now than they were in Demanitus' time, but with some research I think I found what we need." Varian showed Lance his notebook with the long list of ingredients, as well as small comments.

"That, uh, that really is a lot." Lance said. He sounded concerned and more than a little overwhelmed.

"Don't worry." Varian snorted slightly in amusement. "It's a relatively simple cure."

"Simple?" Horace came up behind Lance, ignoring his scathing glare, and looked at the list. "There's gotta be fifty ingredients."

"Fifty-five." Varian corrected. "Like I said, it's a lot of ingredients, but most of them are simple local flora, and the rest of them are things we can easily buy in any town. So, yeah, I'd say this is a simple cure. I'd rather deal with something like this than something that has just two ingredients, but they're only grown halfway across the world and have to be picked under the light of a blood moon on the spring equinox."

Horace looked stunned at Varian's response. Lance just laughed, though whether he was amused by Varian's answer or Eugene's bemusement, it was hard to say.

"Alright, so we start searching for these things. How long do you think it'll take? A few hours? A few weeks?" Lance turned Varian's notebook upside down, as though that would give him the answer he was looking for. Varian snatched his book back.

"Well, theoretically if we stop and devote all of our time and focus on the search we should be able to gather and prepare everything by sundown." Varian said. He shifted slightly, unsure about whether he should continue. Horace seemed oblivious to Varian's slight discomfort. He was too relieved about the possibility of Varian getting his memories back. Lance on the other hand gave Varian a concerned look.

"What's going on, kid?" Lance asked.

"Well, I just…" Varian tapped his fingers on the spine of his book. "I just thought that maybe we could, I don't know, put off the search a little bit and just look for the ingredients while we're on the road."

Horace and Lance both gave Varian wide-eyed concerned looks, though Horace's was more panicked and Lance's was a little heartbroken and full of pity.

"Varian, getting your memories back is important." Horace said sternly, very nearly raising his voice. He didn't sound angry, just passionate, confused, and just a little bit disappointed. Varian flinched ever so slightly, and was confused when Horace didn't send him a concerned and apologetic look, but Lance did.

Horace knew how much Varian was bothered by disappointing people. It hurt. It hurt so much. Horace would always keep a close eye on Varian, providing comfort and reassurance whenever he would start to get discouraged. Horace was always so careful to not let Varian know that he was disappointed, and immediately apologized if he let something slip.

And yet now Horace was completely oblivious to the pang of hurt that Varian felt, and that was fine, really it was, it was just really weird. Varian was more bothered by the fact that he felt like there was something more to this, because this was far from the first time lately that Horace had shown his disappointment. Horace seemed to be full of disappointment, maybe of Varian, maybe of something else, and he didn't like it.

But it wasn't just Horace's obliviousness that was bothering Varian, but the way that Lance noticed him the way that Horace used to. Varian knew that he'd forgotten some important things, but how could he have forgotten completely about somebody who seemed to know him so well?

Varian sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I know, I know, and I'm all for getting my memories back, I'm just saying that I…I want to go home, and if we stop to look for the ingredients then it'll actually take more time."

Horace grimaced. "Alright, alright, I hear you. I'll go talk to Adira and see what she thinks. Why don't you make copies of that shopping list of yours so we can all know what we're looking out for?"

Varian gave Horace a small smile, glad to be given a task to do by his prince. It didn't matter how small the task was, Varian liked it when Horace asked him to do something. It made him feel like he was doing something, that his job mattered.

Varian got to work, devoting his full attention to copying the list. It took him a few minutes to notice that Lance was staring at him.

"What?" Varian asked sharply. Lance didn't seem offended or intimidated, or even irritated.

"You don't really want to get your memories back, do you?" Lance asked. His tone wasn't accusing, or hurt, it was just curious. Varian wanted to be angry and defensive, but hearing Lance's calm tone his shoulders drooped as the tension fled out of him. Varian folded in on himself.

"I don't know." He said honestly.

Lance gestured for Varian to continue on, turning his attention back to his sewing. He was acting like this was any other conversation, and that made it a lot easier to open up. Lance may basically be a stranger to Varian, but he was a stranger that he couldn't help but feel safe around.

"I-I want my memories back. Really I do." Varian said, and he meant it. "Knowledge is power. The more I know the better I can combat any challenges in front of me."

"But…" Lance raised an eyebrow at him.

Varian sighed. "But things are really weird right now. Horace is acting like if he does anything wrong then I'll break. Adira will barely talk to me, and she seems mad at Horace. I know that something happened, and it must've been really bad to make them act like this. And I don't think that Horace would ever hurt me, but you're convinced that he's responsible for this, and Adira seems to think the same thing, and she wouldn't think something so bad about Horace for no reason."

Varian wrapped his arms around himself and pulled his knees close to a chest. "I'm just kinda scared. I trust Horace, and I'm terrified that when I get my memories back I'll just remember something really bad, and then I'll hate Horace like you do, and I don't want that." Varian sniffled and buried his head in his knees. "Everybody's acting like I'm hurt or broken, and if I get my memories back then I'll just feel that pain, and I don't want to."

