"Hmph. This is as far back as I'm going."
Veil crossed his arms and stopped where he stood to lean on a nearby oak, the midmorning sun shining over his frowning face. Bryony and Togget came to a halt and looked back at the ferret. Togget shook his little head, watching as his mousemaid companion started to argue with Veil again.
"Why? We're still a good way from Redwall."
"Good!" Veil exclaimed, pointing at Bryony to emphasize what he said. "I don't want to be any closer to that place than I can manage. They don't want me there, and I don't want to be there, so there!"
Bryony opened her mouth and then closed it, sighing quietly. She had guessed it would be that way. Veil still held much enmity for the place he once called home and the beasts he once lived alongside, and the feeling was mutual. It would be best to remain a fair distance from the Abbey, though it pained Bryony to be so close and yet so far from the place she cherished so. Still, she knew what she had to do and was prepared to go through with her plans.
"That's alright, Veil. This spot here should do as well as any for a dwelling."
Veil huffed and glanced around lazily, at the very least not offering any further rejections. Bryony took it as a win.
"Well, Togget and I are off to see what help we can get. You stay here and scope out the best place to start building and any good materials to build with."
"Right, stay back and keep outta sight of all the goodbeasts, of course," Veil replied, still staring off into Mossflower Wood.
"No, Veil that's not what I . . . just wait here. We'll be back before very long."
Frowning, Bryony turned and motioned for the mole to follow her. Veil watched the pair become swallowed up into the forest as they went off to find help.
Getting help from her Mossflower friends was much harder than Bryony had anticipated even with her low expectations. Word of Veil's terrible actions at the Abbey had spread quickly throughout the surrounding woods. Most of the woodland beasts she met wouldn't have a word of it once his name was spoken, with even some of her good friends bidding her leave before she could even open her mouth. She pulled herself together after each rejection, forcing a stiff upper lip, but it began to wear upon her as surely as the day grew long. By the time the sun had touched the horizon and turned the evening sky a brilliant shade of amber, Bryony had to call it quits and head back to Veil with just an old, rusty axe, an equally aged hatchet, a length rope, and some basic food and cooking supplies given to her from some pitying hedgehogs. It wasn't much, but it would have to do.
To make matters worse, Bryony decided to tell Togget to head back to Redwall alone and leave Veil and herself to their task. The good mole was obstinately against the idea at first, not wanting to leave his friend with a beast he didn't well trust, but Bryony was convinced that his presence would only further antagonize Veil. After much persuading, Togget agreed to return to the Abbey without her, not without telling her that he was always ready to come back and help whenever she might need him. Bryony hugged him tight and waved goodbye before she went to meet up with Veil.
The mousemaid walked into the clearing to see Veil sitting down against a small, jutting rock, fiddling aimlessly with a short stick and yawning.
"I'm back," Bryony said sighing, dropping their supplies beside him. "What have you been up to?"
Veil glanced up at her quickly and snapped the small branch in half, tossing the pieces over his shoulder.
"Hmph," he started with a grumble. He waved his paw to his other side as he continued. "Got some firewood . . . and I figured that spot over there, near that old beech tree on the opposite end, would be good enough for the cabin. Where's all the help you were gonna bring?"
"This is it." Bryony answered as she pointed to the supplies.
Veil scoffed and stared up at her incredulously.
"That? That's it?"
"Well, yes, that's all there is, Veil."
The ferret shook his head and threw his paws up in the air.
"That's some help, eh?" he said in a mocking voice. "Sure, it's not the merry gang of helpful woodlanders and Redwallers you had planned, but I'm sure it'll work out just fine, heh!"
Bryony clenched her paws tight and forced herself to breathe slow and deep, struggling to keep level-headed.
"Look, I know it's not much, but if we put our backs into it—"
"Not much!" Veil cut in, crossing his arms and laughing aloud. "That's an understatement. It's barely anything to work with at all. It'll be the dead o' winter before we finish the foundation! Hmph."
Bryony had had it.
"That was all I could manage, Veil!" she yelled at him, stamping her footpaw and making him jump at her volume. "It's not at all what I wanted, but it'll have to do!"
She paused for a moment, breathing hard as she glared at Veil where he sat and looked back at her, his eyes wide with shock. He could plainly see the anger on her face.
"Why do you have to be so negative, so unhelpful? All the way back you've been like this, speaking ill of everything we've done."
Her eyes began to water, her voice breaking. She wiped her face and kept talking to him, the upset in her voice replaced with sadness.
"If y—you were going to be this way, Veil, then why did you even come back with me? I—I just don't understand . . ."
