Oh boy. This one was a challenge to write. I'm eager to hear what you guys and girls think about this one. The poll is still open on my profile too. Would you be interested in seeing Petra become important to this route of the story? Let me know! Also, a question. Do you think Dorothea is the the kind of girl to become jealous if another woman gets close to the person she loves?

I'm curious to hear your thoughts.

Lets begin shall we?

Departure (Black Eagles III)

Today is the day where everything changes. I feel less like a young man coming into his own and more like an adult. It's like Pop said. I'm making choices the likes of which will shift the course of my future - for months if not years to come. And perhaps most importantly of all, a woman tenderly asked for my betrothal last night. It's unbelievable. Well, what I mean to say is... I'm amazed. A lass as gorgeous as Dorothea wishes to walk hand-in-hand with me.

She's even offered for me to live with her in Adrestia.

Everything is moving so very quickly, but then again... I reckon that's what an adult's life is all about. It's funny, now that I think about it. In fact, I've been thinking all morning about how mature Dorothea is for her age. Plenty of the lassies here (both noble and commoner) are enjoying the last fleeting embers of their teenage days. I've overheard plenty of highborn women discussing how they'll be married off to noble lords no sooner than graduating the monastery.

My biggest question hurts to consider. Will the same fate befall Hilda? She is the daughter of a highborn family, after all. Even if I hadn't chosen to give my affections to Dorothea, would the two of us have been allowed to love? I feel so many emotions over the matter. And with them come further questions. Who knows? Maybe it's for the best this way. I'll say goodbye to the Golden Deer today and never look back. As much as it hurts to admit it, Hilda and I were probably walking different roads anyway. Not that I feel any better about it.

After dressing and sharing a morning kiss with Dorothea, I depart for class. She's still half asleep in bed by the time I'm ready to go. I leave the keys to the door on my bedside table. "Sleep well," I smile. She smiles back through the haze of dreams. It's better she gets dressed and follows long after I've already left. She won't get seen by too many students this way.

I start to stall the closer I get to my homeroom. The reality of what I'm about to do hits me like a fist to the gut. This is my last day as a Golden Deer, and not a single member of my class knows - not even Miss Goneril. I-I don't know if I can do this!

"No, Rolan," I whisper, coming to an abrupt stop before the doorway. "You can do this," I tell myself at a whisper. My hand trails over my chest to take note of my heartbeat. The organ therin pounds in a desperate rhythm.

"Do what?" Comes a familiar voice from behind. A dainty hand rests on my shoulder. Hilda, blissfully unaware of the day's events, stands in front of me with the most welcoming of smiles. She pecks my cheek in greeting while nobody's looking. "Goood morning Rolan." Her voice is full to the brim with warmth and cheer. "Are you ready for class? I think I've almost got the Technical Combat thingie on our test paper memorized." The noble lass rolls her eyes mockingly. "It was sooo much hard work, but then I remembered what you told me."

I'm rendered speechless. The longer I stand here the closer I am to being sick. My senses are skewed. I'm dizzy with nerves. I have to say something to her, anything. Right here and right now. The least I can do is spare a girl whom I still love dearly a painful goodbye.

"Hilda I-"

Church bells chime. And with them, my time is up. Hilda snags my hand and drags me into the classroom. "Alright," she beams, especially cheerfully. She comes to a stop at our usual desk near the back. Our place away from prying eyes, where a great deal of secret hand-holding and gentle petting has taken place. "Let's get started. I'm gonna nail this test if I can," she declares fearlessly. "Just watch."

"Morning class," comes Professor Byleth's regular morning greeting. She takes her rightful place before the chalkboard and scribbles names for all of us to see. The unfortunate souls who turned in their practice papers late. We're getting nearer and nearer to the morning announcements. As if to make matters worse, Hilda has her hand in my lap beneath the table.

"Now before we begin today..." Professor claps sharply. Idle chatter and the all too common gossiping voices fall away. The stillness in the room is almost deafening to me. If my heart thumps any harder I think I'll keel over. "There will be a slight delay to our test today. The schedule is shifting because of a somewhat... unexpected transfer."

The classroom comes to life with speculation.

"A transfer?" One of my fellow first-years says, tapping her fingers against her desk. "Who might it be?"