Lance was quiet for a minute before Varian heard him come closer. "Can I give you a hug? Or I can go get Adira or Horace." He was quiet for a minute. "If you're not comfortable with that either I can go get Ruddiger from Rapunzel."

Varian blinked back tears and lifted his head just enough to peek at Lance, who was watching him in concern. "I-I thought it was dangerous for me to be around Ruddiger."

"It is." Lance admitted. "But Zhan Tiri mostly talked to you in your dreams, so as long as you don't go to sleep and tell us if you hear a weird demon voice talking to you, I think we can afford to have you cuddle with your raccoon for just a few minutes."

Varian thought about it carefully for a long moment. The smart thing to do would be to refuse the offer. If Ruddiger was really possessed by a demon, and there could be trouble if Varian was exposed to that, then taking the chance wouldn't be worth it just because Varian really needed a friend right now. But he didn't want to be alone either, and he didn't feel like he could talk to Adira or Horace about this, and if he went to them for comfort then he'd have to talk to them, or else they might blame Lance for making him cry. Everybody was already fighting, and Varian didn't want them to start fighting over him.

"Please?" Varian hated the way that his voice cracked as he spoke. Lance gave him a small smile and stood up.

"I'll be right back with Ruddiger." Lance said. "We'll have to make sure we don't get caught, and I can only give you a few minutes, but that's better than nothing, right?" Varian nodded. "Alright, this'll be our little secret." Lance walked away, leaving Varian on his own. He barely had time to let it get to his head before Lance came back, Ruddiger in his arms.

"Just let me know if you hear weird demons talking to you, or if Ruddiger's eyes start glowing." Lance said.

Varian nodded and unfolded from himself just enough to accept Ruddiger from Lance. The raccoon chattered and nuzzled against him, seeming just as happy to see Varian as he was to see him.

"I will." Varian said. "I promise."

Lance gave him a weird look, but he didn't say anything. He just stepped back to give Varian some privacy and keep an eye out for the others.

Varian immediately started to feel better now that he was holding Ruddiger. The raccoon could make anything better. Varian was content nuzzling against Ruddiger for several minutes. By the time Lance came back to get Ruddiger Varian was feeling much better. He didn't want to let him go, but he could emotionally handle it.

"I'll see if we can do this kind of thing later." Lance said. He put Ruddiger on his shoulders. "You know, kid, I was wondering something. It really doesn't sound like you want your memories back at all, but you're still looking for the cure. Why?"

"Because that's what Horace wants." Varian said. "I'm a little on the fence about the memory thing, but if he wants me to have my memory back then I guess that's what I want too."

Lance sighed and knelt on the ground to bring himself down to his level. "Varian, you know that you can't do things just because Horace, or anybody else, wants them. You need to do things for yourself."

"I-I do." Varian said.

"Kid, we both know that you don't." Lance said. "You want to make other people happy, and I love that about you, but if you don't take care of yourself then you're going to eventually snap and do something drastic." Lance looked really sad, and it made Varian feel guilty.

"You're allowed to want things." Lance said. "Maybe you can't have everything, but there's nothing wrong with wanting, and there's not even anything wrong with asking for something that you want."

Lance sighed and put a hand on Varian's knee. "Can you just tell me that you'll at least try to really look out for yourself? And I mean really looking after yourself."

"I will." Varian said. "I promise." Lance grimaced, and Varian didn't know what he did wrong.

"Don't promise." Lance said. "Just…just tell me that you'll try your best, and that's good enough for me."

"Okay, I'll try." Varian said. He didn't know why Lance didn't seem to like promises. Weren't promises good things? Varian didn't think he'd ever met anybody who hated promises.

"Alright." Lance cheered up. "Why don't you take a break from this Demanitus stuff? Take your breakfast, dip your feet in the river, and relax for a few minutes."

"Okay." Varian said. He had almost forgotten about the sandwich that Lance had brought him. "Thanks, Lance, for everything." The man grinned broadly, like Varian had just made his day. Lance nodded at Varian, gave Ruddiger a small pet, and walked away with a small skip in his step.

Varian chuckled slightly as he watched Lance go. He packed up his books and notes, bringing them back to the chest in the carriage. He didn't know if he was actually going to go to the river like Lance had suggested, as the others always got uneasy when he wasn't in sight. Instead Varian climbed on top of the carriage, nibbled on his sandwich, and pulled out a small notebook to sketch out the scenery in front of him.

Varian liked drawing, but he mostly just did it for his research. He couldn't remember the last time that he'd just drawn for the fun of it. And as much as Varian missed home, and he didn't understand why they were so far away, he really did like the scenery. It was so peaceful out here.

Starting to feel more comfortable around Lance, and having the chance to see more of the world, Varian was starting to understand why. He still wanted to go home though.