Veil stared back at her for a long while, his eyes flicking around, his mouth opening and shutting more than once. Finally, he gave out a grunt and looked down at his paws, fidgeting with them without any real purpose.
Bryony shook her head and looked up at the darkening sky. The shadows of the old, towering oaks surrounding them had grown long as the two argued, and the stars had begun to twinkle above. Looking around, she saw the dry fallen branches and logs Veil had brought up for the fire. Without a word to him, she made a small scrape in front of where he sat, piled up some wood and tinder, and struck it with flint and steel, setting it alight with no trouble. Veil watched as she pulled out a pair of thin blankets and caught one after she tossed it to him. She chose a spot a few paces to his left and dropped down onto her blanket, lying on her side and facing away from him.
"Try to get some sleep for tomorrow," was all she murmured without even looking over her shoulder.
Veil remained awake for some time after the sun slipped out of the night sky, lying face up and gazing at the stars between the leaves overhead. Beautiful as they were, he couldn't keep from glancing over at Bryony's sleeping form throughout the late evening. He grumbled lowly to himself, thoughts dancing in his head.
Why did I provoke her like I did?
Why couldn't I say anything?
Why did I come back?
He had a innumerable amount of questions but couldn't seem to find any answers. All he could discern was the twisting in his stomach when he remembered the sadness, the pain on her face as she questioned him. Just thinking back to her resigned, defeated manner before she nodded off was enough to make him wince. He recalled all of the sighing, the begging, the appeasements on his behalf she had made since they had began their return. The pit in his stomach grew and grew, eating away at him. He tossed and turned, trying to fight off the queasy feeling and the images of the sad mousemaid from his mind. With a low growl, he sat up and stared into the dying embers of the campfire, angry at the relentless disturbance.
Ugh, did I eat something spoiled? Why do I feel so awful like this?
Veil's gaze dipped from the fire and caught sight of his own clenched paws in his lap. The weak light was enough to see they were still stained red from the beetroot juice at Redwall and the strawberries he had wolfed down a few days prior. The nauseous sensation hit a crescendo with a wave of sudden realization.
Guilt.
Regret.
Shame.
Veil bowed his head and stared long at his paws. He had feigned those emotions all his life at the Abbey, fooling the Redwallers time and time again, none more so than Bryony who was ever ready to believe the best of her little Dibbun. Now he felt them truly for the first time, felt them more intensely than he had anything else before. A great weariness crept upon him as he sat there in thought, making his eyelids heavy. With a weak sigh, he lied back down on his side, facing the mousemaid. He watched her for as long as he could before sleep took him.
A quiet scraping noise greeted Bryony as she woke in the early hours of morning. Looking over her shoulder, she could see Veil sitting on a cedar stump, whetting the axe with a flat, grainy river stone. The ferret glanced up at the sounds of her rustling awake then looked back at his task.
"What kind o' logs should we use for the cabin?"
Bryony stared silently at him. A moment passed before Veil looked at her again.
"Hmm?" he asked again.
"Oh," Bryony exclaimed, realizing what he had said. She had been taken aback by his plain tone. "Uh, hm . . . I'm not too sure, but I guess cedar would be a good choice. I remember hearing some woodlanders mention it as a good building material for cabins, and I actually saw a couple made from cedar logs just yesterday."
"Right, sounds good," Veil replied, checking the axehead's finish and standing up. "I guess I'll get started chopping down some medium-sized trees then. I'll bring 'em over and you can start preparing them with the hatchet."
Bryony simply nodded to him and gathered up said hatchet and few other miscellaneous supplies, watching him shoulder the axe and rope and walk off to find his first target. She was taken aback by his reserved demeanor; in all the time she had cared for him, he had never acted quite like that before. Her mind wandered back to their fight the day before, recalling his strange reaction as she questioned him.
I wonder what he was going to say then, she thought to herself as she rekindled the sleeping fire. If he had anything to say anyhow.
It would be some time before Veil could fell a tree and bring it back, so the mousemaid went through the cabin-making process in her head again. They would have to completely debark each log and carefully make notches at each end for the succeeding log to be placed on top. The logs would have to be dried, and with any luck, the sun would be out in full force in the coming days. Then, they'd make a simple foundation and floor from logs to keep the structure level, sturdy, and off the ground. Beyond that, it would be as simple as just stacking logs up until they need to put on a roof, likely made with smaller logs, mud, and moss. The whole process was rather easy to follow but it'd require many, many trees to be felled and logs to be prepared.
It'll probably be a few weeks before it's finished, Bryony mused. Hopefully Veil will stay calm during that time.
