Well my dear readers, I hope you are enjoying it.

Now continuing with our story, remember reviews are always welcome.

Disclaimer: Obviously J'onn is not mine, if he were there would have been more screen time of him and less Superman.


Chapter Two

The beginning

A week. A full week. That's how long it has been. A full week of no J'onn.

I seem to have gotten addicted to his mental touch, so much so I don't feel like doing anything except reminisce about the feel of his hands, the echoes of his voice and the soothing aura that seems to engulf me when he's nearby.

Needless to say I've not been very productive the entire week. The urge to spill red rubies has faded from blaring a horn at me to rapping on my door at odd hours of the night. It's almost become manageable.

Wonder how things went for J'onn.. Would he contact me again? Or is he injured and unable to visit?!

Suddenly, being seated at the window is impossible, I need to do something. Anything! I get up and pace the ends of my room.

How do I contact him?

Should I try to? What if he's busy? What if he's on a mission?

Even if I could contact him, what on earth do I say? What reason have I to intrude upon his day to day life?

Do I have a right to?

Four full laps across the room and I've lost track of my thoughts, it's a valid question whether I have a right to try to contact him. He's clearly a busy man. Err.. Alien. I'm making this complicated aren't I? Yes I am.

I could wait till he finds me again but question is will he see a need to do so. The only reason he visited me last time was because I had pleaded to no one in particular for an intervention, so unless J'onn being the polite, gentle creature that he is, feels that we have unfinished business due to his urgent departure, I'm pretty sure I won't see him.

Sigh.. "I truly wish I could figure out how to visit your mind like you did mine, J'onn."

The handmade skull on my table stares at me as if I've lost a few marbles but he already knew I was running on the last few marbles as it were. He's been a lovely friend to me, nonjudgmental and silent. His expressions always changes in my mind's eye to reflect amusement or a berating glint when I've gone and done something exceptionally stupid.

I never regret sculpting him and bringing him home. I only wish I could've brought the Terra Cotta solider I made, home as well. Such a pity, he came out so well too.

Plopping back down by the window all I want to do I get lost in memories of J'onn. J'onn is safe, J'onn is pure even though I stumbled into him after blood loss memories of him don't spiral into thoughts that depress me. They lift me into a state of daydreaming and contemplations on telepathy. Even though I'm quite sure what we've engaged in is not telepathy.

Not telepathy and not astral projections either, so what exactly is it. Could it be some Martian trick? But if it were, there's no way that I would have been the one to initiate our contact. However I've never had such an experience with anyone else either so what exactly have J'onn and I been engaging in?

All sorts of theories build themselves up in my mind while the sun sets across the sky. The sky turning pleasing shades of orange and red. Red. The sky has that same shade of red as J'onn's eyes took when he was reading my mind. The more time I spend observing, the more little things remind me of him.

Distorted reflections of myself from any golden surface reminds me of the gold buckles on his cape. Various shades of blue remind me of his swishing cape although I'm yet to encounter the particular shade of green that is his skin anywhere else. But nothing makes as big an impact as red. Its become a very important color to me.

I could take up meditation practices again and see if I can contact J'onn without stumbling around trying to get in touch with no idea how I succeeded. Meditation takes a lot of practice though. I used to engage in it years ago. Perhaps after dinner, before bed I can attempt it.

Tears had become a common thing this entire week. For someone who prided herself in hardly ever breaking down, I had started an alarming rate of crying this week. It was nothing like the sobbing seen in movies, it was straight overflow of tears and silent tremors. I can feel my limit approaching, all I want is a solid bottle of double black scotch and a bucket of ice. I want to drink away all the memories, drink away into sleep and dreams. Drink away to.. Oblivion..

So many wants, none of the them healthy come to think of it. It's definitely different to feel less inclined to partake in self destructive actions. I guess I should thank J'onn for the lift in my emotions. Sleeping sounds lovely. I'm exhausted from thinking.

