Sarah endures her GMSP interview.

Chapter 16

As Sarah finished her meal with Chuck, she realized she was definitely of two minds. On the one hand, she was eager for her interview and happy she wouldn't have to wait. On the other, she expected to have a couple days of relaxation and reflection to prepare for it.

"How should I prepare for my interview tomorrow?" Sarah asked Chuck uncertainly.

"Just try to relax and clear your head. Maybe think about what you want your future to look like," Chuck suggested.

"Gee thanks for that crucial insider info," Sarah replied sarcastically. "Could you be any more vague?"

"Well, I COULD get all mysterious and tell you the interview is a sacred ceremony and that we all swear a blood oath never to reveal its secrets. Perhaps I might let slip that nine out of ten candidates fail and three out of ten die in the attempt," Chuck said in a deep bass voice dripping with menace. "But actually it's just a bunch of extraordinary people trying to get some idea of what it would be like to work with you," he continued in a normal tone. "I think you're awesome and so does Antonia so I don't expect you'll have much trouble convincing the others."

Sarah tried to feel the reassurance Chuck was trying to give her but she could not.

"I just can't help feeling they're going to surprise me with questions I don't have good answers for," she admitted.

"Oh they'll definitely do their best to do that," Chuck admitted easily. "I mean, wouldn't YOU try to dig deep if it were someone you might have to trust with your life at some point?"

"Arrrghh!" Sarah growled, gritting her teeth. She did a long, controlled exhale before adding, "On second thought, thanks for being straight with me instead of blowing smoke to calm me down."

When they got back to the suite, Chuck set up his massage table, lit some candles, and put on soft music. He had Sarah sniff several scented oils and pick the one that she found the most soothing. Then she stripped down and let him go to work. Sarah had heard about Chuck's legendary massages but words did not prepare her for the depth of the physical experience. Chuck included some very intimate caresses but those were just enough to make her tingle deliciously, not enough to light her fire. She found herself humming a tune about 'Chuck the Magic Dragon' and visualized Sam riding perched on the back of a massive, feathered dragon with Chuck's features. Sarah felt her body soaring effortlessly as she gazed at a vast landscape of possibility spread out before her.

Completely relaxed, she opened her eyes and met Chuck's gaze. As they each stared into the depths of the other, Sarah felt a shiver run down her spine. She wrapped herself around him and slid to a standing position. Slowly she relieved him of his clothes and guided him onto the table. Although her touch was less practiced, her fascination with every muscle in his body was endless. Her intimate caresses lingered longer than his had and she found herself mounting him to meet the fire she had kindled. Their lovemaking was almost painfully slow and she giggled in triumph as she coaxed him to peak before she did. His fingers meandered in and out of her secondary erogenous zones as if he had all the time in the world until a low growl spontaneously formed in the back of her throat and she guided Chuck's hands to the places that could no longer bear to be ignored. Chuck continued to to tease her just short of frustration and to her credit, Sarah resisted the temptation to push herself over the edge. When she finally did fall it happened in slow motion and she rode the sensation for longer than she imagined possible.

Sarah managed JUST enough muscle tone afterward to rinse off the oil in a warm spray before collapsing bonelessly into bed. Her dreams were filled with surprise and wonder.

The next morning they slept in to enjoy a nice long cuddle. They went for a run before lunch and Sarah could feel the excitement building in her body but as a distant thing rather than the mission ready bowstring tight anticipation she was more familiar with. As she entered Antonia's office she made a decision. She would set aside the tight control Sarah usually exerted when she was tested and give Sam a chance to shine.

"Just relax and be yourself," Antonia assured her before she left the room.

Sarah adjusted the camera slightly and pronounced herself ready. She watched the terminal for her questions.

"What non-spy skills would you bring to GMSP?"

"Before I was a spy, I grifted with my father but that's pretty close to a spy skill so I'm not sure it counts. I've worked security and been a gang member but the skills I needed for those were also in the same wheelhouse. I guess all my real skills ARE spy related."

