Chapter 18: Inner Peace

Leonardo, Tigress, Michelangelo, Viper, April, Crane, Casey, Monkey, and Mantis were roughly shoved into their own individual cells in Gongmen Jail before the doors were slammed shut and locked behind them.

But that didn't mean anything to them compared to the horrible loss they had suffered.

"I can't believe he's gone." Mikey whispered, his normally jubilant attitude completely gone for a change.

"And so are Raph and Donnie." Viper added miserably, slinking herself lower to the ground.

April sighed, feeling the Kraang device around her neck that negated her powers. "Yeah, but, at least they're still out there." She said solemnly. "Unlike… Po."

"Totally not metal, dudes." Casey weakly quipped.

"Why couldn't Po do what he was told and stayed here?" Mantis questioned in frustration.

Monkey shook his head sadly. "If only he listened."

Leo remained silent, gazing out of his cell before gazing sympathetically into the cell next to him, Tigress' cell.

Said feline was sat slumped against the door to the cell, her front facing the wall as she tucked her knees into her chest. She remained silent as she gazed at the floor.

"... Where is the panda?" Master Ox asked from his and Croc's cell.

The very mention of Po almost made Tigress break down as she choked up. "He's gone…" She said in a strangled voice.

Viper, sensing her friend's depression from her cell, quietly spoke for her, "Shen took him out with his weapon…"

Croc's eyes widened slightly. "Oh… well, I suppose… that means…"

Tigress couldn't take it anymore. "HE'S GONE, ALRIGHT?! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?! HE'S DEAD!" She suddenly snapped, standing up and turning to face him, her sudden outburst silencing everyone in the jail, including the guards.

Her temper fizzling out, Tigress collapsed to the ground and went back into the position she was in before. She felt an almost foreign feeling in her heart that she hated, but couldn't stop feeling.

She had felt it back in Bao Gu Orphanage when nobody wanted to play with her, she had felt it when she tried so desperately to gain Shifu's love and affection but never gave it to her, she felt it in the twenty years she punched the ironwood trees to make herself unfeeling, the feeling she thought had finally ceased when Po fell into her life…

She felt alone.

She felt worthless.

Tigress thought back to when she finally befriended Po. While she appreciated the Five and the Turtles, seeing them as brothers and sisters, Po felt like he was the only one who truly understood her. He was someone who praised her when she thought she didn't deserve it, someone who had shown her nothing but kindness and care, someone who gave her a reason to smile again, someone who melted her icy heart and helped it out it's iron cage, someone who was her best friend, and maybe… something more.

How she wished now to see his bright smile light up the room, hear his whole-hearted laughter, feel his comforting embrace, embrace his humble personality, gaze into his lively jade eyes…

But they were nothing more than memories now.

The very thought of never seeing him again made her tremble. A tear finally escaped from her amber eye, and for the first time in nearly twenty years of her numb life…

She cried.

Tigress buried her face into her knees, holding them close to her chest as she sobbed to herself, tears freely rolling down her cheeks as all of the emotions she had bottled up inside her for years came pouring out.

The others gazed at her from their cells in shock. Never, in the time that they had all known Tigress, had they ever seen her cry. There were rare times where she had come close, but she had never truly weeped like this.

Leo gazed at her sympathetically from his cell. As he watched the grieving feline, he couldn't help but think back to the time he and his brothers had lost Master Splinter, the shere devastation they had felt when he was tossed off of the Wolf Building by the Super Shredder. The sorrow they had felt when they realized that they couldn't change it like they had before, that their father was really gone for real this time.

And as he thought, he couldn't help but feel sorrowful himself. He and his brothers were supposed to be Po's guardians, and they had failed in their duty. They had failed to protect the Dragon Warrior.

They had failed to protect their friend.

"Tigress… I'm… I'm so sorry." Leo whispered, his voice slightly hoarse.

Tigress lightly glanced up at the blue clad turtle before hanging her head again in silence as she continued to quietly sob.

Leo sighed as leaned against the bars of his cell. He glanced over at his friends, seeing them in low spirits as well.

Mikey was looking close to tears as he began sniffling, his lower lip quivering as he whipped his eyes with the back of his hand.