A dreamless state of sleep. It's clearing up into the balcony of my mind palace. Hmm...

"J'onn?"

His large hand falls onto my shoulder, turning around the joy I feel is indescribable. He's wearing a simple smile on a tired looking face. At my questioning eyebrow he drops his hand, explaining.

"It was a difficult mission, I'm afraid I received considerable more than I gave."

"Is this not draining you, J'onn? Being here with me?" I'm under no illusion as to how much effort is needed for making telepathic contact and given how tired J'onn looks I can almost feel the strain.

"It is not much trouble, come, sit down." he guides me to my couch and sits us both down. I take up my favorite activity, gazing at J'onn. He smiles at me, "How have you been?"

"Considerably well J'onn, perhaps not productive but better. Tell me about your mission?" I love the low pitch of his voice and he never seems to talk much.

"Well," he starts off about how it went and how he got tazed repeatedly. Now that he mentions it I can see the slightly darkened burn marks on his chest. My hand is half way up to touch it when I realize that J'onn for all his uniform's functionality is practically shirtless. J'onn is looking at me curiously and I flush a dark crimson and drop my hand. His eyes fall to the mark on his chest as well, then to my flushed cheeks and he captures my hand pulling it back up before dropping his hand from mine.

The marks are healing right before my eyes. My fingers catch on the rough texture of his burns and I can feel his healing changing the color back to his normal skin tone. He impossibly firm, his chest hardly gives under the pressure I apply to it. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with this being a mind realm or if he truly is of that dense a muscle tone. Either way he feels intensely masculine and I can feel something in me acknowledging that.

The marks are slowly fading away as I drop my hand J'onn has his eyes fixed firmly on me, following my moves with his eyes. It's hard to pinpoint what he is focusing on given his lack of pupils but his stare can be felt regardless. Looking up at him I can see the exhaustion on his face along with something new I haven't seen before. He looks almost wistful and its everything I can do to stop myself from asking how I can ease that look away from his face.

I want to feel him in a realm that isn't my mind. To physically know how he feels, to grow familiar with his scent and his touch. I want to show him my world, introduce him to my home and show him the things I like. How possible would that be? He's far, far away on a satellite station orbiting the earth. He could probably get himself teleported though I'm not too certain if I should bring it up.

All these thoughts flutter through in under a minute and J'onn is still looking at me thoughtfully. He's growing more tired by the minute.

"J'onn, do you think its possible that I meet you in reality?" I'm studiously observing his features for any idea of what he feels about my suggestion. "Not in each others mind but somewhere where you don't have to create yourself in my mind.

He almost cups my face before his hand drops away. He's wearing an impossible to read expression as he nods.

I'm not sure if he's happy with my suggestion.

"I will arrange for that. Where would you like to meet?"

"A park?"

I'm pretty sure he knows which one seeing as how he's in my mind after all but really, I'd be fine with any place he suggests. He nods in agreement and shuts his eyes for a few seconds. My heart wrings in sympathy for him, I place a hand on his forearm, capturing his attention.

"J'onn, you need rest. Your face is near impossible to read and I can clearly see how tired you are which is saying a lot." he chuckles at my words and it's the most wonderful sound I've ever heard.

"You are correct, I should take my leave."

His fingers touch my temple and I wake up to my bed once more. It's still dark outside, 3.00am. Hmmm... Plenty of time for J'onn-less sleep.

Ever since J'onn agreed to meet me at the park I've been excited and looking forward to it. Because of how hurt he was after his mission I did not expect to hear from him till at least another week had passed but today is just the following day and its hardly 5 in the evening when I hear J'onn's voice in my head.

"Meet me at the park."

He doesn't need to say which, I know exactly where he is. The only park I visit is Victoria Park. A huge area with trees growing in different densities as one walks deeper into the park. Its a place I frequent to draw people and nature. If you go beyond the crowded first few yards of the park and into the trees, all of the city's noise gets blocked and the only thing you hear is your breathing.