"What would be the first intersect skill you would wish acquire and why?"

"Probably marksmanship. I'm pretty good now but I wish I could be truly amazing. I'd want that because firearms are my primary tool of choice for offense and defense."

"Who is in your family and what is your relationship with each of them?"

"My father is still a grifter. I still love him but I don't trust him and although I'd help him if I could, I'd also arrest him if necessary. My mother and sister are hidden and I'd like them to stay that way for their own protection. I love them but have no plans to ever see either of them again. Charles Galois is my home. I'd do anything for him and will always want to return to him if we should ever get separated."

"Why do you feel loyalty to Carina Miller and Zondra Rizzo?"

"I've worked with them and I've learned to care about them. Although we're no longer officially on the same team they've both taken serious risks for me and I'd want to return the favor if they needed me."

"Why did Antonia sponsor you?"

"She has been Charles' protector and in order to protect him from me she used the Intersect 3.0 to interrogate me to make sure she and I were both certain of my intentions. In the course of this interrogation she learned a lot of things about me. I assume something she learned prompted her to sponsor me. Whether that's because I'd be an asset to GMSP or because she has another agenda is something you'd have to ask her."

"What is your relationship with Charles?"

"Chuck is my home. He freed me from a lot of personal baggage that had been dragging me down and I have no secrets from him. He loves me and I love him more than I ever dreamed myself capable of loving."

"How do you feel about the CIA?"

"The CIA finished raising me and I still have fond memories of the things I learned there and some of the people I worked with. As an institution, I've come to see it as a destructive force and a danger to humanity."

"How do you feel about the USA?"

"I am a citizen of the USA and feel loyalty to the principles it was founded on. The US government has falsely declared me a terrorist so clearly it's not an institution I'm on friendly terms with. If they cleared my name tomorrow, I'd still view the US government with suspicion."

"In your opinion, what crimes merit the death penalty?"

"I've been party to a lot of government sanctioned killing but none of it was specifically in punishment for the crimes of those killed. Having seen how easy is for corrupt people in authority to order killing, I can't say I'd ever be comfortable giving any official institution the authority to kill if it's possible to eliminate future threats in some other way."

"What is the evolutionary utility of the female orgasm in humans?"

"Hmmm, that's not something I've ever really thought about. An evolutionary reason? In my experience, sexual interest from male humans ranges from annoying to disgusting. Without the carrot of orgasm, perhaps that kind of attention would be unpleasant enough for females to refuse to cohabitate with males? Maybe social cohesion is the evolutionary reason."

"What is your proudest achievement and greatest regret?"

"My proudest achievement is keeping Chuck safe for two years. My greatest regret is turning my back on him afterwards."

"If you were a single celled organism, what kind would you be and why?"

"I don't know a lot of single celled organisms but of those few I do know I'd be an amoeba because it's a deadly shapeshifter."

"What is the sound of one hand clapping?"

"That's a really off the wall question. If it's actually clapping, I would guess that it's a series of sharp explosive sounds. I'm not sure how it compares to other clapping sounds because I've never heard it."

"Explain your relationship with Stephen LaBarge."

"He pretended to be a geeky analyst eager for my approval. He fooled me completely, probably because I was trying to forget how much I missed another geek so I didn't look too closely. He later pretended to help me clear my name and again I was completely fooled, maybe because I wanted desperately not to be in need of Chuck's protection. I did sense something was off but before I took the time to look closely, he sprung his trap and I was his prisoner."

"What did you learn while working for Daniel Shaw?"

"I learned that all my spy skills can be rendered worthless if I'm afraid to face my emotions. I learned that when I take myself seriously and try to act like a grown up, I make myself a pathetic pawn in someone else's game. I learned that I have monumental daddy issues that will get me killed if I don't learn to deal with them."

"Explain your relationship with Langston Graham."