April looked sullen, her chin in her paws, her eyes looking down and filled with utter defeat as she subconsciously rubbed the Kraang collar around her neck.

Viper had slumped to the floor, tears lightly falling out of turquoise eyes as she gazed at the still sobbing Tigress, likely feeling sorrow for her feline sister.

Casey leaned against the wall of his cell, a solemn look on his face as he lightly tapped his foot on the floor.

Monkey was lightly balancing on his tail as he played with his fingers, which he simply stared at with a saddened face.

Mantis simply laid on his back in his little cage, looking half-asleep and looking half-awake as he simply lay there.

Leo sat down on the bunk in the cell, leaning his shell against the wall. Even though he had promised Master Splinter to carry on after his passing, asking him to be like a father to the others, he felt like he couldn't do it at the moment.

And he felt like a failure because of it.

Leo just hoped Raph and Donnie were alright, wherever they were.

Raph and Donnie panted heavily as they leapt from branch to branch in the forest before sliding to the ground.

The sky was growing dark, clouds obscuring the sky above the trees as the two turtles found themselves walking along a river.

As they trudged through the soft earth, Raph felt a growl build up in his throat as he clenched his fists in anger. Po had just been killed, their friends had been captured, and Shen and the Kraang were going to conquer China and eventually the world and what were they doing?

Running away. And Raph hated that.

"This is your fault, Donnie!" Raph accused. "If you'd actually had a good plan…"

Donnie looked back at his hot headed brother with a growl. "My fault?! How's it my fault? How could I have predicted that Po would go behind our backs to go after Shen? But that's your thing, isn't it? Always blaming something else when you're angry. Always looking for a scapegoat even when it's your own fault!"

Raph growled at Donnie, the smart turtle growling back as they glared daggers at each other.

"We left our friends back there! And you had us abandon them when they needed us!" Raph shouted.

"What would you rather have done?!" Donnie questioned. "Gone back there and died?! We would've been vastly outnumbered and overwhelmed! The odds were not in our favor!"

"It's better than running away like cowards, brainiac!" Raph retorted.

"At least I have a brain, meathead!" Donnie growled as the two began getting into each other's faces.

The two glared fiercely at each other as they looked like they were actually going to get physical when they heard a loud splash close by.

Putting their feud aside, Raph and Donnie looked over to the river and were shocked to see a certain unconscious panda floating down the river.

"PO!" Raph and Donnie exclaimed, immediately rushing over to the river and pulling Po out of the water.

"Is he…?" Raph asked once they set Po down on the shore.

Donnie placed a finger on Po's neck, checking his pulse before putting his ear up to the panda's chest, listening for a heartbeat.

Bump

Bump

Bump

Donnie sighed with relief as he sat. "He's alive." He confirmed. "Somehow."

Looking at Po, the panda had definitely seen better days as most of the fur on his body was scorched and burned.

Donnie lightly slung Po's arm over his shoulder. "C'mon, we gotta get him somewhere where we can patch him up."

Raph slung Po's other arm around his shoulder as the two lifted him up. "Yeah, but where?"

"I believe I know a safe place."

Raph and Donnie nearly dropped Po, startled by the sudden voice as they turned to see the Soothsayer standing a few feet away from them.

"It's you!" Donnie exclaimed in surprise.

"How come you're not with Shen?" Raph questioned suspiciously.

The Soothsayer sighed. "Lord Shen has let me go. He does not see me as of any use to him anymore." She then turned away from them, walking off in the opposite direction. "Come. Your friend will need his injuries treated if he is to live."

Raph raised a brow, readjusting his grip on Po. "And how do we know we can trust you?" He asked, still skeptical.

The Soothsayer glanced over her shoulder at them. "You don't have much of a choice, now do you?" She replied before she continued walking.

Donnie glanced over to the red clad turtle. "She's right, Raph." He admitted. "We need to get Po some medical attention if he's going to survive."

Raph looked at the panda before shifting his gaze back to the Soothsayer. "Fine." He caved in. "But I don't like this."

Raph and Donnie followed the Soothsayer for quite some time as they carried the unconscious Po with them.