In less than 10 minutes I am dressed in a denims and my favorite white t shirt. I grab my purse and shoes and drive off to the park. I can feel whatever link J'onn has created in my mind getting stronger the closer I get to my destination. He's a strong, calm presence in my mind. Parking my car I walk along the pavement to the park entrance and wait a minute.. How do I find J'onn? He's obviously disguised! Why didn't I think of that!

A solid hand falls on my shoulder. Ooo this man just loves to start off like that doesn't he?

Yep, turning around looking into brown eyes is not what I was expecting. All his features are translated into a human's. The definition is still there but he looks normal and its unsettling after having gotten used to seeing red eyes and green skin. But the weight of his hand is the same.. If I touch him, will he feel as dense as he did before?

"Come."

It's the same soothing voice, the same deep rumble which comforts me. I can feel the link at its highest strength and yes, this is definitely J'onn. Even if he happens to be olive skinned and dark eyed with artfully combed hair (how does he do that?) this is still J'onn.

I figure I'll let him lead and see where he goes. Funny how we seem to never talk much. A pity really. His voice is probably what chocolate sounds like. If chocolate had a voice that is.

There are children playing around us, most of them are trying to stall going home. People are packing up blankets and getting ready for walks. Some are dozing off. J'onn is looking around him curiously and I'm more interested in looking at him. Its almost as if we've come to some silent agreement to just walk away from the crowds and into the more isolated area of the park in the thicker tree growth. He's guiding us to my favorite spot!

Looking up at him, he's wearing that gentle smile, damn I forget he's not green at the moment! I just keep seeing him in his superhero uniform even though he's in denims and a navy blue turtleneck. In the physical realm.. No longer my mind or his mind. If I walk closer can I smell him? Maybe just a bit closer...

Wow. There's nothing to describe the scent of this man. The hint of dark wood found in overly expensive cologne and fresh smell of rain. That's the only thing that even comes close to what he smells like. Am I wearing my perfume? Darn it I can't remember! Ummm... J'onn is giving me a quizzical look, like I've done something adorable. Uh oh..

"Are you reading my mind or am I broadcasting my thoughts?"

His laughter is enough to warm a soul. Even if it is at my expense.

"Humans are not used to thinking to themselves. Their thoughts are always broadcasted. I always hear them even when I don't want to." His eyed are twinkling at me as we loose the masses of people and enter the woods. Whatever noise there was earlier has died gradually with each step we've taken. His breathing is almost audible now. Deep, flowing breaths which expand his human chest. He's reaching over me to pull out the hidden blanket and books I store in the hollow of the large tree I consider mine. There's electricity when I accidentally graze my fingers against his while taking the blanket from him. Unusual. Looks like the real world does differ from the mind.

J'onn sits down next to me and leans against the sturdy tree trunk inhaling deeply, I take up my favorite activity - J'onn gazing.

"Can you change form here?"

His eyes open and I miss the red, pupil less eyes which I've grown familiar with.

"Do you not find this form pleasing?"

Well... To be honest he does look good in his chosen disguise but that's what it is, a disguise. Not the real him. Telling him that should be easy enough.. Why am I avoiding his gaze over something so simple.

Gentle fingers tip my chin till I'm looking at red eyes on the green face I'm used to.

"Tell me."

"I miss your red eyes J'onn." I softly whisper it to him hoping it doesn't come across as odd. After all I should be more comfortable with eyes that look like my own but here I am missing what are clearly alien eyes but it's more than just his eyes and I proceed to blurt out my feelings on his disguise. J'onn absorbs what I say while removing his hand from my face, his expression most thoughtful.

"It is not often that a human prefers a shape that they are unfamiliar with." J'onn tells me thoughtfully. "You intrigue me in your reactions."

