The Cats arrive at the Academy of Our Lady of Perpetual Frost. Mostly Sarah POV.
Chapter 6
When the jet finally touched down in Naples there was a limo waiting. After tearing down some winding country roads at unsafe speeds they pulled up to the gates of a grand villa that would have been picturesque if it hadn't been for the state of the art security perimeter complete with 25 yards of open lawn on both sides. Vincenzo exchanged a few words with an attendant and they soon found themselves before a cute little cottage screened off from the main building by trees and foliage.
"Wow, this is a definite step up from where I've been living the last couple years," Sarah said appreciatively.
"Quaint, but if I have to live here I'd prefer something completely modern," Carina frowned doubtfully.
"Suck it up, Red. Soaking up a little local flavor will make you a more interesting person," Zondra teased her.
Vincenzo showed them the basic amenities and told them how to schedule meals and get to the dining rooms. He also mentioned that the therapist was available if she wanted an introduction that evening. The women were pleasantly surprised by the modern amenities cleverly hidden within the rustic cottage.
After a dinner that completely lived up to Vincenzo's praises, he led Sarah to an out of the way parlor. In a comfortable chair sat an older man with bushy eyebrows and a mustache to match, reading an antique book.
"Sarah, this is the most renown therapist in Napoli. His mother named him Guido but we all call him Groucho for obvious reasons," Vincenzo said pleasantly. "Groucho, this is Sarah Walker, unjustly accused of terrorism and mentor to Charles Galois immediately prior to his arrival in Italy."
The man set his book aside and rose quickly, snaring Sarah's hand and kissing it tenderly, with a twinkle in his eye. "An honor to work with you, Signorina. Please feel free to take any chair or couch you can feel comfortable in."
Sarah chose a large stuffed chair similar to the one Groucho sat in and Vincenzo helped her pull it into a position facing his chair. Then Vincenzo excused himself and Sarah tucked her legs beside her saying, "OK, how does this work?"
"You talk about things that are bothering you and I suggest ideas that might help them become less bothersome," Groucho shrugged. "How that works depends on what you're comfortable with."
"Alright," Sarah replied. "The thing that currently bothers me the most is that I asked for and was given the trust of an innocent. Then I betrayed that trust and left that person in the hands of people who I knew would tear him apart."
"That does sound like something that would be hard to live with," Groucho acknowledged. "Do you have any idea what led you to do such a thing?"
"When I first realized the terrible danger he was in I tried to get him to run away with me. We arranged to meet at a train station. He met me there but told me he couldn't run off with me," Sarah's throat tightened at the memory.
"Did he give you a reason?" Groucho asked gently.
"He said he had an opportunity to help people and to make a real difference in the world," Sarah growled, remembering her own indoctrination lectures and how utterly laughable she found them. She remembered wondering where the Company found marks ripe enough to fall for something that thin.
"And what was your response to that?" Groucho asked.
"I told him that he was entering a world where nothing was real and that he and I had a chance to build something that was," Sarah remembered her frustration at Chuck's inability to see that.
"So far I'm not hearing any betrayal of trust," Groucho confessed.
Sarah sighed hugely, "That came later. When Chuck washed out of spy school I refused to talk to him. I had never been rejected before and it just hurt too much. He got himself attached to my team and I kept my professional distance. I watched and assisted as he was molded into a spy."
Groucho frowned, "Are you saying you consider not trying to repeat your failed intervention the second time around as a betrayal?"
Sarah shrugged, "Well, not exactly. I guess when he was deliberately put in situations where he had to shed his naturally trusting and honest nature I could have been supportive of his option to refuse but that's not what really bothers me. The betrayal was that I gave him his first kill order knowing what it would do to him and knowing that my relationship with him was being used as leverage to get him to comply. I honestly didn't think he would be able to do it. When he did, I completely turned my back on him even though he begged me to join his team. THAT is the betrayal that bothers me."
Grouch nodded thoughtfully, "I see. So you allowed your relationship with him to be used to shatter that crucial part of his innocent nature and then severed that relationship entirely when he did as you asked. Yes, that DOES sound like a serious betrayal. If you can see that now, can you remember why you acted that way at the time?"
Sarah's lip curled in distaste as she recalled, "Yes. I acted as I did because it was expected of me and because it was my professional duty as a spy."
"And when did you come to believe the last fragments of his innocence were more important than your professional duty?" Groucho asked quietly.
"Almost as soon as he completed his mission," Sarah remembered her pain that night. "My guilt was the main thing keeping me from ever wanting to see him or think of him again."
"I'm sorry to say I've seen that happen many, many times," Groucho said sadly. "Hiding from guilt allows it to fester and poison your life. Only by facing it can you hope to recover from it."
"So as bad as it feels, it means I'm completely normal?" Sarah asked. "Somehow that doesn't make me feel any better about it."
"So tell me, how might things have played out differently if you had acted in a way that would not have caused you to feel guilt?" Groucho asked quietly.
