Chapter 5: EGGS AND BACON

I never felt any regret about abandoning Cassian— I was so solitarily focused on my mission of getting home. He was just one more obstacle in my way, and I was glad he was gone. When I got to the harbor, I immediately identified the human ship by the crest on their flag. They weren't from Scythia, but they would have to pass my realm to get to theirs.

I approached the boat and spoke to the captain, who immediately recognized me. "Princess Dellia," he said, taking his hat off out of respect. "I didn't expect to see you here. We transported your wares to a handful of realms a few years back. How are you?"

"I'm well enough, but I seek passage back to Scythia, I have to get back as soon as possible. Are you heading that way?"

The captain nodded. "Yes, and we can take you, it would be our honor."

"Are you leaving soon?"

"We were just doing our final inventory and then we were going to make sail." The captain looked behind me curiously. "You don't have any staff with you? Or any belongings?"

"No, not this time. It's a long story. I'll tell you at sea."

We set sail less than an hour later, and I hadn't felt such a sense of relief in my whole life. It felt even better than when Rhysand had ripped that cursed necklace off me, releasing me from Jurian. I'd been too overwhelmed then to feel truly free. But now, at sea, I did.

I was no stranger to sailing, although most of my travels around Scythia were by horse. I'd certainly sailed to the other realms in order to buy and sell more products. Although I was no fan of physically being in water, I did like the smell of the ocean and the rock of the waves on a fast sailing ship.

But my freedom lasted only a few hours. We were far out at sea by then, with no land in sight, when suddenly I saw the sea and sky turn dark— darker than any time I'd sailed before. It wasn't natural, it was as if someone had taken the sun and doused it out. Then, I saw the flap of large, black wings dash by my porthole. Shit.

Come out here, now. I heard as clear as my own thoughts in my head. Rhysand, and he sounded pissed.

With a feeling of dread, I made my way onto the deck of the ship. Rhysand landed in front of me, and then Azriel and Cassian thundered down behind him. I could see Cassian was still covered in a thin layer of dirt. He had a cutting glare, but stayed silent.

"There's about a dozen things wrong with what you did," Rhysand growled.

I threw my hands up to stop him from what I was sure was going to be very long, angry tirade. "You said I'm not a prisoner. If I'm free to make my own decisions, then let me make them."

"You have made yourself totally unavailable to help if you are out at sea for weeks going home. You're a sitting duck if Jurian wants to come and claim you out here on a ship full of humans. And you're completely removed from any ability to use your powers out here, miles away from land."

I pursed my lips. Of course I hadn't considered all that. I'd been so concerned with returning to the Mortal Realm to warn people about Jurian, all this strategy hadn't really come into consideration.

Rhysand continued, "Your sister wrote you back. I came to find you, and instead found my general buried alive." He stalked closer to me, his expression frightening, but somehow pure pride helped me hold my stance. The faerie snarled into my face, "If you ever use your powers against me or mine again, you will suffer greatly for it."

He grabbed my left arm, hard, the cursed band spinning on my wrist. "You will lose this hand if you don't follow direct orders from me or any of my friends who speak for me. We are much older than you, and we know Jurian. So in this, you will listen to us. Tell me you understand."

My face pinched from pain, I managed to utter, "I understand."

He dropped my arm, thankfully, and I rubbed the sore spot. Rhysand took a step back. "I know it's difficult for you to imagine, but we have the same ultimate goal. Stop Jurian, and end the war with as few casualties as possible. Human and fae."

Rhysand's wings extended and he gestured to Cassian. "Cassian will take you back."

"You've got to be kidding me."

But he wasn't, and Rhysand and Azriel lifted off the deck of the ship with a great flap of their membranous wings, and immediately the dark sky and sea cleared back into beautiful blue. Cassian cocked his head at me, and I saw the hint of a mischievous smirk developing on his hard, angry face.

Before I could argue, he darted forward and scooped me up, taking off into flight.

Of course I didn't want to speak to the faerie, especially knowing he was probably livid with me. But the dirt on his clothes got in my nose— and I was trying not to cough or sneeze on him— so I moved my face away from his chest.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he said, voice thick with sarcasm. "Am I getting you dirty?"

"I'm going to sneeze," I said.

Then he lurched forward and down, and I slipped almost all the way from his grasp. "Cassian!" I screeched, just one hand holding his, dangling above the vast, empty sea— a hundred feet up.

"I hear a little scare stops the urge to sneeze," he said, and although I knew he was joking, his expression seemed mean.

