Another day at Preventers HQ...and another day to test Une, Noin, and Zechs' respective sanity just because why not? Enjoy.

One breakdown, Two breakdown, Red breakdown, Blue breakdown.

"I DO NOT FEAR THE DARK SIDE!"

Une paused in the hallway, casting a wary look at the door to an office that she dreaded entering or even going near. Just being in the vicinity of that office made her fear for her sanity, her blood pressure, and, quite honestly, made her have to fight back the urge to drink until the walls started to wiggle. Noin, having stopped walking as soon as Une did, stared at the door that looked so innocent and inconspicuous...yet she knew all too well what horrors were behind it. "Is...that Maxwell's voice?"

"You should!"

Both women stared at each other because there was no way in whatever Heaven or Hell that existed, Trowa Barton had just...no. No, just no. He never raised his voice...they weren't even sure that he knew how to raise his voice. It was Trowa after all and he barely talk-

A sudden loud whack noise echoed out into the hall, quickly followed by the all-too-familiar thud of a human body hitting a floor...and the rapid-fire and surprisingly creative cursing of one Duo Maxwell. Noin stared at the door, a part of her curious on just where exactly the former pilot had learned to swear like that at his age...though she decided, soon enough, that the guilty parties had to, probably, be one of those doctors behind the Gundams, or the boy being around soldiers in combat for so long.
Though Change Wufei could equally be at fault since that boy could have quite the multi-lingual mouth on him when he was furious.

Une, however, just closed her eyes and breathed out a heavy sigh as she resisted the urge to rub at her temples or pinch the bridge of her nose. "Those boys are my punishment for everything that I have done."

"Like killing my sister's adoptive father?" Zechs questioned, standing opposite the two women and giving the closed office door the same wary look as the cursing continued. If anything, Zechs wanted to be as far away from that door right then as most people with even the slightest bit of common sense would want to be away from a particularly clumsy idiot juggling bottles of nitroglycerin while tap-dancing in a field of landmines.
Zechs blinked as he considered what he had just thought...then came to the conclusion that he might need to hold off on finishing the video game that was waiting for him on his home laptop, for at least a solid week so that he could deprogram himself from making rambling metaphors like that ever again.

Une, on the other hand, leveled a particularly murderous glare on the platinum blond. In all honesty, a part of her wanted so badly to just shoot him...but she restrained herself only due to the rest of her not wanting to deal with Noin's violent reaction after the act in question. Though that thought did remind her that she might need to still send Noin in for a full psych evaluation just to be on the safe side in case something ever did...'happen'. "Either be quiet, or I can and will make certain that you only get the worst assignments that I can send your way, for a month."

Zechs just shrugged, completely and utterly unrepentant, as well as unphased by the threat...before he looked away from the door as Duo's cursing continued to filter out into the corridor. He raised a brow in almost admiration at hearing a string of insults in a mix of languages that was both scathing and quite impressive for what he was able to translate on his own. "We can all just walk away. We don't have to acknowledge them. We can just let them kill each other."

Une opened her mouth, a scathing reprimand at the ready about how the five were not only her employees but partly their responsibility...only for Noin to cut her off by smacking the once-Lightning Count upside his head with a manila folder not unlike one would do to a particularly errant child. As the man rubbed at the back of his head and gave Noin a genuinely confused and slightly hurt look, the dark-haired woman gave an irritated scowl in return to her lover. "No. We cannot...because trying to keep them from killing each other and-or getting hurt is how you are going to build a relationship with your younger sister."

Did Une almost crack a smile at the displeased noise from Zechs? Yes, yes she did...and his irritated grumbling at Noin's back about the five ex-pilots constantly pranking him only made things a bit better. As much as she didn't approve of the chaos...there had been a certain comedy about seeing Zechs with pastel "baby pink" hair for the majority of a week until he was able to get a day off to go to a salon and have them fix things. Even if she didn't want Zechs to go full genocidal again...it was just a smidge nice to know that someone would, unknowingly, get back at the platinum blond if he ever pushed her patience and temper too far...and all that it took was just discreetly putting the five ex-pilots and the former Count in one another's visual and/or auditory vicinity...
Unfortunately, the otherwise pleasant break in her mood soured as soon as she saw Noin about to...no. She had opened the door.