Eventually, they came out of the forest and into a large field which by itself would seem beautiful except for one thing.

The place where they were seemed to be the remains of a village, the wooden houses burned down and crumbling with no signs of any living thing anywhere. Some were completely obliterated as the remains lay scattered in the grass, which had overgrown piles of dirt and soot.

"Whoa! What happened here?" Donnie gasped, looking around the burned and rotting buildings. "This whole village is… abandoned."

"Why… why'd you bring us here?" Raph asked the Soothsayer.

"It is a place of great significance." The Soothsayer replied, lowering her head sadly. "Or at least… it was."

Deciding not to push her, Raph and Donnie followed the Soothsayer as they carried Po towards a small wooden house that was surprisingly mostly intact and covered with trees.

"Set him down here." The Soothsayer told them, pointing to a small corner of the house.

Raph and Donnie lightly set Po down before sitting down themselves as they leaned against the walls.

"It looks like he's got some second-degree burns." Donnie observed, noting the especially singed fur on Po's right arm. "Along with some heavy blunt force trauma to the back of his head. He's lucky to even be alive."

"That crazy son of a gun." Raph murmured.

The Soothsayer lightly poured two cups of an unknown liquid. "Drink." She said, handing both Raph and Donnie the two cups. "You will need your strength." She then poured herself her own cup before drinking it.

Donnie and Raph both looked at each other and shrugged before they too began to drink. As soon as it hit their taste-buds however, their eyes widened into comical white disks before they immediately spat out their drinks.

"Ugh, what is that?!" Raph coughed, rubbing his tongue to get the foul taste out.

"Tastes like onion and banana juice!" Donnie exclaimed with disgust.

"That's because it is." The Soothsayer said with a small amused smile before she drank some more. "Yum yum."

Raph and Donnie looked at each other with befuddled expressions before they reluctantly kept drinking.

Once they had finished their drinks, Donnie and the Soothsayer quickly set to work on Po, in particular wrapping a large bandage around his burned right arm to his shoulder and pouring some water on it to cool the burns. Once that was done, they placed in several acupuncture needles in order to loosen his muscles.

Raph didn't really have much medical expertise aside from some basic first-aid so instead he opted to sit by and watch, occasionally glancing outside at the destroyed village in silence.

Eventually, Po began to wake up as his eyes blinked open, he felt drops of water lightly batter his head. Every part of him hurt, his arm especially.

As his vision began to clear, he looked up and was surprised to see Raphael and Donatello sitting right next to him.

"Raph…? Donnie…?" Po said weakly, his voice strained as he sat up.

Both Raph and Donnie let out a breath of relief.

"Hey, buddy." Raph said with a small smile.

"How're ya feeling?" Donnie gently asked.

Po shifted as he tried to sit up. "Well… I've been better." He said, wincing at the many acupuncture needles in his skin.

Raph and Donnie lightly chuckled at the panda's seemingly unending enthusiasm as the Soothsayer walked over, holding another cup of onion and banana juice.

Po smelled the drink, deadpanning at the Soothsayer. "Yeah… like you're going to get me to drink tha-"

He was cut off as the Soothsayer lightly jabbed another needle into his forehead, keeping his mouth open and making his eyes comedically pop open as she tossed the medicine into his mouth before pulling out the needle, forcing him to swallow.

Po gagged at the harsh taste while the Soothsayer returned to the pot with the small fire.

"So… why'd you help us?" Po asked the old goat.

"If I wanted you dead, I would have left the three of you by that river." The Soothsayer replied.

"But… why'd you bring us here?" Po questioned, removing needles from his body.

"So you can fulfill your destiny." The Soothsayer answered.

"What are you talking about? Where are we?" Po looked outside, noticing the burnt remains of the village. "What is this place?"

The Soothsayer sighed. "I am surprised that you remember so little… but then, you were so little when it happened."

"When what happened?" Donnie asked out of curiosity.

Po suddenly let out a cry of pain, holding his head as the sounds of screaming fire echoed through his head.

Raph and Donnie were immediately at his side. "Whoa, Po. You alright?" Raph asked.

Po didn't answer as he crawled to the edge of the house.