"I could have refused to give the kill order and been reprimanded," Sarah growled. "That's what I SHOULD have done."
"But you didn't honestly believe he would comply did you? Were you secure enough in your career to face a reprimand when it would have made no difference?" Groucho asked.
"I guess not," Sarah admitted grudgingly. "When I gave the order I expected that it would be the end of his career."
"And with his career over, he would be safe from pressure to kill or lie, yes?" Groucho prompted.
"I guess when you put it like that it makes sense," Sarah admitted. After thinking about it for minute she brightened, "At the time I DID think I was protecting him."
It wasn't long before the happy revelation faded and her thoughts turned to less happy memories, "But when he completed his mission and desperately needed a friend I should have been there for him. By turning my back on him I made it SO much worse."
"So can you think of any reason apart from your guilt that may have influenced your behavior?" Groucho asked.
The sat in silence while Sarah thought long and hard about that time. She finally replied, "Actually yes. My supervisor and boyfriend at the time was very supportive but when I turned toward his support I turned away from Chuck."
"Your supervisor was your boyfriend?" Groucho was surprised. "Did he become your boyfriend before or after he became your supervisor?"
"After," Sarah said absently. Her eyes widened as realization hit her, "He pursued me aggressively despite my warnings about how dangerous it was. It wasn't just dangerous, it was EXTREMELY inappropriate of him. Pursuing a relationship with a vulnerable subordinate is probably the most serious violation of trust a supervisor can make."
"So you were betrayed and manipulated yourself," Groucho concluded. "It sounds like your supervisor is the real villain in this story."
Sarah nodded as her eyes flashed with anger, "He went on to frame me for terrorism then he turned his back on me." She winced in pain before admitting, "I guess that's what really hurts. What he did to me is very similar to what I did to Chuck."
"There is one VERY important difference," Groucho noted solemnly. "Your betrayal set Charles Galois up for brilliant success. Your boyfriend's betrayal cut off all your resources and made you a hunted woman."
Sarah thought hard about that for a couple minutes. A part of her wanted to believe that what happened to her was much worse than what happened to Chuck but another part wasn't having it. She finally realized what was bothering her.
"There is another difference that weighs much more heavily on me," Sarah admitted. "Chuck was an innocent. He had very little exposure to the spy life and no cohort of fellow trainees he could compare notes with for a reality check. I was an experienced grifter before I was recruited and had been an active field agent for years. I had years of experience with every technique in the book. If I were betrayed, it could only have been because I made grave errors of judgement and deserved the harsh consequences I received."
Groucho didn't immediately have a response. After he mulled it over a bit he asked, "So the man who betrayed you, how talented a spy would you say he was?"
"He led the effort against the Company's most dangerous foe for years. I understand he became the deputy director for operations after he betrayed me. He was probably the top spy in the agency," Sarah replied.
"And how much support from the Company would you say he received in his mission to turn Chuck into the spy he became?" Groucho probed.
"I expect that the Company would have made that mission a top priority," Sarah speculated.
"So the most talented spy in the Company with unlimited support was working against your commitment to protect Chuck's innocence. Don't you think that expecting even an experienced spy to foil this effort is a bit unrealistic?" Groucho asked.
Sarah frowned and though about it. She finally replied, "I guess I can cut myself some slack over giving the order. Totally cutting off all connection afterward, though..." She shook her head sadly. "I don't care what kind of pressure I was under, that was just inhumane. I had months to think about and reconsider my decision and reach out to check on him and I never did."
Groucho had no counterargument to that. After talking about her feelings of remorse and the fact that regret was the first step on the road to recovery, their session was over.
The next morning Vincenzo took them on the promised tour of the academy. Their first stop was a very imposing room in the main building with a sign proclaiming, "Office of the Headmistress." After navigating through a room filled with busy office workers Vincenzo was able to take them to the inner sanctum.
"Headmistress Amanar, may I present our new guests, Carina Miller, Sarah Walker, and Zondra Rizzo," Vincenzo said formally. "Carina, Sarah, Zondra, this is Headmistress Marta Amanar. Before she came to us she coached gymnasts in Romania. She has been generously flexible in her application of discipline to our students but any violations of her rules require a VERY good reason. When in doubt we assume she rules with an iron fist."
The four women shook hands and took the measure of each other. "Signore tells me Miss Walker taught him everything he knows about the covert arts. I would be honored if you and your friends could find the time to review our instruction and offer suggestions," Marta suggested politely.
"We would be happy to offer our opinions," Sarah said as Carina and Zondra nodded. "But those may be less insightful than you hoped. I fear Signore was able to learn much more than I consciously attempted to teach."
"It's a relief to hear you are mere mortals," Marta laughed.
Vincenzo showed them the main reception halls and a long dimly lit room with a one way mirror running the length of one wall. Through the glass they could see there was some kind of party going on in the next room.
"This is our Deflection class," Vincenzo explained. A striking young Italian woman was observing the party and making comments into a headset, smoothly clicking between several channels. "Antonia is our instructor. There are a number of people playing the parts of guests. Some are predators and others are not. Our students are expected to gracefully fend off the advances of the predators and accept the compliments of the others."
