Dear readers,

Make sure to leave a review. I don't know if you all noticed but I've been using qoutes from Justice League to make sure J'onn stays in character.

Disclaimer : J'onn still isn't mine.


Chapter Four

The Joining

J'onn listens intently, his face an impossible mask to read. By the time I'm done pouring out my emotions he appears resigned.

"The anger and hatred doesn't surprise me," he states softly. "But the selfishness and the cheap attempts to hide it. The sheer volume of it is upsetting. Whatever love they have for their children should enable them to put aside their anger. You suffer in silence to not be a burden but it costs you your mind. Let me help."

"J'onn, you're a superhero not a psychiatrist. Your job is saving the world, I can't, I won't ask you to help me."

"Earth doesn't seem to be in peril at the moment." he smiles wistfully.

There's no dissuading him. I can see it from the firm set of his mouth and steady eyes.

"What do you suggest?"

"Bond with me."

"What?"

"Allow me link your mind with mine." J'onn clarifies.

It takes me a minute to understand what he means but it takes far longer for me to come up with an answer and before I can say a word J'onn continues.

"You need to look inside yourself. Ask yourself, is being here with me helping you?"

I stare at his red eyes, my face portraying blankness. Being in my mind with him is helping, it makes me feel better but what about my sisters? Do they not deserve to feel the same as me?

"J'onn I'm not the only one suffering, for me to take refuge in you is unfair to my sisters. They suffer just as much if not more given their young age."

He sighs, almost imperceptibly as he cups my face in his large hands. I'm a good foot and a half shorter than him, causing J'onn to lean down to press his forehead to mine, he straightens up just as his velvet voice surrounds me.

"Humans and aliens do not mix," he looks distant at this moment, as if recalling a past incident. "people of this world do not have much tolerance for others who look different. It is absent in you but your sisters will not respond to me like you. They will fear what they do not know and in their fear they will turn on you, refusing to accept your help."

I know what he says is true. I have witnessed it myself in both my sisters and the people around me. The Justice League superheroes are well known, yet the media shines its light on Superman, Wonder Woman and Flash. Batman hides his identity too well but Green Lantern and J'onn are hardly ever mentioned in the news.

Humans favor humans, even then they favor humans with light skin tones. My sisters would respond better to Superman or Batman but they would never ease up to J'onn the way I do.

Is it proper of me to accept what J'onn is offering knowing I'm privileged to a unique gift?

"Think it over, I am needed for watch duty." J'onn softly interrupts my thoughts.

"Okay."

"I will find you tomorrow, sleep now."

His fingers touch my temple, I can feel the dream state fading away. My sleep turns restful and I just know that J'onn numbed out some of my pain. I whisper a quiet thanks in thoughts ready to let my body rest.

Morning finds me turning away from the streaming sunlight falling into be my face. Blinking my eyes open, the smiling faces of my sisters greet me.

"What happened?"

"Mom came back!" they chorus grinning at me.

"Ooo awesome. So did you all make breakfast?"

"Umm no." the youngest replies still smiling.

Ah youth, the simple joys in life.

"Well then lets go make breakfast alright? You guys go get whatever you think we should have for breakfast, I'll go freshen up and come."

The older of my two younger sisters gives me a smile as she tugs the other along and I know that things have indeed settled from last night's horror to a more normal horror to which we have all been desensitized long ago.

The mirror once again presents me with my face, this time less tired and grey. The entire time I autopilot my way through my morning ritual, my mind turns J'onn's words over and over.

Ask yourself, is being here with me helping you?

Yes. It is helping me. So shouldn't I accept his offer? But to link my mind to his, it seems far more intimate than even the most intimate of human acts.

I don't think J'onn has mind linked himself with the Justice League, at least not in the way he's offering to me. At the bottom of this thought his first words come to mind.

I am stronger here than you are. You have to believe in me.

Trust and belief, that's what it all boils down to. Do I trust myself in the mind of this alien? Can he withstand my darkness and not resent me for my thoughts should they turn hateful and selfish? I am human after all, bound to make mistakes, slip up in control and be unreasonable.

J'onn is much older and far more grounded than I could ever hope to be even if did loose his composure yesterday.

"COME DOWN FOR BREAKFAST!"

"COMING!" I shout back at my sisters.

I rush out of the bathroom, dressing quickly before my sisters finish all the food in their joyful mood.

"We made noodles!" the youngest thrusts a plate right in my face.

"Yes.. I would be able to see that if you backed it up a bit."

They burst out laughing and we settle to finish breakfast. Looks like mom has already eaten and dad is nowhere to be found meaning he's gone off for work. At least the house will be peaceful today, my sisters can go off for their classes and enjoy the day.

We clean up the kitchen, prepare lunch for when needed and I help them with their summer holiday projects. Being a college student graduating in approximately six months, I have my own studies to attend to so we gather around to study and munch of snacks. Summer holidays are the best time of year, as a school teacher I get holidays to stay and prepare for the next term.