I flush crimson from his comment and avert my eyes. By the time I turn to look at him, he has dropped his disguise and the brown eyed human is replaced by the red eyed alien that I am more comfortable with. We're both silently regarding each other neither certain what to say about the turn of conversation or how to proceed. At length J'onn simply smiles at me and leans back against the tree till he's settled comfortably. Looking at the broad expanse of his chest I wistfully wish for the temperature around me to drop so I have an excuse to settle closer to him.

J'onn lets out a rumbling laugh and his arm shoots out to curl across the back of my shoulders, pulling my body against the side of his chest. The realization of just how loudly I must've been thinking strikes me and I feverently wish for the ground to open up and swallow me as I cover my face with my hands.

This is beyond embarrassing. I will have to learn to quieten my thoughts around this telepath if I ever want to get out of this without embarrassing myself further. J'onn's dark chocolate laughter is not helping me in the least as he merrily chuckles and squeezes me to him in amused affection. I conveniently hide my face in his collar, with his blue cape draped over his arm covering me and his warmth radiating into the confined space, a surreal sense of calmness settles around us.

It's the most at peace I've felt in years. J'onn seems just as comfortable and I take this golden opportunity to memorize every detail I can of this moment. Setting my focus on the warm body against me, I register the unique scent that is J'onn and the feel of the soft fabric around me. His golden cape fasteners are just a breath away from me and it offers me a new angle to see from. The golden reflection of his face titled to look at me against his chest is completed with my own reflection in the buckle. I can feel the soft rise and fall of his chest with each breath he takes and his heart is beating steady and strong. My own breathing automatically synchronizes with his while my heart attempts to match the alien beat.

"J'onn, I've never been this relaxed in my life, I'd stay here forever."

He gives my shoulders a squeeze and I tilt my face up to look at him. Up close, I notice his eyes are more than just red. There's edges of maroon and hints of orange in those eyes as they search mine. I wonder if he finds my eyes as fascinating as I find his. Perhaps the novelty of human eyes has worn on him after spending so much time with human eyed superheroes but for me his eyes as enthralling.

"Human interactions are something I have watched from afar but never experienced." J'onn starts telling me meeting my eyes. "Diana has been persistently telling me to get involved, I did not have an opportunity nor did I have an interest until you. Perhaps I shall be able to please her with this knowledge."

J'onn looks like he has finally found what Diana thought he was missing and maybe he has. It makes a lot of sense when you think about it. Here is a creature who will outlive his companions and unless he finds a place in this world, he will feel isolated and lonely. The thought itself makes my heart wince in sympathy. I must have given off some indication of my feelings for J'onn sighs softly.

"It will be many years before I depart from this life. Martians have a long lifespan but that does not mean I will be lonely. Our memories are - were - long lasting. What humans forget in a few years, I will never forget. Each moment I spent, each memory that is precious will keep me alive long after my companions are in the afterlife."

This is the most he has ever said at a stretch and to have it be this melancholic is upsetting. His baritone voice and heavy words impart more sorrow than any other voice probably could have done.

"I apologize, it was not my intension to sadden you." J'onn gives a wistful smile as he realizes just how much he has revealed and how it has wiped the smile from my face. There's nothing I can say to make it alright for him. His situation is unique and not something I will ever experience.

"Its alright J'onn, do you think you would benefit from me as much as I benefit from you if we regularly meet and interact?"

I desperately want to repay this alien who has lifted my spirits with his mere presence and if spending time with humans is what he needs, then I don't see why I shouldn't volunteer specially when being with him brings such joy to me.

"I believe we can." His gaze seems to linger on the features of my face as he says this and I close my eyes against his shoulder. The knowledge that I will be meeting him often fills my heart with happiness, I wrap my arms around his waist and hug him tightly.

Jesus, he's solid muscle! I am barely able to squeeze him! The density of his body makes me feel like a porcelain doll next to him, no wonder J'onn has always touched me gently. Although I somehow can't imagine him ever being violent or aggressive, I know that he's more than capable of it. A superhero's job description is basically public approved violence in capes.