The three women observed the party for a few minutes then began offering opinions on which guests were predators. Antonia drifted over to them and nodded or shook her head as they pointed and shared their guesses. Her face and hands were very expressive. Her instructions to the players continued unabated.
Vincenzo showed them a large ballroom being used as a dance studio, a painting studio, and a recording studio. They were amazed that how artfully the ancient house had been repurposed without destroying the original decor. He took them to an outbuilding dedicated to athletics with a full complement of weight training and cardio machines. There were several rooms for classes and a pool with a sauna and spa services. There was a class in one of the training rooms where a short, dark man was leading students through a basic kata.
"Gomez and I are the main martial arts instructors," Vincenzo explained. "I'd introduce you but he's a bit fanatical about focus and keeping distractions out of the training room."
Next they were shown the outdoor space where field sports were practiced and shown a map of the running paths around campus. A bit further out was a gun range. "Salvadore teaches firearms," Vincenzo explained as he introduced a very serious young man. "His knowledge of weapons is encyclopedic."
"I've heard of some of the field operations your team was involved in," Salvadore said. "I would very grateful if any of you could find time to evaluate our firearms course."
Carina and Zondra looked at Sarah. She laughed. "Alright, I'm the biggest gun nut on the team. What time tomorrow would work for you?"
"10 AM would be perfect," Salavadore replied. He was clearly delighted.
The final stop on their tour was the equestrian center. "So THIS is where all the men hang out," Carina said, noting a much more significant contingent of males than they had seen elsewhere on campus.
"Our riding trails are outside the perimeter so students are required to have escorts. Signore's unconventional approach to student security makes this more difficult than you might expect," Vincenzo laughed. "Students often attempt to elude their escorts. The large building near the gate is our infirmary. Riding accidents are easily the greatest cause of student injuries."
Over a long lunch. The three women discussed their plan of attack.
"I really like working with Groucho," Sarah said. "I've just had one session but I'm already feeling good about therapy."
"Next item on the agenda has to be clearing your name," Carina said firmly. "With Shaw out of the picture, we shouldn't have to worry about active efforts keep his record clean."
"Don't be too sure of that," Zondra replied doubtfully. "There were plenty of people who vetted him on his way to the deputy directorship. None of them will look good if Shaw is exposed."
"Hmmm, good point," Carina admitted. "I can work the Gentle Hand angle. If I can build a case that she was never part of them, we may be able to get some analysts to start looking for the group that was ACTUALLY behind the attack. That way we can start accumulating evidence without immediately tipping off anyone that Shaw is our target."
"Good idea," Sarah nodded approvingly. "In the meantime I can sound out members of our old anti-Ring task force and see if any might be willing to help."
"If you give me a list, I can use my contacts to find out what they've been up to since the incident. That way we can determine which are least likely to be invested in Shaw's reputation," Zondra added.
"Sounds like a plan!" Carina was enthusiastic. Then she deflated, "Problem is I'll have to go back to my day job if I want to do this right. I'll be a lot more effective with boots on the ground."
"Awwww, you're gonna miss your boy toy," Zondra teased her.
"Damn right I will," Carina muttered darkly. "I wish knew a way to lure him away from his precious Signore."
"Careful girl, you don't want to break the golden rule and fall in love," Sarah laughed.
"Good point, wouldn't want to lose my edge," Carina admitted reluctantly.
Later that evening Groucho asked her, "So tell me. Who IS Sarah Walker?"
"Above everything I'm a spy," Sarah replied immediately.
"And who do you spy for?" Groucho pressed.
"Good question," Sarah admitted. "I've been burned by my country but I still feel some loyalty to them. I couldn't see myself swearing loyalty to another nation at this point."
"So no national intelligence agencies. I understand you were working private security before you came here?" Groucho prompted.
"Yeah, for a Chinese family out of Singapore. Their business was mostly legal," Sarah said with half smile.
"Try to set aside your immediate situation of being wanted for terrorism. In your mind's eye, if your career had continued as you had planned, what would you be doing right now?" Groucho wondered.
Sarah closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before answering, "I was second in command to the man who became the Deputy Director for Operations so I imagine I would be a handler or some kind of junior spymaster rather than a field operative."
"Good!" Groucho said enthusiastically. "When you think of yourself, don't see yourself as fugitive, think of yourself as a spymaster navigating through difficult circumstances."
Sarah had to admit, that DID make her situation seem less hopeless. She spent the rest of the session talking about the positive steps she was taking to fix her situation and the formidable support she had helping her. She did spend some time revisiting her regrets about turning her back on Chuck but Groucho got her to admit that he was a grown man who had managed a measure of success without her. He also got her to accept the wisdom of letting HIM manage the intense pain he felt when he saw her instead of taking full responsibility for it. She was definitely not ready to face him again but she DID at least feel that she might be able to do it some day.