A second classmate counters her question with one of his own, "Maybe one of the Blue Lions is joining us." He smiles a dreamy-eyed smile, abuzz with curiosity. "Oh I do hope it's Miss Anette. She's so beautiful... I've always hoped to ask her to the ball."

Professor taps her chalk against the face of the board, "Settle down, everyone."

Again the chatter falls flat.

"There will be no new student joining us today," she reveals. "One of ours is leaving for the Black Eagles. Miss Edelgard and I discussed the matter yesterday evening over tea. It was rather... surprising, but I decided to approve her request." My teacher gazes through the sea of people; she's fixated directly on me. Her expression is surprisingly sad. "It is a shame to see such a skilled swordsman leave us, but if his future lies in Adrestia then I wish him all the best."

Hilda gives the arm of my shirt a tug, "She's looking this way," the highborn girl whispers. "Who do you think Professor's talking about?"

I fail to find the courage to reply. Thankfully, her question is answered by Miss Byleth. "Rolan. Would you be so kind as to come to the front and say farewell to your classmates? I'm sure everyone would like to wish you well."

Hilda's heavy gasp nearly kills me outright. My stomach squeezes. I feel her grip upon my shirt tighten. She holds on even as I rise from the desk. "Of course, Professor Byleth." I answer calmly and politely, doing the best I can to keep my mask intact. I step out from the bench, and my childhood friend reluctantly lets go.

Each step toward the front of the classroom feels like hiking a mountain. My every breath is thin and painful. I scrunch my hands into fists to stop them from shaking. Teacher steps aside and allows me to take my place behind her lecture podium. Every set of eyes in the room is fixated upon me, from the people I don't know to some of the gallant third year students I've become acquainted with.

Leone. Claude. Ignatz. Lysithea. And many others. They're all waiting expectantly.

Everybody but the woman in this room I treasure most. Hilda rises from the bench. The sound of wood scraping against the stone floor makes my blood run cold. "E-Excuse me, Professor," she says with a raised hand; her voice is tiny and broken. "May I be excused? I-I have a headache all of the sudden..."

Miss Byleth gives a thoughtful nod. She glances at me out of the corner of her eye. She's an amazingly smart woman. If she doesn't know of the full extent of the bond I share with Hilda, I'll bet she has it all figured out by the end of today. "You may, Hilda. Take your time. We'll be resuming exam preparation in an hour."

Hilda rushes for the double doors quicker than I've ever seen her move before. She heaves them wide with surprising strength and leaves, bringing them closed again with a bang. I notice Claude glance toward the back of the room; he's quick to shake his head. I wonder if he knows too. Worse, I wonder if Hilda's told him of her feelings for me.

I wouldn't he surprised, given that the both of them are so like-minded.

"Rolan," says Professor, clearing her throat. "You're more than welcome to speak up."

What words will do justice to my hasty departure? Deep down I'll always be a Golden Deer at my core, even if my path diverges from the people in this room. Well, whatever I say, I'd better make it count.

"I know I've not always been the most outspoken person in the room," I start. Without Hilda here I find that speaking out becomes easier. No longer does my stomach hurt, even if I am a bit on the dizzy side. "But it won't change how I feel about our shared homeland." I should say what I've always felt. It's my last chance.

"The Alliance is a place where commoners seldom starve and our old folks are taken care of. And I know I'm leaving that behind now... But thank you all the same for being kind to me, all of you. Even if at first I didn't feel like I belonged here at Garreg Mach. This house is special. There are nearly as many commoners as nobles. You can't say that about the others. My reasons for leaving are... personal. But I'm proud of hailing from Goneril... I won't forget her."

Both the domain and the noblewoman. I swallow bitterly, bowing my head with gratitude.

"And who knows? Maybe one day if some of you visit Enbarr in Adrestia you'll see me there. That's where I'll be going once I graduate."

I don't have the energy to say anything more. Stepping away from the podium, I give one last smile of thanks to Professor Byleth. "I'll be on my way now, as soon as I've packed up my things. I'm grateful for all of your support, Teacher."

"A pleasure, Rolan," she answers kindly. "I'm sure you'll do us proud."

Whispers aplenty begin circulating my now former-homeroom upon my return to an empty desk. Namely the back rows.

