Another thing that Merlin was not really a fan of, was ever since Arthur had sent in their marriage certificate and other paperwork, and started the process of becoming legal again, he was given a caseworker. It was needless to say, this man was a bastard. His name was John, John K to be exact. That was how he always ended his emails anyway, and he was awful. He always sent the most off-putting emails possible. They always had little jabs in them, like 'If you get approved,' or 'If you don't get deported in the meantime,' like Arthur was some horrible person or something, and Merlin's very favorite; 'If you and your "husband" do not fail the interview,' He had honestly put husband in quotations and Merlin had to fight Arthur not to send back a rude message. Arthur had said to ignore him but Merlin couldn't. This seemed like something Arthur would be angry about on any normal given day, he had really wanted to fight Gwaine at their reception just for calling Merlin a twink and for honestly just being there at all, so he should be angry at this John K too, but Merlin supposed Arthur's want to stay in the country was much greater than his need to kick this man's ass.

After a few months Arthur stopped reading the emails John K sent to Merlin and Merlin mostly forgot about his exitance, as he much preferred it that way anyway. Until one day when Arthur had just came home from an interview. He had looked quite sharp, Merlin had convinced him to wear this burgundy suit he had, instead of his usual black one. Like the ones he wore at Market King's. Along with a gold tie. He looked a bit like a pimp but Merlin kept that to himself, in case Arthur didn't get the job. Merlin didn't want blamed for it. But Merlin never got to ask how it went, because just as soon as Arthur had come in, and stripped off the suit jacket and golden tie, the door bell rang. Merlin got it, since Arthur was a little busy undressing, he pulled the door open to be met with a short, old man. He wore a charcoal grey suit and no tie, and his grey hair was spikey. It came to a point in various spots, along with the one on his face. He had a full grey beard, which also was pointy.

"Hello?" offered Merlin, he was sure this man was trying to sell him something.

"Is this the home of Arthur...-" he looked down at a wad of papers in his hand. "And Merlin Pendragon?"

"Uh, yeah?" offered Merlin in return, almost confused. Hearing his name as Pendragon still got him sometimes, he mostly forgot about the change, he never used it really. He still used Anderson for his uni stuff.

"My name is Johnathan Kilgharrah, with the office of Immigration," said the man, in a wheezing voice, as he looked up at Merlin and raised a thick, judging eyebrow. "Which one might you be?"

Merlin's eyes widened and he didn't move to let the man in. "I'm Merlin."

"Ah, the husband, yes...well, is Mr. Pendragon home?" offered the man and Merlin almost called for Arthur, but he stopped himself and glared at him.

"I am Mr. Pendragon," he retorted. John K, or whatever his name was, looked with interest at Merlin and pulled a smile.

"I suppose you are, silly me..." he forced a chuckle. "Is your husband in?"

Merlin thought that this man knew damn well Arthur was home, it was all just a game. "Yes, he is," said Merlin pointedly. "Do you need to speak to him?"

"Why, yes..." said the man, with an air of innocence, but that was all bullshit. Merlin could feel it. "I have a few questions to ask him, some of which might be better answered in person."

Merlin frowned and turned around, leaving the door open for John K, who eagerly followed inside. Merlin walked over to the stairs, which he knew Arthur had just gone up and he started shouting. "Arthur!" he yelled out. "Someone is here to see you..."

Merlin tuned back and glared at John K, not bothering to speak to him. There was just something about him that Merlin didn't like, he didn't know what. But he would find out soon enough. Arthur came down stairs, not very quickly, he came down in jeans and a random red shirt. He was not at all fancy anymore, which might have been better, for dealing with this guy. Prove Arthur had more class than him.

"Ah, Arthur...about time," said John K, and offered his hand. "I am Johnathan Kilgharrah, we have been speaking over email for some months now." Arthur's mouth dropped and he looked over at Merlin with worry. Merlin only shrugged. "No need to be alarmed, Mr. Pendragon, I only came over to ask you a few rather...intimate questions."

"Alright...?" said Arthur, a bit slowly, still looking rather confused. John K laughed at this and Arthur showed him to the sitting room, Merlin followed behind them. All three of them sat, Merlin next to Arthur on purpose and John K in one of the red sitting chairs. They all just stared at each other after this, for a long time.

"First, allow me to explain to you both what I do," said John K now, his voice had changed a little, still wheezing, but now just a little more stuck up. "I am part of a specialist group, within our small office of immigration experts. I am the one they call when things seem odd...and oh, do things seem odd here."

Merlin felt his skin go hot and Arthur went stiff next to him. "What do you mean?" said Arthur now, much less polite and much more pointed. John K grinned at them.

"You had a very quick wedding, one does wonder why," he spoke then, slyness heavy in his voice and his words almost sung from his lips. His eyes landed on Merlin and his grin got bigger. "We know neither of you can get pregnant, so why the fast wedding?"

"We were engaged for months before we got married," said Arthur quickly, eyes narrowing at John K.