"Graham recruited me to the CIA and I remained his protege until his death. Over the course of my career loyalty to him gained me a reputation as his enforcer. Looking back now I can see how he took advantage of my vulnerability after he had my father arrested. He played my daddy issues so well that despite everything I still can't hate the man. If he were to miraculously return, I'd avoid him like the plague because I still have some of those vulnerabilities."

"What makes you think you deserve to be with Charles?"

"I certainly don't think I'm with Chuck because I DESERVE to be. Every day I'm with him is a gift. All I can do to express my gratitude for that gift is to be the best partner and best person I can be. If my luck fails and I'm separated from him I'll always carry a reflection of him in my heart. While it holds I intend to make the most of it."

"How do your daddy issues affect your relationship with Charles?"

"That's a good question. When I first met Chuck I was his protector rather than the other way around so they didn't come into play. Since I recently came back into his life I think I may have tried to distance myself from him for fear of making him another surrogate father. We certainly have the kind of power imbalance that makes that a danger. At this moment he feels like more of a playmate than an authority figure. I'll need to stay in therapy because I've been skilled enough at fooling myself in the past that it's safe to say I'll be the last to see it when I DO start treating him as a surrogate father."

Sarah stared at the blinking cursor for a while before she saw the words, "End of interview, thank you for your time." She got up, a bit unsteadily, and Antonia escorted her from her office. She followed her mentor to a small reception room where she made herself a cup of coffee.

"So what happens now?" Sarah asked nervously.

"We give everyone twenty four hours to make up their minds and vote yes, no, abstain or veto. Vetoes are strictly for candidates a member deems too dangerous to train. Two of them are enough to get a candidate rejected. If that doesn't happen, it's a simple majority of yes vs no with Charles breaking any ties," Antonia explained.

"Any guess on my chances of being accepted?" Sarah wondered hopefully.

"I'd say your odds are definitely better than even, despite your checkered past," Antonia replied with cautious optimism.

"You think they'd hold my childhood as a grifter against me?" Sarah was surprised.

"No that's actually a point in your favor. They WILL, however, hold your career in the CIA against you," Antonia explained severely.

"I guess it WILL take some adjustment to remember I'm not officially sanctioned," Sarah acknowledged thoughtfully. "Not giving much thought to the wider repercussions of my actions IS a really bad habit I'll have to break either way."

"We'll make a morally mature woman out of you yet," Antonia agreed with a smile.

Sarah called Zondra and was happy to find she had some free time. They decided to meet at the gun range.

"You're looking less relaxed than the last time I saw you," Zondra noted. "Trouble in paradise?"

"Nothing like that," Sarah shook her head. "I've officially interviewed for a position with Galois Media Special Projects and I'm waiting for the verdict."

"Walker's going big? I should have guessed," Zondra smiled. "Well I hope they have the sense to snap you up. After the way LaBarge did us, it would serve the CIA right to have a technologically enhanced badass like you itching for payback."

"No Company loyalty then?" Sarah looked sideways at her friend.

"My loyalty to the Company was never as strong as yours," Zondra shrugged. "They played me, bagged me and disappeared me so they're bad guys in my book. If they clean house and get new management they'll still have some atoning to do before I'd even consider working for them again."

The women spent some time giving their trigger fingers a workout before taking a break.

"There is one thing that came up in my interview I'd like your help with," Sarah said hesitantly. "I've got some serious daddy issues and I'm worried I'll start putting Chuck into the daddy zone at some point. If you see any warning signs, can I count on you to point them out?"

"Sarah Walker turning into daddy's little girl?" Zondra frowned. "I don't see that happening."

"It happened with Langston Graham. It was a big part of my dynamic with Daniel Shaw too," Sarah noted, shaking her head. "Look at everything Chuck's built here. If I'm accepted into GMSP and work hard at it, how much of that is Sam trying to earn daddy's approval?"

