As always...

Relena: DM/Dungeon Master (loves the group, but often wants to TPK them)
Heero: Drow Ranger (Quatre had to make his character for him)
Duo: Tiefling Bard (likes to play up "that bard" to Relena's annoyance)
Trowa: Tiefling Rogue (dresses "like a bard/clown" to confuse enemies)
Quatre: Aasimar Cleric (lone healer of the group and all that prevents a TPK)
Wufei: Dragonborn Monk (extremely particular about his character)
Hilde: Tabaxi Barbarian (used to grapple the others as needed)

The party almost gets TPKed and everyone's pissed.

"Maxwell."

"Uh...yeah 'Fei?" Came the brunette awkward, unsure tone as he glanced at the Chinese pilot who was all-but vibrating from rage in his seat and glaring at the dungeon map spread out on the table that they were all sitting around.

"What...in the actual fuck is wrong with you."

"Uh..."

"Are we doing this in alphabetical order or chronological?" Came Heero's own irritation-laced tone as he turned to glare at the other pilot, with his arms folded over his chest and a scowl settled on his face. Before Duo could respond, Hilde let out a frustrated groan, her fingers tangled in her bangs as she tugged at her hair in frustration and let out several curses if her gaze happened to land on the map. Trowa was glaring at Duo from over Quatre's head; the blond in his now-normal place of sitting on Trowa's lap...and dutifully rolling dice as he burned through his few remaining spellslots to heal the party when he wasn't having his cleric pass out healing potions and such like Halloween candy.

What, pray tell, was their beloved DM doing? Relena was refusing to even look at Duo, preferring to focus on working with Quatre as he worked on healing the party...though she also looked like she was just barely resisting the urge to lunge across the table and put the long-haired pilot in a headlock until he begged her for forgiveness and mercy. Duo almost flinched for a moment because he knew that Relena would be able to pull off such a feat flawlessly thanks to Wufei taking it on himself to teach her the basics, and some advanced forms, of self-defense after someone in the group (or outside of it and most likely named 'Dorothy' because that blonde loved stirring the pot every chance that she got) had taken it on themselves to inform him about just how many times Relena had been captured or otherwise in danger.

While it had been a dark day hearing Wufei's outraged "what" echo through Preventers HQ (several Preventers may or may not have needed changes of pants that day) it at least made the following days of watching Wufei in sparring gear training a workout-gear-wearing Relena in how to protect herself, extremely bright if not highly distracting.

"Seriously 'Ro? You're gonna call me out like-" Duo barely started...only to find himself jerked out of his seat by his collar and being held right in front of Wufei's face. "You almost killed the entire party, and for what?"

Duo opened his mouth to defend himself, but Wufei didn't even give him a chance to do more than inhale. "You were supposed to help take some of the pressure off of Quatre with the healing AND buff the party! Why in the name of all that is holy AND unholy in this game and the world were you trying to attack the demon with that rapier that your character hasn't even been taught how to use yet?!"

"It...uh...it seemed like a good idea at the time?" Was all Duo said and that was the moment when Heero and Hilde both grappled Wufei, pulling him off and away from Duo, and forcing the Chinese pilot back into his seat as Wufei started cursing in either Mandarin or Cantonese...Hilde didn't know the difference and Heero had zero interest in telling anyone which language it was regardless.

"Duo..."It seemed like a good idea at the time" is going to be your epitaph in game and in real life." Quatre said firmly, finally looking up at the other pilot with a look that was equal parts 'I am disappointed in you' and 'I have a mercenary cult at my beck and call, remember that'. Relena huffed out an irritated breath and finally looked up at Duo with a glare that had once made Zechs throw up his hands and walk on the other side of a hallway just to avoid her. "I will pay for that epitaph to be written on the headstone."

Duo opened his mouth to say something, but noticed that even Trowa was glaring at him so he wisely snapped his jaw shut to let Quatre finish healing the party and allow everyone a moment to calm down...

...For about five minutes. "Can I just say that we all are still alive? Mostly dead sure, but still alive and that the demon and it's minions and cultists aren't so...I'd call that a win."

A chair clattered to the ground and Wufei was, once more, being grappled once more by Hilde and Heero.

Er...Duo's out of line but he's still technically right.

As for why Wufei decided to teach Relena self-defense instead of Heero? Easy...Wufei knows what 'beginner level' is, Heero does not.