Relena: DM/Dungeon Master (loves the group, but often wants to TPK them)
Heero: Drow Ranger (Quatre had to make his character for him)
Duo: Tiefling Bard (likes to play up "that bard" to Relena's annoyance)
Trowa: Tiefling Rogue (dresses "like a bard/clown" to confuse enemies)
Quatre: Aasimar Cleric (lone healer of the group and all that prevents a TPK)
Wufei: Dragonborn Monk (extremely particular about his character)
Hilde: Tabaxi Barbarian (used to grapple the others as needed)

Relena is a queen for many reasons.

"...The stone and metal golems litter the floor in broken and twisted shells. Now that the fighting is done for the moment, a heavy silence not unlike that of a tomb over the entire room...until a slow clapping cuts through. The ivory-clad baroness looks down at all of you from atop the grand staircase, before drawing her wrist up to her lips. The topaz on her bracelet begins to gleam with magic as she parts her lips to speak-"

The sound of a phone ringing cut through Relena's attempt at setting the scene for the second half of the boss battle of the quest, practically sucking all of the steadily built tension from the room. The diplomat breathed out in annoyance. "Okay...who broke rules and left their phone on?"

"Not it." Came Heero and Wufei's voice practically in unison...causing both former pilots to glare at each other in irritation at the other 'copying' them. Were the pair copying each other? No...but both seemed to be immune to the logic that it was completely possible for two people to think similar thoughts, especially when they associated with one another for as long at the pair had.

This particular refusal of logic, sadly, continued on unabated despite Quatre trying to explain it many times.

"My phone is off, Relena, I promise...and Trowa broke his." The blond said with a small frown while the sometimes-clown whose lap he was sitting in, merely shrugged as nonchalantly as possible at everyone being told that he had broken yet another cellphone. After all, it wasn't exactly Trowa's fault that the phone had somehow ended up in one of the breakroom microwaves at Preventer HQ...and anyone who tried to claim otherwise (outside of Quatre anyway) would find themselves suffering from cayenne pepper coffee for a week if not longer.

"Not mine. I got ringtones." Duo said as he finished off the two-liter of soda that he had been steadily working his way through this session. Hilde shrugged, hunching over to rest on her crossed arms as she focused her gaze on the map and miniatures laid out before them. "I think that's actually yours, Relena."

Relena pulled out her phone, frowning at the screen as the phone continued to ring. "I swear I turned this off..."

"Just answer it."

The diplomat gave an irritated huff, due only to the unexpected phone call, and pressed accept. "Hello. How are you? On a scale of one to a colony is going to crash into the Earth, how important is this phone call?"

Duo and Hilde let out a snort of amusement at Relena's "scale", while Wufei shook his head and tried to keep the faint grin from forming on his face. Heero leaned back in his seat and folded his arms over his chest as he put his focus on his girlfriend. Quatre rested back against Trowa's chest as the brunette wrapped his arms firmly around his boyfriend's waist and rested his chin on the blond's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Noin...can you repeat that? And by "repeat that" I mean "say something completely different that makes sense"."

Hilde glanced around at the guys. "Glad we didn't bet money...I thought it was Dorothy."

"Same." Duo nodded to his girlfriend as he tossed the empty soda bottle into the trashcan against the wall; he knew that, with his luck, he would have been the one who would have bet that it had been Dorothy...and he would have made that bet with Heero and/or Wufei and then he would have been paying for it with a lot more than just money.

Not that he would have been complaining too much about that to be honest.

"Noin. The guys have been here with Hilde and myself for the last three hours. They came home right after work. They couldn't have possibly had the time to drop in at my brother's house and set any booby traps."

Hilde just rolled her eyes at that before casting a knowing look on the five males around the table as each of the guys' expressions turned to their respective 'poker faces'...though, at that thought, the former freedom fighter reminded herself that all of them needed to take a little trip to one of the gambling capitals of the world just so she could see how good the former pilots actually were. Sure, they didn't actually need money (especially with Relena and Quatre around) but traveling to a city of manufactured sin was practically a rite of passage that they should all experience just once...at least according to several people whom she'd met over the years and the strongman at the circus.