I gently ease back from his chest to look up at him, thinking of him being violent triggers my memories of violent men in my life. I'm lost in my memories but they're now trying to place J'onn into each scenario, somehow he doesn't fit. Him shouting at me in blind fury or him violently barricading me against a wall in anger don't seem right even in my head.

J'onn must've been trying to get my attention. I snap to reality to find myself facing him, his hands at the back of my head pulling me up to face him.

"Look at me." His voice guides my unfocused eyes from staring at nothing to locking eyes with him.

"Look at me, you're safe. Breathe."

A shuddering breath leaves me and I focus on J'onn, his fingers at my neck giving me something to ground myself to as I breathe to match the up and down movements of his chest. I can't even bring myself to be embarrassed, I feel unhinged. J'onn must've heard my thoughts, his movements are undeniable cautious and projected, making sure I can see everything he intends to do before he does it. His hands gently slide to my shoulders and pull me to his chest, his cape coming up to completely envelope me. I tuck my knees under me and close my eyes, absorbing the calm steadiness of J'onn.

My mind starts thinking about what happened and how I ended up going into a near panic attack. J'onn quickly puts an end to that by squeezing me to him.

"Do not think," his baritone voice commands me. "your fears merely tried to claim you. You are safe now."

The mortification I feel is monumental, here we were having a perfectly normal conversion before I stumble into mental minefield only to have this savior alien pull me out of it. If I ever prided myself on being strong, its definitely been taken down a few pegs. J'onn, being the telepathic alien that he is, has obviously picked up this thought of mine and wastes no time in trying to assure me that I am by no means weak. However, he must be able to feel my lack of conviction as I nod along in apathetic agreement to him.

Just weeks ago I had my emotions under control, I would take a blade to my wrist yes, but I didn't panic by any means. J'onn seems to be exuding strength as he tenderly strokes my hair effectively distracting my thoughts as my mind latches onto the soothing sensation. Being calm I notice the sunlight fading away into night and I suddenly realize that its getting late. The park is no place to be after 7pm. Sure being with a superhero would ensure that no harm will behalf me but after 7pm the more base and amoral aspects of human life come out to play and I have no intention of exposing this gentle alien to such inelegant views.

"J'onn, shall we have dinner and a walk if you have no plans for the rest of the day?"

J'onn looks at me for a moment then releases me from his arms and cape with a smile.

"My day is clear for you unless an emergency comes up, dinner sounds like an excellent idea."

He rises and offers his hand to pull me up to my feet. I fold up the blanket and he returns it to my hiding place. We make our way back to my car and J'onn dons his disguise again as we go. To anyone looking we'd just appear like s normal couple, walking close by, smiling at each other and stealing glances.

Night settles completely and the chilly winds start blowing. Why didn't I bring a jacket.. You'd think I'd have thought of things like that after living here for so long. J'onn obviously notices and wraps his arm around my shoulder pulling me closer to shield me from the wind. Its not much help but the act warms my heart as we briskly make our way to my car.

My car feels like a warm haven. J'onn exhales in relief as I turn up the heat and pull onto the road.

"Is there any type of earth food that you like besides oreos?"

The look on his face is priceless.

"Are you certain that I'm the only telepath here?"

I burst out laughing. Its common knowledge that J'onn loves oreos, I remember it being on the papers. On dull days, an alien superhero stopping for oreos makes the gossip news articles, I proceed to tell J'onn just that. He stares at me in something akin to disbelief.

"I promise you J'onn, I'm not lying, I'll show you the article sometime or you can read it off my mind."

"I believe you." J'onn seems rightfully confused by humanity's lack of hobbies. Its impossible not to laugh at his poor, confused face. J'onn usually has such a stoic, straight laced face that seeing him miffed is amusing. "But to answer your question, I have no specific preference."

"Hmm what have you tried so far?"

"Flash has introduced me to various junk food I believe. I am not particularly fond of them. Diana has recommended more healthy food, vegetables taste better."

"Well then J'onn, allow me to take you on a journey of self discovery."