Inside of the office, Duo was sitting on the floor, alternating between rubbing his head and clutching at it while he continued to swear a veritable blue streak at Trowa, who was crouched down next to him and trying to examine the long-haired pilot's scalp for any signs of serious injury. Laying next to the pair was a set of...were those 'yard sticks'? Yes, Une was sure that was what those over-sized rulers were...though why one had been painted an almost-neon red and the other bright neon-blue was beyond her. On a similar note, Une decided fairly quickly that she did not want to know why the pair were wearing bathrobes over their work clothes, as she was sure that the answers would be harmful to her sanity.

Heero was sitting at his desk, surprisingly seeming to be ignoring the chaos on the floor in favor of scrolling through something on his phone. After a second or so, he picked up a pencil next to him and wrote something down on a piece of paper...before folding the paper into the most basic form of a paper airplane and sending it flying across the room to Wufei...who was sitting at his own desk, focused completely on his computer and wearing a large pair of, most likely, noise-canceling headphones completely covering his ears while doing a passable impression of pretending that he was the sole human being left on the planet after an apocalyptic scenario. The Chinese ex-pilot eventually unfolded the airplane, read it, then promptly balled the paper up and hurled it back across the room at Heero's head like a fastball...only for the former mercenary/assassin/"living weapon" to slide his rolling chair to the right so that he could dodge the incoming projectile...that just bounced harmlessly off of the wall behind him.

Quatre, oddly enough, appeared to be missing in action. By all rights, one of the quintet missing from the office would normally make Une far more suspicious if not ready to throw out an order for all available hands to seek out the missing former pilot and return them to the office...but Quatre was the lone good one out of the five and she was fairly certain that, as long as the others were not present to influence him in any way, shape, or form, that the blond wouldn't cause any trouble. She quickly smothered down the part of her that reminded her that the "sweet boy" was still an ex-Gundam pilot and still-current leader of a mercenary cult, and was, as such, still completely capable of his own breed of chaos.
As much as she hated it, Une needed to hold onto that fragile, little illusion that one of the five was good and would not drive her to drink.

"What the actual Hell is going on in this room?" Noin questioned loud enough to draw three of the remaining four's attention onto herself, Une, and Zechs...the last of whom was staying outside of the door in a blatant refusal to willingly step into the "Den of Disaster" as a few Preventers had coined the term for the ex-pilots' joint-office. After all, Zechs may not be the most mentally sound and emotionally stable of individuals, but he wasn't nearly far gone nor drunk enough to willingly subject himself to any of the five who regularly made his days frustrating enough that he contemplated throwing four of the five out of the airlock on a shuttle.
If not for the fact that Relena would actually kill him herself and Hilde would make it look like a freak accident if he ever made or hinted at wanting to make such an attempt...no. Stop. No murder thoughts today.

Heero just looked unphased by the interruption. "We are working on something."

Noin looked down at Duo and Trowa...the long-haired male finally quieting down enough so that Trowa could finish examining his head for injury, and seemingly pronounce him as being fine if Trowa's now completely unconcerned expression was anything to go by. The woman turned her gaze back to Heero, only for Une to finally step forward. As much as she was already weighing in on what alcohol, and how much, she was going to need after this, she was the one in charge here after all. "This is 'working on something'?"

Heero glanced down at Duo and Trowa as Trowa not only helped Duo back to his feet, but handed him the blue-painted 'yard stick' while the sometimes-clown picked up his own red one. After a moment of silence, Heero spoke up in the same completely unphased, if not completely "dead" sounding tone: "Wufei and I are working on something."

"I was introducing Tro' to Star Wars. You know he's never seen it before? Never even heard of it." Duo said quickly, a hand moving to cover his heart as if the very idea of such a thing was causing him physical harm. "I wouldn't be a good friend and all if I didn't take the time out of my busy, busy day to properly educate him on such an important piece of pop cultural knowledge that he has been so terribly deprived of."