Putting her worries aside, Bryony started her own work, raking leaves and other debris away from the clearing near the place Veil had mentioned previously. Cleaned up, the grassy forest floor there appeared to be a satisfactory spot for a dwelling; the clearing was fairly spacious, the ground was level enough, the dirt packed tightly for a solid foundation. By the time she tidied the area up in full, Veil returned pulling a fallen cedar with the rope over his shoulder, gritting his teeth and breathing hard at his task. Bryony ran over and reached out to help him tug the rope, but the ferret shook his head and redoubled his efforts, leaning almost to the ground as he brought the heavy load to the spot at a rapid pace. With that done, he tossed down the rope and sat where he stood, panting with his head bowed and his eyes closed.
"Are you alright, Veil?" Bryony asked, concerned by his exhaustion.
"I'm fine . . . I'm fine," he answered simply, wiping his sweaty face with the back of his paw.
Feeling she wouldn't get much more out of him, she resigned to at least sit alongside him, watching him recover. They sat in silence save for the soft summer breeze and Veil's panting. Bryony couldn't help but smile. Enjoying a pleasant, peaceful moment with Veil was a gift, even if they merely sat side-by-side. However, it seemed it wasn't meant to last as Veil, having caught his breath, hopped back up, untied and took up the rope alongside the axe, and started back for the trees.
"Oh, are you ready to start again?" Bryony called out to him.
"Yes I am," he called back, not even looking over his shoulder. "Go 'head and get started on that log, will you?"
Veil disappeared into the wooded expanse before she could reply. Bryony remained seated, watching him go, wondering some more at his unusual behavior. But that would have to wait, and the mousemaid knew it. She got up and began to debark the cedar log. The hatchet certainly wasn't the best tool for the job she soon found, working up a sweat in short order while she chopped underneath the rough bark. Peeling the bark away proved to be quite tedious, requiring many strikes with the tool to lift away a small amount, and working her way down just one side of the length of the log took much longer than she would have imagined. By the time she reached the other end of the log, she had removed only about a fourth of the bark from around it and was panting nearly as hard as Veil had been.
This is going to be harder than I thought.
Without much choice in the matter, Bryony took a breather, resting her back on the gnarled beech tree nearby. If it weren't for the thought of Veil returning to find the job unfinished, or, even worse, her sleeping, she'd have done probably just that. She set her jaw and got back to her task with renewed vigor. Even with an improper tool, she grew better with practice, chopping and peeling away with greater efficiency as she went along. She finished about an hour before noon without needing another break while she worked, though she gratefully took one afterwards.
Veil showed up with another log in tow right as she started to make a saddle notche in the original one. He dragged it alongside the other, dropped the rope, and slumped down onto the ground, breathing hard again. Bryony tried to look busy while she finished up the last notch, not wanting to seem like she was staring which she figured might agitate him. It was mostly for naught as Veil simply breathed for the longest time, unnoticing or uncaring for anything else. Then, without warning, the ferret shot up again and started to venture out again. His legs shook slightly as he unwrapped the rope from the log and turned to walk away. Bryony was up in a flash and just as quickly grabbed his free paw.
"Uh uh, you're not leaving before we take lunch!" she told him, attempting to sound happy but firm at the same time. "We need to keep our energy up, and a bit of quality rest would do us both good"
Veil looked ready to argue at first, still panting all the while, but he relented with a single quick nod. Unable to hide her victorious smile, Bryony kept hold of his paw and led him to their pack of supplies. Their lunch was a very simple affair consisting of some dried apples, a few old slices of oatbread, and assorted nuts, all washed down with cool streamwater Bryony brought back in beakers from for Veil and herself. They remained silent for the better part of the luncheon, both of them focused on eating their fill and getting a breath or two in. After a while, Bryony glanced at Veil over her beaker, watching the pensive look on his face as he finished some oatbread. She felt the need to say something, anything to him, just to get him to talk.
"S—so, Veil," she started, struggling to think of a good topic. "Uh, how did the tree chopping go?"
Veil raised his eyebrows at her sudden question, then he nodded toward the log he had last brought in.
"Well enough," he said flatly. "There it is over there."
"Hah, right," Bryony said with a weak and unconvincing laugh. "But, uh, the axe didn't give you too much trouble then?"
"Not really. It sharpened up nicely this morn. Chopping the trees down was still hard, mind, but it'd be so anyhow, specially seeing as how this is my first time doing so."
"I had about the same trouble with debarking and all," the mousemaid replied, excited to hear him offering a bit more to the conversation. "I got the hang of it after some time, more or less."
Veil looked over at her work as she spoke, taking it all in.
"Looks like you did a fine job," he said, nodding.