"Enbarr? Why's he going there?" is one student's wonder.

"I hear he's chasing after Dorothea from the Black Eagles," says another.

"But isn't he always hanging around with Miss Hilda?" asks a third. A dainty first year lass with curly auburn hair and freckled cheeks. "That has to be why she ran out like that... Did you see her? I swear she was about to start sobbing. Poor girl..."

"Alright class," Byleth quashes the gossip with yet another commanding clap. "It's about time we look over yesterday's lecture notes. We're holding a mixed-skill sparring tournament at the Training Grounds about a week from now. Hopefully some of you will enter."

It proves far harder to pack up my papers in my satchel than usual. My eyes are drawn to Hilda's scruffy class notes. The edges of the paper are crumpled. Wait... hold on. There's a folded note sat beside our shared inkwell. It's addressed to me. Looks freshly written too.

Finished with my preparations and ready to go, I swipe the note and make my way for the door. Out into the courtyard I go. A quick look to my left and right shows I'm alone. There's not a soul out here, though I overhear Professor Manuela delivering a speech to the Black Eagles as I walk past their classroom. It's apparently the norm for her to keep the doors open during class, or so I've been told.

"Now remember, class," she speaks with her signature allure. "Tomorrow afternoon we'll be welcoming a new transfer, though I'm sure Miss Edelgard has already told you. I hear he's a strapping young man from the Golden Deer. Oh my... I'll have to invite him for tea."

All I can think about is the way Hilda gasped as I rose from our desk. Her fingers were trembling as she held onto my shirt. Sighing deeply, I keep a wide berth of the Black Eagle classroom and head in the direction of my dorm room. With lessons still in session now might be a good time to stop by the Training Grounds and take my mind of things. In fact, I'll do that.

But first? I should see what Hilda wrote for me. Coming to a stop outside of the door to my room, I unfold the piece of paper. A lump forms in my throat. My heart cracks like glass. Sicker and sicker I feel, until tears blur my vision.

"How could you be so cruel? You said I had potential; that you believed in me. I suppose I can't be that important to you after all."

I'm left vanquished by her words, utterly destroyed as though a Demonic Beast has trampled over me. With tears streaming down my cheeks I kneel and check beneath the doormat. The key to my room is there. Dorothea thankfully had the foresight to leave it here instead of taking it with her. I place the key into the lock and turn it.

I think back to Pop's words of advice when he visited the other day.

"Stand tall. Do what I couldn't. Choose the girl yer heart beats for, and don't regret it. Stay strong; own yer choice. Ye hear me?"

I've made my choice and stuck by it. Yet here I am, still wrought with bitterness. Still miserable over the pain I've caused another. A valuable lesson sits in the palms of my hands. Hilda's letter proves it. This is what it means to be an adult - to make tough choices that won't make everyone happy, to choose a path and walk it.

I shove open the doors to my room and step inside. The tears in my eyes tell a bitter truth.

Sometimes our actions hurt others. And by making one woman happy, I've totally crushed the hopes of another. My childhood friend. The girl who's messy room I tidied while my father baked bread in the kitchens of the Goneril Estate. The girl who deep down, I loved from the moment we reunited at this monastery. Hilda's been wounded because of me.

Wiping my eyes, I sit upon the edge of my bed. It's neat and tidy; Dorothea must've made the sheets. A darn good job she's done, too. "If this is what it means to be a man," I whisper, "Maybe I'm still more of a child than I thought..."

Whatever the case, I know what I'll do next.

I toss my satchel to the corner of my room and rise from the bed. I'll spend the rest of the day training.

Picking up my practice sword from its place by the cupboard, I begin on my way, locking the door again as I go.

If I'm going to make Hilda suffer for the sake of my happiness, then I'd better be sure I'm ready to prove my worth as a Black Eagle. As a woman for whom my heart will always beat (no matter where I go) she deserves that much. My only wish is that I hadn't been so foolish.

Turning away from my house and my country was far from easy.

To be continued...

There you have it. Another chapter comes to a close! Did you like it? Would you like to see more in future? Feel free to leave some feedback and share your thoughts. As always, keep on supporting Fire Emblem and I'll see you in the next part. Thanks again!