The quintet in question, however? Duo looked as if he could care less as he went over to the fridge in the game room to grab a fresh bottle of soda. Quatre looked slightly abashed for a solid five seconds until Trowa oh so casually kissed the blond's neck to distract him. Wufei glanced up towards Duo with a quiet 'order' to bring back another bag of mini pretzel sticks and the Nutella jar, while Heero merely raised a brow, but otherwise remained in his seat with his focus completely on his girlfriend.

"Noin. My statement remains. The guys came right home after work and they have all five been with Hilde and myself for the last three hours." Relena said once more, with a touch more firmness than she typically used in this situation. "Maybe you should ask my brother if he has anyone else whom he has offended in the past who would know where he lives. Goodbye, Noin."

Relena hung up and turned her phone off before sliding it back into her skirt pocket...then looked at her boys as Duo tossed the pretzels and Nutella to Wufei then retook his usual seat with his soda bottle. The diplomat sighed...before a fond smile formed on her face. "Okay, so which one of you was behind which booby trap?"

"I did the clingwrap over every doorway." Quatre offered with a weak smile as Trowa gave a noncommittal sound rather than actually speak. "Trowa and Heero set up the tripwires that launched water balloons full of chicken gravy, then both of them built the rig in the bathroom that was supposed to launch a washtub full of shaving cream at him."

Relena decided to not mention to the pair in question that their rigs had worked perfectly (based on Noin's complaints) as it was better to leave them in suspense for the moment then let them gloat in their own ways later. Was she honestly impressed that Heero and Trowa had set up two different traps like that in what was most likely a very short amount of time? Well...on some level, yes...but on the rest she sort of expected the pair to bend the laws of space, time, and even physics (more than once) to their will when they put their minds to it.

"All that I did was soak all of his clothes in pink dye then shove them into his refrigerator and freezer." Wufei said with a dismissive shrug as he opened the bag of pretzels. Heero glanced over with both eyebrows raised. "You ran out of room and dumped a basketful into his bed."

"True." Was all that the martial artist said, until... "Which all counts as a 'prank', not a 'booby trap'."

"You filled his shampoo and conditioner with pink dye as well." Trowa broke in, only for Wufei to bite into one of his pretzel sticks as if to completely ignore the other former pilot.

Relena shook her head once more and steepled her fingers at her chin. "That's two pranks, technically, and three booby traps down...so, Duo?"

"I replaced his stereo with a motion-controlled one that fires paintballs."

Despite all present having to blink in confusion, Quatre was the only one who was willing to voice the unanimous question... "Where did you get a motion-controlled stereo that fires paintballs?"

"I know a guy who'll make pretty much make anything you can come up with if you get him to drink a third of a bottle of tequila."

"Is this the same guy who got drunk on vodka and managed to hack through the first three layers of firewalls at Preventers HQ in your attempt to alter your evaluations in a way that didn't make all of you seem like, quote, "crazy people in dire need of straitjackets and medication", unquote?" Relena asked as she tried to keep the grin off her face...only for Duo to smile and take a long pull from his soda in a clear indication of 'I refuse to incriminate myself'.

"But...I don't need a straitjacket or medication? Why did my review say that?" Quatre quietly asked...to which no one in the room was willing to even attempt to answer that question as none of them wanted to see Quatre angry nor did they want to see Trowa get defensive. Neither one of those possible options were situations that anyone would come out of it looking pretty.

"I love that you'll be our group alibi, Relena." Hilde chimed in as a desperate attempt to steer the conversation completely away from any and all thoughts of straitjackets and pills. Relena, however, merely rolled her eyes before giving a dismissive flip of her hand. "Alibis and bail money, that's my job...and in exchange no one in this room tells anyone that I'm the one who signed my brother up for all of those spam male enhancement pamphlets, impotence treatment ads, and virtual dating websites."

All six just nodded and looked back to the table as Relena checked through her notes. "Now...where was I?"

"The magic-using baroness was about to speak into a jewel on her bracelet." Hilde helpfully supplied. For now, Dungeons and Dragons...for later, she needed to join in with the pranking of the crazy brother. After all...she couldn't let Relena and their guys keep having all the fun.

This whole little chapter idea wouldn't leave me alone, thus that is why it exists.
Also...I can't resist the idea that Relena would be extremely subtle in embarrassing/inconveniencing someone with spam mail while the guys just go whole hog.