Despite herself, Une just couldn't help but think that the boy had missed his calling as an actor...just as the long-haired ex-pilot gave the three in the doorway what he probably thought was a 'crowd winning smile', but only made Une think of particularly-unsavory used car salesman hoping to get someone to buy a piece of scrap-ready junk for the price of a brand-new luxury car. Duo swung an arm around the taller ex-pilot, pulling him in for a one-armed hug...only for Trowa to just give a small shrug of his shoulders and offer no explanations for anything. Though, considering that it was Trowa, everyone pretty much had expected that.

Une just pressed two fingers firmly to her temple as she tried to will away the tension threatening to turn into a full-blown headache. Despite knowing that it would only make things worse, she looked back at Heero. "And what exactly are Chang and you working on, Yuy? None of this looks even remotely like work that I would assign any of you five."

Heero just glanced back at whatever was on his phone and the typed up sheets of paper on his desk...then looked back up at Une. "Wedding planning."

Une tried to ignore the bizarrely high-pitched and strangled-sounding noise from outside of the office as, with any luck, Zechs had just choked himself to death on his own oxygen and she could pass things off as a 'freak' "act of God" style of accident so that Noin wouldn't be able to rationalize away doing something utterly deranged due to her devotion towards the man. Not that Une had much of a leg to stand on considering her past behavior regarding...no. Nope, nope, nope. Not going there. Never again. "What are you really working on, Yuy."

Behind her, Noin was reassuring Zechs that no...there was absolutely no way, no how, on this planet or the colonies that his sister was going to marry any one, nor all five, of the ex-pilots and/or Hilde...it was just a new way for Heero to screw with Zechs.
Une really did not want to order Zechs to go back to a therapist...he was already on his sixth one and therapists were expensive damnit.

Heero just glanced at the three at the door, then over to Duo and Trowa (the long-haired pilot looking far too eager and curious at the trio in the doorway for Une's liking if she were to be completely honest) only for Trowa to give him a small shrug in response before the sometimes-clown walked over and proceeded to poke Wufei in the neck hard enough that the Chinese pilot finally jerked his headphones off and snarled out a: "What do you want, Barton?! I'm bus-why are you wearing a bathrobe?"
Okay...so clearly Wufei had no clue what had been going on around him today...and that realization made everything even more concerning.

"Duo was introducing me to Star Wars." Trowa said before he tilted his head in the direction of the doorway. "Apparently we drew attention to ourselves when I hit Duo over the head with my 'lightsaber'."

"Lucky shot!" Duo shouted, snapping his attention away from the door, only to turn a glare on Heero the moment that the other ex-pilot deadpanned: "It really wasn't."

"He cursed a lot and was particularly loud, in all fairness." Trowa said as if he had not heard, or at least was not going to acknowledge, that Duo and Heero had interrupted him, nor that Duo was now at Heero's desk and complaining while Heero was casually, and calmly, poking holes in every single one of the other pilot's attempts at arguing and/or defending his 'lightsaber-dueling' skills.

Wufei, however, just stared at the doorway, then looked over at the remaining three of their little group...only to finally focus on the headphones in his hands not unlike they were a priceless gift from some kind of divine being from the heavens. Really, they were probably just something that Relena or Quatre had gifted to him. "These are the greatest noise-cancelling headphones that have ever existed. I heard absolutely nothing. Every last one of you could have been getting violently murdered right in front of me and all that I would know was absolute peace, quiet, and tranquility."
Une considered it a testament to how long that she'd dealt with these five that she was only mildly bothered by Wufei's statement...then worried if she should be more concerned.

"Bullshit, 'Fei! If we were gettin' murdered, you would be throwing those things away to either help us survive or join us in the afterlife!" Duo shouted as he crossed the space between him and Wufei's desk to point an accusing finger at the other male...who responded by, lightly by his standards, smacking Duo on the forehead with a rolled up sheaf of papers like the brunette was a disobedient puppy in need of correction. "Do not point your finger at me, Maxwell."
No one seemed to acknowledge that Wufei was not denying Duo's words.