Bryony could scarcely hide her glee from his praise, grinning from ear to ear like a Dibbun.
"T—thank you!" she stammered, trying to reel in her excitement. "Do you think the notches are a good size? I was just guessing with them at the time since I didn't have another log to size them with."
"Hmm, they should be alright," he said as he peered closely at the two notches. "Looks like you guessed right: most of the cedars I found good for logs are about this size. Keep making 'em this size."
By that time in the conversation, they had finished lunch in full. Wiping his mouth with the back of his paw, Veil stood up and stretched his limbs, groaning some.
"Ugh, time to get back to work, eh?"
"Yep!" Bryony exclaimed energetically, hopping to her feet and stretching as well, mostly copying Veil. "Let's get to it!"
Veil departed with the axe and rope, and Bryony got right to work with the new log. Already, she could tell she had got the hang of the process, and in turn found she had the second log debarked and notched in almost half the time it took getting the first right. The same proved true for Veil when he returned before very long with another log almost exactly identical to the prior logs, and he wasn't nearly as winded as before. They soon fell into a fixed pattern, each completing their tasks at about the same time as the other. By the end of the day, they had 8 finished logs already set in place as a foundation and floor for the cabin. It didn't look like much, but it was a promising start.
They supped together near their campfire, eating the same plain foodstuffs they had from earlier, though, after a day's hard work, it was a delicious feast to them both. They talked idly when they finished and began to tuck into their blankets.
"If we keep up like this, we'll be sleeping under our own roof in a matter of days," Bryony said quietly to Veil, leaning on her side and facing him.
"Right," Veil replied, facing her in return. "We did good work today."
"We sure did, Veil."
The pair was quiet for a moment. Bryony looked at the fire below her footpaws, biting her lip and thinking over what she was going to tell Veil. The ferret watched her intently, noticing the tense expression on her face.
"What's the matter?"
Her eyes flicked up to him for a second and then back to the smoldering campfire.
"Hmm, well . . . I was thinking about, maybe tomorrow or day later, visiting Redwall . . ."
Glancing up at him quickly, Bryony could see a flicker of anger in Veil's eyes.
"I—I just want to see if we could get some more supplies!" she added hastily. "Food mostly. And it would be a good idea to let everyone know we're doing fine."
She breathed a sigh of relief as the dangerous gleam seemed to pass from him upon her elaboration, though a sneer remained on his face.
"Heh, I don't think those'll care much about me whichever way," he said with a snort. "But I guess some better food is a decent reason to go."
Bryony nodded and shuffled in her resting place, trying to get a bit more comfortable on the grassy floor. Veil shifted some himself, sighing and readying for sleep. Just before she closed her eyes, a thought came to her unbidden, a memory of the night before. It took a bit for her to work up the nerve to speak again.
"Veil?"
"Yes, Bryony?" he said, opening his eyes.
". . . So, why did you return with me after all?" she asked in almost a whisper.
Veil gazed back at her unblinkingly for long pause, just like before. The crackling fire was all that broke the silence, casting flickering shadows across Veil's unmoving face. Bryony already regretted asking him the question again. Then, he answered.
"When those foxes got the drop on me and left me stringed up, I dreamt the whole time . . . the whole thing was like an endless series of fever dreams, each one fadin' into the next."
His gaze lowered to the fire as he continued in a low, somber tone.
"I saw all my life flash before my eyes again and again, over and over. Everythin' I'd ever done, everythin' what happened to me. It was awful. I felt like I was dyin', I think."
He sighed, still watching the hazy flames.
"And then, I saw you. Suddenly, you were all I could envision, and every memory I had of you came to mind. Seeing your smiling face, hearing your voice . . . I had forgotten how much they meant to me, how you used to be truly happy before I became so horrible."
Veil paused for a moment, then looked up to her again, fixing his eyes upon her own and gazing deep into them.
"So, when I woke up and saw you again, I realized that I didn't want to hurt you anymore. That's why I'm here with you now, Bryony. I haven't done a very good job of it yet. I guess I'm still stuck in my ways so far . . . but I promise that I'll change for the better going forward . . . I can do it, for you."
It was now Bryony's turn to be stunned silent. Veil had never opened up to her like that before, never offered up something so genuine and kind to her, or anyone for that matter. She couldn't find any words to express the sudden swell of happiness in her heart. Instead, she reached out her paw and took hold of his, squeezing it tight. Veil squeezed her smaller paw back and shuffled just a bit closer to her.
"Good night, Bryony," Veil whispered to her, and then he closed his eyes.
"Good night, Veil," she whispered back, smiling as she too fell into slumber.