Being a working student usually occupies my time so thoroughly that I barely have time to spend with my sisters or myself, so now we make the most of it. Mom joins us at the table with steaming cups of tea as she finishes up what we prepared for lunch. We work in a happy silence till lunch time comes around.

The dining room fills with idle chatter after which mom takes my sisters out for their music and art lessons. The house is all mine.

J'onn crosses my mind as I settle myself on the window ledge with my college notebook.

When I think about it I already trust him. I just spent hours with him without a single concern for the fact that I basically went out to meet a stranger after he telepathically contacted me. To top it off, it didn't even occur to me that I might be harmed. I simply trusted him with my physical presence and all my emotions.

Hmm.. Time to head off to the park for a thoughtful walk.

It had become a habit, my mind clears better when I'm walking surrounded by trees and sunlight so I often head out to the park with my books and bagful of snacks. Depending on what's available in my kitchen I often end up making sandwiches, pies, tarts and various drinks. Today I'm the mood for sandwhiches, tarts and fruits.

The early evening is a time when crowds gather in the park so I escape the crowds and make my way to my favorite place.

Blanket spread out, books in a corner and snacks in my bag, I lay down to read. The books captures my attention for an hour before the sound of rustling leaves and sunlight on my face distract me.

Lowering my book I stare up at the canopy of leaves breaking apart to create points of sunlight which twinkle in the wind like stars in a night sky.

My mind linked with J'onn would be something like that I imagine. My thoughts interrupted by his like the sunlight breaking through the leaves, lending the darkness much needed color. Would it be as beautiful as this? Will I feel this way once it is done?

It catches me by surprise when blue light fizzles into life a few feet away from me. I jerk upright, ready to throw my book at it and flee.

J'onn materializes before my eyes, his brow raised in question at my book aimed like a javelin at him.

"God you startled me." I breathe out lowering my arm.

"I apologize. It was not my intention."

I nod at him gesturing to the blanket, my heart wildly thumping from the scare I pull out a bottle of water for drink, watching him as he settles down beside me.

J'onn doesn't look the least bit tired after yesterday and his watch duty. I mention this to him as I offer the bottle to him.

"Thank you, my Martian physiology doesn't require much rest."

"I'm sure that comes in very handy as a superhero."

"Indeed it does."

We settle into silence, each regarding the other carefully, both contemplating the obvious unsaid until I reach out and touch his arm to break the heavy silence.

"J'onn, I've thought about what you said." I look straight into his eyes, seeing the red orbs reflecting me back. "I accept."

J'onn takes my hands carefully in his. It soothes me immediately and I can feel my heartbeat slowing down.

"You need not fear, on Mars we were all connected to each other through the Great Voice. It was the collective sound of the thoughts of my people. Now I am the sole survivor and there is no voice to be heard but silence all around me." he pauses and I feel the gravity of his words.

This would be new to me but it would be normal to him, he was used to the thoughts of a thousand Martians flickering through his mind. I could barely stand my own.

"You will be safe in my hands. I have a feeling this will be easier for you than you think. You will be able to hear my thoughts, find me at any time you need me, if you desire it to be less I can control it."

Every word J'onn says reassures me further and I know I've made the right call.

"J'onn just one question, I understand what you are saying and I understand what to expect now but what about you? Will you be alright knowing that I am privy to your thoughts? I feel like this isn't something even the Justice League is a part of."

His smile radiates warmth along with his hands which cup my face in what I'm beginning to believe is his favorite move.

"I assure you, I will be fine. And yes, you are correct, the Justice League is not a part of this. They would not be able to understand this but you, you'll handle it."

"Alright then J'onn, how do we do this?"

His fingers spread out till the back of my head is cradled in his hands, his thumbs at each of my temples pressing in lightly. He tilts my head up to look at me, his baritone voice softly urging me to close my eyes.

I watch as his red eyes are blocked by my eyelids and become acutely aware of his warmth around me, the rustle of his cape in the wind as it drapes across his biceps, his dark wood and rain scent surrounds me just as electricity shoots through my temples.

My hands fly to his forearms to ground myself from the sudden onslaught of sheer emotions. Its like dying where instead of my life flashing before my eyes, I see his life flash across my eyes.

All of his memories, his life, his wife and child, his planet, battles, sorrow, acceptance of his fate, happiness, contentment and sense of purpose invade every one of my senses, making me live his life as if I were him.

Its dizzying, its terrifying and its heart wrenchingly painful.

I come out of it to find J'onn wiping away my tears, his voice tenderly coaxing me to open my eyes.

"Look at me. I have you."

My eyes must have given away my pain on his behalf for suddenly he's pressing his forehead to mine, whispering in what I vaguely register as Martian. The words escape me completely in my raw state. I need to feel him, to know I'm out of my head and in reality.

J'onn pulls me to his chest, his cape engulfing me as my eyes close, breathing in his scent till everything slowly fades into proper focus. The movement of his chest makes me notice the details around me once again.