"Chang." Une snapped, honestly getting frustrated with all of this...though internally filing away that she should be very concerned about just how 'devoted' to each other that the four out of five were to each other, and to Quatre who was probably the same...and now she was wondering if that level of 'devotion' extended to include Hilde and, more importantly, Relena. Could she order a diplomat who did not work for her into a psych evaluation for their own good? "What are you 'working on' with Yuy?"

"Wedding plans."

Une wisely decided to, once more, ignore the horrific-sounding noises of the dying and/or awakening dead coming from Zechs in the blind hope that, one way or another, they would stop on their own. She didn't care what stopped those particular sounds, only that they needed to stop somehow. "What are you two really working on."

Wufei cast a genuinely confused look to Heero, only for the other to return the expression with his own variation...and then both looked at Trowa, who merely shrugged once more, and Duo, who was rubbing his forehead and grousing about everyone hitting him in the head. After a moment, the former three all said in deadpan unison: "Wedding planning."

Noin was supporting Zechs who was repeating "no" over and over again in the background, while Une looked suspiciously at the four in front of her because no. This had to be a joke that all four of the ex-pilots were in on. This was just a joke and a new way for them to mess with Zechs and to try her patience. There was no way that-

"Excuse me, everyone." Quatre said cheerfully as he squeezed past the distressed Zechs and quickly-approaching-flustered Noin so that he could enter the office. Oblivious to the tension in, and partly outside of, the room, the blond walked over to Wufei's desk with a pleasant smile on his face. "Here you are, Wufei. I brought you your matcha tea that you asked for."

Wufei took the lidded paper cup in hand, offering a quiet "thank you", before he took a sip of the still-hot liquid inside and tilted his head back some to savor the flavor. Quatre turned to Trowa and handed him a lidded, clear plastic cup. "Your banana, peach, and mango smoothie, Trowa."

Trowa took the offered cup and placed a kiss to the blond's cheek before he took a sip of his drink. Quatre passed another lidded paper cup to Duo, who eagerly threw an arm around the blond's shoulders, pulling him into a tight hug before Quatre could even speak beyond a laugh, as he accepted his 'mocha'. Once Duo released him, Quatre walked over to Heero and handed him a tall, colorful can. "And your energy drink of death, Heero."

Heero nodded his thanks and popped the can open, before draining probably a quarter of it in one go as Quatre picked up his own clear, plastic cup containing the milkshake that he had purchased for himself. The blond looked over at the three at the doorway, blinking innocently at them not unlike a particularly adorable, big-eyed pet. "Oh, hello. Is something going on?"

Une wanted to believe that the boy was innocent of anything to do with this chaos, she really did...and if he wasn't, then he was a masterful actor himself. "...Do you know what Chang and Yuy are working on? What they are really working on?"
Please...don't disappoint her. Please.

"Hmm...I think that they were working on wedding planning before I left-er...is he alright?" Quatre asked as Zechs let out a noise not unlike steam escaping from a kettle, then just seemingly lost consciousness, or the will to live, and became a dead weight practically draping over Noin, who had to brace herself at the sudden shift in weight, and had now started cursing under her breath in a language that Une couldn't bother herself to want to acknowledge nor translate at the moment. Une clenched her eyes shut and just turned and stalked out of the office while Noin made tracks to haul Zechs down to the infirmary in a blind hope that Sally had smelling salts.

Quatre blinked as the door slammed shut behind Une, before he looked back around the room...as Duo doubled over in laughter the second that they could no longer hear the two conscious members of the trio's retreating footsteps or Noin's cursing. "He freaking passed out! 'Lena's gonna love it!"

Trowa slipped an arm around Quatre and tugged his boyfriend to his side, taking the chance to explain what had happened in the blond's absence while Duo practically collapsed with laughter onto Wufei's desk at the same time as Heero texted Relena to let her know what had just happened and Wufei just rolled his eyes before he looked back at his computer screen. "We still need to narrow down things here. Relena did say that she would be questioning us tonight."

If anyone noticed him discreetly, and gently, rubbing at the spot where Trowa had hit Duo over head, as if to soothe away any remaining pain, well...no one in the room would call Wufei out on showing any manner of care towards any of them.
After all, why would any of them be stupid enough to want that to stop?

I think I broke Zechs.
In other news...I now want matcha.