"Ah, I see...why such a wedding then, if you were engaged for months, why not plan a proper wedding?" said John K. "My files show you got married at a courthouse."

"Probably because if we didn't get married then I was going to be forced to leave the century!" retorted Arthur, and it almost made Merlin happy to see the anger swell in Arthur. It was the same way Merlin was feeling right now, too. "It wasn't exactly our ideal wedding..."

"Hm, I see..." said John K then, and wrote something down on his wad of papers. "This is a question you may be asked if you should be interviewed-"

"And why exactly wouldn't we be?" shot Merlin then, and he had really tried to be quiet, but he hated John K so much he wanted to scream at him. "I don't see any reason why we shouldn't be interviewed."

"Anything may happen up until that time," said John K then, looking amused at Merlin's outburst. "The interview does not normally take place until one or two years into the marriage. That is a long time."

"Not that long," said Merlin, and John K laughed again.

"Anyway," he said, pointedly. "This may come up in the interview, but how exactly did you two meet?"

"I interned at the company Arthur worked for, I was his assistant," said Merlin, just as pointedly. He wanted to make sure John K knew he didn't like him at all. Merlin didn't care what that might mean for Arthur's status, he just wanted John K out of their house. "That's how..."

"Mm," said John K. "And how did you start dating?"

"Pretty much how everyone starts dating!" retorted Merlin, and John K raised his eyebrow at this. "Arthur asked me out, I said yes...it wasn't very complicated."

"Interesting," said John K, writing more things down on his paper. "Let Arthur answer this one, who proposed to who? You did say it was months before you got married, when was it exactly?"

"Christmas," said Arthur, quickly. He glanced over to Merlin now and gave him a look, Merlin wasn't sure what it meant, but if it meant play along, well...Merlin already was. "Actually, Christmas eve, as Merlin spent Christmas day with his family."

"Why didn't you attend his family gathering with him?"

This question seemed to get Arthur and he stared confused for a few seconds, before he shook his head. John K clearly noticed this. "I had not actually met his family at that point, we had kept our relationship rather private."

"Private?" asked John K. "Yet you found it a good idea to propose?"

"I was a foolish man in love," retorted Arthur. "I still don't regret it now."

"I'm sure you do not," offered John K in return, with a snip. Looking rather pleased all the same. "And lastly...how many times a week would you say you two partake in intercourse?"

Arthur's mouth fell open, yet again, for the second time in front of this man. And Merlin, all he could do was feel the deep levels of rage fill his entire soul. "How is that any of your God damn business?!" Merlin retorted then. "We don't have to answer that!"

"You surely do not," said John K. His voice once again filled with slickness. "But remember this, refusal to answer any question is an answer in itself."

Merlin huffed, shaking his head. He bit his lip in thought and crossed his arms in anger. He wanted to say five, but that seemed like too much, even for really big horndogs who really, actually liked each other. But three, his other choice, seemed like an old couples pick, so he settled in the middle. "Four," he retorted. "But it really depends on our mood, if you must know...sometimes it's more. We do live alone, after all."

John K didn't seem very interested or impressed by this answer and he wrote something down on his paper, and then stood up. "I think that will be all for today."

He said that as if there would be another time and more questions, Merlin didn't think he could stomach it.

"I'll see you out," said Arthur and he stood up as well. They both walked out, leaving Merlin sitting there, with his skin crawling. He heard the door shut and he got up then and walked out of the room. Arthur was still standing by the door, frowning at it as if it had offended him. "Well...that went well," he said, not looking over at Merlin and Merlin walked closer to him, still frowning. "He say's he will be back soon...God I hope not."

Merlin wanted to continuing pouting, but the way Arthur said that made him smile. "Why does he think we're odd?"

"I suppose because we are..." said Arthur, pushing away from the door and looking back toward Merlin now. He ran a stressful hand through his blond hair, looking over Merlin's form. "We're going to have to really get our story straight. Make it believable, like it actually fucking happened."

"Only you, me and Gwen know it didn't..." Merlin trailed off. "To everyone else it did happen, just like that. No one needs to know anything else."


(A/N: I am finding it a bit of a struggle to write and even update with work and school, if updates are short that is why. I would also like to point out some things real quick as well. On this and the other site I post this story on, I have been getting a lot of comments about the relationship between Merlin/Arthur/Gwen and I didn't really think I had to clear any of this up but maybe some ppl are getting confused by the plot here. Merlin and Gwen are bother and sister, so there is no relationship between the three of them. Gwen is Arthur's girlfriend and Merlin is kind of the third-wheel even though he is technically Arthur's husband. That is what makes this story so interesting to me. The dynamic between Merlin and Arthur and then the dynamic between Merlin, Arthur and Gwen. The actual romance between Arthur and Gwen is separate from Merlin and whatever relationship that may or may not form between Merlin and Arthur is also separate from Gwen. Let's not get weird here. Thanks for listening to my Ted Talk. Also, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. This is one of my favorites, because it introduces one of my favorite elements (Gwen free element btw) of the story.)