"Perhaps you do remember." The Soothsayer said with a small nod.

"What? It's just a stupid nightmare." Po brushed off.

"Nightmare… or memory?"

Po gazed into a small puddle just outside of the ruined house. He stared at it before he felt his mind begin to wander.

Suddenly, Po found himself in the village again. A village that was still standing and full of life. Full of pandas happily living their lives in the bright beautiful sunlight. Pretty kites flew in the sky as he spotted two elderly pandas; his mother and father, waiting for him outside.

Po crawled down the stairs as an infant, giggling as he held a small panda doll in his paws while he waddled towards his parents.

"This was once a thriving village." The Soothsayer said, snapping Po out of his flashback as he, Raph, and Donnie walked out of the ruins and observed the village. "Young Shen was in line to rule Gongmen City… but he wanted more." She shook her head solemnly. "I foretold that someone would stand in his way… a panda and his four guardians. But I never could have foretold what came next…"

Before Po could reply, he was struck with another vision.

He was back in the village as a cub again, only now it was night. And the entire village was in flames. Pandas running for their lives as Shen and his wolves began their assault, killing everyone in sight. And in the midst of the massacre, little baby Po sat outside his hunt whimpering in fear, clutching his panda doll close to his chest.

Through the flames, he could see the white peacock with spread tail feathers leading the charge. "Get them all!" He heard Shen shout.

Two of the wolves, one of which Po recognized as the Boss Wolf, lunged at the baby Po with razor sharp jaws wide open.

But before the wolves could reach him, a large male panda stepped in front of Po, armed with the same sledge hammer Po had seen the Boss Wolf use. And in an instant, Po recognized this panda as his father.

Po's Father swung his hammer, smashing it against the Boss Wolf's eye and sending him and his comrade flying back while Shen could only stare in astonishment.

"Take our son!" Po's Father shouted to Po's Mother. "And run away! Go!"

Po's Mother quickly bent down and grabbed Po before fleeing with the other remaining pandas. As they fled, Po's doll fell from his grip, bouncing on the ground before being buried under the burning debris.

Coming out of the flashback, Po lightly brushed away some of the debris, finding the burnt and soggy panda doll that he had as a child.

He stared at the doll while Raph and Donnie stood by his side. Just then, Po's mind flashed again with more repressed memories, ones too painful to remember.

The snowy forest in the raging blizzard…

The red fire lighting the darkened night air like fresh blood…

The loud wails of his infant self crying…

The heart-broken face of his mother as she turned to flee and left him all alone…

Po forced himself out of the flashback as he held his head.

"Stop fighting." The Soothsayer gently encouraged him. "Let it flow."

Po relaxed as he set the doll down while it began to lightly rain.

The Soothsayer then walked down from the house, approaching the three of them.

"Donatello," The Soothsayer spoke to the smart turtle, "you have a brilliant mind, greater than perhaps any in this world. You view things from a scientific standpoint, using logic. However, in order to find true peace, you must now open your mind, believe in what you can no longer deny."

The Soothsayer then turned to Raph. "Raphael," She said, "you have the gift of great strength, but have little control over your temper. If you are to achieve balance, you must look within yourself and control this fire before it consumes you."

Hesitantly, Raph and Donnie both silently nodded. As they, along with Po, looked into the distance, they spotted a certain deer spirit staring at them from across the field with an unreadable expression.

Closing their eyes, Po, Raph, and Donnie all collectively stood up straight, moving together in perfect sync as they slid their right feet back, waving their arms in the way of tai chi.

As they moved, both Donnie and Raph could hear the words of their father whispering to them from the beyond.

"If you think too much about what is coming, you lose sight of what is. You must be fully in the moment so you can fight without thinking."

"You are very intelligent, but in a fight, you cannot be… up here."

"You are responsible, yes. Responsible for destroying the mutagen. Responsible for saving the people of the city. Responsible for defeating advanced technology using only ingenuity, bravery, and a stick."

"Never lose hope..."

"Donatello, you rely too much on your mind, and not on your body. Be strong, like the mountain."

And Donnie was.

"I could have chosen to ignore him. I could have chosen to let his words wash over me, like a river over stone. But I let him anger me, it was I who made his words into weapons."

