Chapter 2
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February 24th
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Marissa: So, let's begin this day. Less than six months before my death. At the time, I had no way of knowing this, I had no desire to commit suicide. I had the typical frustrations of any teenager, particularly with highschool graduation in just four months. But I planned to go to college, had no particular desire to die, yet. I was feeling a bit nauseous this morning, but not enough to stay home sick. Let's meet some of the other players of our story. The woman in her early 40s making breakfast is my mother, Kelly. The 14 year old at the table is my little sister, Bridget. No father in the picture, he's gone. Mom says he died, I have my doubts. In any event, I haven't seen him since just after Bridget was born, barely remember him. Like any family we had our disagreements, but we loved each other. This is a typical breakfast scene, let's just cut to my day at school.
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This is my highschool. A lot of us had mixed emotions on this Friday. Friday's were typically when we had to take tests, so most of us were nervous about those. But once all of that was over, the weekend began. Ofcourse, the weekend was better for freshman and sophmores. Juniors and seniors like me had gotten part time jobs, in my case working at a movie theatre, which typically included working Friday nights, as well as a good portion of Saturday and Sunday. My mother had money, but said it was important to learn responsibility, maybe she was right. That handsome young man I'm kissing here is my boyfriend, Alex. That young woman hanging out with us is my friend Megean. We all graduate in June, not really sure if we'll drift apart after. Megean has been singing that old song, typically just called "the Graduation Song." It's an oldie but a goodie. We took our tests and left school at the end of the day.
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I had to work that night at the theatre. Sweeping up popcorn, tearing tickets. It's sort of a catch-22 that most teenagers learn for themselves. You hate your job, buy you want the money that you get paid for doing it. You can either have money, and less free time to enjoy it, or no money and all the free time you want to lay around. I remember when the school brought in these people to talk to us about the job market, how to present ourselves in job interviews and things like that. I remember they gave one great piece of advice. "You're first job will be an adjustment. You'll probably think about quitting. Ask yourselves two questions before you quit. 1: Do I have any reason to think that another job would be any more pleasant than this? 2: Do I have reason to think that getting a different job might mean a pay cut, or at least loss of income while searching for a new job? If you can get another job immediately, where your best friend is your supervisor, and for much more money, than yeah you should do that. But, if the answer to the first question is "No" and/or the answer to the second question is "Yes" think twice before quitting." They were right, I had no reason to think that flipping burgers or working as a supermarket cashier would be any more pleasant than working at a movie theatre. As unpleasant as my immediate boss, Al, is, it still didn't make me want to blow my brains out on the beach. By this point in the night mu nausea had returned, and I had to run to the bathroom. I cleaned myself up and returned to work, worried that Al would be angry that I wasn't cleaning theatre number 7 right as the movie ended. But a thought occured to me, one that greatly frightened me. I had been feeling nauseous the last few days. Alex and I were sexually active. We were careful, but no protection was 100%. I was suddenly very worried that I might be pregnant.