I quickly grasped his hand with my other, and he started to pull me back towards his chest. But then he said, "On second thought, it's really only fair if you take a little dip since you buried me."

"No, no!" I protested as he began to shake my hands free. We were so high up, the ocean would swallow me whole if I fell from this height. "I really can't swim— please, Cassian. I'm sorry!" I was gripping his hand so hard, although he was doing nothing to hold me, I still clung to him. "Please, I almost drowned as a child that's why I never learned! Please, don't do this, please!" I felt my fingers getting clammy, sliding a fraction down his hand. My heart raced faster and my breath grew more shallow. I could feel my eyes starting to water. And apparently that satisfied Cassian, because he finally pulled me back into his arms and continued to fly us towards The House of Wind again.

I didn't speak to Cassian when we landed, I just headed straight for my rooms. I felt like I couldn't catch my breath the entire flight over the ocean— which felt like an eternity. The thought of sinking below the water made me sick with panic. I sat on my bed and just tried to calm my breathing.

This is all my fault, I knew. I attacked Cassian, I tried to leave against Rhysand's wishes and without his knowledge. What a stupid idea. Of course Cassian tried to scare me a little. It felt like he'd taken it too far with the fear he'd induced in me, but I knew it was my own trauma that did the work for him. He'd meant to be mean, but not cruel.

There was a knock on my door.

"A moment, please," I called and went over to my mirror and splashed some cold water on my face. It cleared the redness from my cheeks but not the sadness from my eyes. I took another few deep breaths. Finally, I felt a fraction of myself again.

When I opened the door the handmaids were standing there. "Do you need assistance?" They asked. I waved them off.

"I'm fine."

"Rhysand wants to speak with you," Nuala said. Of course he did.

I followed them into the study, where Rysand and Azriel were talking to each other, but they quieted when I entered. Azriel's hazel eyes narrowed on me with concern, and Rhysand handed me an opened letter.

Sister,

I am sorry to hear from you under these dire circumstances. I'd like to see you the day after tomorrow. Grandfather's favorite shop, at the hour of our sister's childhood piano practice. Come alone.

Stay safe,

Vassa

Brief. Very brief, considering all I'd written to her. But now I knew why Rhysand was determined for me to come back. He'd never be able to decipher this.

"Do you know the place and time she's considering?" Azriel asked, in that cool, low voice.

"I do." When I didn't say more, Rhysand looked cross.

"Please enlighten us," Rhysand said.

I handed the letter back. "It seems she doesn't want you to come. So, why would I tell you?"

"You'll need us to winnow you into the city. Wouldn't you like us to get you close to the meeting spot?" Winnowing, I'd never heard that term before, but I knew it was that vanishing nonsense the faeries were always doing.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I can find my way anywhere in Scythia. It's my home. Just get me to The Wall and I'll get to Vassa."

Asking to go back to The Wall again, I could tell I'd vexed Rhysand. His expression darkened and I purposefully tried to think about something else, anything else. The harbor. Cassian threatening to drown me. Rhysand squeezing my arm. Anything other than the location and time Vassa was writing of— because I knew that faerie was digging around my thoughts to avoid having to negotiate with me.

Rhysand rubbed his temple. "You are fraying my last thread of patience today. Azriel, deal with her." And then he vanished, or I supposed, 'winnowed' away.

I looked at Azriel, and his usually unreadable expression seemed to be softer. "It's been a long day already," he said. "Why don't we go get something to eat?"

I knew he was trying to butter me up, so to speak, but the thought of food did make my stomach grumble remembering how delicious the eggs had been last night and this morning. "I like the sound of that," I conceded.

He didn't look surprised when I knew my way to the kitchen or when I started just asking the magic to provide me with supplies for cooking. I turned to him while my eggs cooked on the pan. "What do you do for Rhysand?" I asked to make conversation, and also because I was very curious.

"I find out things he wants to know."

He was vague, but I had a feeling I knew what that meant. "Secrets."

"They don't always have to be secrets," he said, leaning against the wall.

"Did you know I came here last night?"

Azriel nodded.

"How many eggs did I have?"

"4."

He'd been watching me. Or someone else had been. Or maybe Feyre told him.

I flipped the eggs off the pan and onto a plate, and held it out to him. "Did you want some?"

Azriel's gaze went from the plate and then back at me, and something like surprise peaked through his otherwise expressionless face. "You eat that, I'll make my own food."