Nothing seems different, his breathing is steady, his warmth makes itself known to my mind, my mind! It feels like a scrambled rubrik's cube.

There are whispers in the back of my head that have J'onn's voice in a language I don't recognize. Just as the thought floats across my mind, his thoughts translate into English.

The suddenly comprehensible thoughts calm my jumbled mind, helping me take into account where and what has changed.

'My mind is open to you now, reach for a memory of me and you can find me.'

How do I reply to his thoughts in my head?

'You just did.'

His joyous laughter echoes through my head making me smile physically. Feeling much better I gently pull back from being hidden in his chest to looking up at him.

He smiles for the first time with his teeth showing. It lights up his face and a stray thought flits through my head, here I am almost on the lap of an ancient and powerful alien telepath having just been linked into his mind and guided by the hand on handling my thoughts, I feel like a child.

J'onn presses an almost paternal kiss to my forehead, it conveys a sense of protection, shelter and affection.

"How do you feel?"

He can feel I feel, there's no need for him to ask me that but again when I focus on him I can feel his thoughts, he wants to help me snap from mental to verbal expressions without stumbling. There is a memory at the recesses of his mind which brush up as his thoughts explain this to me. A memory of a green skinned angular child, struggling to accept a mental link with him just like I am doing now.

J'onn seems instantly saddened by the memory.

"You miss them greatly."

I whisper to him, my hand touching his cheek gently. He closes his eyes at my touch. This is the first time I've touched him anywhere personal.

"Very much."

A mission of his comes to the forefront of my mind as J'onn subconsciously relieves a struggle under the temptation of a gold masked witch who offered him his planet in return for a stone. The memory is replaced by him crushing the stone and along with it his hopes of ever seeing his wife and daughter.

"J'onn... How can you live with such a weight in your heart? Do you not feel hopeless sometimes?"

My mind supplies him with the time I stared at my violent parents going all out at each other. How I felt worthless ad helpless, like there was no purpose of my being alive.

"Only if you believe it to be, is it so."

J'onn opens his eyes capturing my hand in his and lowering it to his chest. His words are backed by his thoughts gently guiding me through each attempt at the blade, each attempt at a permanent solution.

'Humanity has great capacity for hope, it is their strongest trait, it is also present in me and you.'

His thought sounds out in my head giving me hope as it were. Hope for tomorrow to be better, hope for more precious moments with J'onn and hope for his heartache to fade with time.

As these thoughts circle around in my head J'onn watches me quietly, occasionally sliding his fingers over my knuckles. His rough finger tips dragging across my skin, creating friction and heat. I curl back into his chest, my ear against the edge of his blue cape collar.

The Martian wraps his arm around my shoulder, draping his cape like a sheet over my neatly tucked body as he leans back against the tree behind him. Neither of us say anything, simply breathing and listening to the random thoughts crossing each others minds.

I must have dozed off in his embrace for when my eyes blink open darkness is setting in and J'onn is breathing much slower than usual. Perhaps he's asleep too? I stay still, not wanting to wake him and instead focus my thoughts on him to see if I can hear anything when he's asleep.

Sure enough he's asleep, the thoughts in his mind have no pattern and are all in Martian. Whatever I can decode hints at the comfort he feels having a warm body against his. Now that is something I can wholeheartedly agree with. Being able to read his mind, I know what he wants just as he realizes it so when J'onn dreams of me cuddling up to him, I am able to make his dream come true.

An appreciative hmm escapes his throat making his chest vibrate. His thoughts change pattern as he starts to wake, loosing their randomness and becoming more focused on my warmth, the cold air and his location.

"I thought your Martian physiology meant you didn't as much sleep as us humans."

"When a link is formed, the brain needs to rearrange its neurons. That's is why we both fell asleep. Tell me, how do you feel?"

Now that he mentions it I feel centered once more, no longer raw and edgy. We spend a while listening to our thoughts, J'onn encourages me to try to control the flow of information from him, as well as to try controlling what I let him see. Its many minutes later when I realize that I'm hungry and that I have snacks.

J'onn releases me to empty my bag of its edible content. I know from his thoughts he too is hungry and we quietly munch on sandwiches, tartlets and fruits. Its almost a picnic and I watch him enjoy different flavors.

"Have you tried tartlets before J'onn?"

"No. This is something new."

"Well you like milk and sweet flavors so I'm sure this will be a favorite."

"You have excellent taste in food."

I offer him the tartlets, feeling his thoughts burst into my mind as he instantly takes a liking to it.

'It was a given, you loves oreos.'

J'onn finishes it happily, his mind filing away tartlets for future consumption as I giggle at his cream covered mouth. I send him the picture of how he appears right now when he looks at my giggles in question.

Its a hilarious image, his green upper lip coated in whipping cream from the tartlet. Handing him a tissue I grin at his serene face not wanting this moment to die.

By the time we are done and ready to go night has once more settled in and J'onn escorts me to the car, his slight hesitation before getting in doesn't escape my notice and I'm reminded of last night and the electric tension between us.

'J'onn..'