Zondra thought about it while she field stripped a new pistol.

"Yeah, I guess I CAN see your problem," Zondra nodded slowly. "If you go in kicking ass and taking names like the Walker I know, the rest of them will just see you as 'Daddy's Li'l Monster' and who's to say they're wrong?"

"I need to make sure the standards I'm trying to live up to are my own," Sarah agreed. "It's not going to be easy because I know damn well I'm going to drift toward trying to please Chuck. If you can help keep me accountable I'd really appreciate it."

"You got it, girl," Zondra confirmed decisively. "I'll get right on that by asking whether you applied to be part of GMSP because YOU want to or because you think Charles wants you to."

Sarah took a while to think about that. She had to admit she wouldn't care half as much about whether she got in if it wasn't the difference between sharing ALL of Chuck's life or just part of it. Having it all was very important to her, she realized. But was that just because she wanted Chuck's approval? She knew he wanted her in, but there might be things he didn't want to share with her. She had every intention of breaking every barrier between them whether he liked it or not. It really WAS mostly about what she wanted. She wanted Chuck but she wasn't going to let him tell her what her role in his life was going to be.

"OK I want to be part of GMSP to get closer to Chuck but I'm not doing it because he wants me to. I'm doing it because after being separated for him for so long I'm hungry as hell and haven't anything close to my fill. I don't really think he's got some kinky fantasy about being devoured by a ravenous she-wolf. Joining GMSP is about filling momma's belly, not being daddy's li'l monster," Sarah said with confidence.

"OK, you've convinced me. May God have mercy on Charles," Zondra laughed. "I wouldn't want anything less for you. Just keep your Chuck pleasing impulses in the bedroom where they belong," she added with a smirk.

"Speaking of that, last night I got my first taste of the full Charles Galois massage experience WITHOUT sexual foreplay," Sarah said with a dreamy smile. "I'm thinking we should try to find a standing weekly time to get you some of that. It was better than any spa treatment I ever heard of."

"I've got to admit, I could really get into that," Zondra affirmed. "The only problem is that I haven't found a boy toy in this nunnery and I'm afraid that kind of thing could bring my sexual frustration to a boiling point."

"So you're telling me none of your sparring sessions with Gomez go the same way as sparring with Chuck?" Sarah teased.

"I still can NOT wrap my head around the fact that you're OK with Charles laying his hands on me knowing what we've done in the past," Zondra said, full of wonder. "And for the record, no, I've never been tempted to do the nasty with Gomez. I'm too busy trying to earn the little fucker's respect to think about what he might be like between the sheets."

"During my massage last night I was picturing him as 'Chuck the Magic Dragon.' He's like the geek I knew and loved transformed into a mythological creature. What kind of airhead would think she could claim ownership over something she doesn't even understand?" Sarah shook her head. "I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but I'm smart enough to know it's gonna take everything I have to hang on to whatever connection I have with the man through the storms the world sends to beat him down. I can't afford to waste time or effort worrying about connections he may have with other women."

"It's weird but I think I know what you mean," Zondra nodded, deep in thought. "When I try to imagine what it would be like to be his main squeeze it scares the shit out of me. That's probably why I'm only a little jealous. At the sanctuary I watched a few sips of Charles transform more than one woman in ways that changed their lives. You're drinking from the fire hose. The changes you've gone through in one week of being his woman are enormous. God only knows what you'll be like in a month, let alone a year."

"I'm boldly going where no woman has gone before. Death or glory!" Sarah said with wild grin.

"Now THAT is the Walker I know and love," Zondra laughed.

They tore up a few more targets before deciding they had enough for the day. They shared a light supper and Zondra kept Sarah distracted by sharing the crazier pieces of the Galois legend she had heard. They were lingering over coffee when Sarah's phone chirped out the new message tone. Sarah took a deep breath and read.

"You're in. Be at my office at 9am tomorrow for orientation. - Antonia"