I sat down and started eating while Azriel asked the kitchen for bacon. And boy, did that smelled invigorating when it was cooking.

"Do all faeries have wings?" I asked, since I could really only see Azriel's back while he cooked. Azriel and Cassian's wings were always visible, but Rhysand's seemed to appear and disappear at will. I wondered if other's had hidden wings.

"Some. Illyrians do."

"So you, Rhysand and Cassian are Illyrians?"

He nodded, and flipped the sizzling bacon. "Rhysand is half Illyrian-half High Fae, but Cassian and I are just Illyrians."

"Do you know Hyick? He had wings."

"Yes, he's Illyrian too."

"And you all knew Jurian."

His hazel eyes found mine and he nodded again. "Jurian was human once too."

"Like Feyre."

"That's right." Azriel determined the bacon was done and set it down on a plate in the middle of the table, and took the seat across from me. "You can have some too," he said as he took a piece.

It obviously went against my better judgement to take food from a faerie, but something about Azriel was just— different. He had a calm intensity, like he was focused on you and nothing else. And despite the unsettling shadows that swirled around him at all times, I felt like Azriel was the most trustworthy. Azriel struck me as the most steady in a place where I often felt off balance. So I put a piece on my plate, but didn't immediately eat it.

I saw his scarred hand while he ate, and asked, "How did that happen?"

He didn't need to look at it when he answered, "My half-brothers burned me, to see if I would heal. I did not."

My face probably displayed my shock because Azriel gave me a very small smile. "It's fine. It was a long time ago."

"I'm sorry, that's terrible. Why would they even think to do that?"

"Ilyrians have naturally fast healing, so I suppose they didn't think it would scar like it did."

I finished my eggs and debated between making more and risking eating the bacon I'd taken from Azriel. "Why are you answering all my questions?" I asked.

"I don't have anything to hide. And you deserve honesty. "

That was an answer I liked. I picked up the bacon and narrowed my eyes at Azriel, "I'm going to eat this, but if I suddenly start telling you where all the bodies are buried, I'm going to know you put a spell on it, and I'll never trust you again."

Azriel snorted from a stifled laugh. "There's no spell."

I took a bite of the bacon, and it did not disappoint. Why was faerie food so much better than human food? Damn, he had to have known this would really put me eat ease if I'd liked the eggs so much I had them for 3 straight meals.

"This is really good," I said, covering my mouth full of bacon.

He just had that soft grin, and watched me eat. "So when were you planning on asking me about this meeting with Vassa?" I asked.

Azriel's gaze didn't waver. "Whenever you feel comfortable talking about it."

I finished the bacon and had to fight the urge to reach for another. "I don't want to say if you all are just going to ambush her, or hurt her. You're not going to try and hurt her, are you?"

Azriel shook his head. "No. We just want to make sure you get to this meeting, so you can ask her for the item."

"The item you won't tell me about."

The faerie nodded. I rolled my eyes. "I don't understand the secrecy about this, but if you promise you aren't going to hurt my sister, I suppose it's fine."

"I swear it."

And when Azriel said that, I believed that he took his vow as seriously as I did.

I took a breath and started, "My grandfather's favorite shop isn't in the city— it's on the coast where he lived in Trukee Bay. And it was the carpenter." I wiped the bacon crumbs off my fingers on a napkin to look somewhere else from Azriel's intense gaze. "The carpenter is the one who saved my life when I was little, playing with my sisters on the shore. I was only in a foot of water when I got sucked out in a rip current. He swam out and got me back to shore, and he resuscitated me.

"Ever since then, my grandfather always said that he owed the carpenter everything. He would buy anything that man sold, and sell it in his stores in the city, and around the Mortal Realm. The shop is closed now, because the carpenter works in the palace of the Queen. That's probably why she picked it. So we'd be alone."

Azriel nodded. "And the time?"

I chuckled. That was a joke. "None of my sisters could tolerate the piano. We'd always flee when we knew the piano master was coming. So my parents started having the master come at dawn so that we wouldn't have a chance to run before the lessons.

"So she wants to meet at the old carpenter's shop in Trukee Bay at dawn," I stood up and asked the kitchen to take my dishes. Azriel rose as well. "You can tell Rhysand I'm sorry I was being difficult. I want to do what I can to help. And sitting across the world eating the most delicious breakfast of my life while my people are being kidnapped and killed by Jurian makes me feel incredibly guilty."

The faerie seemed empathetic. "He understands. Rhysand feels the same pressure and guilt you do to stop the suffering."