Disclaimer: Don't own the og characters. (Do you have to write this disclaimer?)

Every day, that no one dies is a good one right?

Wrong! That's a load of crap.

We are always told to appreciate the things we have in life and not look at what is missing or going wrong. That's a mistake I've made plenty of times. It's called avoidance. People being in a "worse" situation doesn't make your pain unreal. It's okay to suffer and let others see your pain. Talking your problems down won't make anyone feel better or maybe it will. But that doesn't matter, because ignoring the very real struggles, that you are having, will harm you. You can pretend they are not there, but to overcome them, you'll have to face them.

- Meredith Grey

"Everything looks fine, you should be able to be released within the week, as long as no further complications occur. That's also when you will probably start pt. You shouldn't fly for at least a month better even two, because of the pressure difference. If you absolutely have to get back I'd advise you to take the train but I think it would be best if you found a place to stay, that way I could easily follow through with your recovery and such a long trip would probably be very uncomfortable anyway. Do you have any further questions?" Dr. Härtl said.

As Meredith shook her head Derek asked: "Could I talk to you outside real' quick?"

"Of course."

When Derek had left Meredith broke down crying. She had been holding it back during the exam. But feeling Dr. Härtl's hands on her body again was one of the most unbearable things she had ever felt. If that exam would have lasted a quarter of a second longer Meredith would have pushed him away.

"I really think she needs to see a psychiatrist. I mean how could that even happen?" Derek asked indigently.

"I'm going to ask for a psych consult right now. They should be here in about half an hour. At this point we aren't exactly sure what happened, but…" Dr. Härtl was interrupted by Derek: "What do you mean you aren't sure? This is just ridiculous. Why weren't her eyes taped close and why didn't the anesthesiologist notice sooner. Patients never become this aware during surgery even if they wake up! Meredith has had surgery before. There has never been any trouble with the anesthesia! So what the hell went wrong in there?!"

"Derek, you've known me for a long time now, so believe me when I tell you: We aren't sure what happened yet, but we are doing our best to find out. And you should do your best and be with your wife, she needs you right now." The doctor responded calmly.

After the psychiatrist had been to see Meredith, she met up with Dr. Härtl.

Dr. Harrison, the psychiatrist told him: "You should have paged me sooner. You should've never gone near her without me. That girl is traumatized. I mean I'd be too and then touching her again probably only made it worse."

"What was I supposed to do, I had to give her an exam," Dr. Härtl.

tried to defend himself. But she simple replied: "You should have waited for me. Next time you check on her page me FIRST!"

"Hey Mer, how was your session?" Derek asked sweetly walking in. He had left when Dr. Harrison came to talk to Meredith.

"Fine, but can we please talk about something else?" Meredith pleaded.

"Sure. My mum asked what she should cook when we stay with her." Derek started

"Hold on, who said that we'd be staying with your mother?" Meredith asked confused.

"Mer you know we shouldn't go back to Seattle yet. It could harm your recovery." Derek told her.

"I know and I don't want to go to Seattle. I thought that we could stay in a hotel or something," a bit of anger started growing inside of her because Derek had yet again made his plans without asking her.

"Oh Mer, I already told her that we'd come. Besides you'd be able to get to know each other" just as Derek wanted to say "better", Meredith interrupted him again: "That's the point, I don't know her. I believe you, that she is a great woman. But I've only met her once and to be honest, right now I just want to be around people I feel comfortable with."

"Please Mer, just give her a chance and you'll see how nice she is," Derek begged.

"Derek, you don't get the point, do you? This is not about how nice she is. To me, she is a complete stranger and I'll be happy to get to know her better, maybe over dinner or on a trip once this is all over. But at this point in time, I don't want to have to stress myself about what your mother thinks of me all day long! I am under enough stress as it is."

"Oh come on Meredith, she'll love you. She already loves you. The ring on your finger, that was hers. She didn't give it to me for Addison, she gave it to me for you. So would you please just give it a try, for me?"

"Are you even listening to what I'm saying? This is not about her! I'm sick of you making all of our decisions on your own. And I'm very sorry, that you'll have to disappoint your mum, but maybe you should have thought about that sooner! Just leave me alone. Now!"

"Fine!" Derek exclaimed

As Derek took off, he ran into someone.

"Wow, careful there!" The other person told him.

"Sorry," he said with a distant voice, only now looking up to see who is standing in front of him.

"Always got to get into trouble little brother, don't you?" Kathleen chuckled.

"I'm really sorry, I didn't see you." He apologized.

"What are you doing here anyway, shouldn't you be with your wife?" She asked.

"She threw me out," Derek replied looking to the floor.

"What did you do this time?" Kathleen wanted to know.

"I didn't do anything, I swear." He told her.

"Yeah, I know. The great Derek never makes any mistakes. Why did she throw you out then?"

"I don't know. I guess he is in a bad place right now. Somehow the anastatic didn't work probably, so she woke up during surgery and she remembers everything. I get that that was traumatizing, but she shouldn't have just thrown me out because of that." Derek told his sister.

"Has she seen anyone yet?" Kathleen asked as she was a therapist herself and knew how something like this could impact a person, although she was quite sure, that this was not the entire story.

"Yes, some Dr. Harriot or something like that," Derek replied.

"Do you mean Dr. Harrison?" Derek gave her a short nod. "She's great. I've worked with her countless times. Meredith is in good hands."

"I just don't get, why she threw me out. I mean we were just talking about us staying at mum's and all of a sudden she got really angry at me." Derek told her sadly.

Kathleen now thought that she knew what the problem was. "Did you ask her whether she wanted to go?"

"No, I didn't. But mum really wanted to see her, and I already told her yes, so I can't just blow her off now, right?" Derek asked.

"Derek, I know that you didn't mean anything by it. But I think Meredith is very strong-willed and wants to decide on her own what she does and where she goes," Kathleen sight. "And I think she is right in telling you no. She has been through a lot recently and she doesn't need the extra stress of being surrounded by her husband's family all the time."

"So you're on her side now?" Derek asked furiously running away.

AN

Honestly, I didn't expect that I'd ever update again, but here is the evidence to prove me wrong. I'm almost done with the next chapter, so I'll probably post it soon (no promises).

I really hope that there are no inconsistencies since I haven't written anything in a while.

Also, I really had to make Derek a bit more arrogant, because I think till now, he got away way too nice.

I am curious: Is anyone still here who has been reading this from the beginning on (2019)?

Every review and favourite would be appreciated and might help with my motivation.