"Anger is a dangerous ally; it clouds your judgment. You need to control it, lest it controls you."

"Now you see the price of leadership; responsibility."

"... Do you know what I do when I miss loved ones from the past? I focus on the friends I am surrounded by in the present."

"Raphael, your temper is like a fire that you must learn to focus for power."

And Raph did.

As the three of them moved, Po, Raph, and Donnie raised their hands to the sky, each of them catching a single drop of rain while still maintaining their forms.

While they moved their own raindrops from arm to arm, Po allowed the memories to come back to him, letting them flow naturally, no beating against the current this time.

The cold snow fell all around him as Po's Mother carried him into the forest, the marks on the trees all seemed to resemble the eye symbol the wolves wore on their armor.

Just then, Po's Mother quickly moved out of the way as the Boss Wolf lunged for her, missing and landing in the snow.

Po's Mother continued to run as the wolves gave chase. She was eventually able to briefly lose them as she went down a snowy slope, finding a cart full of vegetables. There were baskets of cabbages, turnips, and radishes… and she gently placed the baby Po inside the crate full of radishes.

Po wailed and cried inside the crate as Po's Mother turned to leave… but then she stopped. She looked at him and then quietly walked over to him, gently shushing him as she kissed his forehead.

Immediately the infant Po stopped crying and started giggling as he nuzzled his cheek against his mother's paw.

And so, with tears in her eyes, Po's Mother reluctantly let her son go as she climbed back up the snowy hill before waving her arms to catch the attention of Shen and his wolves, distracting them from her son as she led them away, and leaving him alone in the radish basket.

Coming back to the present, Po, Raph, and Donnie gently deposited their drops of water on a small plant in the grass.

Opening his eyes, Po fell to his knees while Raph and Donnie gazed solemnly upon the panda.

Po could only stare at the grass, completely gutted. Even though he had now achieved inner peace, even though he remembered everything about his past now…

… he still couldn't shake the sorrow he felt upon reliving those awful memories.

The Soothsayer walked down from the ruins of the house towards them. "Your story may not have had such a happy beginning…" The Soothsayer said, speaking directly to Po, "... but that does not make you who you are. It is the rest of your story…"

"That's right," Raph agreed, kneeling down and placing a hand on Po's shoulder, "You're who you choose to be."

"Yeah, not what others make you." Donnie added, placing his hand on Po's other shoulder.

Po sat there as he let their words sink in, a new wave of memories flooding over him.

His infant self tumbling out of the radish basket at Mr. Ping's feet.

Meeting Leo, Raph, Donnie, and Mikey years later after they saved him and his dad from bandits.

Oogway choosing him as the Dragon Warrior the very next day.

His first day at the Jade Palace.

Meeting Shifu and the Furious Five.

Training with the Turtles under Shifu.

Reading the Dragon Scroll and understanding its meaning.

He and the Turtles defeating Tai Lung.

Tigress bowing to him along with the Five as she smiled at him for the first time.

Tigress hugging him in Gongmen Jail.

A younger Mr. Ping gazing lovingly down at his infant self as he whimpered with the wok on his head.

And Mr. Ping feeding the his infant self on his makeshift crib.

Po had his eyes closed as he, Raph, and Donnie slowly stood up.

"So… who are you, panda?" The Soothsayer asked.

Po opened his eyes with a determined gleam as he, Donnie, Raph gazed upon the deer spirit which now stood right in front of them in it's humanoid form.

"I am Po." The panda said seriously. "The Dragon Warrior."

Po, Raph, and Donnie then placed their arms at their sides and bowed to the deer spirit.

The deer spirit nodded before slowly fading away, as if it were never there.

The Soothsayer then walked closer to them. "And are you two willing to protect him?" She asked Raph and Donnie.

"Absolutely." Raph answered.

"With our lives." Donnie stated.

The Soothsayer nodded. "Then you must go." She said, pointing her cane in the direction of Gongmen City. "Save your friends. Save China. Save the world."

Po, Raphael, and Donatello all nodded as they turned in the direction of the city.

It was time to save their family.

"And I'm gonna need a hat." Po stated.